Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

I am going to comit suicide by drinking my self to death

Losing weight will make you feel better about yourself. (Captain obvious here/general weight loss advice: but this stuff has been working for me I'm nearly at my goal weight. 8-10 more lbs left to lose.) Do loads of cardio, running is good, do a mile every day. Cut out carbs, replace everything bad in your diet with straight up spinach and lettuce (any vegetable will work) Be super strict and build up will power by looking at pictures of food porn and forcefully making yourself refuse to eat stuff like that. Chicken/turkey/fish=good. Any other meat try to avoid it. Calorie counting is annoying af but my rule is: "if its not a vegetable, water, or fruit, count calories" [editline]20th October 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Crpto2007;48947188]I am going to comit suicide by drinking my self to death[/QUOTE] [B]Stop whatever it is you're doing and go take a nap. [/B] Also you'll most likely pass out by drinking if anything. Look I don't even know you, I'm just some random ass chick from butt-fuck nowhere america. So forgive me if this sounds cliche. [B]You're stuck in a bad place right now, as unhealthy as this sounds: sleep the problem away. Totally distract yourself from your "urges" and think of a way to fix your life instead of tossing it in the trash.[/B]

Nah I kinda want to die. I'll just keep drinking until I pass out. This is the only way I'll be happy if I'm gone for good

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;48947278]Nah I kinda want to die. I'll just keep drinking until I pass out. This is the only way I'll be happy if I'm gone for good[/QUOTE] Alright I can't stop you, you're just some person online and I have no control over you. so I can just say this: If you're gonna get drunk try do it with a positive attitude. Go watch some ytps or something funny.

[url]http://steamcommunity.com/groups/cheersng[/url] Join the group guys! [editline]21st October 2015[/editline] why not Noi? :c

[QUOTE=Noi;48947716]I'm trying to have less of steam and videogames in my life.[/QUOTE] That's fine, but it's not all for games, the goal is to get a small community going so that if people need to talk it'll be easy to just find somebody who is on or vent in the group chat or whatever. Really just the social aspect first rather than the gaming aspect!

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48947741]That's fine, but it's not all for games, the goal is to get a small community going so that if people need to talk it'll be easy to just find somebody who is on or vent in the group chat or whatever. Really just the social aspect first rather than the gaming aspect![/QUOTE] I have enough people to vent online to. It's to the point where I'm tired of talking to people about it.

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;48947857]I have enough people to vent online to. It's to the point where I'm tired of talking to people about it.[/QUOTE] Very well, no need to feel like you have to justify not joining.

It's all in good spirit. Sometimes having a new set of people to talk to or just to distract yourself from stuff is good, ya know?

So now I have no wants at all, no positive feelings, just a big pit of emptyness inside me that hasn't filled, just what the fuck am I meant to do. I lost my future, my hopes and my dreams and it just isnt getting better.

[QUOTE=Yahnich;48948233]i started a little booklet and every time i smile i write down what made me smile; day 1 i got 4 things and i'm not sure if that's a good or a bad[/QUOTE] Even one thing like that is good.

i am so happy right now. Tomorrow i am having myself committed. I told my mom I wanted to go to the hospital. I am finally going to get the help i need. [editline]21st October 2015[/editline] I am finally going to find out what the fuck is wrong with me

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;48948813]i am so happy right now. Tomorrow i am having myself committed. I told my mom I wanted to go to the hospital. I am finally going to get the help i need. [editline]21st October 2015[/editline] I am finally going to find out what the fuck is wrong with me[/QUOTE] This is gonna sound weird coming from a random online dude, but I'm proud of you. Seeing you go from being in basically a pit to being on your way to getting help must make you feel awesome. Now if only I could get help, I'm not messed up enough to get committed.

[QUOTE=Fort83;48948636]I don't usually post in here but been struggling a lot lately. All I've ever wanted to do was join the military. Ever since I was young I knew I wanted that. But instead of going that route after high school I decided to do other college programs to please other people. And dropping out of every single one. Never had a job for more than a couple months and now I am 24 back home living with my folks after living out west for a year and a half. I still want to do the military, but have a number of health issues that I feel will hold me back. I get sick often, doesn't seem to matter what I eat I'll just get sick. It holds me back from getting in better shape, or being more outgoing or ambitious. I went to the doctor to talk about it to see if he knew what could be causing it. He laughed while I was telling him what was wrong and then gave me a nothing answer "Go search online and research what to avoid". Makes me feel like shit that he would do that, the one person I was hoping would be able to help me figure what's wrong. And he just laughs at me. I'm a failure to my parents I know. My brother is very successful, and I'm just here floating along and don't have the motivation to do something about it now. I know I'm depressed. And to be honest I think about suicide more and more these days. I just don't know what to do anymore.[/QUOTE]Try to find a new doctor as soon as possible. You don't need to take lazy advice from some asshole just because he has a medical degree. People like that deserve no part in your life.

