Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;50677706]That sounds so impossible to imagine. At a convention setting I'm really good at socializing with people but for lack of a ebtter term in the real world I unno I don't drink at all and I'm not big into sports :v:[/QUOTE] So go do it at a place where you're into the activity. [editline]9th July 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Drk;50678829]Probably, but again, early cases of the disease were labelled as "psychiatric issues" before the neurological symptoms appeared. The early stages of the disease mainly manifest themselves by anxiety and depression. After that you become a vegetable and you die. I don't know. I can't know. And this is killing me. How can you live correctly when you expect to die and lose your capabilities day after day ? The thought of having my parents watching me and crying while i become a vegetable, my brain melting, trapped in my body terrifies me beyond imagination to the point were my daily life is impacted.[/QUOTE] Go find out for sure then you're set. Also we all die at some point at least with a vegetable you'll know.

[QUOTE]Go find out for sure then you're set.[/QUOTE] There's no proper tests to diagnose Creutzfeldt–Jakob. The tests could come back normal and you would still have the disease, it happened in some cases with young people. I can't win with this shit.

[QUOTE=Drk;50678904]There's no proper tests to diagnose Creutzfeldt–Jakob. The tests could come back normal and you would still have the disease, it happened in some cases with young people. I can't win with this shit.[/QUOTE] Well than stop worrying and just accept it and move on. Also I'm gonna go take on the world as the cold person that I love to be. Which ironic my love for myself is what makes me cold to the rest of the world. Yet I fucking love it.

[QUOTE=DELL;50678911]Well than stop worrying and just accept it and move on. Also I'm gonna go take on the world as the cold person that I love to be. Which ironic my love for myself is what makes me cold to the rest of the world. Yet I fucking love it.[/QUOTE] How do you accept that there's a probability that your brain will become a sponge in 14 months and that you gonna die at 25 years old while your loved ones watch you lose all cognitives abilities ? How do you keep moving on ? Dying is one thing. Dying in these conditions is another one.

[QUOTE=Drk;50678928]How do you accept that there's a probability that your brain will become a sponge in 14 months and that you gonna die at 25 years old while your loved ones watch you lose all cognitives abilities ? How do you keep moving on ? Dying is one thing. Dying in these conditions is another one.[/QUOTE] Well you stop being a pussy and not give a fuck and enjoy what's left. You're not responsible for the failures that are the human race, they are conditioned and the response to these things makes no sense.

[QUOTE=DELL;50679011]Well you stop being a pussy and not give a fuck and enjoy what's left. You're not responsible for the failures that are the human race, they are conditioned and the response to these things makes no sense.[/QUOTE] What are you doing

[QUOTE=DELL;50679011]Well you stop being a pussy and not give a fuck and enjoy what's left. You're not responsible for the failures that are the human race, they are conditioned and the response to these things makes no sense.[/QUOTE] The main problem is that there's no "not being a pussy". By definition a disease is outside of your control, even more with this one. You can't chose to "be a man and enjoy what's left". Warrior, soldier, plumber, gardener, the disease makes no consideration : you will die like a vegetable drooling on yourself no matter what. And that's the part i can't accept. I mean what's the point of doing your daily shit if you gonna die in such an awful way ? Now you could said that i'm probably making this disease in my mind and i suffer from nothing else but anxiety, i can hear that, but how could i be sure ? The unknown factor is killing me.

