Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=DerpishCat;48593902]Hey, I don't even know why I'm posting here but I was told to do it. I have had suicidal thoughts in one form or another for as long as I can remember (at least since I was like 9) and it hasn't exactly gotten any better. I never go outside unless I have to (school, buying food, taking out the trash), I hate myself for who I am, I am pretty damn out of shape and have no motivation to do anything about it and I can't talk to anyone because of my social anxiety. I also have a mild stutter (used to be way worse) which makes me afraid of speaking to anyone, because like what if I fuck up jesus christ how horrifying etc. I don't know what to do about all of shit shit, my only real "solution" is ending my life, thinking of just going to a remote location and... do it. I don't know how or anything, but whatever I guess. Right now I'm low on money because I'm unemployed, I also messed up in school and might not be able to finish my education the normal way (have no grades). Been thinking of working weekends but really what skills do I have? None. I can't talk to people and I have no education, what fucking use am I? What god damn use am I to this world, really? Sorry for messy text layout n shit, but just FUCK I don't even care, I just want this out, don't know what I'm expecting for replies, whatever.[/QUOTE] imo start jogging/running. Good for getting rid of stress and getting into shape!

[QUOTE=GeneralSpecific;48594817]I think maybe you could benefit from seeking therapy.[/QUOTE] I know I probably would, but I just don't feel "ready" to take that step, and money is a big factor in this as I'm sure a therapist won't be working for free. [QUOTE=Scizor;48595366]imo start jogging/running. Good for getting rid of stress and getting into shape![/QUOTE] Oh I have tried to do it on a schedule, just been way too lazy to keep it up, but I'll try.

[QUOTE=DerpishCat;48595395]I know I probably would, but I just don't feel "ready" to take that step, and money is a big factor in this as I'm sure a therapist won't be working for free.[/QUOTE] I'm pretty sure you live in a country where mental health care is mostly paid for by the government. Also getting help is really hard, I know, and it can be the first step towards meaningful improvement in your life.

[QUOTE=DerpishCat;48593902]Hey, I don't even know why I'm posting here but I was told to do it. I have had suicidal thoughts in one form or another for as long as I can remember (at least since I was like 9) and it hasn't exactly gotten any better. I never go outside unless I have to (school, buying food, taking out the trash), I hate myself for who I am, I am pretty damn out of shape and have no motivation to do anything about it and I can't talk to anyone because of my social anxiety. I also have a mild stutter (used to be way worse) which makes me afraid of speaking to anyone, because like what if I fuck up jesus christ how horrifying etc. I don't know what to do about all of shit shit, my only real "solution" is ending my life, thinking of just going to a remote location and... do it. I don't know how or anything, but whatever I guess. Right now I'm low on money because I'm unemployed, I also messed up in school and might not be able to finish my education the normal way (have no grades). Been thinking of working weekends but really what skills do I have? None. I can't talk to people and I have no education, what fucking use am I? What god damn use am I to this world, really? Sorry for messy text layout n shit, but just FUCK I don't even care, I just want this out, don't know what I'm expecting for replies, whatever.[/QUOTE] Killing yourself isn't the solution. I reached that point as well, deciding I wouldn't bother seeking treatment (parents prohibited it) and that clearly the only way out was to end my life. However I realized my mother and closest friends would probably be pretty devestated and instead spent 2 months convincing parents to let me see someone, then a few weeks calling around. It was pretty tough and I almost gave up more than once but I'm glad I did it. I'm in a much better place than I was, and with medication fixing what it can I'm also trying therapy to fix what meds can't. Please, do try to see a professional. It can make a tremendous difference. And even making the commitment to see a professional or seek someone for help can make a difference in your mood and feelings. As far as feeling useless to the world, lolno. You seem to be in some kind of primary/high-school level of education still? Of course you don't feel have much to give, but you do. You don't have to be a use to this world to deserve life either, thats being too self-sacrificial. There are people far more malignant around. Problems talking to people and lack of education are both problems that can be fixed or worked on in time.

