Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

Any ways to cope with intrusive thoughts?

[QUOTE=pdp;48999096]Any ways to cope with intrusive thoughts?[/QUOTE] I usually drown my negative thoughts out with music.

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;48999045]there's a special layer of shame and embarassment to sex based depression that makes it even harder to talk about it to others[/QUOTE] Sex based depression?

I have lost almost 10 kg in the last couple of months, I'm at my lowest weight in years cause I'm not eating enough. I've always been a very, very picky eater and when I get hungry I'm only hungry for a bit until it becomes more of a nauesous feeling which makes me want to do the opposite of eating :v:

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;49000199]Sex based depression?[/QUOTE] Happens to me as well, not having sex can lead to it as it's programmed in your brain to do it. It's one of those old animals things that you must mate kinda like how penguins are. Only difference is we don't have to follow it. The solution is easy though fap and relieve all that sexual frustration. As that fixes it if it's only related to no sex. [editline]28th October 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=pdp;48999096]Any ways to cope with intrusive thoughts?[/QUOTE] Mantra and meditation, as well as being medicated if you have a disorder causing it. I just repeat I don't give a fuck in my head every time I get them, They don't show up well my ADHD meds are working though.

[QUOTE=DELL;49000743]The solution is easy though fap and relieve all that sexual frustration. As that fixes it if it's only related to no sex.[/QUOTE] that helps me for like 5 minutes :rollout:

Haven't worked up the mental energy to go to my modern art class in a while and as a result, I'm failing because she gives out assignments in class. She hasn't entered in the grade for my written essay so that might boost it a bit, but still. Trying to force myself to go is literally the worst and I hate it and I kinda wish I didn't take this class this semester but I had to. I'm hoping I can pull out a passing grade before the semester is over because if I have to retake it I'm gonna be very upset. [editline]28th October 2015[/editline] Worst part is, I know I could be passing with like a high B or low A if I had just gone to class.

[QUOTE=fear me;49001485]that helps me for like 5 minutes :rollout:[/QUOTE] You've got more problems adding into it or you need more stimulation. Women(Or men if that's your thing) who cam are good for that because you can talk to them and it builds up over time, plus you make friends. You can also try sex toys as they feel closer to the real thing compared to your hand. [editline]28th October 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Pascall;49001695]Haven't worked up the mental energy to go to my modern art class in a while and as a result, I'm failing because she gives out assignments in class. She hasn't entered in the grade for my written essay so that might boost it a bit, but still. Trying to force myself to go is literally the worst and I hate it and I kinda wish I didn't take this class this semester but I had to. I'm hoping I can pull out a passing grade before the semester is over because if I have to retake it I'm gonna be very upset. [editline]28th October 2015[/editline] Worst part is, I know I could be passing with like a high B or low A if I had just gone to class.[/QUOTE] Do something before that will get you through, sometimes you just got to do the things you don't like. Try a energy drink before you go or fap. Just find something that helps you get through and do it, just over do it.

I was going to kill myself on halloween but people keep interfering grr

Energy drinks fuck with my heart rhythm and give me palpitations and I'm not a big fapper. :v But I get what you're saying. And that's what I try to do. I'm great at going to my photo class because it's a small class and she'll notice that I'm gone but not going to my modern art class is just super tempting because there's 100 people in here and one person missing doesn't matter. Gonna do my best to keep going though. I already have to miss every Friday class because of work, so missing Monday and Wednesday too is hurting me.

I can't get my wife's past out of my head. Images poison my mind. I can't stop it. It's making me just want to drink to make it stop. I don't know what to do.

[QUOTE=Pascall;49001884]Energy drinks fuck with my heart rhythm and give me palpitations and I'm not a big fapper. :v[/QUOTE] think he confused us :v:

[QUOTE=fear me;49002880]think he confused us :v:[/QUOTE] Naw, I do both of those things for when I have to do something I don't want to do.

Energy drinks get me cracked out since I don't take sugar in anything. Coffee is definitely my drug. Increases the levels of dopamine in the brain which makes me a bit more upbeat/cheerful.

iirc when I was younger being on a sugar high made me completely fucking loopy Like I literally couldn't stop talking or otherwise making audio with my face hole

I hate how much of a useless false hope cycle I've locked myself into. I always feel like I'm improving or I'm heading somewhere new and better, but I never am. One day I'm going to kill myself tomorrow, the next day I'm not going to and I'm going to get help, the next day I'm going to kill myself, repeat. Nothing ever changes and I'll never get help this way. I need someone to just force me to do it but I have no irl friends who care enough.

