Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

Well it's been a while again, I dropped off my second application to act as a Support Worker Apprentice for a disability charity in my local area, and I've gotten information from another charity about The Care Act that exists in the UK. I'm kind of disappointed that I'm one of those people that seems to just be stuck in limbo about the Care Act, alot of people have always thought I am "not disabled enough", but under the Care Act, a demand for an assessment must be legally adhered to. I could have possibly had more support than I have had. I also had a discussion with NUS LGBT members about the Bahar Mustafa racism row and the professional conduct - got some of my wires mixed up discussing it, but not to worry too much about it. I suppose I also find it incredibly rude that people automatically assume I'm against them for being Male / White, or that I'm "demanding education" when I interpreted a statement from one such person as them being willing to engage in constructive dialogue. [quote]"this is not a personal attack on u and if you want to understand it from a black woman's view I am willing to talk to you privately."[/quote] This is partly why I hate Aspergers. Things like the above is confusing when they say one thing, and then go on the defensive/sarcastic route and then mean the complete opposite. :v:

It's somehow sad that I don't have anything to say to help people considering suicide in most citcumstances

For those of you who've made it out of depression; what's it like at the end of the tunnel?

[QUOTE=Richoxen;48856223]Didn't you say some girl is really into you? Why don't you try spending time with her instead of drinking at night on your own. Because this isn't going to make you feel better.[/QUOTE] I don't really have feelings for her anymore. She still try's to flirt with me but I don't know she's lied more than once.

[QUOTE=EliaMoroes;48856750]It's somehow sad that I don't have anything to say to help people considering suicide in most citcumstances[/QUOTE] only thing I could think of was "at least don't do it with pills, <10% success rate"

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;48856927]For those of you who've made it out of depression; what's it like at the end of the tunnel?[/QUOTE] Unless you can truly remember who you were before, there isn't an end. I have gotten out of it, I remember who I was, but three years almost have passed since then and I'm just not the same. It's good though, once you're out. Everything is brighter. The feeling of wasted time in between that is always something you have to get passed.

Don't be afraid of getting professional help. That's something i'd kill for honestly. Go get help. Please. We don't need to lose anyone like that. Esp. your girlfriend if you still live with her.

Fucking hell, i'd kill for someone that i'd know irl to who i could express my love to men other than my sister and my social worker and people here. God do i hate this country. :scream:

[QUOTE=~Kiwi~v2;48857677]the problem is that im too afraid of the truth even if its starring in my face i know im mentally ill and i don't want to hear those words and i don't want to be labeled as fucking mentally ill, that's not something i want to accept about myself[/QUOTE] I kinda have to agree with you on that, I find it hard to believe that my depression (or, as my therapist said, "mental disorder not otherwise specified" (I think that's what he called it)) is a true mental illness. I don't want to be mentally ill, I want to be normal, goddamnit.

[QUOTE=~Kiwi~v2;48857677]the problem is that im too afraid of the truth even if its starring in my face i know im mentally ill and i don't want to hear those words and i don't want to be labeled as fucking mentally ill, that's not something i want to accept about myself[/QUOTE] Mental Illness is just as real as physical illness, infact, if you think about it, it is a physical illness, as your brain is a physical object, therefore it is a physical illness. Saying that you're mentally ill has the same legitimacy as someone who has cancer saying they are a cancer patient. The phrase Mentally ill does have derogatory connotations, so just think of it as You're ill, in the brain department. Just like people with Alzheimers, Just like people with Parkinsons, it's a physical illness. I'm not saying you should be proud of it (because really, who is proud of any illness) but you shouldn't think that your particular type of illness should be a source of shame.

The only reason that mental illness has derogatory connotations is the general mentality that everybody is in full conscious control of themselves, their actions, their feelings and their thoughts. I would say that even most people who claim to not have this mentality and to understand, do in fact not fully realize the reality and have their own ideas about what mental illness is. It doesn't help that the brain isn't that well understood and that the field of psychology is young and sort of pseudoscientific.

Though I should point out that it's perfectly fine and good to be proud that you're fighting it. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of energy to fight it, even if you aren't beating it, keeping up the fight is something to be proud of, I've fought ti for 18 years, haven't won yet, but also haven't entirely given up.

There's rarely a case of winning a battle against depression or other similar disorders, it's honestly more about the actual fight and finding ways to cope and live with it and holding on to hope.