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[QUOTE=DerpishCat;48595395]I know I probably would, but I just don't feel "ready" to take that step, and money is a big factor in this as I'm sure a therapist won't be working for free. Oh I have tried to do it on a schedule, just been way too lazy to keep it up, but I'll try.[/QUOTE] Unless you willingly 302 (hospitalize) yourself. I'm not privvy to the info, but I believe you would be assigned a therapist if this is the case. Don't quote me on that, I'd have to confer with a few folks about that. Not sure how its done over in Sweden. Also, if it helps, listen to some music while exercising. Keeps your mind active while doing the exercises. From personal experience, I feel like music that builds up in tempo (several songs that increase in bpm/speed) makes it much more satisfying. [QUOTE=CabooseRvB;48590790]Does anybody here have any experience or knowledge of taking [B]BOTH[/B] Xanax and Mirtazapine at the same time? This is something that is starting to become a concern since I noticed these two medications together on my mother's nightstand, in addition to a near-empty bottle of wine and a shot glass. These meds aren't under her name either. The perscription for the Mirtazapine was back in early June and near-empty, so this has been going on for a while. I just know that these meds can also act a very powerful depressant if abused and seeing these together doesn't really display a promising sign for me. Sad to say that this revelation came up on my birthday. Nice way to end this all.[/QUOTE] From my field of work (care work), mixing medications of any kind can lead to all sorts of things, from catastrophic to nullifying medication effects. Taking an antidepressant with alcohol, a depressant, seems counter-intuitive and possibly a sign of self-harm though a lack of commitment to do so. If the medication is not prescribed to her, then where did she get it? A family member? [QUOTE=D0C H.;48590846]Exactly, but it makes all my other problems feel better. [editline]31st August 2015[/editline] Don't worry though. I am channeling most of my frustration and sadness into my art. So it's predominantly healthy management. I just have a couple drinks in order to stand being home.[/QUOTE] While I respect your decision, I can only hope things smooth out in the future enough where the bottle isn't a requirement to live at home for you. [QUOTE=elevate;48592167]Everything feels more vivid and alive in my dreams than it does in real life. Dreams feel like a lie to me. I wonder if they are? I have dreams about this girl I liked from last semester. I dream about the mutual affection we would have for each other, and how great it would feel. Of course, in real life, I reject these thoughts because they aren't logical. Why worry about a girl who already has a boyfriend? Nonetheless, these dreams illustrate that something is missing in my life. However, I feel that even if I have this thing, it won't feel as great as it does in my dreams.[/QUOTE] As MrJazzy said, dreams are merely reflections of images your brain take in and make something out of it. Think of it as your brain in a slow-moving current: neurons sorta just float around and casually touch each other to create images that don't particularly make sense. The brain is a fucking wonky organ when its in sleep mode. I'm not very keen on REM sleep and psychoanalysis, but you seem to have attached reason behind these dreams, of which seems admirable. Just remember this: Dreams have a hidden value: "Some conditions may apply".

If dreams are reflections of stuff I've seen, how is it that I see things and places I've never seen? I've dreamed I was (likely) in Sweden and exiting a library or some other educational building, getting into a bright red new car, and driving to some tall-ass building off the highway. I've never seen those places in my life, ever. I've also had dreams of some stupid event happening (someone entering a room) and it happens months or years later. :what:

There's a lot about our brain and dreams that we don't understand. What we do understand is our ability to make things outta other things. Imagination is a powerful part of our brain, to make things that don't exist out of things that we've seen and recorded. Dreaming about Sweden but having never been there? Pictures or videos could feed that info to you. Bright red car? Common car color, wouldn't be far fetched to have that appear. Tall building? Again, pictures or videos of really tall buildings of varying structure and make. Event in dream somehow coming to fruition in real life? Most likely coincidence or a subconscious effort to reproduce events or a loose recall of a dream that has some similarities of the event that just occurred or...you get the point. Attaching meaning to our dreams is shaky. While its still within the psych field, psychoanalysis is...well, this is a subject I don't wanna get too deep into. Point is, what you make of it is up to you, dreamer. So dream on :v:

Thank you. I'll tell you what, art sure is a good outlet. I hope things smooth too. Cheers.

