Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;49234670]Maybe sit down and have a talk with her about it? Obviously don't be an asshole about it, but communication is key to lasting relationships and it's not good to go around carrying suppressed emotions and thoughts about a relationship you're in! [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] Like you don't have to put her up to an ultimatum or something just tell her how you feel and that you felt like you had to mention it.[/QUOTE] I think she can tell how I feel, I don't think anything would come out of it if I sat down with her and told her I'm worried I can't fulfill my promises to stay with her until the end...

[QUOTE=kyle877;49233848]I've disowned the majority of my family after all the shit they put me through, or stood back and let happen. Every now and then I feel a bit bad about it, but then I remember their abusive, manipulative behaviors. No matter how much they might care, that doesn't excuse shitty behavior.[/QUOTE] That's true. I guess I shouldn't keep giving them chances after they've given me none. For whatever reason I thought it would make me "the better person" to keep going over there on occasion to try and settle things with them. But then I remember how homophobic they are, how awful they treated me in the past, etc. As for my mother's side of the family: they give me mixed reactions. They don't really approve of me moving out and they've held me back from improving socially/becoming an adult. I've had to figure that shit out on my own. They almost half-assed raised me in some ways so to speak. When I said I wanted to drop some of this extra fat off of me, their response was: "Why are you going to do that? You'll look too skinny." or "Don't become an anorexic!" I had my landlord tell me I look sick and gross and anorexic (when I don't) and she said "Real men like curves! No man's ever gonna date you if you look sickly!" Made me furious when she said that, because I'm gay, and because why the fuck should I cater to what men want? Idk in general whenever I make progress in life, they always shoot me down, and it's not to look out for me, it's because they really don't want to see me suceed MY way. [B]I aaaiiinnn't havin' that shit![/B]

I've been depressed and anxious for like forever now. Barely passed 10th grade, then dropped out of two schools and now it's coming up to 4 years I haven't been going to school. Idk what I really want to do with my life anymore. I used to think I wanted to be a programmer, but I cant focus at all and have no energy to do even the most trivial things like showering or going shopping or chores, let alone studying and programming. I used to be hyperactive, but then I grew up and lost all ability to hold my attention and all of my energy. I feel I have Adult ADHD-PI, but my shitty ass country doesn't recognize that as an actual disorder so I can't get any help for it. No anti-depressants thus far helped me, even though I took each one for at least a couple months at a time. Clonazepam chills me out and helps with the anxiety, but I don't think I can hope to achieve any of my goals and move forward in live without getting help with my ADD. I used to be a top student, even going to Olimpiades for math/physics/programming/english and scoring 1st or 2nd places, but then all of that went to shit. Idk what to do with myself. I guess I'll keep trying to get my shrink to prescribe anti-depressants and anxiolytics which are also used for ADD in other countries.

Been having a think these last few days. Having reconnected with my friend from college, and, given we've barely spoke over the years and not seen each other for 10 years, we reconnected like the old us pretty well. So I've decided to redirect my energies from moping about to helping her out and being the best friend that I can be that she deserves. She works really fucking hard giving her all for her kid while being a single mum, which, actually, is my biggest regret in life, not being there for her as her bestie at the time she was having her kid and while the kid was growing up, I'm really kicking myself for letting things lapse with us despite it not being either of our faults that life happened. So I'm going to be redirecting my energies and giving my time and effort to someone who really bloody deserves it, especialy the fact that despite us both going through similar shit at the time, and her having to take care of a kid, she was there for me when I really needed it, so now, I'll be there for her for the rest of our lives, for anything, no matter what. Hell, she already called me her best guy friend before I decided all of this. If I spend the rest of my life helping her out, so be it, it's worth it. I was saving up for an Xbox One, but now I've decided she's getting the money, half to help her out a bit with christmas for her and her daughter, and half for help redecorating her house, as honestly, that's worth more to me than a sodding console. We're meeting up next week for a few hours and sometime during christmas halfterm, where we plan to have a nice chill out night. Told her I'll be doing the tea for all 3 of us, buying it and cooking it, she has nothing to do but to chill, then after that we're going to have a chill out session of booze and just chill out and hang out, get drunk and have a laugh like we used to. We may even make it a regular thing, because as much as she takes care of her daughter and her friends, she damn well deserves to have someone take care of her once in a while.

This has probably been said before in this thread, but I feel my problems are minuscule compared to the shit some of you guys are going through; is it good or bad to feel that way?

