Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;48882867]Take that attitude elsewhere, thank you.[/QUOTE] What attitude?

[QUOTE=Richoxen;48883486]What attitude?[/QUOTE] The kinda macho joke attitude, it's not really appropriate... not here... :v:

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;48882733]Still haven't eaten I think starving myself is my preferred method of self harm, I go to it the most often[/QUOTE] Same for me probably. I found it hard to eat even the thought of food made me sick. I found it was easier to eat if I got something that I really liked, for me the triple cheese baconator from wendys or some pizza. [editline]12th October 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=MrJazzy;48883502]The kinda macho joke attitude, it's not really appropriate... not here... :v:[/QUOTE] I wasn't joking.

Alright so you're not acting like an asshole then you just are one, that's reassuring.

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48883544]Alright so you're not acting like an asshole then you just are one, that's reassuring.[/QUOTE] I don't see how but I'll take your word for it.

[QUOTE=Richoxen;48883596]I don't see how but I'll take your word for it.[/QUOTE] Then what the heck did you mean by that original comment

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48883637]Then what the heck did you mean by that original comment[/QUOTE] That I would actually date a girl regardless of if she had tourettes.

[QUOTE=Richoxen;48883646]That I would actually date a girl regardless of if she had tourettes.[/QUOTE] Then drop the slurs (bitch) and try not to sound as objectifying next time I suppose

had an acid trip on Friday which managed to plant a question in my head which has bothered me a lot since then. the guy I was on the trip with kept asking me "what are we afraid of?" in response to us thinking cops were banging at our door, why would we be afraid of getting caught? whats the worst that could happen? are the consequences as bad as we think? this question has really followed me since then when thinking of why I'm so afraid of opening up, why I'm so afraid of everything I'm afraid of. mostly thinking of my social anxiety. I'm afraid of not being accepted by people, not being perfect in peoples eyes, afraid of being hated by anyone, etc. but, why am I? I've always wanted to be perfect in everyones eyes, but when I'm unable to really open up, have opinions, include myself in conversations, I just wind up being someone who isn't good or bad in anyones eyes. I'm just very, very neutral for everyone which is far from perfect. I want to be liked and seen as someone people want to be with, but when I can't do the things I mentioned I just wind up being someone boring. I've come to the conclusion that I can't be liked by everyone if I want to be liked by someone, but I'm still not feeling confident enough to open up properly. then the question "what am I afraid of?" pops up, what is bothering me? what's the worst that could happen if I were to open up?

I've realised that in order to build myself up, I have to pretty much destroy myself, so for the next few weeks I'll be watching/listening to/reading/thinking of everything that makes me cry, makes me break down and makes me melt down, and I guess, if I come through to the other side, I'll just have to see what it is that comes out the other side. I'm basically going to destroy everything of who I was, my personality, my generosity, my willingness to help others, and see what gets rebuilt.

i need a psychiatrist but have too much anxiety to call anyone.

Went for this Job trial and even though the task was something I've done many times before, I just froze, I got stressed out and couldn't concentrate, I had to turn down the job and still have no clue what was going on. I don't know why I couldn't concentrate or why I got stressed and freaked. I've got no idea what to type into google. Anyone got any clues about the cause?

[QUOTE=Vaught;48867844]Wait people can do that? Just put "other" for a reason for rejection? And here I thought the "Right to Work" thing here in the states was horse shit. I'm sorry that happened :c[/QUOTE] Follow up: Apparently the training provider phoned up and said I was given an offer on a part time basis (20 hours/week) as a result of my medication and the inability to work late nights. On one hand, I'm somewhat pleased that I actually got accepted(?), but I'm also a bit miffed that I was declined for "other" and now this came out of the blue. I'm also concerned that technically, apprenticeships are legally required to work for a minimum of 30 hours/week according to the [url=https://www.gov.uk/apprenticeships-guide/pay-and-conditions]National Apprenticeships Site[/url]. Maybe I'm missing something, maybe I'm not, I don't actually know enough.

just got kicked out of the ward for doing drugs on Friday lol

Any anxiety sufferers get intermittent and mild chest pain/discomfort/pressure particularly when breathing? I have had these symptoms along with dizziness, dry mouth, clammy, cold hands, shaking limbs etc. I'm worried sick since I think it's my heart, even though I've had an ECG done last time this happened and they said my heart is fine :\ I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow, just wanted to know if anyone else had had issues? It's okay most of the time, but going to school this morning made it so bad it was impossible to concentrate and gave me some memory loss. I've had anxiety for a while but it's only been like this twice. Just looking for some reassurance. Thanks <3

Those are fairly common things that happen to people with anxiety, the only harm it's doing to you is making you more anxious.

