Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

I wish I required less sleep, in the winter time I'm capeable of sleeping for an entire day, and I don't mean just laying around like a lazy lump I mean straight up sleeping like a bear in hibernation. I absolutely need an alarm of some sort to wake me up or else I can garuntee you I'll be actually asleep most of the day.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49078945]:words:[/QUOTE] Wait, spending 2-3 hours to fall asleep and constantly having a schedule drift isn't normal? Fuck. No wonder I've been doing awfully in school the last few years.

I'm happy my depression seems to be over. Eight + years of that shit, all I needed was a 6+ month break from school. Here's to hoping it doesn't come back, I like being the normal me. Haven't had a PTSD episode in a while either. To anyone considering suicide, I considered it a lot in the past. It's not worth it, I always snapped into reality when I was considering it. People do care about you, don't try to talk yourself into believing otherwise. I had a family member commit suicide when I was in the depths of a mental hell. It's not the way out, there's people willing to help you. I plan to start school in january, so here's to hoping my depression doesn't return and I can overcome my awful anxiety.

Felt quite bad last night, decided to remove over 90% of my steam friends list (about 150 people), delete virtually most of my Facebook account, deleted contacts from skype, closed down various accounts on other websites, deleted some saved games I had, etc. Slept very badly.

-snip- Thought better of having that on here.

I haven't had a depressive episode or a panic attack for nearly two weeks now. Even though I'm still in the same situations as before, I think things are finally looking up! :dance:

While some of this trip to the US has been good, I can help but feel it was a bad idea. I was an idiot for coming up with it. Most people I know go on holiday and have a really great time, I've just been lying to people on Facebook. Been feeling mostly depressed since I arrived, I was an idiot to think a holiday would help with my depression. When I arrive home, all I'll remember is how much money I spent.

can someone please help me fall asleep

Benadryl usually does the trick for me. I just take one if I don't need help falling asleep but need help staying asleep. Two if I can't fall asleep. It's a good "sometimes" sleep aid though. I would look into other things like melatonin or just getting regular exercise and eating right can help with sleep habits too.

i'm afraid of sleep meds, even if it's just a common side effect. i tried melatonin once, a very tiny tablet. woke up 30 hours later and had a lot of trouble inhaling. standing up was also very difficult.

Have headphones? Try one of those white noise sites. Try different kinds, too, there's white, black, grey and pink if I remember correctly.

i'm just gonna force myself to sleep if anyone wants to help me with this problem in the future feel free to add me on steam so i don't shit up the thread with reruns.

[QUOTE=Qaus;49091993]i'm afraid of sleep meds, even if it's just a common side effect. i tried melatonin once, a very tiny tablet. woke up 30 hours later and had a lot of trouble inhaling. standing up was also very difficult.[/QUOTE] What the heck, that's a weird reaction to melatonin :v:

That is a bit weird. Melatonin is just a regular hormone, isn't it? That being said, benadryl probably won't have that same effect. It's an antihistamine, so if anything else, you'll be breathing a little easier. :v

maybe i should have mentioned that i'm underweight losing probably a pound a week.

Is there a reason for that? Have you just not been eating or is it something else?

i just rarely feel hungry and i don't think about meals or food unless it's right there in front of me.

[QUOTE=Qaus;49092164]i just rarely feel hungry and i don't think about meals or food unless it's right there in front of me.[/QUOTE] Seen a doctor about it? I dunno your weight shouldn't really matter when taking melatonin, but seeing a professional about that reaction and/or your weight loss might be a good idea. [editline]10th November 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=Pascall;49092132]That is a bit weird. Melatonin is just a regular hormone, isn't it?[/QUOTE] It is yeah

I would see a doctor/therapist if apathy is keeping you from eating. Maybe see both and get varying opinions. That can really quickly lead to an eating disorder so you wanna put a stop to it if you can. When I was younger I had a lot of stomach issues that lead to me just never being hungry and I fell into anorexia territory so I was given a sort of protein drink instead of food. Managed to keep me from getting too sick. It's easier to drink than it is to eat sometimes.