[QUOTE=kijji;49239745]This has probably been said before in this thread, but I feel my problems are minuscule compared to the shit some of you guys are going through; is it good or bad to feel that way?[/QUOTE]I feel the same way. Try not to trivialize yourself, please.

[QUOTE=kijji;49239745]This has probably been said before in this thread, but I feel my problems are minuscule compared to the shit some of you guys are going through; is it good or bad to feel that way?[/QUOTE] Everyone deserves sympathy and help, no matter how small the problem IMO

[QUOTE=kijji;49239745]This has probably been said before in this thread, but I feel my problems are minuscule compared to the shit some of you guys are going through; is it good or bad to feel that way?[/QUOTE] I feel like that so often. The truth is, if your problems affect you in any way, then they don't deserve to be ignored in favor of something else. You deserve help just as much as anyone else.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49234413]yeah, it's a dangerous mindset. very damaging, though at the same time, a very tempting place to be. I feel like I've been on a journey all night through my emotions and it's sort of ending. for some reason I want to embrace my depression again, but I know how much it'll ruin me, and how much progress I'll wipe out. how come it's still tempting when I know how much it'll fuck me up? it's easier to go down rather than up, and perhaps I feel a need to be on the move, but since it's hard to go up I'll just go down instead. I can't really find anything that makes depression attractive, but it somehow is. it just feels safe. the easiest road is to mentally cripple myself so I never have to do what I fear most in life, be part of society. [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] hmm [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] I wonder, is there a way for depression to improve us? to make us realize whatever? do mental disorders have to be so black and white, isn't it possible that any disorder actually can provide us with something along with the negative things it brings? perhaps instead of focusing on removing a disorder, what about embracing it, skinning the negative things away and focusing on all the positive things it can bring? [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] while I don't know for sure, I think I'd like to think that everything in life has at least one positive thing. even the negative things. while it may not be as apparent that being socially rejected is a positive thing for example, isn't there knowledge to be had from it? that is a positive thing. to ponder why you were rejected so you can better yourself as a person and prevent it from happening again. maybe depression can work that way as well somehow? [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] do bad experiences even exist? what makes a bad experience a bad experience? what makes a bad feeling a bad feeling? are these not just chemical reactions in our brain? there's no universal answer as to what a negative emotion is, is there? we all have our own realities, a negative emotion is exactly what we make it out to be. since we're in control of our realities, can't we twist that around into something positive? [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] I'm feeling surprisingly insane (which hopefully means I'm not insane) right now. I just can't think at all right now, I feel like my view on the world suddenly twisted, turned upside down and managed to collapse at the same time. I'm recognizing the thoughts I'm having right now very easily, feels like thoughts I've had when taking acid which makes it sane to think I'm insane. I'm mindfucking myself. I see what people mean when they say that acid changes you, I had no idea it'd do this much. I don't know if it's in a positive or negative way yet. feeling surprisingly spiritual.[/QUOTE] Replying to this now so I can go into more detail later. You make some good points that I want to expand on.

Great thread! It's brief but comprehensive. Learned a lot from it. Thanks:goodjob:

[QUOTE=PredGD;49234413]yeah, it's a dangerous mindset. very damaging, though at the same time, a very tempting place to be. I feel like I've been on a journey all night through my emotions and it's sort of ending. for some reason I want to embrace my depression again, but I know how much it'll ruin me, and how much progress I'll wipe out. how come it's still tempting when I know how much it'll fuck me up? it's easier to go down rather than up, and perhaps I feel a need to be on the move, but since it's hard to go up I'll just go down instead. I can't really find anything that makes depression attractive, but it somehow is. it just feels safe. the easiest road is to mentally cripple myself so I never have to do what I fear most in life, be part of society. [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] hmm [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] I wonder, is there a way for depression to improve us? to make us realize whatever? do mental disorders have to be so black and white, isn't it possible that any disorder actually can provide us with something along with the negative things it brings? perhaps instead of focusing on removing a disorder, what about embracing it, skinning the negative things away and focusing on all the positive things it can bring? [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] while I don't know for sure, I think I'd like to think that everything in life has at least one positive thing. even the negative things. while it may not be as apparent that being socially rejected is a positive thing for example, isn't there knowledge to be had from it? that is a positive thing. to ponder why you were rejected so you can better yourself as a person and prevent it from happening again. maybe depression can work that way as well somehow? [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] do bad experiences even exist? what makes a bad experience a bad experience? what makes a bad feeling a bad feeling? are these not just chemical reactions in our brain? there's no universal answer as to what a negative emotion is, is there? we all have our own realities, a negative emotion is exactly what we make it out to be. since we're in control of our realities, can't we twist that around into something positive? [editline]3rd December 2015[/editline] I'm feeling surprisingly insane (which hopefully means I'm not insane) right now. I just can't think at all right now, I feel like my view on the world suddenly twisted, turned upside down and managed to collapse at the same time. I'm recognizing the thoughts I'm having right now very easily, feels like thoughts I've had when taking acid which makes it sane to think I'm insane. I'm mindfucking myself. I see what people mean when they say that acid changes you, I had no idea it'd do this much. I don't know if it's in a positive or negative way yet. feeling surprisingly spiritual.[/QUOTE] Alright man I really dig this post. What you're doing is questioning depression and that's fucking good. I did the same thing during my time. 1. I strongly believe that depression can and DOES improve us. Maybe this depends on the intensity of it but there's always some underlying positive to it even if you can't see it at the time, always. You have got to embrace depression or else you can consider yourself the underdog, or losing to it. It's a battle. 2. You don't necessarily need to disregard the negatives but instead pull something positive from each one. For example, say you got in your first car wreck today. The negative would obviously be the damage, the potential injuries, the money you're going to have to pay, etc. Here's the positive though. You're alive. You spoke with your insurance agent seriously for the first time. You've now got experience with police. You've officially scratched a "first" off your list. It might not be the best example but it's the first I thought of, so whatever. What I am getting at is that mistakes happen. Life shits on you whether you beg for it to or not and a lot of the time it'll actually shit on you multiple times to make matters worse. One HUGE thing I learned is to [I]learn[/I] from it. No mistakes, only lessons. If you learned something from it then it was not a mistake. Yin & Yang. There's good in the bad and there's bad in the good. One can't exist without the other. 3. "Bad" experiences exist depending on how we're conditioned to think. What's bad to you may not be bad to someone else and shit, it could potentially be good for someone else. You gotta consciously practice this but stop labeling things good or bad. The instant you label something good or bad you start forming opinions about it and then that snowballs. "It is what it is", "Fuck it", "I'll do better next time", etc. Have a mantra. Rewire your fucking brain and let's end this fucking sadness...but also make friends with it because it's our teacher.

[QUOTE=PelPix123;49243039]I've noticed a disparity in opinion of me between older and newer users. Older users dislike me and newer users don't. I think it's because I joined FP when I was 11 years old but wasn't obviously young. I was already into game dev and had an adult-sounding voice at age 11, so people just thought I was a huge asshole rather than just 11 years old. Kind of makes me sad, because it seems like there's gonna be opinions of me I can never change.[/QUOTE] See, I like people until they give me multiple reasons to dislike them. You haven't done anything bad to me; therefore I have a neutral/good standing with you, you're not bad to me. I'm sure thats how other new users think too. Hence why you're seeing newer people like you. [editline]4th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=kijji;49239745]This has probably been said before in this thread, but I feel my problems are minuscule compared to the shit some of you guys are going through; is it good or bad to feel that way?[/QUOTE] Everyone's problems are real and valid unless they're doing shit like this: "MY PARENTS WONT BUY ME AN IPHONE6 WHEN I ALREDY HAVE A FULLY FUNCTIONING I PHONE 5!!!! I h8 MY LIFE SUICIDE LMAO!" The thing I hate about people is when they dismiss people's feelings of depression just because most of us are lower/middle/average class people in countries that aren't third world/struggling with basics. While we are all very very lucky people (and we do have to keep that in the back of our heads) we still have problems, all of them are completely real and we're allowed to feel sad/depressed about it. The thing is, everything can be solved. So there's no sense in getting hung up over these problems. Don't let them stop you.

I don't feel like I'm going to live to see 30, the way things are going.

