Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

I've had really shitty anxiety problems for years now and I've noticed that if I wake up early I'll have a time period at about 6-8am where I feel fucking great, I feel really happy, full of energy and productive. Then I go back to feeling like crap for the rest of the day, does anyone experience a similar thing?

[QUOTE=Fort83;50689263]Days like today I find myself constantly thinking about killing myself. I feel like it'd be better if I was gone.[/QUOTE] Same here, I was fine earlier today now I'm just really depressed [editline]11th July 2016[/editline] i already tried once I'm worried I might do it again

Just gonna repost this from another thread, might get more help here. --- Hey guys, forgive my lack of coherency, I'm running on about 2-3 hours of sleep at this point. How do you recover from a traumatizing acid trip? I don't want to go into detail but I took two and a half tabs of acid about 12 hours ago and had an extremely negative trip in my parent's house (I live with my them at the moment). The original plan was to drop the two and a half tabs and relax for a bit as I took off work for a few days to unwind. Unfortunately, the acid was VERY potent and I started coming up incredibly fast - needless to say, this lead to a dangerous amount of anxiety. Eventually, I told my mom that I had took something and it all went downhill from there. To make a long story short, I acted like a total fool, threw up many times on the carpet, and said some really personal things about myself that I would normally never say to anyone. Unsurprisingly - given the dose - I also felt extremely emotionally sensitive to it all. The whole thing was completely humiliating and I think it acted as a catalyst to resurface some of my biggest insecurities. I feel very depressed, very embarrassed, very guilty, and mildly suicidal. At the very least, I apologized to my parents. How do I move on from this? Thanks guys.

Give it time, all you can do really, exercise to keep your mind occupied and your body relaxed for a while and you should feel a lot better in a few days or a week or so!

[QUOTE=exhale77;50689379]Just gonna repost this from another thread, might get more help here. --- Hey guys, forgive my lack of coherency, I'm running on about 2-3 hours of sleep at this point. How do you recover from a traumatizing acid trip? I don't want to go into detail but I took two and a half tabs of acid about 12 hours ago and had an extremely negative trip in my parent's house (I live with my them at the moment). The original plan was to drop the two and a half tabs and relax for a bit as I took off work for a few days to unwind. Unfortunately, the acid was VERY potent and I started coming up incredibly fast - needless to say, this lead to a dangerous amount of anxiety. Eventually, I told my mom that I had took something and it all went downhill from there. To make a long story short, I acted like a total fool, threw up many times on the carpet, and said some really personal things about myself that I would normally never say to anyone. Unsurprisingly - given the dose - I also felt extremely emotionally sensitive to it all. The whole thing was completely humiliated and I think it acted as a catalyst to resurface some of my biggest insecurities. I feel very depressed, very embarrassed, very guilty, and mildly suicidal. At the very least, I apologized to my parents. How do I move on from this? Thanks guys.[/QUOTE] with anything embarrassing and guilt inducing, time is your best friend. eventually it'll be less discussed, there'll be less thoughts about it and everyone will forget. it'll never be brought up again at a later stage. the closest experience I get to this myself is when I did acid myself and my entire family found out. I've never felt like such a big disappointment before, I was filled to the brim with guilt. I was thrown out of the hospital I was living at (depression etc), I felt like my family had done so much for me and helped me all the way and then I was a big idiot who managed to throw it all out of the window. the time after was pretty awful but eventually it was forgotten. I never think about it and my family behave as if it never happened. time will fix it, but until time fixes it then the most you can do is to occupy yourself to not think too much about it.

I don't have the money to pay for a new batch of anti-depressants and I've only had mood-stabilizers over the weekend. I'm diagnosed with schizophrenia, social anxiety and depression. Last night something very minor came up between one of my good friends and me which set a whole bunch of shit in motion in my head. Self doubt, self loathing and generally just feeling like a shit person to name a few. I haven't felt like this in months and it's probably only gonna get worse until I find some way to get my hands on my pills. I'm trying to build up the courage to ask my parents to lend me some money, but they're already in a bit of financial trouble themselves, so idk. v:v:v

Still that fucking fear of (variant) creutzfeldt jakob playing with my head and stomach. I feel like nothing i do is worth a shit because i'm RIP in a few months. I have troubles eating since my stomach is a knot. I can't deal with this fucking disease, it's so damn horrible and it's like the incarnation of the worst things conceivable for an anxious dude like me, i mean take a look at this shit : [B]- can stay in incubation for several decades[/B] (before showing up and transforming you in a vegetable in 12 months) [B]- early symptoms are mostly psychological[/B] (anxiety, depression, tiredness, lost of appetite...) [B]- no treatment, no cure, guaranteed death[/B] (and not the sudden one, no, this shit makes literal holes in your brain) [B]- no real diagnosis is available[/B] (often stay undiagnosed or misdiagnosed until the moment when the neurological aspects are so severe you can barely tie your shoes) I can't deal with the whole "early psychological symptoms", that's what chills my bones because i feel like my anxiety appeared out of fucking nowhere with an intensity that i've never felt before = must be a rare disease of something seriously fucked up.

