Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

I notice that social relations are pretty tough to maintain. it's okay enough when you only got a few close ones that you can contact every now and then, but when that circle starts growing? oops, I forgot that one friend. oops, forgot xmas present for you! oh, did I forget to invite you to a party? you feeling replaced? ugh I suppose it's great that my social circle is growing, but man, it's hard to please everyone. it puts stress on me

I can't enjoy anything anymore. It's been almost three weeks since I last saw my girlfriend, and over a week since we started this 'two week break' that she wanted. I'm completely alone. I don't have any friends near me.

[QUOTE=kijji;49281525]I still need to find a hobby besides gaming :s:[/QUOTE] When finding a hobby: Don't waste your time wondering too much about if you will like it in the end. If it interests you, then give it a go.

I feel like I have a lot of worries even though I can't really find any of them. did I say something to someone who may have perceived it as something negative lately? have I forgotten something, like paying a bill? has someone stolen anything from me that I haven't noticed? have I lost something? maybe I should write down anything of importance, but I imagine that'll be a quite long list to fill everyday, and even then, how do I deem how important something is in the moment? it could prove to be important later but not in the moment. I feel like I lack an overview of my life

anyone here suffer from persistent depersonalization?

[QUOTE=PredGD;49283137]anyone here suffer from persistent depersonalization?[/QUOTE] ye in my case, the regions of my brain that handle emotional regulation, etc. are literally damaged due to years of chronic stress during my formative years so even mild anxiety results in severe depersonalization which sucks thank god i only get stressed in very specific situations lmao

[QUOTE=PredGD;49283137]anyone here suffer from persistent depersonalization?[/QUOTE] What do you mean by that? I know for a fact that I see myself much more overweight/shorter than I really am, I've been told I'm thin and sickly looking when I don't think I am at all... size six jeans isn't a small size. To me that's too big. and thats a form of depersonalization.

This issue Im dealing with is bullshit. Depression and other stuff is killing me. Lot of you talk about suicide. When death comes, you aint going want it.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49283356]What do you mean by that? I know for a fact that I see myself much more overweight/shorter than I really am, I've been told I'm thin and sickly looking when I don't think I am at all... size six jeans isn't a small size. To me that's too big. and thats a form of depersonalization.[/QUOTE] I don't think we're thinking of the same stuff. depersonalisation is when you feel like you're not in control of your actions, that you're not you, that the world feels unreal and dreamy, and so on. everyone can experience depersonalisation from time to time, but it often passes in maybe minutes or hours. when it becomes persistent and never goes away, it turns into a depersonalisation disorder which is a dissociative disorder which can be pretty handicapping. [editline]10th December 2015[/editline] I think it also can be considered a disorder if it can easily be triggered, though I'm not sure.

Whats it called when people physically see themselves as worse or better than they really are?

[QUOTE=Paranoia10;49281759]Started cutting for the first time since June I'm losing myself, my mind, everything I'm close to the edge but I can't go past it I don't have the balls[/QUOTE] I'm bad at giving advice but maybe someone else in the thread can help. What happened? :(

[QUOTE=Schmaaa;49270439]I hate where I am right now. Everything about it. I'm depressed, I have no self-confidence, I'm constantly guilty about everything even if it's not my fault, I'm not succeeding, everyone else is doing miles better than I am, I hate this area, I hate this weather, I hate this hick-fucking meth-addict populated shit stain that I live in. I fantasize about jumping in a car and just going wherever the fuck. or just dying. I honestly wondered the other day about whether jumping off a local bridge (about 100 feet high at least) would kill me instantly, or if I would have to deal with drowning or freezing to death in the river below.[/QUOTE] I swore I remember you saying you're from West Virginia aren't you? I know how you feel. lol

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49283955]Whats it called when people physically see themselves as worse or better than they really are?[/QUOTE] Dunning–Kruger effect Who is the new avatar? [video=youtube;uX2WsPLeQHQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uX2WsPLeQHQ[/video] relevant I think Im beyond saving. Like I said, the whole situation is stupid.

no christmas tree this year not that it's absolutely necessary since the one and only child moved out last summer, but still