[QUOTE=Vaught;48597249]There's a lot about our brain and dreams that we don't understand. What we do understand is our ability to make things outta other things. Imagination is a powerful part of our brain, to make things that don't exist out of things that we've seen and recorded. Dreaming about Sweden but having never been there? Pictures or videos could feed that info to you. Bright red car? Common car color, wouldn't be far fetched to have that appear. Tall building? Again, pictures or videos of really tall buildings of varying structure and make. Event in dream somehow coming to fruition in real life? Most likely coincidence or a subconscious effort to reproduce events or a loose recall of a dream that has some similarities of the event that just occurred or...you get the point. Attaching meaning to our dreams is shaky. While its still within the psych field, psychoanalysis is...well, this is a subject I don't wanna get too deep into. Point is, what you make of it is up to you, dreamer. So dream on :v:[/QUOTE] Well, it's like my good friend Aerosmith said: "dream on til your dreams come true"

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48597494]Thank you. I'll tell you what, art sure is a good outlet. I hope things smooth too. Cheers.[/QUOTE] Art is one of the best releases, what do you do? I just play music with no pressure on recording it. All I've got is a cheap midi keyboard and whatever virtual instruments I could find for free but that doesn't diminish the relaxation or enjoyment at all

I make a serialized drama podcast. I expected a "OH that's cool " But instead it's been called "brilliant " "unique and exciting", "masterful story telling", which has given me Great motivation. And bringing the world to life and seeing people's reactions gives me a sense of happiness.

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48597767]I make a serialized drama podcast. I expected a "OH that's cool " But instead it's been called "brilliant " "unique and exciting", "masterful story telling", which has given me Great motivation. And bringing the world to life and seeing people's reactions gives me a sense of happiness.[/QUOTE] That's really neat! I like tellling stories as well and setting atmospheres. I don't complete a lot of tracks but most of my little concepts all feature a bit of storytelling. Its a lot of fun setting up a universe or atmos and illustrating it with your chosen medium. And when the inspiration strikes you can just get lost doing it for hours and thats fun too :D

I feel I don't have a meaning in this world. I'm a dropout who doesn't know what to do with his life and is essentially stuck working retail.

[QUOTE=paindoc;48597778]That's really neat! I like tellling stories as well and setting atmospheres. I don't complete a lot of tracks but most of my little concepts all feature a bit of storytelling. Its a lot of fun setting up a universe or atmos and illustrating it with your chosen medium. And when the inspiration strikes you can just get lost doing it for hours and thats fun too :D[/QUOTE] It is neat. It was first a feature film script I wrote, then adapted to a podcast. (IM looking for original music!) after having a crap day every day, it's refreshing to hear that my stories and performance is giving people chills [editline]1st September 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=kijji;48597781]I feel I don't have a meaning in this world. I'm a dropout who doesn't know what to do with his life and is essentially stuck working retail.[/QUOTE] You make a meaning. Find something that gives you a feeling of accomplishment. Helping others

Hey, I don't know if this is necessarily the right place to post all this but I was hoping to get some feedback on my recent decision to drop my psychiatrist who I've been seeing about my depression and shit. Less my decision although I did prompt it. I work with a bunch of organizations that provide different things, this and that and whatever, they provided me a psychiatrist. So, just recently I looked in to the lady on the day of our 2nd of 3 meetings. I had previously been getting some bad vibes from them because they seemed to interrupt me a lot and jumped to conclusions. I looked them up and they were consistently rated 2/5 stars on several websites, had numerous complaints about staff rudeness, early discharging, jumping to prescribe medications even when recommendations of counseling would be better, jumping to make a diagnosis, not adequately explaining what the medications do, interrupting, refusing to listen to patients, lack of appropriate follow up meetings, and other shit like that, most of which I can tell you I experienced myself. One thing others complained about that I also had to do was fill out a very basic numeral form off which they made a diagnosis, rather than listening to what I was saying. Worst of all though was they were charged with, presumably while working for a psychiatric ward, 'failing to meet the standard of care for one patient. Prematurely discharged the patient, who was high risk for suicide, from the psychiatric ward. The patient committed suicide within three hours of being discharged.' I promptly emailed the organization and told them I was no longer comfortable with this person, didn't trust them and the huge amounts of medication they prescribed me, and was wondering if someone else was available. They've pulled me from that service and I might not have a psychiatrist at all now, meaning no more prescriptions for anti-depressants. Basically what I was wondering was, do you guys think I made the right move? Is any of this out of the norm for those of you who've been to psychiatrists? I honestly don't know if I jumped the gun or not, I've never really been to a psychiatrist before, for any extended period of time at least.

