Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=Pascall;49253842]Not all autistic people are like that though? There are people who suffer from very mild autism which only effects a few things in their day to day lives and not necessarily their ability to comprehend and respond to emotional stimuli. I work with autistic children and adults on a day to day basis and they are not all as you describe. I don't disagree that there are a good amount that ARE like that. But generalizing autistic individuals in the way that you're doing is being a little overbearing because there are so many different sorts of people who suffer from autism. Some that don't even get diagnosed until very late in life because it's so minor.[/QUOTE] Tell me more about how you work with autistic children and adults. That's actually very interesting. As for myself, I talked to a girl at college who worked with autistic children back in high school, and she noticed that they varied in how logical and emotional they were. She also said I was able to form a very emotional connection with her, so there's that I suppose.

I work in an after school care program and have for the last three years. We're trained in working with autistic children just because we have so many of them. And there are a lot of parents who come in who are autistic too. People with autism as just as diverse as neurotypicals, tbh. You have to figure out what makes each and every person tick and how to communicate with them if you want your efforts to do so to be effective.

I still disagree, but I don't want it to sound like I'm saying that what you went through didn't happen. So I'll drop it for now.

Oh, well of course, I'm not saying that it doesn't make a difference. It totally does. It's just that not every child raised by autistic parents will turn out the same as any other. They can be perfectly happy.

[QUOTE=PelPix123;49253516]I just can't really agree on this point. It's not about competence or behavior, it's about the presence or absence of the unconscious social link. If you went back in time and took two parents that did a great job raising a child and replaced them with autistic parents, but they were guaranteed to say and do the same things, it would still be worse, because there's an esoteric X element that's still missing. Even if they said and did the same things and did everything right, it still wouldn't work as well as it would for non-autistic people. It's caused by the very fact that they're autistic. Not any consequence of them being autistic, but the very fact itself. [editline]5th December 2015[/editline] Psychic is just a descriptive term. Whatever you call thing that allows people to automatically get basic information on the tone of a social situation fed directly into their subconscious. I'm just saying that it's my belief that the child can tell whether that's there and will be stunted if it isn't, even if the parent does everything right.[/QUOTE] You mean social q's? (whatever its called)

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49254255]You mean social q's? (whatever its called)[/QUOTE] I think you mean social cues lol; afaik I'm not on the autism spectrum (though my mom thinks I am and so did my previous therapist, without telling me too :glare:) but it's hard sometimes for me to pick up on cues too even though I'm on day two of taking my antidepressants, my head's starting to feel a bit clearer

My best friend I'm moving in with might be getting a boyfriend. This just occured to me... if she gets a boyfriend she might not want to be my roomate and I'm on my own. I will go insane if I have to stay with my abusive family. This is not good. I thought I could rely on her and I guess I can't. I mean I can figure stuff out on my own but I'll be so depressed if I have to stay with my family for more than a couple months...

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49254951]My best friend I'm moving in with might be getting a boyfriend. This just occured to me... if she gets a boyfriend she might not want to be my roomate and I'm on my own. I will go insane if I have to stay with my abusive family. This is not good. I thought I could rely on her and I guess I can't. I mean I can figure stuff out on my own but I'll be so depressed if I have to stay with my family for more than a couple months...[/QUOTE] Hit the streets. I would rather starve and be sleep in the alley ways then be with people who make me sick.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49254951]My best friend I'm moving in with might be getting a boyfriend. This just occured to me... if she gets a boyfriend she might not want to be my roomate and I'm on my own. I will go insane if I have to stay with my abusive family. This is not good. I thought I could rely on her and I guess I can't. I mean I can figure stuff out on my own but I'll be so depressed if I have to stay with my family for more than a couple months...[/QUOTE] To me it sounds like your overthinking things. If her boyfriend has a job then that means more money to go around as well. [QUOTE=JohhnyCarson;49254955]Hit the streets.[/QUOTE] Lurk more.