[QUOTE=Drk;50679468]The main problem is that there's no "not being a pussy". By definition a disease is outside of your control, even more with this one. You can't chose to "be a man and enjoy what's left". Warrior, soldier, plumber, gardener, the disease makes no consideration : you will die like a vegetable drooling on yourself no matter what. And that's the part i can't accept. I mean what's the point of doing your daily shit if you gonna die in such an awful way ? Now you could said that i'm probably making this disease in my mind and i suffer from nothing else but anxiety, i can hear that, but how could i be sure ? The unknown factor is killing me.[/QUOTE] As a person who suffers from fervent hypochondria myself, anxiety and depression manifest in so many ways that because you're convincing yourself that you have this disease, your body may start responding in certain ways to trick you into believing it further. CJ is about as rare as actually getting the mad cow disease that everyone was worried about several years ago. Also consider the bird flu or swine flu that so many people were so fervent about in the past decade. You are likely suffering from acute anxiety in terms of your health. If you have the money and resources, visit a neurological specialist. They don't care if you're in for hypochondria or not. They get paid either way. However, if you're a frequently anxious person even before you read about CJ, then it's likely it's nothing and your mental illness is manifesting itself into the physical because of the trickery that the brain is capable of performing. You will probably be okay. [editline]9th July 2016[/editline] Likely have more of a chance of getting into a fatal car accident or getting electrocuted to death, honestly.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50679525]As a person who suffers from fervent hypochondria myself, anxiety and depression manifest in so many ways that because you're convincing yourself that you have this disease, your body may start responding in certain ways to trick you into believing it further. CJ is about as rare as actually getting the mad cow disease that everyone was worried about several years ago. Also consider the bird flu or swine flu that so many people were so fervent about in the past decade. You are likely suffering from acute anxiety in terms of your health. If you have the money and resources, visit a neurological specialist. They don't care if you're in for hypochondria or not. They get paid either way. However, if you're a frequently anxious person even before you read about CJ, then it's likely it's nothing and your mental illness is manifesting itself into the physical because of the trickery that the brain is capable of performing. You will probably be okay. [editline]9th July 2016[/editline] Likely have more of a chance of getting into a fatal car accident or getting electrocuted to death, honestly.[/QUOTE] Seems reasonable, but i can't manage to "convince" myself than i'm "only" anxious. That shitty fucking Damoclès-type disease is still floating on top of my head. What i have seen (videos of parents telling the story of their daughter / son that went in a vegetative state in six months, when it all began with anxiety and depression) and read about it (usually appears at 25-30 years old) is so damn horrible that it keeps haunting me. That being said i will try to contact a neurological specialist, i do have the money but not the ressources, read the contacts.

[QUOTE=Kolmala;50679367]What are you doing[/QUOTE] Being a schizophrenic and stating what works for me. For me just because I hear voices I'm labeled as Not worth being around. Which I'm either gonna end up dying with my mind all over the place or as a sedated husk. Ironically if I say I can talk to spirits or I'm talking to god I'm no longer crazy I'm just a weird religious person. Gotta play with the hand you're dealt in the end even if it is shitty.

[QUOTE=TheCactusman;50677427]Setraline. Day one. Can't sleep.[/QUOTE] The first few weeks of being on Sertraline sucks and at first will make you feel sick, plus many other side effects, and will sometimes make you feel mentally worse than before. But stick at it, it takes time for it to take effect. However, if you experience any odd side effects or just don't feel it is working, definitely worth speaking to your GP to get you on the right thing . Bare in mind itll take 1-2 months at least to start kicking in.

Sertraline made me very tired

Sertraline has basically no effect on me that I can tell, but I'm on it and have been for about a year to prove a point (the point being that it doesn't help), and now I'm dependant on it.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;50677078]It's been over a year and I still get depressed thinking about her. I was with her a few months ago for a day and I was willing to work things out but she decided to leave me again that same day. I don't know why she even contacted me just to leave me again and that hurt. It's all she ever did was hurt me. I'm getting a little bit better but like I said some days it doesn't hurt too bad but other days it hurts a lot. I had it worse last year by drinking everyday just to try and forget her and feel better. I would definitely never get back with her ever and wouldnt even want to be friends[/QUOTE] Like I said, you're not necessarily going to get rid of her. You just learn how to deal with your thoughts and get on with your life. You do not need her. It seems like maybe something went tits up with the other guy and she came running back to you, or she just wanted some kind of ego boost. She seems to get some sort of kick out of hurting you. She isn't worth it, she sounds like a massive dickhead if I am honest, and she's treating you in a disgusting manner. Don't allow her to do that. Cut her out- and when she comes running, turn her away. She made her choice of abandoning you, and if you let her back in, she seems like she'd just do it over and over purely because she gets a thrill out of it. She's not worth it. I am glad you're getting better. Yes it is bound to, but at least you are making progress. You've got to remember there are so many lovely women out on this planet, and no one has just "one" person who they could have as a life partner. There are multiple possibilities out there, you've just gotta try be open to it. Yeah, drinking isn't ever the solution... it's a depressant after all, so all it does is make you feel worse. That's good that you want to completely cut out this seemingly manipulative and emotionally abusive woman. I know I mentioned before about not having a rebound. However, I think a good idea for you (giving that it has now been over a year), that subtly getting back out there, and meeting some new people might help - just make some new friends, and you never know, you might find someone new through that. Meeting new people is something that always helped me in these situations - just getting out, enjoying life and making new friends is sometimes all you need. It's a good distraction. It will take time. I know it's frustrating, but you will get through this and learn to deal with it all better. :smile:

[QUOTE=GisG56;50681034]Like I said, you're not necessarily going to get rid of her. You just learn how to deal with your thoughts and get on with your life. You do not need her. It seems like maybe something went tits up with the other guy and she came running back to you, or she just wanted some kind of ego boost. She seems to get some sort of kick out of hurting you. She isn't worth it, she sounds like a massive dickhead if I am honest, and she's treating you in a disgusting manner. Don't allow her to do that. Cut her out- and when she comes running, turn her away. She made her choice of abandoning you, and if you let her back in, she seems like she'd just do it over and over purely because she gets a thrill out of it. She's not worth it. I am glad you're getting better. Yes it is bound to, but at least you are making progress. You've got to remember there are so many lovely women out on this planet, and no one has just "one" person who they could have as a life partner. There are multiple possibilities out there, you've just gotta try be open to it. Yeah, drinking isn't ever the solution... it's a depressant after all, so all it does is make you feel worse. That's good that you want to completely cut out this seemingly manipulative and emotionally abusive woman. I know I mentioned before about not having a rebound. However, I think a good idea for you (giving that it has now been over a year), that subtly getting back out there, and meeting some new people might help - just make some new friends, and you never know, you might find someone new through that. Meeting new people is something that always helped me in these situations - just getting out, enjoying life and making new friends is sometimes all you need. It's a good distraction. It will take time. I know it's frustrating, but you will get through this and learn to deal with it all better. :smile:[/QUOTE] yeah she's not a good person. I wouldn't be surprised if she intentionally liked hurting me. I'm glad things are over with us. I haven't gone back to drinking so That's a good thing. I just really regret being involved with her. After all the hurt she put me through I regretted our entire relationship. [editline]10th July 2016[/editline] If she ever comes back to me I'm just going to tell her to fuck off. I won't let her hurt me anymore

I still haven't written my CV or sent it to all those places who needed jobs that I found. I don't know where to start, and while it should be easy as fuck I just don't start, and I just tell myself that I don't know where to start, and then because I don't start I tell myself I can't start. And then this goes until it's actually too late to start, and I just don't know what to do. I'd throw myself out on the street if it did any good, because that's what my mom wants to do. I could save the world if it was an emergancy, and I knew it, I'd probably be more decisive than a military officer, but it's just not the case and I don't know what to do.

I've been finding recently I've been really into radiohead and I didn't realize antidepressants were keeping me off this that whole time

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;50682836]yeah she's not a good person. I wouldn't be surprised if she intentionally liked hurting me. I'm glad things are over with us. I haven't gone back to drinking so That's a good thing. I just really regret being involved with her. After all the hurt she put me through I regretted our entire relationship. [editline]10th July 2016[/editline] If she ever comes back to me I'm just going to tell her to fuck off. I won't let her hurt me anymore[/QUOTE] I get a strong sense that you are focusing yourself too much on her wrong doings. Something I find helpful, (whilst yes, baring in mind the things that the other person did wrong) is thinking what I did wrong, and then making self improvements for those things. You can only control yourself, you can make you a good person, you have a choice in that fact. You cannot change someone else. It's good that you can recognise what is and isn't good for you. That's a great thing! Regret is a shit feeling that creeps up on us a lot - I wouldn't regret being involved with her. Just be grateful for the good memories you shared together (you wouldn't of fallen in love with her for no reason), whilst being mindful of the bad times, so you can apply that when finding future partners, and during future relationships. Things happen for a reason - they're either something that brings happiness to your life and stay around, or they're something you can learn from. I understand how you feel, but it's important to keep your mindset positive like I mentioned in the previous paragraph. Good, I am glad to hear it. You are capable of a life without her - you've stuck it out for the past year, and you're still here. You seem to have the right attitude about it. I know you're feeling negative such as regret etc, but try turn that into positive things. For example, you might be thinking "Oh god I wish I never met her" but if you never met her, you wouldn't of had positive memories or learned the things you did when you were with her. Whether relationships last or not, those special people in our lives help us learn new things about ourselves, and open ourselves up to new things, and if it doesn't last, then you learn from their mistakes and your own mistakes as well. :smile:

This might be insane but I wish I could just cry a bunch of this out I know that's not how feelings work but I feel like this energy has to go somewhere That's kinda why I use this thread like a diary It feels on some small level like I'm expelling negativity