[QUOTE=Joccy;48998722]Sometimes I feel like I'm incapable of carrying a relationship. Whether that would be a friendship, or any kind of romantic relationship. Sometimes I feel incompatible being with them, or just feel mentally drained that causes myself to isolate myself from them for a while or second guessing their feelings towards me constantly. This makes me want to cut off contact with all of them just so I can be alone and they wouldn't have to put up with me anymore. I know I won't though because I'm too much of a coward, but the thought alone that I could just break off contact with someone is so simple and almost tangible. [sp]besides i'd probably miss them all after a few days after feeling like shit[/sp][/QUOTE] same tbh

Tbh I'm just happy I'm making any progress at all with my life, even if its slow. Starting with physical body improvement, health improvement, and meditating on what I want out of life. The day I get a job I'll be less down-in-the-dumps and I can get things really into gear instead of just chipping away at stuff slowly.

I wish I was more comfortable socially. I can maintain a conversation that someone else has brought up without being weird so at least I have that, but I'm not able to bring up conversation topics, make jokes, and so on. whenever I'm social, I'm quiet until someone starts talking to me which I respond to and maybe get a conversation out of, but as soon as it dies down, I return to being quiet. I might also participate in someone elses joke if I can, but then again, it only happens if someone else starts it. I suppose I'm just really bad at taking the initiative. if I want to meet up with someone, I never ask, I always wait until I'm invited. and as said, I have a hard time of starting conversation topics. starting anything up really never happens from me. I imagine this comes from me being afraid of bringing up awkward things, me not knowing what is normal, inappropriate things, etc. nothing really strikes me in these situations though, I don't really have anything I could participate with to begin with. [editline]29th October 2015[/editline] which reminds me of a situation which happened last, last weekend when I was at this "mini party" with a few people I knew from years back. I was talking to the girl I knew the best, who was also hosting, about buying pizza etc. she said I could buy one of the pizzas as the others had spent some money themselves which I agreed to. I remember voicing my opinion that I didn't like pineapple on pizza just to make them aware of that, and I remember that it was very uncomfortable. sharing a piece of information about me was really scary. I was scared that she liked it so we would have conflicting opinions, therefore making her look at me in a different view, perhaps view me as less than before. it's really stupid thinking back at it, but it's insane how uncomfortable I get when I share little pieces about myself. I don't mind telling people I've been thrown out of a mental hospital and done drugs which might be even worse to share, but these aren't opinions. these are facts about what I have done and what has happened to me. I don't mind sharing that stuff, but sharing what I like and don't like on pizza becomes subjective which is what I don't like.

so is there any actual way to get mental health care in the US that won't put me into debt for the rest of my life? [editline]29th October 2015[/editline] ive pretty much figured out that i definitely need help i do stupid fucking shit when im going to lose someone close to me such as decide to best course of action if theyre leaving me is to punch them in the face or to insult them by saying they're the reason their friend killed themselves 10 years ago or something fucking stupid like that i need some fucking help, i dont know why i do these things [editline]29th October 2015[/editline] what kind of sane person says "well if this is how you treat everyone who's chronically depressed, no wonder your friend killed himself however many years ago. you just punish them for being sad." like seriously I'm a fucking psycho or something. maybe ive just deluded myself into thinking I have real emotions. i dont know.

Depends on your insurance, probably yes. Many insurances cover it, and mediCal does.

If you're currently going to school, most high schools and colleges have free mental health services. I had to resort to visiting my college therapists due to lack of funds and honestly it was a great idea. They also offer group sessions. Do some research and find out~