[QUOTE=kijji;49239745]This has probably been said before in this thread, but I feel my problems are minuscule compared to the shit some of you guys are going through; is it good or bad to feel that way?[/QUOTE] It's bad because it's not a contest about who has the most severe issues, everyone has troubles.

waiting for indefinite periods of time

Girlfriend of over a year just dumped me, said it felt like we were just friends and it wasn't going anywhere. She was the last thing in my life that was really keeping me going and I don't have her anymore. I bought an engine for my bike just so i could come see her. she says she still loves me and cares about me and doesn't want me to move somewhere far away but I don't even know how to feel right now. She was literally everything I ever thought about I promised her that I wouldn't hurt myself but honestly her breaking up with me just shows me what a fucking huge waste my life is. I have no real friends in the entire world. My family has completely moved out of the city and I feel like I'm totally, completely alone now. I'm staying with my sister the next city over and had plans to get a job and come visit my ex once a week, and thats honestly really all I cared about, now its gone and i feel like I literally have no heart. I don't see how I'm ever going to meet another person when I'm still missing 3 credits from highschool and have no hope of post-secondary education I have no friends, I don't even know how to talk to people at this point, it doesn't even seem like I can meet an fp'er in my city. My life feels more hopeless now than it ever has, I know I'll never meet someone like her again. I don't know what to do, and I'm just so tired of everything now I don't want to be alive. Also its my birthday in two weeks, great.

I feel so detached from my friends but I want to be with them more, so I talk more, but I feel they don't like that, so I don't talk for awhile, and it when its my turn to speak I talk again, only longer then last time. It's an endless cycle. I made my basement basically the biggest game room there is, entirely built by myself using spare parts and broken things, it's filled with board games, an arcade machine, a vending machine, shit loads of old consoles, a wargaming table with multiple battlefields And yet I haven't had a single friend over in over a year, and nobody to appreciate what I have done. It seems they always want to hang out with each other, but whenever I mention anything with me involved, they come up with excuses. I end up playing board games, arcade games by myself and continue tinkering with everything.. but it's beginning to feel pointless. The same is even happening in videogames now, nobody wants to play co-op or even multiplayer games, everybody is too busy. sucks

I'm sure most people on this forum have noticed how stupid I am with regards to any attempts I make at anything. So at the moment I'm looking a means to increase my intelligence, has anyone had any experience with nootropic drugs? I have this tenancy to be really slow when it comes to learning. I think it's the cause of my depression, I'm not very good at anything so I get depressed, I'm fuck anyone with a job even a soul crushing one is superior to me.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;49249883]I'm sure most people on this forum have noticed how stupid I am with regards to any attempts I make at anything. So at the moment I'm looking a means to increase my intelligence, has anyone had any experience with nootropic drugs? I have this tenancy to be really slow when it comes to learning. I think it's the cause of my depression, I'm not very good at anything so I get depressed, I'm fuck anyone with a job even a soul crushing one is superior to me.[/QUOTE] Relevant: [media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvZI_Xdh8i4[/media] Nootropics don't really make you smarter and most of them don't really have any convincing scientific evidence to back them up, except for people with dementia. I have a similar problem to you - I don't have any energy/motivation/focus to study or work on anything at all. Can't even read a book past like 4 pages in a day and forcing myself to read everyday is such a chore, no matter how interesting the book is. Sometimes I can't even bring myself to shower because it seems too hard and I don't have enough energy for it. Have you considered that you might have ADD? Also, if you're seeing a therapist for your depression, maybe consider asking him for an anti-depressant that's a little stimulating, like Bupropion.

[QUOTE=DeadKiller987;49250704]Relevant: [media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvZI_Xdh8i4[/media] Nootropics don't really make you smarter and most of them don't really have any convincing scientific evidence to back them up, except for people with dementia. I have a similar problem to you - I don't have any energy/motivation/focus to study or work on anything at all. Can't even read a book past like 4 pages in a day and forcing myself to read everyday is such a chore, no matter how interesting the book is. Sometimes I can't even bring myself to shower because it seems too hard and I don't have enough energy for it. Have you considered that you might have ADD? Also, if you're seeing a therapist for your depression, maybe consider asking him for an anti-depressant that's a little stimulating, like Bupropion.[/QUOTE] I don't know if I'm ADD, some people tell me that ADD doesn't really exist, it's all just laziness. But I need some method of improving my intelligence or I'll just be stuck in this rut for the rest of my life and won't achieve the goals I've set myself. I am seeing a therapist for depression, but anti-depressants are for people with my suicidal tendencies, they aren't going to increase my intelligence or do anything significant, they'll just make me dependent on them. What I need is a means to make myself better at remembering things and cut my learning curves. The way I learn is too inefficient to the point where it's almost ineffective. I need to be able to learn things on the spot and get information to stick like normal people do. Right now I'm inferior to even the members of this forum in terms of intelligence and skill. I have an IQ of 105 which is pretty dumb, I need to move it beyond that. Apart from nootropics there isn't really any other means of making myself smarter, I don't really have much of a choice here, if I don't try nootropics I'll just be stuck in a dead end job with pipe dreams. It's either do something about this issue or be a moron.

