Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

Can't stop abusing meds, painkillers to get in a better mood and you know, to vanish suicidal ideas for a while. I think the day I'll be on my own, someone will find me dead from OD.

It's true. Mental health is covered! My wife is getting treatment right now with it. We have CalViva [editline]29th October 2015[/editline] [url]http://www.calvivahealth.org/sites/default/files/13-545%20Final%20Mental%20Health%20Services%20and%20Medi-Cal%20PA%20Requirements%20CalViva%20.pdf[/url]

My girlfriend is having a shitty time with her roommate, and feels guilty because of some stuff that she unintentionally did to me (wasn't intention, and neither of us saw what she did coming). Any advice on what to say to her, I know I'm a bit vague but anything helps at this point.

i cant stop eating goddammit

i'm pretty upset at the existence of martin shkreli. one of the worst humans alive and his quality of life is higher than anything i will ever experience.

I can't keep up with controlling my toxoplasmosis. Random bursts of inflammation in my eye and then horrible mood and neck pains and it's driving me insane. I want to accomplish things and make changes in my life but everything goes to shit on a whim. Might go back to the doctor and get them to try treating me again, or at least take a look at my eye. Maybe then they'll realise it's worse than they think. I don't know. Fuck. I sure can't keep living like this anyway.

[QUOTE=Lyokanthrope;49012071]I live in Pennsylvania and I assume mediCal is some kind of California state medical welfare thing? I think I might be eligible for whatever we have in the US but it's hard to tell when the site that tells you the qualifications is [I]fucking down for maintenance all the time[/I][/QUOTE] I'm on government medicare currently, in PA, and I know I'm covered for chiropractic treatment. Chances are they cover mental health, too.

[QUOTE=pdp;49014037]i'm pretty upset at the existence of martin shkreli. one of the worst humans alive and his quality of life is higher than anything i will ever experience.[/QUOTE] [img]https://fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net/safe_image.php?d=AQAY9qr4e158410u&w=470&h=246&url=http%3A%2F%2Fim.ft-static.com%2Fcontent%2Fimages%2F8ba2a9f3-845c-4698-a6ba-5640dae84a24.img&cfs=1&upscale=1&sx=0&sy=8&sw=600&sh=314[/img] I'd like to point out, this is a picture you get when you google his name, and he is, I'm fairly certain, being lit by a spotlight. Now it's pretty obvious anyway from how this is set up, but what this means is that this is 100 percent definitely a professionally taken photo. That means that he planned this shot, picked this lighting, [I]paid for this,[/I] and saw the result, and honestly went, yes, this is the picture I want of me. LOOK AT HOW FUCKING EVIL THIS PICTURE IS AND HE THOUGHT IT WAS GREAT :v:

I was on live national radio on thursday and stumbled on my words only once and didn't have a single panic attack it was p nice

why were you live on radio :o

[QUOTE=kijji;49016830]why were you live on radio :o[/QUOTE] it was a kind of general media class for disenfranchised teens and shit which I'm attending for a month they do a weekly radio show on thursdays and it was p fun despite me stumbling on my words once it went really well, even the mixer guy told I have a p good radio voice which made me feel a bit nice

i feel dead again

Does anyone know the lethal amount of helium to ingest? I found out they sell tanks at my work.

yeah hi [URL="https://facepunch.com/member.php?u=237666"]sandperson[/URL] is really freaking me out and I'm really worried about her but i don't know how to help i don't know what to do :cry:

[QUOTE=Ridley;49019178]Does anyone know the lethal amount of helium to ingest? I found out they sell tanks at my work.[/QUOTE] Why on earth would do you want to do that? You'd probably pass out before it kills you. Don't do it, you're just in a bad spot right now.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49019316]Why on earth would do you want to do that? You'd probably pass out before it kills you. Don't do it, you're just in a bad spot right now.[/QUOTE] Isn't that the point? Totally painless, no suffocating or panic.

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post something so minor, but does anybody else feel like garbage sometimes, just whenever? I can just be talking to some friends online and then suddenly I feel like the most pathetic person in the world, and that nobody wants to be around me and that they're just putting up with me because I showed up. Sometimes I think it's just me overreacting but sometimes I just feel really worthless and can't do anything about it.