[QUOTE=Stoffy;50689488]I don't have the money to pay for a new batch of anti-depressants and I've only had mood-stabilizers over the weekend. I'm diagnosed with schizophrenia, social anxiety and depression. Last night something very minor came up between one of my good friends and me which set a whole bunch of shit in motion in my head. Self doubt, self loathing and generally just feeling like a shit person to name a few. I haven't felt like this in months and it's probably only gonna get worse until I find some way to get my hands on my pills. I'm trying to build up the courage to ask my parents to lend me some money, but they're already in a bit of financial trouble themselves, so idk. v:v:v[/QUOTE] Not sure on how your country is, though here in canada you can get a plan G to cover psych meds. Though social anxiety and depression should go away as that would be part of schizophrenia once that's treated. Not sure why they would have you on anti-depressants though, for me now that ablify is working well. All the hallucinations have decreased massively and well believe in yourself, it got my voices to ask for death, which I'm giving them. Plus this not having hallucinations on my senses is nice, no more cigs that taste like buttered popcorn is a plus. One other thing to add, the self hate was only from the voices and delusional hallucinations that come with being a schizo. Now that those are gone for the most part I feel like the world should run cause I've arisen from the hellfire that once consumed me. Which is fantastic because in one of my crazy meditative states a demon killed itself to give me it's power. Plus killed some gods though that was as they said only a test to see if I was worthy. On the plus side before they asked me to kill them from my mind they said once dead I am to have a spot with them once my human body dies. Which makes me think buddhism might be onto something. Also the rising from hellfire was with love so the world has to fear love as they conditioning is to escape and fill that void of love with other things. So look out world I'm coming to spread love and kill stigmas for this world needs a fucking shit ton of healing and that's what a shaman must do.

what do you guys do when a really, really, REALLY close friend and you cuddle mutually (it was very initmate, non-sexual) and after the fact we both establish that we like eachother but she really isn't ready to feel anything yet as she recently got out of a longterm abusive relationship and we are still really good, close friends but i can't help beating myself up over it even though it's obvious it was both our faults and we should move past it. some small part of me is nagging at me, saying "things will never be the same" can anyone help me out? i'm trying to think rationally, but i really can't help this depression.

I don't understand. Just because she's not ready for a relationship doesn't mean you can't still do things together if she's okay with it. Doesn't mean you need to explicitly never do things in an intimate context. It depends on hers and your boundaries. People seem to be of a mind that if a person says they're not ready for a relationship, that means that there's no possibility of it ever happening forever. But usually women just. Mean what they say? She's not ready for a relationship. But if she's still okay with spending time with you, then that's fine too. You don't have to be with her if she's not ready. Of course, if you're the kind of person who is not okay with doing that sort of thing without the label of girlfriend/boyfriend, then that's okay too but - None of this should be a reason to be upset about it. And nothing is saying you can't occasionally talk about feelings and thoughts. Adults learn to communicate. If you want to have successful relationships, platonic and romantic, you need to learn to talk.

