Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=Kommodore;48671576]yo listen up this is called hypervigilance. it's a completely predictable part of the panic reflex and the panic attack scenario for shitloads of people and it evolves into these hypochondriac fantasies you're talking about. went through exactly the same thing as a teenager. the panic attacks will go away eventually but in the meantime there are a couple things to know about them. first of all, panic works like fight or flight. the best thing you can do during an episode where you're monitoring your heartbeat and it escalates to panic is to leave the place it started. go for a walk, sit on your front steps, whatever. the second thing is that 99% of people can't will themselves into a heart attack. what you're going through is completely mundane. was at my gf's house a few months ago and her roommate had a panic attack and actually called an ambulance thinking it was heart stuff. you're gonna be fine. it would really behoove you to see a doctor about it too, i'm amazed they haven't told you any of this. they will prescribe you xanax, which you only have to take during panic attacks and will totally subdue them and make you feel a million times better.[/QUOTE] When I did see a few doctors after my panic attacks (on the same day each time) they basically made me out to be some sort of idiot for being scared for apparently no reason. My actual doctor was alright about it and he went out of his way to get an ECG done for me to prove I'm really okay and he also tried to get me to humour it almost to feel a bit better but still kinda said the same thing as the others, there's nothing wrong with you, you can go now.

I've made serious change in my life and takes about my problems in every detail but i still feel broken and sub human. This is a vague question but what do I do to feel like I can do what I need to do and that those things will matter? Take me where I'm needed next. I've been lost for 8-12 months now and everything just seems shallow yet so distant. [editline]15th September 2015[/editline] Maybe longer depending on how you want to measure it.

Hey peeps, first time I've posted in here, but i kind of need some advice. My mania/depression has gone a little crazy since moving to uni, as in its the worst it's ever been and I'm struggling to socialise properly. I either act like a confident dick, which is alright until I start pissing people off, or I have a complete lack of energy, so i might as not be out of my room. I usually have a fairly good handle on things, but I just can't seem to get this under control, and I don't want to medicate because fuck meds. Any advice?

[QUOTE=Cam00;48686636]Hey peeps, first time I've posted in here, but i kind of need some advice. My mania/depression has gone a little crazy since moving to uni, as in its the worst it's ever been and I'm struggling to socialise properly. I either act like a confident dick, which is alright until I start pissing people off, or I have a complete lack of energy, so i might as not be out of my room. I usually have a fairly good handle on things, but I just can't seem to get this under control, and I don't want to medicate because fuck meds. Any advice?[/QUOTE] Try looking into mindfulness meditation? It's what I do now that I'm in college and can't reliably self-med anymore. It helps.

School has started again and my social anxiety is so bad. I'm in a class of completely new people (and they're mostly girls which makes it even worse) and i'm sitting in the front row. I feel like everyone is looking at me and can't even turn my head around.I barely even know any of their fucking faces.

second day of 4th year of uni and i could only withstand one hour after which I bolted off oh no, no bullying or any of that stuff, it's just i can't fucking stand being near happy people all the time you all so well fucking rested after a whole summer with your loved ones now everyone's asking hey why did you leave and i can't even respond

I'm assuming this is a common thing, but I would like to know if any of you do this too? Like when I feel really down or anxious for no apparent reason I start playing scenarios in my head of terrible shit happening and imagining what it would be like to have like an "actual" reason to feel as bad as if I feel guilty for being such a depressed wreck.

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48688173]I'm assuming this is a common thing, but I would like to know if any of you do this too? Like when I feel really down or anxious for no apparent reason I start playing scenarios in my head of terrible shit happening and imagining what it would be like to have like an "actual" reason to feel as bad as if I feel guilty for being such a depressed wreck.[/QUOTE] I can tell you that I do this. And I am sure that many many people do it, even people who aren't depressed.

[QUOTE=PelPix123;48688277]Trauma is...interesting. I've always been a kind of meek, guarded person. When I was little (like 8), I had a near-drowning experience. When I remember it, I'm not scared. I didn't develop any new phobias, I don't consider it that remarkable at all from the inside, but nonetheless, the change in my personality from outgoing to meek is very explicit. I didn't even notice myself, and even now, I have to struggle not to consider the experience trivial, but it's clear that, somehow beyond my understanding, it was one of the most traumatic things I ever went through. Root causes are not always obvious.[/QUOTE] I think exploring that event in a safe place (like with a therapist or friend) would give you a chance to process it in a healthy way. You might find that it isn't so heavy if you do that.

Seeing a private psychologist on thursday and I'm supposed to get to see a therapist via the state welfare this month. I ran out of mirtazapine and I barely noticed, and I could probably quit sertraline too and not notice. I hate that they just put me on anti-depressants and gave me an appointment with a doctor once a month, yeah I'm not suicidal or dangerous but if I don't get help I'm gonna sit here in my moms apartment, without a job or any life worth talking about until I do end up killing myself.

I don't usually like to post like this but please tell me there's someone else here who was sheltered off from society their entire life. I can't be alone in this, there's no way this is possible. I don't know anyone that actually gets this shit. I feel like it's stuck with me until the grave, even if I actually escape this kind of emotional shitshow (and in fact, i'm in the middle of that) I'm so lost. I don't think there's anything to get out of conversation or interaction with people anymore but I still don't know how to help myself. I wish I just knew someone to take example from but my case is too specific. I just had an extremely lonely childhood and I still have an extremely lonely life and I'm only now able to do something about it.