Last month some personnel from college scared our class into selling lotto tickets. The guy basically made me feel like it was our duty to support the university, only three people from the class (including me) accepted to sell two tickets. So yesterday I sold one and asked in our WhatsApp group when was the deadline for turning in the money from the tickets (I lost the little paper they gave us with the information), a bunch of dudes said "Wait, you didn't sell them?.. They will charge you for them next semmester". Now, I have problems with money at home. If it wasn't because of the scholarship I got from my grades in HS, I wouldn't even be at college, still, I'm not doing very good in this 1st semester (I entered an advanced program, everyone is doing awful, but you cannot do awful when you can barely afford college), back on topic, I have problems with money at home and I'm pretty much fucked if the uni decides to charge more money for this kind of stuff. I got worried, told my family about it. I go to class and the bunch of dudes laughs at me because I ate their shitty story and how I am an idiot because I thought the deadline was yesterday, turns out none of them got tickets, they had no idea when the deadline was. Fuck those people and fuck me for losing that paper. At the least the cashiers told me I still have a month to pay it. It does not help I have been feeling depressed ever since I started. I have been this close to skip the class and stay at home due to how terrible I feel, but I try to hande it and go, glad I haven't missed a single class ever since the semester started.

I really love the idea of a steam group, I hope it becomes active :D

Nothing is fun anymore

anyone else here enjoy retail work because the constant logistics and productivity mutes shit feelings lol

-Snip-

block them on every chat / whatever they try to approach you on

-Snip-

[QUOTE=Secrios;48950068][/QUOTE] It's probably almost impossible to stop someone from observing stuff you do on the internet apart from setting all profiles to friends-only / private. I can't really think of anything but just ignoring it and trying to get it out of your mind, if they can't contact you you won't really know what they're doing. Unless that's what bothers you in the first place.

Reading this thread makes me glad there are decent people on this planet, it seems like people are always shitty to eachother, the real problem is that they don't understand humanity, they don't understand what kind of creature they are, don't get the big picture. Depression makes me see myself different, makes me self loath, not eat, it makes me feel like I don't deserve any of it, when coming out of one of these repressive stages though, I realize that it's those who impact us in a negative type of way, they don't want to know you have the problem, they don't care, they just want you to bother them less and will make you feel terrible about yourself in order for you to leave them alone. FUCK THOSE PEOPLE. Seriously, I was badly neglected then forced to take meds that I never needed for five years, for issues caused by the ones who made me take them. They then refused any of it happened so they don't feel bad about them self. There was a lot of mayhem going on during this time, so they ended up realizing nothing about me and continued their atrocity. Fuck what they think now. They really just don't want to deal with it, so I tell my GF and she takes my side. It helps so much to have someone saying good things about you. when you have those people in your life, go to the ones who motivate you and make you feel positive, whomever it may be. The ones that repress you, don't let them affect you, tell them to fuck off if you have to. Get a friend to stand with you and express the feelings that were forced into you, because no matter what, It is not worth being depressed because people want to behave like shit to eachother, make them realize they are wrong and you will feel like you are so right, that you don't need this depression, suddenly the ones who negatively impacted you have NO power over you, and they know it, they hate it, proving them wrong is such a great feeling, knowing you have power in the situation makes you feel them trying to put you back into the place you were before, and at that moment you tell them they aren't gonna fucking bring you down, then storm them with the shitty horrible things they did to cause the issue. They made you feel like shit so here's the revival. I hope I helped for people who have this type of depression, if someone is bringing you down punch the motherfucker before they get the chance to make your mind that way again. Someone who has repressed you and caused depression is ALWAYS WRONG because THEY had the power to repress you, no matter their excuse, no matter their beating around the bush, they forced a mental illness to take effect on you, make them fucking know no matter what, and be angry at them, especially if there was points where you tried to reach out and solve the problem. There is no excuse for them if they made you depressed, it takes a lot of shit from another person to cause this mental illness. The best thing you can possibly do is to become successful, make money wherever your niche may be (everyone has one,) then once you have all that success, the next time that person(s) sees you they will be reminded of how you PROVED THEIR ASS WRONG, and now you are fucking doing great because of what you didn't let them do anymore.