I understand what you're trying to do and everything, but your intelligence level doesn't effect your social prowess, nor does it alleviate things like ADD, ADHD, or depression. And honestly, IQ level is just something that self-absorbed people pull out in an effort to feel superior. Intelligence comes in many forms and there are tons of different ways to learn an absorb/retain information. Schools are so far behind in figuring out that kids learn differently that people who are in their upper teens or twenties now are feeling the effects of that educational neglect. Your brain functioning different from "normal" people doesnt have to be a handicap. You just have to find the right method of learning for yourself.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;49251547]I don't know if I'm ADD, some people tell me that ADD doesn't really exist, it's all just laziness. But I need some method of improving my intelligence or I'll just be stuck in this rut for the rest of my life and won't achieve the goals I've set myself. I am seeing a therapist for depression, but anti-depressants are for people with my suicidal tendencies, they aren't going to increase my intelligence or do anything significant, they'll just make me dependent on them. What I need is a means to make myself better at remembering things and cut my learning curves. The way I learn is too inefficient to the point where it's almost ineffective. I need to be able to learn things on the spot and get information to stick like normal people do. Right now I'm inferior to even the members of this forum in terms of intelligence and skill. I have an IQ of 105 which is pretty dumb, I need to move it beyond that. Apart from nootropics there isn't really any other means of making myself smarter, I don't really have much of a choice here, if I don't try nootropics I'll just be stuck in a dead end job with pipe dreams. It's either do something about this issue or be a moron.[/QUOTE] ADD is really a real thing. It's just over-diagnosed in a lot of places, so people assume it's not a real condition because of that. I recommend asking your therapist if you might have it. And anti-depressants aren't only for suicidal people(I'm not suicidal at all, but I'm still depressed) and the right one might help you focus on your studies. Basically just talk to your therapist about this stuff. [editline]5th December 2015[/editline] And if you wanna try nootropics, go ahead, just make sure you're informed about what you're taking. I kinda wanna try modafinil myself.

[QUOTE=kijji;49239745]This has probably been said before in this thread, but I feel my problems are minuscule compared to the shit some of you guys are going through; is it good or bad to feel that way?[/QUOTE] Who cares? It is a reason to be grateful. Be thankful for what you got. [QUOTE]I aaaiiinnn't havin' that shit![/QUOTE] Don't let dead weights drag you down. [QUOTE]I don't know if I'm ADD, some people tell me that ADD doesn't really exist, it's all just laziness.[/QUOTE] They are fucking liars. I ve had it and it can ruin lives. The question is, what form you got? Mine allows to have "tunnel" vision or a more positive term, focus on one type with great intensity. Hyper focus. One thing I learned is it can affect your ability to understand communication over the phone, radio or person to person. I'm a hearing them, but something not registering. Another thing. Trauma can affect your brain. Thus intelligence. Depression, beating yourself up, stress, ect ect. So the best you can do is eliminate or deal with any issues. The final thing is eliminate "noise". Meaning? Stop consuming media for at least a few weeks. Disconnect from the phone. No video games, No internet. See how that works out for you.

What a good thread about people having suicidal thoughts just like you

[QUOTE=PelPix123;49250839]I'm neurotypical and was raised by two autistic people. I don't mean this as a dick thing to say, but autistic people should not raise kids unassisted. They don't have the capacity to learn how, even making all the effort in the world. For the emotional health of the child, the innate psychic connection that non-autistic people have is actually fundamental. Children can't develop properly without it. Here's something that I think needs to be understood: the emotional wall between autistic and non-autistic people is [I]two-way[/I]. Autistic people are unreadable to non-autistic people in the exact same way as non-autistic people are unreadable to autistic people. If you have autism, please don't ever do this to anyone. I know it kind of sucks, but please, please don't. At least, not with a partner that's also autistic. If it's only one of you, that's fine. But please, god, not both. It's fucked me up in ways I can't comprehend, and I can't comprehend them because it's fucked me up. Having your early-childhood role models have autism makes you not only not able to express emotions, but it goes even further and gets even worse. I can't even feel emotions properly. Even on the inside. It's not that they're repressed, it's that I literally never developed the ability to properly feel. Now everything just piles up as formless tension behind a wall with no outlet valve. It's ripping apart my mind and spilling over into my body and there's not really anything that can be done because I literally missed crucial brain development. Like if I'm supposed to get angry. I can feel a pressure build up, but it never turns into an emotion. It's not that it's repressed or that I'm ignoring it, it's that it literally never turns from basic neurochemical arousal into anger. I'm missing that step. I only have two states: sympathetic arousal and parasympathetic relaxation. They don't branch off contextually into commonly-experienced emotions because I literally do not possess the mechanism that does that because of the absence of the bond with either of my parents. I have to manually contextualize my emotions and decide what I'm feeling. This sounds great, but it's not. It's annoying and hollow. I feel like I'm not even really a person and like I was never given the chance to form an identity. There's just void inside. I'm not happy, I'm not sad. I'm not even depressed. My motivation is great, I'm very efficient, I function well. There's just nothing in here but formless goop. All I really feel is empathy. I can feel other people's emotions somehow, just not mine. I can ONLY feel and understand other people and am incapable of turning it inwards.[/QUOTE] Wait what on earth do you mean by "For the emotional health of the child, the innate psychic connection that non-autistic people have is actually fundamental. Children can't develop properly without it." ??? There's no such thing as psychics.