Last night I had some bad anxiety. When this happens I get a very uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and I can't eat or sleep or do anything. I got about two hours of sleep and I'm just so tired.

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;48598066]Hey, I don't know if this is necessarily the right place to post all this but I was hoping to get some feedback on my recent decision to drop my psychiatrist who I've been seeing about my depression and shit. Less my decision although I did prompt it. I work with a bunch of organizations that provide different things, this and that and whatever, they provided me a psychiatrist. So, just recently I looked in to the lady on the day of our 2nd of 3 meetings. I had previously been getting some bad vibes from them because they seemed to interrupt me a lot and jumped to conclusions. I looked them up and they were consistently rated 2/5 stars on several websites, had numerous complaints about staff rudeness, [b]early discharging, jumping to prescribe medications even when recommendations of counseling would be better, jumping to make a diagnosis, not adequately explaining what the medications do,[/b] interrupting, refusing to listen to patients, lack of appropriate follow up meetings, and other shit like that, most of which I can tell you I experienced myself. One thing others complained about that I also had to do was fill out a very basic numeral form off which they made a diagnosis, rather than listening to what I was saying. Worst of all though was they were charged with, presumably while working for a psychiatric ward, 'failing to meet the standard of care for one patient. Prematurely discharged the patient, who was high risk for suicide, from the psychiatric ward. The patient committed suicide within three hours of being discharged.' I promptly emailed the organization and told them I was no longer comfortable with this person, didn't trust them and the huge amounts of medication they prescribed me, and was wondering if someone else was available. They've pulled me from that service and I might not have a psychiatrist at all now, meaning no more prescriptions for anti-depressants. Basically what I was wondering was, do you guys think I made the right move? Is any of this out of the norm for those of you who've been to psychiatrists? I honestly don't know if I jumped the gun or not, I've never really been to a psychiatrist before, for any extended period of time at least.[/QUOTE] First off, while we are disembodied splats of text on a website, I believe you did make the right choice. You did the right thing by researching the clinic. Secondly, I bolded a part of your text to say a lil something: Some clinics are in what is lovingly called "Big Pharma Pals", or basically a clinic that has an understanding with a pharmaceutical organization to pump out pills for a nice pay of some kind. Their main interest is getting you pilled up and popped out of the clinic without doing much to care for you, keeping you hooked on the meds so you keep having to come back for the meds, ad infinitum, ad nauseum, ad fuckeum. Also shame on these shitty clinics, treating people like a product. Also, insurance companies like to twist the balls of psych clinics in any way they can. The most recent twist is by asking for a diagnosis for a person during the few couple of days of meeting the client/consumer, which isn't particularly easy, leading to rushed diagnoses, or worse--misdiagnoses, but if they want to get the damn meds, they have to follow the carrot through the flaming hoops. I advise you do yourself a favor and research different clinics. If you don't feel comfortable without therapy or the medication, I doubly advise this. [editline]2nd September 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Superkusokao;48598095]Last night I had some bad anxiety. When this happens I get a very uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and I can't eat or sleep or do anything. I got about two hours of sleep and I'm just so tired.[/QUOTE] That's a very typical, albeit crappy, anxiety response. Nothing short of taking deep breaths and trying to isolate the anxiety-driving force from yourself. What exactly brought about this kind of anxiety, if you don't mind me asking?