I get random chest pain too and apparently I breathe pretty hard a lot of the time, I don't even notice it. Anyone know what this is?

My anxiety likes to manifest itself as constant nausea, it's really unpleasant.

Honestly I constantly feel so dead inside that being actually dead wouldn't be any better by now I guess it's good I don't want to kill myself anymore, but I don't think it's very good the only reason is cause I already feel like a moving corpse

I just take a lot of xanax to sleep during each day. Too much headaches, no motivation, dead future. I never expected that when I was a kid.

Sometimes I just wish I could cry. I haven't had a good cry in years, even when I lost close family. But every time I get close I think about how good it would feel and then I lose the feeling and go back to the numbess.

I'm so worried about my ex girlfriend. I haven't heard anything from her all day. I've been calling and texting her but no answer. I just need to know she is okay. I hope she reads this and just lets me know she is okay. That's all I want to know even if she doesn't want to speak to me.

I wasn't meant to be alive this long, and everything is terrifying and stressful and lonely

Well, my depression doesn't seem to be coming back. I started taking bacopa extract a week and a bit ago and it's managed to do a 180 on my mood and ability to think. It's almost as if I'm hypomanic 24/7, but in a non-destructive way. Also I finally got myself a new job. Holy shit it's so good to get out of my last one.

-snip-

feeling pretty awful about yesterday. feel like I've disappointed everyone. my mother has struggled to work for a long time and she was just about to enter work again, but now she feels like she can't work due to what I did. it's stressing her out. I feel like my family has done so much for me, then I fuck it all up, get myself kicked out, and let everyone know that I've done drugs. not sure what I'm gonna do now. I've been given all the blame and so far I believe I'm the only one who was kicked out despite not being alone in this. I've been blamed for introducing others to drugs when they're fairly experienced with them themselves, so I don't feel like I've introduced anyone to anything. in my own view, I feel it was a pretty nasty thing to rat me out like that. I'm not 100% sure who might have done it, but I have a feeling who it is. just don't know for sure. in the end I did break the house rules so I'm kind of the bad guy here, but man was it necessary for him to involve himself and fuck me over for doing something that only affected me? ugh I feel like I should act quickly and ensure I don't start isolating myself, but I feel like I need a little break. don't know where to really begin though.

I need a new bed. I also need new pillows and a new cover but mostly a new bed or matress atleast. I think I've realized one of the biggest reason behind my terrible sleep is my bed. I'm pretty sure I'll still have troubles falling asleep even with a new bed, but I believe that the reason I wake up every 2-3 hours is because of the bed. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know.

I slept the best sleeps in my life when I slept on the bed springs with no mattress in-between Couldn't keep doing it since other people were convinced that it was unhealthy and it was apparently also really noisy

[QUOTE=~Kiwi~v2;48891829]words[/QUOTE] Just be careful not to get stuck in any shit job they throw your way. Every time I went to winz they either wanted me to do factory work for horrible pay or send me off to some bootcamp thing to learn "real world skills".

you know what, ironically enough, cheers me up? when people try doing that "you should just kill yourself, you're pretty worthless" sort of talk. it's because they think it legit bothers me but i can make an instant judgement on this person and immediately disregard this "advice". it's like an alternate form of "you mad bro?" i find it funny because they've basically forfeited any defense they could have had. no i'm not going to kill myself because you think i'm worthless and no i'm not going to let your pestering get to me, but you're probably going to interpret me blocking you and reporting your steam profile for harassment as a form of angry backlash. nah bro this is due process, enjoy your ban from steam community features.