So I've learnt a lot about myself in the past week. Turns out that I have the anxiety attacks I've been pretending I dont. It's been a long week of education and social going bad places. I've learnt more about myself and how I react to things in the past week than the past year. I'm just hoping I can remember these the next time it happens. On the social side of things i found out why my friends were my friends and what they meant to me. You'd think that chirping each other all the time would be bad for social anxiety but I've found the sarcastic outlook I've achieved on life really makes the difference. Who gives a fuck who you are and what you do, if you're having a good time doing what you love to do you're impressing enough as is. Which brings me to why I had forgotten why I had stopped trying to date but re learned it the hard way. I realised that there is actually truth to the nice guys finish last school of thought. It's not that being nice is bad, but checking yourself constantly to be the nicest you can just fucks with your confidence. You end up feeling like shit and you'll look like shit in the end too. I try so hard not to lose someone that I lost myself and what makes me me. University is an amazing experience that brings you into contact with some of the most amazing and successful people you'll ever meet. Just last week I met someone who showed me his $200 000 worth of stocks. I've met people with twice the dedication to school and 3 times the intelligence. It's cool and all but you can't compare yourself to others. You gotta remember its not a competition to be in the top, but a test to find out where youll slot into society and if you can prove and improve yourself along the way. I'm hoping that after all this I can find a way to get back into doing the things I love. Sailing season may be over but I'm hoping I get some time to work on my car and relax in the coming weeks. I'm a sarcastic ass from Nova Scotia living my life as I go. Which brings me to my questions for you bys and gals who have known your limit with this shit for a while. Is there a good way to tell people you meet that you get really weird when stressed? I think I mightve scared some friends of mine and I don't know if they'll understand what the anxiety does. Is there any way to predict coming anxiety? I kinda got hit outta the blue with my brain thoughts locking down. Is there any tricks you guys use to combat the attacks? I seem to find that thinking how ridiculous I sound helps temporarily, but then just leads to more confidence collapse. What are good foods to eat during the stomach pains? I've found that I just want fat unhealthy easy to eat shit, but with acid reflux that doesn't end well. I'm coming out of an almost weeklong anxiety experience and I want to know, is partying down afterwards alright? I'm feeling way better about myself now but I don't want to re stress if drinking will cause that. Sorry if the post sounds cocky too, but I'm making it to admit my problems and help rebuild my confidence. I don't feel like putting that on my new friends just yet

[QUOTE=Pascall;49011147]If you're currently going to school, most high schools and colleges have free mental health services. I had to resort to visiting my college therapists due to lack of funds and honestly it was a great idea. They also offer group sessions. Do some research and find out~[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=D0C H.;49011126]Depends on your insurance, probably yes. Many insurances cover it, and mediCal does.[/QUOTE] no insurance, not going to school currently, don't have a job at this moment [editline]29th October 2015[/editline] even when I had a job they put off giving me actual insurance until November anyway - of course I lost the job in late September because I was late 1 too many times despite many assurances from my manager that it wasn't a huge deal. (it's hard to be on time when you walk 4-5 miles to work everyday) [editline]29th October 2015[/editline] i already have an $800 medical bill that I can't pay from having the doctor look at a cyst on my arm, and told me there's nothing that can be done and sent me on my way

I have a hard time making friends. People just seem disinterested in what I have to say.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49010111]Tbh I'm just happy I'm making any progress at all with my life, even if its slow. Starting with physical body improvement, health improvement, and meditating on what I want out of life. The day I get a job I'll be less down-in-the-dumps and I can get things really into gear instead of just chipping away at stuff slowly.[/QUOTE] Small sustained improvements work so much better. Setting big benchmarks usually leads to missing them, and the emotional surge from missing these repeatedly is a vicious cycle. I've just recently [URL="https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1488711&p=49011416&viewfull=1#post49011416"]broken out of it[/URL] and learning to set realistic goals is still tough. Dealing with the emotions is tough too. Mindfullness meditation has really helped me though. I recommend it. Its easy and doesn't require a lot of time or any equipment- just for you to relax and be mindful of what you think and how you feel in a given moment.

[QUOTE=Lyokanthrope;49011175]no insurance, not going to school currently, don't have a job at this moment [editline]29th October 2015[/editline] even when I had a job they put off giving me actual insurance until November anyway - of course I lost the job in late September because I was late 1 too many times despite many assurances from my manager that it wasn't a huge deal. (it's hard to be on time when you walk 4-5 miles to work everyday) [editline]29th October 2015[/editline] i already have an $800 medical bill that I can't pay from having the doctor look at a cyst on my arm, and told me there's nothing that can be done and sent me on my way[/QUOTE] Can you apply for mediCal? (Ps, I hate our health care system)

I live in Pennsylvania and I assume mediCal is some kind of California state medical welfare thing? I think I might be eligible for whatever we have in the US but it's hard to tell when the site that tells you the qualifications is [I]fucking down for maintenance all the time[/I]

Yeah, I think the country has medical coverage if you fall below a certain income bracket. Which you probably do. They can be pretty high sometimes, which can be helpful. And yeah, like I said, healthcare and all the crap that comes with trying to get it just sucks. But keep looking into it. Your state probably has something. I wish you luck.

If MediCal covers this sort of thing then this is the first I've heard of it I hope it's true