People. I need your help. I'm a positive, up-beat person and i have this mate who's in a really dark time atm. Hes a bit of an alcoholic, and when i say a bit, i mean hes clearly an alcoholic. His roommates left because of that reason, hes got a good job but yet hes not got many friends because of his drinking. Hes tried to stop drinking a few months back but he realised all his friends he lives near are big drinkers so he feel likes he has to distance himself from them to stop drinking, and they wont stop drinking because of him. Unforutnately his good friends (me and our other good friend group) don't live near him anymore since we left uni and im starting to feel hes getting suicidal thoughts because his texts are getting a bit darker and hes not his usual confident and chirpy self. He turns to drink to cheer him up. How can i get him to cheer himself up and get out of this mess? Hes smart, he knows hes destroying himself but he can't fix it on his own, he admits it. I told him, if he really wants to change this, he needs to get out of this routine of coming home from work, and drinking. I dont think he likes his job which obviously makes things worse. I've told him i think he needs to re-locate to somewhere else, maybe near us and find a new job on something that he actually likes doing. Like a fresh start. And i'm quite forceful in my ways, i've done it before, relocate and completely changed my life because i hated what i was before. I moved to a new city, got a new job, made new friends, completely fresh start, became more confident, found a partner and im so much happier, so theres no excuses for him to say "It's not that easy" because it is. I just want him to be better, he was so happy before and it hurts to see him like this. Hes a good guy!

Well, I have some worrying news - my dog has been given approval to be put into surgery to remove a mass that has been growing on her body for sometime (Not cancerous as far as we know, as Cancers are incredibly rare for West Highland White Terriers). It's been bleeding regularly for sometime, and its reached a point where for a diabetic dog, it's now or never. [img]https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/11022551_10206599243809255_3100472456031025962_n.jpg?oh=3d08396febffe87586542622593392d9&oe=566A4F1D[/img] She's a very old dog, and I know the risks of surgery are more significant for old dogs. I think it's odd for someone like me - I know death is a very big issue, but I'm one of the few people in the family that isn't easily swayed by it. I'm slowly building up confidence to consider an apprenticeship, but it keeps going from "I think I can do it" to immediately thinking otherwise and thus delaying every single opportunity that comes. My sister has been insisting I go over to Bristol instead of staying where I am, and whenever the phone goes off and she talks about it, I'm desperately trying to find means to end the conversation. As I posted in the previous thread, my fear is that my mental health will be called into question, and then I'll be overlooked in favour of someone who is more stable.

I'm tired of carrying my wife. Emotionally. This morning she said that I'm "acting like I don't even love her" All I could do was shrug.

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48600012]I'm tired of carrying my wife. Emotionally. This morning she said that I'm "acting like I don't even love her" All I could do was shrug.[/QUOTE] Marriage counseling an option?

She doesn't like it because they point out what she's doing wrong. Plus, she has so many issues, it wouldn't help anyways. She's scheduled for a therapist on the 9th. Been a two month waiting game to Just get her in. [editline]2nd September 2015[/editline] Just to add a splash of positivity, you can make it! Yes you. Remember, nothing is permanent. It might always seem that way, but your life can change for the better.

Well i managed to fix my grades which means the final year and more anxiety attacks yey. Oh shit.

[QUOTE=greeley;48598563]And i'm quite forceful in my ways, i've done it before, relocate and completely changed my life because i hated what i was before. I moved to a new city, got a new job, made new friends, completely fresh start, became more confident, found a partner and im so much happier, so theres no excuses for him to say "It's not that easy" because it is. I just want him to be better, he was so happy before and it hurts to see him like this. Hes a good guy![/QUOTE] [quote]i've done it before, relocate and completely changed my life because i hated what i was before. I moved to a new city, got a new job, made new friends, completely fresh start, became more confident, found a partner and im so much happier, so theres no excuses for him to say "It's not that easy" because it is.[/quote] This is probably not helping. I get what you are saying, you are speaking from your own experience. Unfortunately, what is true for one person is not true for another and every single human being experiences life differently. The message he is probably hearing from you is "Why are you so incompetent and lazy and stupid that you can't get your life together when it's so fucking easy to do?" Saying "theres no excuses for him to say 'It's not that easy' because it is" is incredibly invalidating. You are ignoring personal challenges, mental health issues, emotional issues, family problems, relationship problems and so much more when you say that. [quote]I just want him to be better, he was so happy before and it hurts to see him like this. Hes a good guy![/quote] I'm sorry but it's really not up to you to make him happy. It's not your decision, it's not in your power and frankly, it's not your right to tell somebody how they should live their life. What you CAN do is listen, show empathy and care, and be compassionate. People don't respond well when other people try to fix things in their life, so DON'T try to fix him! Try to LISTEN to him. That is how you can be supportive.