[QUOTE=GisG56;50683203]I get a strong sense that you are focusing yourself too much on her wrong doings. Something I find helpful, (whilst yes, baring in mind the things that the other person did wrong) is thinking what I did wrong, and then making self improvements for those things. You can only control yourself, you can make you a good person, you have a choice in that fact. You cannot change someone else. It's good that you can recognise what is and isn't good for you. That's a great thing! Regret is a shit feeling that creeps up on us a lot - I wouldn't regret being involved with her. Just be grateful for the good memories you shared together (you wouldn't of fallen in love with her for no reason), whilst being mindful of the bad times, so you can apply that when finding future partners, and during future relationships. Things happen for a reason - they're either something that brings happiness to your life and stay around, or they're something you can learn from. I understand how you feel, but it's important to keep your mindset positive like I mentioned in the previous paragraph. Good, I am glad to hear it. You are capable of a life without her - you've stuck it out for the past year, and you're still here. You seem to have the right attitude about it. I know you're feeling negative such as regret etc, but try turn that into positive things. For example, you might be thinking "Oh god I wish I never met her" but if you never met her, you wouldn't of had positive memories or learned the things you did when you were with her. Whether relationships last or not, those special people in our lives help us learn new things about ourselves, and open ourselves up to new things, and if it doesn't last, then you learn from their mistakes and your own mistakes as well. :smile:[/QUOTE] while we did have good memories I just can't help but feel resentment. If she cared about me like I did we would still be together. She's got someone else now anyway so I just got to move on and focus on myself

[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;50683326]This might be insane but I wish I could just cry a bunch of this out I know that's not how feelings work but I feel like this energy has to go somewhere That's kinda why I use this thread like a diary It feels on some small level like I'm expelling negativity[/QUOTE] I recommend actually starting a journal, and physically writing things down. I found it super helpful :smile: [editline]10th July 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Crpto2007;50683445]while we did have good memories I just can't help but feel resentment. If she cared about me like I did we would still be together. She's got someone else now anyway so I just got to move on and focus on myself[/QUOTE] I understand. I guess sometimes you will stay feeling resentment, but I hope you eventually don't anymore because it's only hindering your own healing. Forgiveness and compassion is a vital part of moving forwards. I understand that you are frustrated that she didn't care as much as you though, I know that feeling all too well. Exactly! You'll be okay :smile:

I am being kicked out. I'm horrified.

I'm trying to forgive. I'm feeling good today anyway and it's not hurting as much to think about her

She was busy this weekend but I asked her about next and she said she would let me know if she is free, I guess all I can do is hope she does let me know? I hate feeling like I'm being a bother or a nuisance, I feel like that whenever I ask someone to hang out but it's way worse with this girl. I don't care what your stance is on "love" if you believe it exists or not but man there are things about this girl that just keep running through my mind. Her smile, her laugh, the way she walks, and how she was singing in the car the last time we hung out. God if I fucked up already or if I fuck up it will be so hard to get over. After all the shit I've been through dealing with depression I finally find someone who I seem to click with and yet my depressive thoughts still are trying to get in the way.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;50685973]I'm trying to forgive. I'm feeling good today anyway and it's not hurting as much to think about her[/QUOTE] That's great! Keep it up, you can do it :smile: [editline]11th July 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=ColdWave;50688092]She was busy this weekend but I asked her about next and she said she would let me know if she is free, I guess all I can do is hope she does let me know? I hate feeling like I'm being a bother or a nuisance, I feel like that whenever I ask someone to hang out but it's way worse with this girl. I don't care what your stance is on "love" if you believe it exists or not but man there are things about this girl that just keep running through my mind. Her smile, her laugh, the way she walks, and how she was singing in the car the last time we hung out. God if I fucked up already or if I fuck up it will be so hard to get over. After all the shit I've been through dealing with depression I finally find someone who I seem to click with and yet my depressive thoughts still are trying to get in the way.[/QUOTE] Try not to take it personally, she probably really is just super busy, and if she says she'll get back to you, trust that she will. Try your best to not focus too much on depression.. Focus on the positive elements of the girl, and think of how you are together, to take your mind off it. You will not fuck it up if you do not believe you will. Believe in yourself - just because you have depression, doesn't mean you are incapable of love/a relationship with someone else. Also, remember your own value, and the positive things you bring to the relationship (don't even try to play the "there isn't any" card, because if there wasn't, this girl wouldn't of been interested in you). You will be fine, trust me, just try not to let the depression take over and become the focus of everything :smile: You're more than capable of not messing things up.

Passed out at work today. Dunno if it was the stress or the heat, but I broke down immediately after I woke up. I'd go to the doctor, but I'm not insured and you need money to see what's actually wrong with you in this brilliant country of ours.

its so hard to talk to people

I love people hi guys

I didn't follow through with running away because I'm a pussy and I guess I didn't lose my job. So I toughened up and accepted that my grandma is always gonna give me hell, I have control over my body and she can't do anything. If I can manage to hold down my job, it will only take me a year or two to have a good large safety net of money. My friend out-of-state and I are still trying to think of a living-together situation but if that doesn't work I will have my shit together solo within 5 or so years.

Went out on a few sorta date like things with this girl, texted me out of the blue saying "she's not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship and can't provide the support I need" Not an unfair statement by any means, but I'm so frustrated with myself for making it true. I wish I wasn't so dependant gosh darn