-snipe-

[QUOTE=Pascall;50691760]I don't understand. Just because she's not ready for a relationship doesn't mean you can't still do things together if she's okay with it. Doesn't mean you need to explicitly never do things in an intimate context. It depends on hers and your boundaries. People seem to be of a mind that if a person says they're not ready for a relationship, that means that there's no possibility of it ever happening forever. But usually women just. Mean what they say? She's not ready for a relationship. But if she's still okay with spending time with you, then that's fine too. You don't have to be with her if she's not ready. Of course, if you're the kind of person who is not okay with doing that sort of thing without the label of girlfriend/boyfriend, then that's okay too but - None of this should be a reason to be upset about it. And nothing is saying you can't occasionally talk about feelings and thoughts. Adults learn to communicate. If you want to have successful relationships, platonic and romantic, you need to learn to talk.[/QUOTE] Thank you; we have talked about it (we talk about everything), and she's made it clear she isn't ready for anything, and I've made it clear I don't want to pressure her into anything she doesn't want to do. I respect her boundaries and still want to hang out with her. We still do things together; in fact a few days ago (the day after we cuddled in fact) we went to dinner together, went skating, and walked around together for a whole 12 hours straight and had a great time. And a few days after that we went to a concert with a mutual friend and got piss drunk afterwards. It was really fun and I had a great time! I don't want her to feel guilty as if I'm expecting something out of this, because I really don't expect anything; what happened, happened, and all we can do is accept that and move on. The only thing I'm worried about is that she thinks I'll be weird around her just because of what happened. Which has shown to be false, but that night of the concert, I heard from a good mutual friend that she thinks I'm "expecting us to date somewhere down the line" and she doesn't feel like that at all. Neither do I! And so I told her that, and that if I said anything that made her feel like that, it's not what I meant and I'm really not expecting anything. The reason she thinks that (I think), is that the morning after we cuddled, I may have said something like that, and I regret saying it because it was just still transient emotions talking, after-effects from the night before. I think she knows that too but I'm in a weird place because I really want to move past this and get over it but I also want to clear things up, but I don't know if I even have to.

Feeling really depressed today, I got a lot of stuff on my mind

society in general is pretty stressful I have to say. it is tempting to say that I'd love to be a caveman but I know I'd have a shitty time and probably die in not too long. there's so many standards and worries, you can't really take things at your own pace. being with friends even isn't a thing you can pace like you want to. they'll ask you to hang out and if you keep denying for whatever reason, you'll lose them. if you never contact them, you'll also lose them. you have to keep lubricating the relation to ensure it works else it'll fall apart. school has to be done else you'll be that "idiot who never finished school" (not to mention severely limiting your job selection) and work has to be done else you'll be without money to live with. you can't get away from people who will judge you and some people will definitely talk trash behind your back. like my best friend a few years ago said once over Skype, "we all trash talk each other, it's unavoidable! you probably trash talk me when I'm not around and I definitely trash talk you while you're not around, it's something that everyone does". I never really trash talked him so it was kinda awkward, but he does have a point. I've caught myself so many times talking shit behind peoples back with others, just to turn around, go to the person we just shit talked and suddenly us two shit talk the person I was shit talking with. in the end, I don't know how else this world would function. I've said this in the past as well when I've shared my thoughts about society, that society needs to be just like it is for the world to go around. it's why we've come so far as a human species after all. I just wish there was less toxicity and negativity. that it was more normal to embrace people than to shun them away. that it was looked down upon to talk shit behind peoples back. I think life is pretty meaningless. there is some truth to it, it truly is meaningless. us as individuals don't have much use, we only have a use in numbers. we don't fight for our survival, we don't have a goal of staying alive. we just shovel coal into the infinitely running furnace called society. with that said, I don't think life really needs a meaning so not trying to be negative, it's just a weird thought. I think life is more about just enjoying it, find value in the small things and do what makes you happy. the problem is just having the ability to keep finding things to do to make you happy. [editline]12th July 2016[/editline] feeling surprisingly at peace with myself. tired, drained of energy, but I'm okay. life is beautiful and broad. just gotta find something that drives you

Is there anyone out there that doesn't mind talking for about an hour about things, in private? I just really need life changing advice right now. I'm just too sensitive to function in reality and even online. This issue has existed since forever and I just need a change. I can't get a therapist. They're too expensive, and they don't help. I need a real human who's gone through a similar situation, instead of a professional who's read about it in books, or not at all.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;50692879]Is there anyone out there that doesn't mind talking for about an hour about things, in private? I just really need life changing advice right now. I'm just too sensitive to function in reality and even online. This issue has existed since forever and I just need a change. I can't get a therapist. They're too expensive, and they don't help. I need a real human who's gone through a similar situation, instead of a professional who's read about it in books, or not at all.[/QUOTE] I would offer myself but I really need to go to bed so I don't lose too many hours of sleep. one thing I want to say though, do remember that you might already sit on that life changing advice. at least from my own experience, I have usually figured out what I need to do but I keep denying it, making excuses not to do whatever it is, that I need to focus on other things and so on. basically burying down what really needs to be done as truth to be told, what needs to be done is usually scary. in my case, my body was a large source of discomfort for me but I never went through the effort of losing my weight. eventually I said fuck it and did it and now I'm 26kg lighter and still dropping kilos, feeling much better about myself. it has made everything easier for me. perhaps there is something like that for you too, a big offender in making you feel shitty and perhaps lowering your self esteem? it's a little hard to shift this, but I notice that you write "I'm just too sensitive to function in reality and even online". it sounds like you're setting yourself up for a self fulfilling prophecy, acknowledging that you are too sensitive to function and kinda use it as an excuse to also not function? I could be wrong, it's your judgement to make if it's true or not. I know that I have suffered from this myself at least, thinking "I can't do that" for various things which makes me not do it as I've convinced myself I can't. it's important to remember that nothing is impossible, and if it seems impossible, it's just very hard at the time. it is however perfectly doable to make it easier given enough work! challenging it until it gets better is one way but sometimes you also need to make a few other steps before you can make that step. just be careful to not use it as an excuse to not work on the issue, it's an easy trap to fall in. learning to shift "I can't" to "it's hard" is a good way of overcoming obstacles I've found as it makes it easier to work on the issue since you remind yourself that it is possible. therapists, people with advice and so on are good to have, but in the end, your biggest ally is yourself. I hope things turn out okay for you and to be frank, I'm sure it will in the end!