Autism is a huge spectrum. Two autistic people can certainly raise a child appropriately. But those circumstances in particular just didn't produce good results. Not to invalidate their experiences or anything. Just saying that there are different levels of autism.

[QUOTE=PelPix123;49250839]I'm neurotypical and was raised by two autistic people. I don't mean this as a dick thing to say, but autistic people should not raise kids unassisted. They don't have the capacity to learn how, even making all the effort in the world. For the emotional health of the child, the innate psychic connection that non-autistic people have is actually fundamental. Children can't develop properly without it. Here's something that I think needs to be understood: the emotional wall between autistic and non-autistic people is [I]two-way[/I]. Autistic people are unreadable to non-autistic people in the exact same way as non-autistic people are unreadable to autistic people. If you have autism, please don't ever do this to anyone. I know it kind of sucks, but please, please don't. At least, not with a partner that's also autistic. If it's only one of you, that's fine. But please, god, not both. It's fucked me up in ways I can't comprehend, and I can't comprehend them because it's fucked me up. Having your early-childhood role models have autism makes you not only not able to express emotions, but it goes even further and gets even worse. I can't even feel emotions properly. Even on the inside. It's not that they're repressed, it's that I literally never developed the ability to properly feel. Now everything just piles up as formless tension behind a wall with no outlet valve. It's ripping apart my mind and spilling over into my body and there's not really anything that can be done because I literally missed crucial brain development. Like if I'm supposed to get angry. I can feel a pressure build up, but it never turns into an emotion. It's not that it's repressed or that I'm ignoring it, it's that it literally never turns from basic neurochemical arousal into anger. I'm missing that step. I only have two states: sympathetic arousal and parasympathetic relaxation. They don't branch off contextually into commonly-experienced emotions because I literally do not possess the mechanism that does that because of the absence of the bond with either of my parents. I have to manually contextualize my emotions and decide what I'm feeling. This sounds great, but it's not. It's annoying and hollow. I feel like I'm not even really a person and like I was never given the chance to form an identity. There's just void inside. I'm not happy, I'm not sad. I'm not even depressed. My motivation is great, I'm very efficient, I function well. There's just nothing in here but formless goop. All I really feel is empathy. I can feel other people's emotions somehow, just not mine. I can ONLY feel and understand other people and am incapable of turning it inwards.[/QUOTE] I hope you understand that not all autistic people are soulless husks incapable of emotions, but unfortunately, I do understand what you mean. I have to intellectualize neurotypical behaviors in order to relate to other people.

[QUOTE=Mysterious;49246677]I don't feel like I'm going to live to see 30, the way things are going.[/QUOTE] I don't feel like living until 30. Whats the point, honestly? The sooner, the better.

[QUOTE=Ridley;49253746]I don't feel like living until 30. Whats the point, honestly? The sooner, the better.[/QUOTE] Telling stupid kids to get off your lawn?

Not all autistic people are like that though? There are people who suffer from very mild autism which only effects a few things in their day to day lives and not necessarily their ability to comprehend and respond to emotional stimuli. I work with autistic children and adults on a day to day basis and they are not all as you describe. I don't disagree that there are a good amount that ARE like that. But generalizing autistic individuals in the way that you're doing is being a little overbearing because there are so many different sorts of people who suffer from autism. Some that don't even get diagnosed until very late in life because it's so minor.