I can't fucking take it anymore. I'm so fucking sick of dealing with chronic illnesses and shitty friends. At the same time, I'm even more sick of being alone. I've been depressed for over 6 years, and nothing I do or try seems to make me happy. I find no joy in absolutely anything. I push people away as much as I crave their company. I don't feel any connection, even love for my family, who love me with their whole heart. Ironically enough, the medicine I have to take three times a day that is supposed to help make me better, also increases my symptoms of depression. Some times I just like to imagine if my life would have turned out if I didn't spend my entire middle school home bound or in a fucking hospital bed. I wish I was never born, because I'm too much of a fucking coward to off myself. I just really don't want to spend any more time alone, but then again, there's nothing better to do in this shit town.

[QUOTE=Paincake;49255043]I can't fucking take it anymore. I'm so fucking sick of dealing with chronic illnesses and shitty friends. At the same time, I'm even more sick of being alone. I've been depressed for over 6 years, and nothing I do or try seems to make me happy. I find no joy in absolutely anything. I push people away as much as I crave their company. I don't feel any connection, even love for my family, who love me with their whole heart. Ironically enough, the medicine I have to take three times a day that is supposed to help make me better, also increases my symptoms of depression. Some times I just like to imagine if my life would have turned out if I didn't spend my entire middle school home bound or in a fucking hospital bed. I wish I was never born, because I'm too much of a fucking coward to off myself. I just really don't want to spend any more time alone, but then again, there's nothing better to do in this shit town.[/QUOTE] I wish I could redo my middle and high school years, since I was homeschooled and never got out of the house. Not much I can do about that now, but if you get help, you can definitely improve your quality of life.

I mean, I want her to have a relationship, the thing I'm scared of [sp] is her just shoving me out of her life. (Which is probably me over-thinking things, because me and her are really close) Eventually I do know me and her will part ways but that's not for a long time. She's gonna want a family and I'm going to want to just go off on my own and travel. Like I'm practically an aunt to her future kids if she has any, that's how close we are. It's like a bond closer than friendship but not a relationship. [/sp]

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49255093]I mean, I want her to have a relationship, the thing I'm scared of [sp] is her just shoving me out of her life. (Which is probably me over-thinking things, because me and her are really close) Eventually I do know me and her will part ways but that's not for a long time. She's gonna want a family and I'm going to want to just go off on my own and travel. Like I'm practically an aunt to her future kids if she has any, that's how close we are. It's like a bond closer than friendship but not a relationship. [/sp][/QUOTE] You should chill, but if you're that concerned, you should talk to your friend about it. Also that doesn't seem like a very fitting use for spoiler tags.

[QUOTE=elevate;49255096]You should chill, but if you're that concerned, you should talk to your friend about it. Also that doesn't seem like a very fitting use for spoiler tags.[/QUOTE] tru

it's strange to reflect that you were tormented for being too weak to defend yourself just seems so predatory and psychopathic tbh

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49254951]My best friend I'm moving in with might be getting a boyfriend. This just occured to me... if she gets a boyfriend she might not want to be my roomate and I'm on my own. I will go insane if I have to stay with my abusive family. This is not good. I thought I could rely on her and I guess I can't. I mean I can figure stuff out on my own but I'll be so depressed if I have to stay with my family for more than a couple months...[/QUOTE] I don't know your friend but most logical thinking people wouldn't move right in with a new SO, its just risky. You're overthinking it