I went out to a party tonight and no one noticed my haircut or really was nice to me. Or talked to me. And I heard two "friends" saying this is why they stopped inviting me. Another group of random people were making fun of how I looked and how I acted. It's rough. Walking home through pouring rain felt like a dramatic movie, haha. It's really rough though, I'm trying so hard to improve my academic and social lives but it feels like two steps backward one forward. I have problems with social stuff, tbh. I never really fit in no matter where I moved and always got told I talk too much. That and kids knew it was easy to make me cry so they'd do it since it was funny. And tell me I don't have any friends and shit. I don't think people realize how hard that affects you, especially when you move a bunch of places and it happens everywhere you go. Every fresh start turns into a repeat, and college is starting to feel the same. It's my responsibility to deal with these problems, but I don't think I gave them to myself. So tbh, and I have to say this or be vulnerable like this, I'm crying myself to sleep for the Nth time this month. It's been really hard. And both guys I thought I had a chance with on tinder stopped talking to me and no new matches. [editline]31st October 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Omniary;49019899]I'm not sure if this is the right place to post something so minor, but does anybody else feel like garbage sometimes, just whenever? I can just be talking to some friends online and then suddenly I feel like the most pathetic person in the world, and that nobody wants to be around me and that they're just putting up with me because I showed up. Sometimes I think it's just me overreacting but sometimes I just feel really worthless and can't do anything about it.[/QUOTE] Depressive spells can happen without any noticeable triggers. How do they make you feel? Sad? Lonely? Apathetic? I'd bring it up to someone, or identify what triggers them if you can. Depression and emotional struggles are no pissing contest. It's all relative, so don't feel petty. Keeping the perspective in mind is healthy, but don't do it so much you devalue and bury your own problems, yeah? [editline]31st October 2015[/editline] I haven't posted here in a while- mostly because I've been avoiding social situations and focusing on academics. I remember why I did that. I don't want to clutter gay chat with more of my verbose stories and griping, either

[QUOTE=Yahnich;49020319]there is no lethal dose, you die painfully and cruelly, gasping for air you cannot get, your lungs will be on fire as your body slowly dies no matter how bad your situation seems, like everything else it will eventually pass[/QUOTE] Actually the body cannot distinguish helium from oxygen. You feel no pain and using the helium mask and tank method you are unconscious within ten seconds or so without feeling anything and you are dead within a few minutes. It's a common method of self-euthanasia. That does not mean this is an advisable thing to do and you should speak to someone about this immediately. Such a procedure is usually used by terminal patients with nothing left to live for but pure pain, and forgive me but I doubt that is the case with you.

So i got in a really heavy argument with my dad and i went into my room and he heard me spit.He said that if i'd do it again he'd beat the fucking face out of me and i was really tempted to do it tbh.

[QUOTE=Zezibesh;49016769]I was on live national radio on thursday and stumbled on my words only once and didn't have a single panic attack it was p nice[/QUOTE] I find it weird how I handle public speaking so much better than like, to one or two people.

I got over my depression, was doing great. Made friends and we hung out at Chipotle then we all spent the night at one of our houses. Now I come home the next day and I feel worthless. Like nothing I can or will do matters. What is wrong with me I just had an awesome time...

I spent the whole day with my mom & brother, doing things I enjoy the entire time. My airsoftgun I ordered arrived, my brother & I played Splatoon, we had good food etc., but I had this constant feeling that I was ungrateful for all the things I had & Im now having a strong sense of guilt. I always feel like that when doing things I enjoy, & it pretty much ruins everything.

I met up with an internet friend who lived about an hour away from me for the first time ever. It was super fun, we walked around town and got some pizza. (I said "fuck it" to my diet for today, because you gotta live a little.) My legs are sore from walking around town all day. It's great that I got to get out of the house and hang out with someone. Speaking of which, seriously people, go for a walk outside or call up a friend and make plans. Socializing helps sometimes...