[QUOTE=JohhnyCarson;49284300]Dunning–Kruger effect Who is the new avatar? [video=youtube;uX2WsPLeQHQ]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uX2WsPLeQHQ[/video] relevant[/QUOTE] Ghost bc. is the new avatar.

i looked them up. I like them

I take Abilify and Wellbutrin I recently got on the Wellbutrin and wow it has done something over the past five weeks. I'm back to playing video games and watching TV shows. It's been a good year since I've really touched a video game. Been playing Fallout 4

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Gah. 'Knew something soon would push me to rant. I live a decent life, I have a nice family and friends that support me, (I really do love them all, please don't let that send the wrong message) I have decent skills at what I do that can make people happy... But despite all this I still feel dreadfully empty. I've gotten help to the point of being put into a Psych Ward for about half a week before being forced to get a therapist. Because I have to work night-shifts now to justify living with my family still, I can't make any appointments anymore due to my sleep schedule and energy levels, so I haven't seen him in about 4+ months. So many trivial things love to set it off too. All the tools to get better are in front of me but despite all this I just can't care. I hate it, and I want to have this 12-year mental storm to end, but for some reason I just can't push. I hate typing all these 'I's but Christ I don't know if I'm just some spoiled, ungrateful sack of shit or just too hard-headed for anything to phase me. My sincerest apologies if this really comes off as being an ingrate. Whenever I vent to my friends I do it too much to the point where their moods are downed for the day

I don't know if I have much time left. I'm losing hope and will to stay around fast. Lots of people will probably be devastated when I kill myself but I can't make myself care. I'm starting to resent everyone around me for having kept me alive so long. It's not worth it.

[QUOTE=AtomicSans;49287924]I don't know if I have much time left. I'm losing hope and will to stay around fast. Lots of people will probably be devastated when I kill myself but I can't make myself care. I'm starting to resent everyone around me for having kept me alive so long. It's not worth it.[/QUOTE] The thing is, you might think you don't have much time left, but I was in the same boat regarding university. I thought they would kick me out in the first semester because of the shit grades and whatnot. After failing with the first math exams and some other stuff, I gave up kinda everything for a month, but then somebody told me they only kick you out if you still have shit grades at the 4th semester. At this point I had to realise that I have time to fix it, even with this bad start. [editline]10th December 2015[/editline] Believe me, killing yourself is not a solution. [editline]10th December 2015[/editline] We live in an age where instant gratification distorts our view about hard earned shit. It takes time to do something worthwile, and it's fucking devastating to not see progress at all, but when you look at the picture from a bigger scale, you'll see you stepped farther away from where you started. Emotions can hinder your progress, thus applying a little discipline will help to keep things on track. Even then, we all are lazy shitty morons. That's okay. Keep resting for a minute or two, but then go back doing what you have to do. You have all the tools and time to do shit.

Gonna get evaluated for ADHD in the beginning of January.

Does depression lead to degradation of intelligence? Eg criticism = more hard work = unknown continuation of frustration, therefore avoid situation, but in a non depressed person I would imagine it would be more like, criticism = answers = hard work = results. In other words negative emotions lead to someone avoiding memories that could help them with something rather than seeing that memory for what it is. A depressed person will try to avoid an error by separating them selves as much as possible from the topic out embarrassment. I think I have that inferiority/superiority complex issue, where in if I'm incorrect in my thinking, I'll try to defend myself from the embarrassment by being more aggressive and dismissive in order to recover from a feeling of inferiority which leads to more emotional arguments that aren't logical. I think I have to get rid of this idiotic idea in my head that I'm an expert on everything. An idiot doesn't know they're an idiot because their ego tells them otherwise.

I was wondering if any one here would talk one to one with me. I've been told that I bug my friends too much with my personal problems. I'm having issues feeling lonely and I don't know what to do. I rather not rant on this thread but if some one would just talk to me and listen I would really appreciate it.