just finished my first session at the gym, my muscles feel all wobbly now. here's to hoping I'll be able to keep this going until I have the body I want! I'm sure this'll boost my confidence a ton as well, might be a cure to me over analyzing everything?

while listening to the discovery playlist on Spotify a song which sounds really familiar to the kind of music I used to dig 3-4 years ago decided to pop up. really makes me regret a few things. I regret getting together with my girlfriend at the time, I feel like I could have instead spent time with friends. I isolated me and her so much, it'd have been better for us both if we just kept building social relations than to destroy them. I regret not spending more time with the girl who have brought me back into the warmth of being social again now recently, I got to know her 5 years ago. I regret isolating myself from a whole new range of friends in 2013 when I was still recovering from heart break. they liked me so much, I should have gotten to know them better. they were there for me. I regret not being able to keep up contact with the group of people I am with now exactly one year ago. I have lost an entire year I could have used to integrate myself with them and getting to know them again. I really hope this is the last time I'm separated from a social life. I need it. [editline]21st October 2015[/editline] I can't wait until the weekend. I'm gonna join the two girls I've spent time with the last few weeks and another person I know from 2013 to the cinema! hopefully I can connect some with this other person, maybe further build social relations. perhaps all I need is patience? I need to stop rushing things, I have all the time in the world. getting fit? it's gonna take time. building a social circle? that too is gonna take some time. [editline]21st October 2015[/editline] it's kind of insane how long it takes to build yourself up after getting mentally ill

I really miss being able to be alone, without having to have a phone and the internet and be signed up to a million different accounts and have to view spoilers every god damn day because people can't restrain themselves, undoubtedly spied on by some government because we're all being spied on at least a little bit I'm sure, when I could consume media by having a machine and a physical copy of it in my room alone and that's all I needed, didn't need some bullshit digital DRM service,, when the internet was a fun option and not a necessity I miss being able to really, really be alone, and not connected to the entire world 24/7 and not having to be contactable at a moment's notice at all times I don't know what it is, I just don't want to have to be on the internet and have a fucking cable subscription, I don't want friends, I don't want people to know me, I just want to be alone

So the other night I was supposed to go to a study group, and I remembered that I had agreed to go about five minutes after it started. I flew into a self-hate rage. I'm actually really glad that in the process I had an extreme panic attack, the kind that makes you freeze up and have no motor control whatsoever, because if I hadn't I would be dead. I'm really scared, I'm realizing that I only maintain any composure because I stay at home all day every day and nothing ever happens to me. I'm terrified about what would have happened if something bad had actually happened to me. I feel like in that situation I might just kill myself immediately. I don't care about my own life, and the only person that does is over two hundred miles away. Any negative emotion, any at all, makes me want nothing but to kill myself as painfully as I can imagine. [editline]21st October 2015[/editline] It's kind of funny. You always hear depressed people in movies or tv shows or whatever say "nothing really matters" but I'm now actually feeling that. I can't get any work done, no leisure activities are fun, and nothing is fulfilling at all. Even sleep has lost its allure, I always feel the same waking up as I do going to bed and I don't get any rest from it. I wake up every fifteen minutes during the night. [editline]21st October 2015[/editline] I need to get help really badly but there's nothing available in my area. Just fucking nothing. Lovely.

I find myself wanting to turn off all my electronics if not smash them, turn everything off and walk away and clear out my closet and sit in it with a lamp and close the door and just sit for as long as I can alone or to gather what I can and walk out the door and go homeless and just walk as far as I can walk until I find myself on the coast or dead I don't care, I don't mind being hungry, I don't mind being cold, I don't want any more of anything in my life, I want to leave and be alone and forget who I am

nothing like waking up at 5:30 with back pain [editline]21st October 2015[/editline] i sure love feeling like igor when making coffee

I've been thinking more and more about suicide, but I'll never do it. I just wish that I could be living as someone else other than me right now...