[QUOTE=RayvenQ;48858036]Though I should point out that it's perfectly fine and good to be proud that you're fighting it. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of energy to fight it, even if you aren't beating it, keeping up the fight is something to be proud of, I've fought ti for 18 years, haven't won yet, but also haven't entirely given up.[/QUOTE] I don't feel like I'm fighting it, I'm still not doing anything to make me a more productive member of society. It doesn't help that depression is a disability; yes, it disables me to do shit to my fullest, but knowing that it's a disability is eurgh. I feel my problems aren't as important as others' as well.

I fucking hate classrooms.I am sort of fine in almost any other social situation but not classrooms.I really can't explain why

[QUOTE=Creid;48857559]Unless you can truly remember who you were before, there isn't an end. I have gotten out of it, I remember who I was, but three years almost have passed since then and I'm just not the same. It's good though, once you're out. Everything is brighter. The feeling of wasted time in between that is always something you have to get passed.[/QUOTE]I just want everything to be good again.

Last night I learned that my sleeping problems are more persistent than that I could just "try" to fix em. As my mom has been complaining about me going to bed too late. As last night I went for a run and was surprised that I was able to run for an hour. The running also helped my melatonin hit me quite hard, although I took the pills too late. And I then woke up one hour too early, but managed to get some sleep. Strange thing was that the first time I woke up I felt quite alert and the second time had me wake up really groggy. And the groggy feeling has persisted for the whole day.

i'm not going to quit. I have to make changes in my life. I have to believe i can do this and i'm just going to see where it takes me day by day.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;48859093]i'm not going to quit. I have to make changes in my life. I have to believe i can do this and i'm just going to see where it takes me day by day.[/QUOTE] I believe.

It's just the drinking i think is becoming problematic. I feel good drinking but when i overdue it i feel terrible and start saying things i never want to. I gotta go out to the store and buy more because i crave it so bad.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;48860142]It's just the drinking i think is becoming problematic. I feel good drinking but when i overdue it i feel terrible and start saying things i never want to. I gotta go out to the store and buy more because i crave it so bad.[/QUOTE] Thats called an addiction. Over time you'll become dependent on it and ruin your body more as time goes on. You can fight it by yourself, but if you feel you need real assistance, AA meetings can do you some good. It sounds silly, yes, but it'll help you more than succumbing to it day after day.

I really don't want to believe I'm addicted. I feel embarrassed even by the thought of that

The first step in solving a problem is recognizing you have a problem. Sometimes its hard to accept something isn't right. Took me a while to accept a few things about me until I was able to realize that something was different.

Has anyone else been diagnosed with dysthymia? How do you handle it?

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;48860279]Has anyone else been diagnosed with dysthymia? How do you handle it?[/QUOTE] I have severe depression. I deal with it by finding ways to distract myself and my negative thoughts and feelings, though they never go away fully. I recommend finding a hobby, I like to freeclimb and do urban exploration with my best friend.

[QUOTE=DaCreeper;48860306]I have severe depression. I deal with it by finding ways to distract myself and my negative thoughts and feelings, though they never go away fully. I recommend finding a hobby, I like to freeclimb and do urban exploration with my best friend.[/QUOTE] I've been trying to find a hobby for a few months now, but I can't find any that stick. I want to do something off the computer too, but I have no friends. No friends to do anything with. And I always end up pushing everyone away from me.

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;48860338]I've been trying to find a hobby for a few months now, but I can't find any that stick. I want to do something off the computer too, but I have no friends. No friends to do anything with. And I always end up pushing everyone away from me.[/QUOTE] Yeah, that's tough. I push away my entire family, I can't even tell them if something is wrong. I've found comfort in a very negative activity, I guess it's like a last resort when you can't find anything else to distract you, It's not very often my friend is available, and he's pretty much my only real friend. I hope you can find something to keep your mind off the negatives. I wish the best for you, and I'm usually on here if you need to talk or need some advice :D

[QUOTE=DaCreeper;48860392]Yeah, that's tough. I push away my entire family, I can't even tell them if something is wrong. I've found comfort in a very negative activity, I guess it's like a last resort when you can't find anything else to distract you, It's not very often my friend is available, and he's pretty much my only real friend. I hope you can find something to keep your mind off the negatives. I wish the best for you, and I'm usually on here if you need to talk or need some advice :D[/QUOTE] I have enough people I talk to online. I want people to be with offline.

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;48860424]I have enough people I talk to online. I want people to be with offline.[/QUOTE] Sorry, I can't help much there, I usually isolate myself from everyone around me.

I was fine a few minutes ago now I feel bad [editline]8th October 2015[/editline] I just burned myself and I barely even felt it. I needed to focus on something else other than the emotional pain and that didn't even work