[QUOTE=Jacob_sword;49290199]I was wondering if any one here would talk one to one with me. I've been told that I bug my friends too much with my personal problems. I'm having issues feeling lonely and I don't know what to do. I rather not rant on this thread but if some one would just talk to me and listen I would really appreciate it.[/QUOTE] PM me if you want. [QUOTE] October 2011 3,605 Posts Steam Profile YouTube Channel Does depression lead to degradation of intelligence? Eg criticism = more hard work = unknown continuation of frustration, therefore avoid situation, but in a non depressed person I would imagine it would be more like, criticism = answers = hard work = results. In other words negative emotions lead to someone avoiding memories that could help them with something rather than seeing that memory for what it is. A depressed person will try to avoid an error by separating them selves as much as possible from the topic out embarrassment. I think I have that inferiority/superiority complex issue, where in if I'm incorrect in my thinking, I'll try to defend myself from the embarrassment by being more aggressive and dismissive in order to recover from a feeling of inferiority which leads to more emotional arguments that aren't logical. I think I have to get rid of this idiotic idea in my head that I'm an expert on everything. An idiot doesn't know they're an idiot because their ego tells them otherwise.[/QUOTE] A wise man once said "I know nothing." You realizing you have a self destructive tendency and working on eliminating it, is a sign of wisdom as well.

not looking forward to tomorrow that much. I'm hosting a small celebration due to my birthday last week, so I've invited 5 others I consider fairly close. I originally invited 7, but two of them aren't showing up. first time I'm hosting so I'm pretty anxious. I gotta control music, food, snacks, greeting everyone, we're staying at my place, and so on. I don't really know one of the girls that's coming over either, I've met her twice before, though I think she seems pretty cool. a friend of mine I consider close invited her which I found okay, but still, not that fun to meet new people. I imagine alcohol will make it better as the night goes along, but I'm not looking forward to the beginning of the night. oh well. I don't suppose any of you got any advice on how to get the night going? I imagine two of them will arrive before the others, and I plan on ordering pizza so I think that's a good conversation starter haha. ask what kind of pizza they want to get their opinion before we decide with everyone else.

Not even a week in and I feel pretty good atm, a bit too hyper for my tastes though Hopefully hyperactivity and (stupid fucking) insomnia are just side effects that'll wear off on their own

Met up with my friend and spent a few lovely hours with her, and man, has it put things in perspective. My definate, 100% biggest regret in life is not being there for her when her kid was born and when her kid was growing up, I really want to kick myself for letting the friendship slip so much over the last 10 years, compared to that, my ex is nobody, she's nothing. Can't change the past, but I can control what I do in the future, and I'm never gonna let it fucking slip like that again. So I'm going to be focusing all my care, attention and help to someone who bloody well deserves it, even if it means I never get in a relationship because I'm too busy helping her out to even look, I don't care, it's worth to me. No matter what, she'll always have me to have her back, help out and be there for her, because she was the best friend I ever had, and I hate that thigns slipped even though it was nobodies fault. We reconnected and we're closer now than ever before, but at the same time, still the same people we knew in college.

[QUOTE=PredGD;49283137]anyone here suffer from persistent depersonalization?[/QUOTE] Yep, I've had it for a while. The worst part? I'm sixteen - I shouldn't even [I]have[/I] it. It started for me when I stayed up past 24 hours from anxiety (lots of stress) and I believe that completely depleted chemicals in my brain (or something) and threw everything out of whack, and I haven't been sleeping as well since. Generally speaking, I can say that sleeping at the same time everyday helps it out a lot. Over the course of 8+ months of having this, it's improved drastically. You can try the same, but I think it depends on what triggered it. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with clinical depression, so it's not as uncommon as you think and you're definitely not alone. How long would you say you've had depersonalization / DR? Would you say it fits the criteria for DPD in your case?

I didn't realize until I took a new selfie how thin I actually was. I still sometimes see myself as super fat when I'm not and its very bizzare to me. I used to be a pretty heavy girl, like I'm sure I've mentioned this before I was pretty much 180-190 almost 200 lbs. Part of my low self confidence was from people telling me over the years that I was fat and ugly so it stood in the back of my head even to this day I still thought that people were constantly judging my appearance. When in reality: no one gives a shit what I look like and those that nitpick me are fucking idiots. I was always thinking: Well I don't want to be stubborn and big-headed! I gotta be open to criticism! And while that is true, for whatever reason my mindset (until now) was: "Criticism includes people who call me fucking hideous." Idk if anyone else struggles with appearance issues here. But I know how you feel. [editline]11th December 2015[/editline] >Basically people see you as maybe 30% more attractive than you think you are.