[QUOTE=greeley;48598563]~story~[/QUOTE] In the case of addiction it's crucial to understand that the addicted personality is NOT the person you knew. It's like a completely different person is pulling the strings in their head. The person you knew isn't really there right now, so old tactics and ways won't work. And while it's good that you were able to so drastically turn your life around it really isn't that easy. GeneralSpecific is right in that does sound remarkably condescending despite your intentions being altruistic and good. If you're interested in still helping, I highly encourage you to seek out the UK equivalent of Al-Anon, which is a support group for people with close friends who are alcoholics. Going to one or two sessions just to get some insight and ideas for how to approach this situation might be a good idea. I went to one for 2-3 sessions to help my cousin and understand her struggle better and I'm glad I did. Still, the best you can do is listen and support. Threats, bargaining, and attempts at motivation tend not to work. And you can choose how involved you want to get. What I learned from Al-Anon is that most of the time you can't fix the person. They have to fix it and want it themselves and while you can push them into rehab or those options if they don't want it they'll relapse in no time at all and jndo everything - I've watched cousins do this 2-3 times before hitting their own rock bottom and switching their lives around for the last time. The best we could do was listen and stop them from doing anything really brash

[QUOTE=Vaught;48598209]That's a very typical, albeit crappy, anxiety response. Nothing short of taking deep breaths and trying to isolate the anxiety-driving force from yourself. What exactly brought about this kind of anxiety, if you don't mind me asking?[/QUOTE] It was just thoughts of typical things like moving out, being on my own, growing up, etc... This happened to me a couple years ago but it was about death, knowing that one day my parents will be gone, things like that. This time it's not as bad but the feelings still sucks.

[QUOTE=D0C H.;48600514]She doesn't like it because they point out what she's doing wrong. Plus, she has so many issues, it wouldn't help anyways. She's scheduled for a therapist on the 9th. Been a two month waiting game to Just get her in. [editline]2nd September 2015[/editline] Just to add a splash of positivity, you can make it! Yes you. Remember, nothing is permanent. It might always seem that way, but your life can change for the better.[/QUOTE] Have you told her what you just posted, the positive bit I mean? [editline]2nd September 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=D0C H.;48600514]She doesn't like it because they point out what she's doing wrong. Plus, she has so many issues, it wouldn't help anyways. She's scheduled for a therapist on the 9th. Been a two month waiting game to Just get her in. [editline]2nd September 2015[/editline] Just to add a splash of positivity, you can make it! Yes you. Remember, nothing is permanent. It might always seem that way, but your life can change for the better.[/QUOTE] And not all counselors are the same, sometimes you gotta shop around and find 1 or two that you get along well with and can relate with. It's hard work and it takes time, but if you really want it, it's so worth it in the end.

I used too. But 2 and a half years of abuse while being told "I'll change" tends to take away the will to stay positive anymore. [editline]2nd September 2015[/editline] The counselor was great! She just doesn't compute when someone is telling her she's doing something wrong. It's just not acceptable that she ever does anything wrong. She's been hurt so much (before me) that its impossible for her to do wrong! Or at least that's how I imagine Her thought process goes. Example: I had a panic attack a while ago. She had attempted suicide a couple weeks before that, and I had just lost my job. Which was the only income for us and HER two kids. Plus our boy. So I was having a panic attack and she asks me "Why is it always about you?"

Got prescribed some Lorazepam today for my anxiety, hopefully it makes a difference. I'm still extremely depressed though and I hope the side-effects don't make it worse. Also going to probably see a psychiatrist in my area that apparently specializes in one of the things that makes me so sad with myself, just gotta get over the fact that I'm nervous of seeing a therapist.