Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

the more I'm with people, the more I see their flaws. it's an odd thing to see as I've always seen everyone but me as some sort of champion. another thing I've noticed is that I feel a lot of people are very reliant on social media and friends to remain stable. at least those I know. a friend of mine wondered what I was up to today and I told her I had plans with two others so I wasn't really available, but that I'd gladly meet her today instead. she said okay, started bugging one of those I was with asking if she could join, but got no since we were all pretty sure she wouldn't want to be part of what we were up to, nor was there any more room. she then sent me a message later on asking when I was going to meet them, and I said I had already met them. I don't remember the entire conversation or all of them as it was on Snapchat, but I remember it ending with her saying "okay, have fun with those guys." in a way I perceived as halfway guilt tripping. she then sent me two snaps later. I don't remember the first, but the second was captioned "emotionally eating" (I don't know how to word it differently, this is what google translate gave me) with some food in the picture. can't say I really enjoyed that, I found it to be kind of rude towards me. I'm just trying to have some fun, I've already planned my weekend long in advance, is it that hard to understand that someone can't be part of everything, especially when there's no room and it has been planned in advance? I find it wrong to attempt to guilt trip me for that. I figured I'd send a message today asking how her mood was today, but I'm feeling a little unsure. we took acid which she's no fan of, and my friend spoke with her and seemed fairly upset about that. she started digging, asking what we were up to, and my friend said "I really don't think you want to be part of this" to which she responded, "are you guys smoking weed?". she said "not exactly", which she replied with "you don't need to say more". I think she managed to figure out what we were up to on her own as she knew I was part of it and I'm the only one of the three of us who've done this in the past which she knows. I told her like over a month ago what happened when I was tossed out of the mental hospital. I remember her asking if I was ever going to pull anyone else into that, to which I replied no, not at all. I sort of did the opposite yesterday. now I'm not feeling sure about messaging her anymore. [editline]22nd November 2015[/editline] what I also suspect is that she's gonna go tell everyone in my social circle what I've been up to, plus even more. it's typical of her to rant about her feelings and what bothers her, so if drug use bothers her as much as I suspect and believe, this is definitely gonna be a conversation topic with others with names included. I'm gonna try messaging her one day at least, see if she wants to meet so I can at least discuss this and solve any feelings that she has about this if any.

I'm now in the process of ending every friendship I have. I don't want a relationship, I don't want friends anymore.

[QUOTE=kijji;49159357]Dropped out of college, want to move to Sweden in the near future, stuck in a dead-end retail job I could go on but those are the main points[/QUOTE] Millions of people are stuck in dead end jobs, it isn't great but you aren't the only person. Consider doing some adult learning courses or something to give you skills you can use to get into a better career.

I can't cry anymore, I feel all the emotions and I feel like I'm suppose to but I can't.

so how do you help someone else on the verge of suicide what do you even do do you just leave them alone?

You do what you can. Encourage them in a way you know how. Encourage them to seek help or call/text a crisis hotline. If you know them personally and can go visit them, that could also help too. If not, well. There's only so much you can do for people. Just be there. Keep talking to them, if you can.

i want to deflate and just sublime into an acid raincloud just so i can rain on jehovah and/or allah and/or vishnu for giving me a Y chromosome

i need a hug

This christmas is going to be a serious challenge for me. Not only would it have been the 2nd Anniversary of me and my ex getting together, but it was also when, when I was down at hers, going to shake life up for us and talk to her about moving into together and having kids and basically kick starting our life together.

[QUOTE=RayvenQ;49168862]This christmas is going to be a serious challenge for me. Not only would it have been the 2nd Anniversary of me and my ex getting together, but it was also when, when I was down at hers, going to shake life up for us and talk to her about moving into together and having kids and basically kick starting our life together.[/QUOTE] <3

I really don't want december to come around already.. This year I thought I met the perfect girl for me and we got together. However, 6 months into our relationship she suddenly felt we didn't fit together. I loved that girl like I never loved anything before in my life and now it looks like I will have to spend another holiday season alone :cry: [editline]23rd November 2015[/editline] Which might sound like a very selfish reason, but it's not like that at all. If there was anything I enjoyed it was making her happy.

Had to go to the ER last night because my body was causing me some intense pain for the second day in a row. I think a lot of my depression stems from how terrible my health seems to be despite everyone complimenting me on my weight (or lack thereof) but they don't know that growing up the size I did has kind of fucked me up in a lot of ways. I'm just tired.