people keep talking to me about really depressing things and i keep asking them to stop but they wont every fucking day its someone else doing this i can take this shit anymore. i have other work to do and i can't get this stupid depressing stuff out of my head and so i just sit there like a useless sasck of shit and think about how fucking worthless whatever i do ends up being

[QUOTE=Pascall;49092387]I would see a doctor/therapist if apathy is keeping you from eating. Maybe see both and get varying opinions. That can really quickly lead to an eating disorder so you wanna put a stop to it if you can. When I was younger I had a lot of stomach issues that lead to me just never being hungry and I fell into anorexia territory so I was given a sort of protein drink instead of food. Managed to keep me from getting too sick. It's easier to drink than it is to eat sometimes.[/QUOTE] This sounds a lot like Chronic Depression, or it could be side effects of severe anxiety/depresion like GERD. Please do see someone or talk to someone. I know you're vaguely in the same city as me, so if you want my list of mental health professionals let me know- when I was looking for help I went through like 35+ of those types looking for the right fit for me (and one that was available). The two I'm seeing now are excellent, so it was worth the search. Melatonin should not have effected you like that, and it was unlikely the melatonin that caused that. Its a hormone produced by the body and melatonin pills have far more than your daily production of the hormone in them. There is nothing bad about this though, you metabolize what you can and the rest is passed through your system. I've never even heard of adverse reactions to melatonin. Not saying what you experienced is invalid- but it may be the symptom of something bigger or something mental. Mental stuff can really fuck with your physical health. Hope you're okay Qaus. edit: have you tried listening to really calming music or white noise machines, like mentioned above? establishing a very consistent routine can help as well. The first few days are tough but the routine gets easier and becomes comfortable after a while. Taking a cool shower before bed can help too, pretty sure that one was proved in a study but I can't find the bloody link atm.

I don't see how people live for 80 or 90 years. I haven't even reached 18 yet and I feel like I can't take anymore sometimes.

My fiance and I broke up today. Two and a half years. Two and a half fuckin' years, man. It didn't even end with a fight, or cheating, or something. It ended months ago. We don't talk, we don't play games together anymore, and all day every day she chats and plays games with other people. Not romantically, but I hear her having so much fun, laughing and yelling with other people. She was brave and sat down and talked to me about it. About how we're better off as friends and all that shit. I don't blame her at all; she said what I never could have. But fuck, man. We were so perfect in the beginning. I fell in love, we met online. We played every game together. Minecraft, Chivalry, Dota 2, CSGO, everything. We spent twenty hours straight just playing with one another, having the times of our lives. I'm so fucking lost. I finally had my life together. We were living together, we split bills, I was just about to go to school and knock out my degree, and now it's all fucking gone. For the first time in my life, I knew what I was doing and where I was headed. And now it's fuckin' gone, man. This rant is more for me, I'm really overwhelmed right now. I don't know where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do and I just needed to vent. Sorry for cluttering up your thread, guys. I'm not even sure if what all I wrote made sense

[QUOTE=Fort83;49094565]That's rough man, but the pain will fade in time. As for where you are headed, continue with your plan to go to school and get your degree, that shouldn't end just because you broke up.[/QUOTE] I am no longer financially stable and can't afford school

[QUOTE=Qaus;49092164]i just rarely feel hungry and i don't think about meals or food unless it's right there in front of me.[/QUOTE] This happens to me too, albeit a bit differently I believe. If I'm doing something interesting, I forget to eat and don't really feel hunger or anything. Longest I've gone like that is 2 days. At some point I realize "Wait, when did I last eat?" and THEN I get the correct feeling of hunger and almost die. During normal weekdays it doesn't happen because of scheduled lunch etc. But during vacation it can get bad. I'm afraid that I'll just drop dead one day because of it and my tombstone will say something like "Dumbass forgot to eat."