If I better myself, mom may not kick me out. Today I went up at 6 am, did some chores, put on coffee and then went out for a jog for the first time in a year. It felt pretty good and she seemed pleased.

I have this strong belief that is either dangerous, or makes you feel free: When we die, all our memories are gone, and nothing can read the data, and that means there's no proof of it ever happened. That leads to the final conclusion (according to my belief) that nothing is actually happening right now. It is 100% pointless. Either you live in this condition and feel depressed, or you do whatever the fuck you want.

[QUOTE=The bird Man;50693320]I have this strong belief that is either dangerous, or makes you feel free: When we die, all our memories are gone, and nothing can read the data, and that means there's no proof of it ever happened. That leads to the final conclusion (according to my belief) that nothing is actually happening right now. It is 100% pointless. Either you live in this condition and feel depressed, or you do whatever the fuck you want.[/QUOTE] You're right, but you are still both limited and motivated by your physical form (aka body, feelings, thoughts etc). I'd put it this way instead, nothing that is relevant to you is more meaningful than the universe and even without you the universe goes on, so there is always going to be something of meaning so you may aswell live your life trying to do the best you can for the life that transcend your own life.

I dunno if my thoughts is the right place for this, but I really feel the need to tell this story and get it off my chest, and in some ways it might help to spread the word, in a way. I've recently met somebody online and have been having fun chatting with them since April, but of all the luck in the world, I've met them just as they're suffering from serious medical problems and financial quagmires that have left them on the edge for months. By now they're in need of a life-preserving medical operation that can only happen with someone who can watch over them, and at this point their parent is too busy, so they've been asking online for someone to fly over and help out, to no avail thus far. I feel terrible reading about his precarious situation and my relatively-well-off one, including the fact I can do little to help. I've given $20 to a public funding page they have going, but I just know it's very implausible for me to drop everything and go halfway across the country to volunteer, so it's like I'm watching a person's last days unfold over the internet. It also really makes me feel bad morally as I've spent the last few days at a convention and catching up with collecting things, so I feel hollow for all the money I've been spending on collecting hobbies. It's just one of those days when I feel like crying out loud over the disparities and unfairness of the world. Still, despite all of this, I have to admire my friend's beningn handling of the subject matter the way he chat's about these things: [quote]I react to hardship with apathy, seems to be my thing [laugh emoticon] I learned early on whining does shit Whining does shit, cowering gets you kicked Always be in a good mood and don't let stuff bother you...[/quote] Have to agree with those words, it's what I admire. I just wish things could work out better for the guy. I remember how one of their other friends, who was using their artwork to help fund money for him, was complaining about how barely anyone was responding to the fundraising effort, remarking about how if they were a cute animal or something, money would just pour in. Certainly a thought there with how fickle help from the internet can be...

Had a severe allergic reaction to something and spent the day in the hospital hooked to an IV. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, I wonder what the hell did this. Anyways I think I'm okay now, I'm at home in bed feeling drained as hell still though.