[QUOTE=thelurker1234;49022946]I find it weird how I handle public speaking so much better than like, to one or two people.[/QUOTE] I'm the exact opposite. You are indeed weird, at least to me. [editline]1st November 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=IJNOMED;49024538]I met up with an internet friend who lived about an hour away from me for the first time ever. It was super fun, we walked around town and got some pizza. (I said "fuck it" to my diet for today, because you gotta live a little.) My legs are sore from walking around town all day. It's great that I got to get out of the house and hang out with someone. Speaking of which, seriously people, go for a walk outside or call up a friend and make plans. Socializing helps sometimes...[/QUOTE] I got an online friend who lives 8 hours from me. I've known him for over 8 years now, but I still haven't met him yet. You're pretty lucky.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49024538] Speaking of which, seriously people, go for a walk outside or call up a friend and make plans. Socializing helps sometimes...[/QUOTE] I feel that this is a major contribution to why I feel like shit almost every day. I try to contact and get plans with the few friends I have in real life but they never seem to care or ever try to contact me back. They never act mean or ignorant towards me otherwise though. So sometimes I feel like they just dont care. I havent posted here before, but I felt like maybe I should have for once. Currently feeling like the most shit I've felt in a long time, and I don't know what to do about it. I feel completely lost.

This feels really whiny and petty to complain about but it's just been bothering me a lot lately for some reason. I'm feeling really lonely and there's just been a complete lack of intimacy in my life. I honestly think that having my first kiss was one of the worst things that could've happened to me at this point in my life because I've been craving that feeling nonstop I miss affectionate touch so much and I feel like I'm never going to get to experience it again [sp]sorry I'll stop angsting now[/sp]

[QUOTE=Ax3l;49025147]I feel that this is a major contribution to why I feel like shit almost every day. I try to contact and get plans with the few friends I have in real life but they never seem to care or ever try to contact me back. They never act mean or ignorant towards me otherwise though. So sometimes I feel like they just dont care. I havent posted here before, but I felt like maybe I should have for once. Currently feeling like the most shit I've felt in a long time, and I don't know what to do about it. I feel completely lost.[/QUOTE] I've found that just doing something during the day helps more than expected. after I starting working out at the gym, I've become less stressed and frustrated over not being able to socialize. I still need to socialize but just doing whatever helps you feel like you're still alive. getting out to town and taking the train to go to the gym. just seeing people feels great since you feel like you're part of society again. I don't know your situation, but I might appreciate it more considering I spent a year in isolation and another year in hospital. though I think working out is beneficial for anyone really, it's one of the easiest ways (I find) to improve your mental well being. even if you feel like you don't need to get a nice body or get ripped, or already have one, the endorphins alone and what I said above is worth it in itself.

Just going outside makes me feel better Especially now that the weather is getting better here in Florida, it's pleasant to be outside

So being marked as intermitting / withdrawn from the university, and they've sent me an e-mail demanding I pay them £2k in tuition fees for this academic year (2015-16) when I've not confirmed my attendance [which is basically permission for SFE to prove that I am attending the university], or attended any lectures. I've also not returned to the university within 20 working days of the return date. Good thing I can clue myself up about the academic regulations huh? [quote=Academic Regulations]Definitions In these Rules, regulations and procedures for students the following expressions have the meanings shown below. 7 You – a student who is registered and studying at one of our campuses. Your membership of Anglia Ruskin University will, unless we end it earlier under these rules, end at the Award Ceremony we invite you to attend. If you intermit your studies, in line with our rules, you will still be covered by these rules, regulations and procedures for students. [b][u]However, you do not have to pay tuition fees.[/u][/b] .... 3 Refunding tuition fees 3a We will not refund your tuition fee other than for the reasons shown in b below. 3b The circumstances when we will give a refund are: b3 if you withdraw during the [b][u]first three weeks of a course.[/u][/b] We must receive a properly authorised and dated withdrawal or intermitting notice form (forms R1a and R1b). [/quote] For the record, I withdrew on the 5th October, when the academic year started on Monday 21 September 2015, and teaching one week later. I was also informed during my withdrawal that I was still marked as an intermitting student. I may be depressed and not wanting to live, but fuck it when someone thinks they can try and squeeze money out of me which they are not entitled to get. In short, someone at the university finance department is going to get a rather firm notice tomorrow.