Honestly, the only thing keeping me going is the thought that maybe my ex will really realise the mistake she's made and will want us to get back together, but that's a thought that will only last so long, and I don't know what after that. And its funny, people keep saying how nice a person I am, yet not enough it seems, despite giving my all and doing the best I could to help and support and be there for my ex, to the point where I put my own problems aside to prioritise helping and supporting her. But nope, not enough and not worth holding onto it seems.

nearly fainted this morning

I was feeling pretty exhausted today, I'm not sure why. anyway, I also had to go to the gym today which was not tempting at all. I usually don't hesitate to go workout, but today I did. another thing that happened today was my biweekly progress picture of my body. that's my third one after 6 weeks, so I figured I'd go compare my 3 pictures to see if I could spot any difference. last time I took a picture I couldn't see much difference, but wow! this time I can see a very clear difference between the third and the two others. I'm so happy right now. this is exactly what I needed right now. this is what tells me I'm doing the right thing and that it's working for me. [editline]23rd November 2015[/editline] fuck me man, this is amazing

[QUOTE=PredGD;49172602]I was feeling pretty exhausted today, I'm not sure why. anyway, I also had to go to the gym today which was not tempting at all. I usually don't hesitate to go workout, but today I did. another thing that happened today was my biweekly progress picture of my body. that's my third one after 6 weeks, so I figured I'd go compare my 3 pictures to see if I could spot any difference. last time I took a picture I couldn't see much difference, but wow! this time I can see a very clear difference between the third and the two others. I'm so happy right now. this is exactly what I needed right now. this is what tells me I'm doing the right thing and that it's working for me. [editline]23rd November 2015[/editline] fuck me man, this is amazing[/QUOTE] Don't do what some people do and start slacking off the gym as soon as you see improvement. Keep at it.

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;49173461]Don't do what some people do and start slacking off the gym as soon as you see improvement. Keep at it.[/QUOTE] I feel like this'll do the opposite. I don't feel like I was on the edge of exactly giving up the gym, but I've noticed I feel less tempted to hit the gym the days I should. now that I've actually have some concrete proof that this stuff is actually working (which I kinda already knew, the kilos are disappearing fast, just never saw the results), I feel a lot more motivated to keep going. finally I'm seeing what I've been wanting ever since I begun, amazing feeling!

hi, i've got this horrible luck/thing/life going on, like i feel like shit and just can't do anything the whole day, i loose apetite and just generaly feel like shit, the other days i feel the same, but i don't "show signs of this" outside me. Like i haven't got a hug in a long time, and when people do talk to me its when they want something from me, or just fuck me in the head. I don't know what to do with myself litelary, i'd smoke myself to coma if i had some pot, but i don't have that either. So if anyone went trough this shitty phase or whatever you call this, please help. Thanks.

It was pretty crowded coming home on the bus today and I felt my chest tighten a little, I hope it's not the beginning of anxiety :(

[QUOTE=kijji;49180201]It was pretty crowded coming home on the bus today and I felt my chest tighten a little, I hope it's not the beginning of anxiety :([/QUOTE] Do you usually get anxious when it comes to crowds and/or social situations?

one of my friends tend to have a tendency to complain about her life a lot but never seem to work towards getting better. I don't know for sure, but when I see her being a little sad I can almost tell that she's embracing it and making sure to drown herself in the bad feelings. it really infects me as well turning me quiet. I don't know what I should say, what I should do, and so on. should I comfort her? I've tried, but all the suggestions I come with is always faced with a "no". so I just kind of give up and sit there quietly with her. doesn't feel right to change the topic either since I don't know if she's even in the mood to talk about anything else, not that I really feel like it anyway since I get really hurt when I see her sad. feels incredibly awkward not speaking at all. a friend of ours says the same that it's really typical of her to complain about everything, even small things like being hungry and having issues with sleep. whenever she's given what would be obvious to do, like making herself some food, she just says "can't be bothered :P". why even complain in the first place? I don't know if she even likes to hang out with me. I feel she's so incredibly short with me on Facebook and SMS, but when I've noticed her text others I've always seen more fleshed out messages with lots of emojis and hearts. it boggles my mind considering she took the initiative to hang out 4 times last week. we had also planned to go to a cottage this weekend with a few people, but she was afraid there'd be drama. things got a little heated in the group chat yesterday, but it got resolved. today there's even more problems. our common friend lost her grandfather some time ago and was in the funeral today, but she decided to snap her pictures of herself crying and complaining which our common friend found very disrespectful. of course our common friend sent a long message about this, why that wasn't okay, what she felt, and that it was very disrespectful. this of course snowballed into her feeling even more awful which has made her drop out of our weekend plans completely. I've gotten messages from both sides, asking if each other were talking trash and with me trying to argue for both sides to them both at the same time. I don't want to pick sides, I love them both equally, very uncomfortable situation. now I'm feeling upset since not everyone is gonna go to the cottage which feels wrong

Being an inferior human being sucks. Everyone is smart, perfectly happy with their lives, attractive, in a relationship and has a good future ahead of them, and then there's me with fuck all.