[QUOTE=PredGD;50693053]I would offer myself but I really need to go to bed so I don't lose too many hours of sleep. one thing I want to say though, do remember that you might already sit on that life changing advice. at least from my own experience, I have usually figured out what I need to do but I keep denying it, making excuses not to do whatever it is, that I need to focus on other things and so on. basically burying down what really needs to be done as truth to be told, what needs to be done is usually scary. in my case, my body was a large source of discomfort for me but I never went through the effort of losing my weight. eventually I said fuck it and did it and now I'm 26kg lighter and still dropping kilos, feeling much better about myself. it has made everything easier for me. perhaps there is something like that for you too, a big offender in making you feel shitty and perhaps lowering your self esteem? it's a little hard to shift this, but I notice that you write "I'm just too sensitive to function in reality and even online". it sounds like you're setting yourself up for a self fulfilling prophecy, acknowledging that you are too sensitive to function and kinda use it as an excuse to also not function? I could be wrong, it's your judgement to make if it's true or not. I know that I have suffered from this myself at least, thinking "I can't do that" for various things which makes me not do it as I've convinced myself I can't. it's important to remember that nothing is impossible, and if it seems impossible, it's just very hard at the time. it is however perfectly doable to make it easier given enough work! challenging it until it gets better is one way but sometimes you also need to make a few other steps before you can make that step. just be careful to not use it as an excuse to not work on the issue, it's an easy trap to fall in. learning to shift "I can't" to "it's hard" is a good way of overcoming obstacles I've found as it makes it easier to work on the issue since you remind yourself that it is possible. therapists, people with advice and so on are good to have, but in the end, your biggest ally is yourself. I hope things turn out okay for you and to be frank, I'm sure it will in the end![/QUOTE] I have confidence that shit will change, but I don't know when. I don't think I'm setting myself up for failure when I acknowledge there is a problem. I have a lot of empathy for others, and depending on my mood that day I can't brush off insults. The issue is there, but I don't know how to solve it. It's not an excuse, it's a fact. I notice that a lot of my anxiety seems to stem from sensitivity.

More thoughts of suicide are coming up

eyy, just got my blood test results back from my doctor. apparently I'm allergic to hazelnut which I didn't suspect at all. I'm also allergic to birch, timothy and mugwort which are all plants aka I react to the pollen these release which I already kinda knew, though I thought I had outgrown it. I also lack Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D which is good to know. happy to hear about this! I know that hay fever can cause lethargy and I'm not taking any meds for it and now I got a prescription for it woo. from the little I read, it seems like V B12 also has a play in your energy levels and I believe V D also does? that's cool, it means I can improve my well being and energy levels simply by fixing these physical problems! from zero to star as soon as my vitamins are in place and the hay fever has been dealt with? I will find out soon enough

Was prescribed Strattera yesterday for my ADHD. Read up on people's experiences with it. TIME TO START DOING KEGELS.

Close friend of mine with anxiety just went to a psychologist for the first time. It went "terribly", and said friend doesn't wanna talk about it. How do I deal with this situation, I can't handle the thought of this person feeling awful.

[QUOTE=PredGD;50695721]eyy, just got my blood test results back from my doctor. apparently I'm allergic to hazelnut which I didn't suspect at all. I'm also allergic to birch, timothy and mugwort which are all plants aka I react to the pollen these release which I already kinda knew, though I thought I had outgrown it. I also lack Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D which is good to know. happy to hear about this! I know that hay fever can cause lethargy and I'm not taking any meds for it and now I got a prescription for it woo. from the little I read, it seems like V B12 also has a play in your energy levels and I believe V D also does? that's cool, it means I can improve my well being and energy levels simply by fixing these physical problems! from zero to star as soon as my vitamins are in place and the hay fever has been dealt with? I will find out soon enough[/QUOTE] Glad youve found out some useful information . Yes you will defo be able to feel better in terms of well-being. Like they say, body and mind work intrinsically, if one is doing badly, the other is likely to not do so well at the same time. So I think once the imbalances in your body are dealt with and such, youll feel better mentally as well as physically which is great news! :Smile:

[QUOTE=Sandvich9;50696000]Close friend of mine with anxiety just went to a psychologist for the first time. It went "terribly", and said friend doesn't wanna talk about it. How do I deal with this situation, I can't handle the thought of this person feeling awful.[/QUOTE] Tell him exaclly this "You don't have to talk about it, but let me tell you this: Most times it goes awful is because the treatment or psychologist is bad, change to something else". A patient can decide, because he has full control, since no one is forcing him. The treatment and psychologist must adapt to the patient's need, it always work, just give it time. Give him some time before telling him this, he need to calm his thoughts.

Yeah the thing to remember about therapy is that if you ever find your psychologist/therapist/psychiatrist to be ineffective, hurtful, or unhelpful, then you've always got the option to switch to another.

When you thought you lost all hope, but loses your last additional bit of hope you had no idea you had. There's still hope sisters