[QUOTE=Pascall;49251567]I understand what you're trying to do and everything, but your intelligence level doesn't effect your social prowess, nor does it alleviate things like ADD, ADHD, or depression. And honestly, IQ level is just something that self-absorbed people pull out in an effort to feel superior. Intelligence comes in many forms and there are tons of different ways to learn an absorb/retain information. Schools are so far behind in figuring out that kids learn differently that people who are in their upper teens or twenties now are feeling the effects of that educational neglect. Your brain functioning different from "normal" people doesn't have to be a handicap. You just have to find the right method of learning for yourself.[/QUOTE]Well the logic is that if I can learn faster I can understand people better and be more social. Yeah, people keep telling me "you're different and that's fine, you should accept it", but I want to be normal, being a slow learner isn't a gift it, it's an obstacle that has to be overcome, whether it be with drugs or other means. Look at my posts, do they look as thought they were make by anyone with any decent level of intelligence? The more I learn the more correct I'll be and therefore will have higher self esteem which will in turn get rid of the depression. It'll also mean that I'll catch on faster during work. I'm not worried about finding some "different" way of learning, reading the facts and understanding them should be enough to retain the information, it's just that I have an inability to do that, which I need drugs to overcome. The part of my brain that makes me different is also the part that needs to be neutered, all that being "different" has done is make me inferior. Everyone even my therapist keeps trying to preach acceptance, but in my mind it's like admitting I'm not who I want to be. I have to get rid of whatever problems are in my way. [QUOTE=DeadKiller987;49251817]ADD is really a real thing. It's just over-diagnosed in a lot of places, so people assume it's not a real condition because of that. I recommend asking your therapist if you might have it. And anti-depressants aren't only for suicidal people(I'm not suicidal at all, but I'm still depressed) and the right one might help you focus on your studies. Basically just talk to your therapist about this stuff. [editline]5th December 2015[/editline] And if you wanna try nootropics, go ahead, just make sure you're informed about what you're taking. I kinda wanna try modafinil myself.[/QUOTE] Antidepressants create dependency, I'm not going to be reliant on some drug to feel good, I'm not looking to be a crack addict and for that reason yes I'll research nootropics.

[QUOTE=Paincake;49255043]I can't fucking take it anymore. I'm so fucking sick of dealing with chronic illnesses and shitty friends. At the same time, I'm even more sick of being alone. I've been depressed for over 6 years, and nothing I do or try seems to make me happy. I find no joy in absolutely anything. I push people away as much as I crave their company. I don't feel any connection, even love for my family, who love me with their whole heart. Ironically enough, the medicine I have to take three times a day that is supposed to help make me better, also increases my symptoms of depression. Some times I just like to imagine if my life would have turned out if I didn't spend my entire middle school home bound or in a fucking hospital bed. I wish I was never born, because I'm too much of a fucking coward to off myself. I just really don't want to spend any more time alone, but then again, there's nothing better to do in this shit town.[/QUOTE] The way I think of it is even though I did a lot of things wrong in my life and ended up depressed and anxious, I wouldn't want to change the past - it's how I became who I am today, I don't want to be some completely different person with different interests and experiences. You should focus on the future instead of dwelling on the past IMO [editline]6th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=RoboChimp;49256366]Well the logic is that if I can learn faster I can understand people better and be more social. Yeah, people keep telling me "you're different and that's fine, you should accept it", but I want to be normal, being a slow learner isn't a gift it, it's an obstacle that has to be overcome, whether it be with drugs or other means. [b]Look at my posts, do they look as thought they were make by anyone with any decent level of intelligence?[/b] The more I learn the more correct I'll be and therefore will have higher self esteem which will in turn get rid of the depression. It'll also mean that I'll catch on faster during work. I'm not worried about finding some "different" way of learning, reading the facts and understanding them should be enough to retain the information, it's just that I have an inability to do that, which I need drugs to overcome. The part of my brain that makes me different is also the part that needs to be neutered, all that being "different" has done is make me inferior. Everyone even my therapist keeps trying to preach acceptance, but in my mind it's like admitting I'm not who I want to be. I have to get rid of whatever problems are in my way. Antidepressants create dependency, I'm not going to be reliant on some drug to feel good, I'm not looking to be a crack addict and for that reason yes I'll research nootropics.[/QUOTE] I haven't read any of your posts outside this thread, but you don't come off as less intelligent than others IMO Also, if you're that worried about dependence, talk to your doctor about meds that don't produce it or at least produce it only minimally maybe.

[QUOTE]Look at my posts, do they look as thought they were make by anyone with any decent level of intelligence?[/QUOTE] You re not an idiot. The mere fact you doubt your abilities is proof you have potential. Dunning–Kruger effect is what it known as. It also goes by another name. Self awareness. I read your post. I know exactly where you are coming from.I have the same issue. The best I can suggest is deal with emotional problems. If ADD, you may have something that allows to hyper focus. Remember, behind every "defect" is an talent waiting to be discovered. As for acceptance? Well you going have to. Beating your self up is going to make it worse. Besides your posts indicates (to me at least) the ability to express yourself elegantly. As for learning slow? What do you got to learn? There is a way around it. [QUOTE]Antidepressants create dependency, I'm not going to be reliant on some drug to feel good, I'm not looking to be a crack addict and for that reason yes I'll research nootropics.[/QUOTE] Part of intelligence is being able to spot potential issues and then looking for solutions. Do realize you're taking one set of chemicals for another set.