Huh, I never post anymore. Well, anyway... I've had a pretty good life. Sure, I was depressed for a few years, my mom developed cancer, and the girl I loved was going with someone else, but now I'm happy, my mom is healthy, and my girl is incredible (same girl). Outside of these things, I'm in school studying what I love (on full scholarship), getting paid to work in the same field, I live in a nice house with great roommates, and I've got a lot of friends. This semester has been very busy. Stressful, but, you know, good. I'm at school at 8, working at 5, and hanging with my girl at 9. Life is good. Until Saturday. I got a call from my mom saying my dad spontaneously lost vision on his left side. They go to the doctors and lo and behold: he has a brain tumor. Yesterday he went through brain surgery (I flew down the day before) and they got 90% of it. But it looks like cancer - and a bad kind. Glioblastoma. Fuck me. Fuck cancer. I know that, no matter what odds he may face, we'll fight it. But damn, what a shitty thing. What's hard is I won't be able to be here all the time: I have to return to school at some point. And while I'm here I can't even be sad: I'm the guy who has to ask the questions, shake the doctors' hands, and plan out a course of action. My mom is so upset. They live together, they work together, they never fight. They are genuinely in love with one another, and it breaks my heart to have her cry so hard. She's not even emotional. This is the first I've ever seen her do this. And my dad... besides how scary it must all be for him, the guy is so selfless. He didn't want to tell me all this stuff - he didn't want me to worry. He keeps telling my mom and I to go home. I'm sitting in the ICU now next to my parents (both asleep) and a few hours ago my dad opens his eyes, sees me, and smiles this huge smile that he carries with him back to sleep. And I just wanted to cry. They look so worn out and sad and they've never looked like this before. My dad always wanted to visit the Canadian Rockies, but now we don't know if he'll be able to. And I always gave him shit for putting off the trip. My parents are self-employeed, and with this they may not be able to keep the business open. Sigh. I have a teacher who went through cancer three times. And not just any cancer: terminal cancer. He was given a few months each time and kicked its fucking ass. He was always so damn positive, and that's what I want dad to be like. He has so many friends who are visiting him and calling him. I know we can keep him upbeat. When my mom got cancer I was scared for her like a kid scared for his parent. Now that I'm older, things are different. I have my own life. I'm scared for him because I love him. He's this amazing guy with an amazing life and he's cracking jokes in the fucking ICU and god damnit he doesn't deserve this. And there's nothing I can directly do. God fucking damnit what a stupid week. What a stupid, stupid week.

Can anyone tell me about anti-anxiety medicine? I've always disliked taking pills but I think I could really benefit from those. Are they side-effect heavy, etc?

[QUOTE=SgtTupelo;49095030]This happens to me too, albeit a bit differently I believe. If I'm doing something interesting, I forget to eat and don't really feel hunger or anything. Longest I've gone like that is 2 days. At some point I realize "Wait, when did I last eat?" and THEN I get the correct feeling of hunger and almost die. During normal weekdays it doesn't happen because of scheduled lunch etc. But during vacation it can get bad. I'm afraid that I'll just drop dead one day because of it and my tombstone will say something like "Dumbass forgot to eat."[/QUOTE] It's called a flow. [URL="en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mihaly_Csikszentmihalyi"]en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mihaly_Csikszentmihalyi[/URL]

[QUOTE=Spacewolf;49095576]Can anyone tell me about anti-anxiety medicine? I've always disliked taking pills but I think I could really benefit from those. Are they side-effect heavy, etc?[/QUOTE] It depends on what medicine you're talking about, as far as I know there are usually two types of medicines used for anxiety, anti-depressants for long term treatment and stuff like valium and benzos for panic attacks and short term anxiety situations. Anti-depressants are a gamble, you gotta try one out for a couple of weeks during which you may experience some nauesea, drowsiness or dry mouth (etc, those are some of the most common side effects) and then they should go away. Some people get really bad side effects from some anti depressants though while others do not, but you probably won't experience anything bad just some annoying effects. Valium and benzos and stuff I don't know much about, just don't take too much or it may mess with your memory and decision making.

I don't know how in the hell a boring overweight autistic guy like myself can become friends with such a beautiful girl. She even actually asks me to do things with her! It makes me feel really bad and really good at the same time.