-Snip-

I don't understand how people can cause so much drama, I feel like all of this could have been easily avoided if both sides used their brain more. I found it unnecessary for our common friend to be so incredibly rude towards her, and I find it unnecessary and dumb for her to drown herself in self pity. of course that's annoying, but I understand her at the same time. I'm not exactly being punished for their actions, but at the same time I feel like I am. I was really looking forward to the weekend with all of us, but now that one of us has dropped out I feel like it's not going to be the same. I'm really, really sad that she dropped out.

[QUOTE=FreyasFighter;49180599]Do you usually get anxious when it comes to crowds and/or social situations?[/QUOTE] Not really, at least from what I remember.

OK, I need to get this out somewhere. About a year and a half ago, when I was just barely 18, I had a fuck buddy for about four or five months who was pretty much the first person I had sex with more than once. He treated me very, very badly. He never hit me or molested me, thank God, but he would humiliate me, forced me to do sexual things I didn't want to do, and threatened to never talk to me again if I said no to him. The next day after these incidents, without fail, he would always send me lengthy texts about how sorry he was and that he would never do it again. Well, after this cycle repeated a few times, I wised up and just stopped talking to him completely (he never tried to talk to me after I ignored him for a little while). Well, since then, I think I might be afraid of sex. I'm still attracted to guys, I still masturbate, I still flirt with people, but I'm not able to have sex. I talk with guys on Tinder or Grindr, but never bother to seal the deal with any of them and just stop talking to them randomly because the thought of having sex is scary - coupled with the fact I just don't have very high self-esteem and find it really hard to believe that people find me attractive or would even really want to know me. What do I do? What CAN I do? I want to have sex again, but I'm afraid that I just won't ever be able again and that makes me really sad.

[QUOTE=cheetahben;49183182]OK, I need to get this out somewhere. About a year and a half ago, when I was just barely 18, I had a fuck buddy for about four or five months who was pretty much the first person I had sex with more than once. He treated me very, very badly. He never hit me or molested me, thank God, but he would humiliate me, forced me to do sexual things I didn't want to do, and threatened to never talk to me again if I said no to him. The next day after these incidents, without fail, he would always send me lengthy texts about how sorry he was and that he would never do it again. Well, after this cycle repeated a few times, I wised up and just stopped talking to him completely (he never tried to talk to me after I ignored him for a little while). Well, since then, I think I might be afraid of sex. I'm still attracted to guys, I still masturbate, I still flirt with people, but I'm not able to have sex. I talk with guys on Tinder or Grindr, but never bother to seal the deal with any of them and just stop talking to them randomly because the thought of having sex is scary - coupled with the fact I just don't have very high self-esteem and find it really hard to believe that people find me attractive. What do I do? What CAN I do? I want to have sex again, but I think I might be too traumatized.[/QUOTE] wait until you find someone who you can trust and makes you feel comfortable enough to take that step

I would seek out some professional help. Sexual trauma is a real thing, regardless of the intensity of the event that causes it. There are a lot of therapists who can give you help when it comes to being tentative about sex. It's a pretty common thing for a variety of reasons.

[IMG]http://pred.me/pics/2015-11-25_14-34-44.png[/IMG] just saw this picture on Facebook and it feels so true. I don't know if I would be able to live a normal life with a job like this, this just isn't what I want with my life. forcing myself up everyday to work hours on end 5 days a week with the occasional vacation, I don't see how I would live happily like that. I don't see how anyone can live happily like that. maybe its just me. I find it very exhausting to wake up in the morning to the point where I prioritize sleep over everything, I'm just not able to get up. [editline]25th November 2015[/editline] drama is not fun when you're in the middle of it. the conflict from yesterday is still going on. I don't think they've spoken to each other, but one of them is speaking of it to me now. I feel like I have to tread very carefully to make sure I don't offend any of them or pick sides which isn't the easiest.

I completely agree. From my current point of view life is pretty much over when you have a steady job and you're 30. Then it's just 40+ years (considering how retirement age keeps being increased my generation will probably never get to retire) of working until you're "free" to sit in a retirement home and be lonely. I'm sure everyone thinks of this, most people just have enough content in their lives that they can ignore the "work doing dumb shit until you fall down and die" bit and concentrate on what matters to them. I don't.