my dad might try and stop me from getting help if he wants me dead this is a really good way to go about it

One of my dad's cats died yesterday. She was my buddy when I still lived at home, sleeping with my and often sitting at my feet while I was at my desk. I literally grew-up with this cat. This is the third pet that lived with him that has died this year from various reasons and it sucks that all these pets that I grew-up alongside are passing. At the very least she's not suffering anymore, she had a tumor on her face and was utterly emaciated because of it. It just sort of appeared one day and she went from ~20lbs to utterly nothing in the span of a week or so.

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;49256366]Well the logic is that if I can learn faster I can understand people better and be more social. Yeah, people keep telling me "you're different and that's fine, you should accept it", but I want to be normal, being a slow learner isn't a gift it, it's an obstacle that has to be overcome, whether it be with drugs or other means. Look at my posts, do they look as thought they were make by anyone with any decent level of intelligence? The more I learn the more correct I'll be and therefore will have higher self esteem which will in turn get rid of the depression. It'll also mean that I'll catch on faster during work. I'm not worried about finding some "different" way of learning, reading the facts and understanding them should be enough to retain the information, it's just that I have an inability to do that, which I need drugs to overcome. The part of my brain that makes me different is also the part that needs to be neutered, all that being "different" has done is make me inferior. Everyone even my therapist keeps trying to preach acceptance, but in my mind it's like admitting I'm not who I want to be. I have to get rid of whatever problems are in my way. Antidepressants create dependency, I'm not going to be reliant on some drug to feel good, I'm not looking to be a crack addict and for that reason yes I'll research nootropics.[/QUOTE] Nootropics [I]do not work[/I]. If you want to be among those preaching anti-vaccination, go ahead. There is a vast pile of evidence for the effectiveness of ADHD drugs, and they don't create dependency at all, especially if you go with the stimulant class. I am able to stop and start my medication as I please. Admittedly, its not fun because my brain becomes... foggy? I lose control of my emotions again and my anger issues come roaring back. My anxiety snowballs and the thousands of thoughts in my head just won't [I]shut the fuck up[/I]. Simple attempts to quantify "smartness" are foolish and unfair, as they make people feel worse about themselves for something that is 1. outside of their control and 2. not the entire measure of a person or their mental capacity. Additionally, and this is a pill that is hard to swallow (as I learned with test scores) being "average" intelligence isn't bad. Its not what you're born with, but what you do with yourself. I've pushed myself, after being on adhd meds and doing a shitload of therapy, from a 2.4 GPA ( with several 2.0's and 2 failed classes in my major) in Uni to possibly being able to finish with above a 3.0 this quarter with two of my classes at about a 3.5. I felt dumb, too. I was getting incredibly poor grades on tests despite studying hard, and struggled to ever get things done. I have been in your boat, mate. I almost lost the dream that I have had since I was a wee lad, that being getting my degree in what essentially amounts (literally) to rocket science. Here's one of my favorite quotes that keeps me studying and working on my music production side-career on the hard days: [QUOTE]Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "Press On!" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.[/QUOTE] The key is to carefully consider the options and do your research. As I've mentioned before, my parents made me feel like shit for wanting to seek help and at one point withheld my insurance card. In order to convince them, I bought 2-3 books on ADHD (for people with ADHD) and read through them. Within they cover treatment methods, from medication to CBT (hint: medication is the only solution that stands alone, CBT+Meds are most effective). It even covers medication types. I can elaborate on this more, if you like. But I can say that adderall has been brutally effective in improving me. I managed to hold a job, for one, and with medication and therapy I managed to overcome my really bad obsessive-compulsive tendencies (I was late to work 2x because I would go back and touch the stove and lights multiple times to make sure they were off). I find my mood is in general stabilized, and that my mind follows in the direction that I point it- I can choose to focus, what to focus on, and I can maintain that focus. My anger issues, as I've mentioned, have gone away. There are a number of smaller effects, too. Yeah, its fucking tough. No, ADHD isn't a gift and there aren't upsides- but with medication those traits of hyperfocus and creativity can be focused and applied, leveling the playing field. Your posts seem to be someone with intelligence, and as mentioned the Dunning-Kreuger effect is especially goddamn real. Admitting that you have much to learn and that you can improve is so much of a first step, and intelligence comes not in the form of an inborn trait, but in learning to admit one's wrongdoings, work to fix your errors, and always be willing to learn and improve. You are doing all this. You're a damn sight more intelligent than half the idiots I go to school with, trust me there. You can achieve all those effects you mentioned: learning on par with others, clearing what may feel like a muddy mind, and stabilizing your emotions. But not with nootropics. That is pseudo-science. You may not have ADHD, or some other common mental disorder. But if your mental health professional is recommending that you use medication, than they are doing so after having assessed all of the risks including addiction and dependency (which by the way, is really quite rare despite what you may think). They don't neuter a part of your brain at all. Its terrifying, really, knowing that you may have a mental issue that is going to be a lifelong fight and may require medication for you to be the best you can be. But don't let this fear chase you away from the solution, because then you'll have gone nowhere. You can improve, and I'm sure you will improve, but wounding yourself over your worries about how intelligent you are compared to everyone else just makes you feel worse and nootropics, when they don't work, will be the ultimate defeat that will hurt you even more.

How do you deal with feeling alienated from people you really want to know and spend time with Living authentically is very important to me but I feel like I'm way too different for anyone to want to know me and be my friend

any hypomanics out there?

I'm now literally back in the same position I was a year ago. Everything just really sucks, again.

I feel surprisingly lonely despite being with people most of the time. I don't feel like I've come any close to any of them. I don't have many, and I don't have those few close ones either. I've noticed that my need for physical contact has also increased. I crashed at one of my friends place two times the past month and it feels surprisingly comfortable sharing bed with her. it feels rather safe. another friend of mine who I've unfortunately developed some feelings for crashed at my place this weekend, and that just feels even better. I notice that it feels really good just sleeping with someone you really like. unfortunately I don't think this'll get anywhere. and since that won't get anywhere most likely, I also have no chance of experiencing this that often yet. I think it was for the better that I had forgotten how good all of this feels, would be better to be introduced to it when something would actually develop from it.

Why is nothing improving? Man Im giving up hope or having difficulty keeping it. The best way to solve some problems is if they never occurred.

[QUOTE=Exho;49256329]I don't know your friend but most logical thinking people wouldn't move right in with a new SO, its just risky. You're overthinking it[/QUOTE] We can all thank my asshole parents for even planting that idea in my head to begin with. The other day they told me "What if ur friend gets a boyfriend? she wont want to live with u." See this is how they get me down and hold me back: They give me unnecessary things to worry about, they're manipulative, and they scold me for wanting to move out to begin with. Fuck my parents.

[QUOTE=Jho;49258528]I'm now literally back in the same position I was a year ago. Everything just really sucks, again.[/QUOTE] I haven't left my dark place for like 4 years now :C [editline]6th December 2015[/editline] [QUOTE=PredGD;49258729]I feel surprisingly lonely despite being with people most of the time. I don't feel like I've come any close to any of them. I don't have many, and I don't have those few close ones either. I've noticed that my need for physical contact has also increased. I crashed at one of my friends place two times the past month and it feels surprisingly comfortable sharing bed with her. it feels rather safe. another friend of mine who I've unfortunately developed some feelings for crashed at my place this weekend, and that just feels even better. I notice that it feels really good just sleeping with someone you really like. unfortunately I don't think this'll get anywhere. and since that won't get anywhere most likely, I also have no chance of experiencing this that often yet. I think it was for the better that I had forgotten how good all of this feels, would be better to be introduced to it when something would actually develop from it.[/QUOTE] Don't give up, it might get somewhere!

I have to use the bathroom more frequently, which I believe is a side effect of the Prozac; I remember this side effect happening when I took Prozac in the past. Anyone know why exactly it happens?