[QUOTE=Systema;48690247]I don't usually like to post like this but please tell me there's someone else here who was sheltered off from society their entire life. I can't be alone in this, there's no way this is possible. I don't know anyone that actually gets this shit. I feel like it's stuck with me until the grave, even if I actually escape this kind of emotional shitshow (and in fact, i'm in the middle of that) I'm so lost. I don't think there's anything to get out of conversation or interaction with people anymore but I still don't know how to help myself. I wish I just knew someone to take example from but my case is too specific. I just had an extremely lonely childhood and I still have an extremely lonely life and I'm only now able to do something about it.[/QUOTE] You're not alone. What you've said resonated a lot with my own story, like you I've also lived sheltered and away from people my age, I've also dealt with emotional outbursts throughout my life, I've also felt like I didn't know what to do to help myself and I've also felt like there was no way out. Not to say that everything's fine and dandy now, far from it in fact, but I did manage to reach some new level of clarity that keeps me holding on to life, in spite my neurosis came back with nothing short of lethal intent. But that's what this kind of thing is, some kind of construct in your head, an insignificant piece of yourself that somehow takes over your mind without you realising. If you wanna talk, I'll listen man.

[QUOTE=Phil5991;48690859]You're not alone. What you've said resonated a lot with my own story, like you I've also lived sheltered and away from people my age, I've also dealt with emotional outbursts throughout my life, I've also felt like I didn't know what to do to help myself and I've also felt like there was no way out. Not to say that everything's fine and dandy now, far from it in fact, but I did manage to reach some new level of clarity that keeps me holding on to life, in spite my neurosis came back with nothing short of lethal intent. But that's what this kind of thing is, some kind of construct in your head, an insignificant piece of yourself that somehow takes over your mind without you realising. If you wanna talk, I'll listen man.[/QUOTE] I was pretty much homeschooled in a little house in a little neighborhood in Georgia because my parents asked me whether I wanted to be schooled at home or in public, and I chose the former. I had two brothers who were both teenagers at the time and my mom and my dad and the pets and pretty much nothing else. I would go into stores with my mom and all that but I never had any real extensive, meaningful interaction with other kids. and I still haven't had that with anyone my age in real life, either. you can totally credit technology to some of the latter period, for the better or worse. now I'm kind of at a stage in life where I don't really believe in people. I've had more than enough serious, personal conversation with majority of people I know. My mom and dad let me down because of how I was raised, my brother let me down because of him stopping our DIY home business that was coming along fine. my other brother let me down because of him leaving the family, and my ex pretty much let me down because of presenting me so much promise and then shelving all plans and breaking up a month prior to me being about to visit, but you gotta do things for yourself sometimes, so that's ok. It's just hard to let faith in yourself matter when restoring your loneliness when it requires faith in other people just as much to fulfill that. all that being said they're fine, wonderful people. now I have a job as a courtesy clerk coming up soon and hopefully I can get a bit of humanity restored by just interacting with people and being nice with everyone, and then maybe some new social opportunities will roll around. but, that still won't enable you leave that youth loneliness behind yourself. because no matter what it's practically a part of you that's gonna ride until the end. coming to terms with that is one of the hardest personal experiences I have to go through right now, and being the fact i'm still coming of age, emotionally confused and developing into a young adult isn't helping ease anything. I don't think it's something any medication can mute indefinitely and have it work out, it's just basically a lifelong personal battle that i'm waiting for the payoff on. such is neurosis though, right? I've got pretty much everything on my plate and all the tools I need but I just gotta go through with things no matter how overbearing it gets, and I'm starting to doubt the integrity of people experiences being able to help me, but I dunno, maybe things can roll around eventually.

I admitted to my father not too long ago that I've smoked cannabis in the past (at the time I hadn't smoked for 6 months), but decided to buy some more a few days ago with a friend. my mom managed to figure out about my bitcoin transactions and wondered what was up and where my money was going to which I had a hard time finding an excuse for. ended up saying it was a secret. I felt pretty bad about it so I decided to call my mom and asked if she could come over so I could admit to her what I was up to. I told her that dad knew about it so she called him and wanted to know what it was. he didn't tell since it's between me and him. he called me afterwards and said he was disappointed in me that I had picked it up again. ended up crying since I felt like a massive disappointment to him and my mom. I feel like they don't view me as myself anymore, but rather someone who does drugs. not looking forward to tell my mom about this, I'm afraid she'll be as disappointed if not even more than my dad. though I believe she deserves to know. this is the first time I'm open about having done drugs, I've always tried to hide it. I've been afraid to be labelled as a "junkie" even though we're only talking about cannabis here.

just spoke with my mother regarding my drug use, and she was surprisingly positive towards it! she wasn't exactly "positive", but she was far from being negative about it. told me it came like a shock, but otherwise joked about it. she told me she didn't mind at all as long as I was being careful with it and got it from reliable sources.

I can't help but to think that I had a nice face and I've destroyed it. [T]http://i.imgur.com/tYrb6vQ.jpg[/T][T]http://i.imgur.com/g0BphHN.jpg[/T] I try to tell myself that I've had this fear before and my acne product fixed it last time, but I always fear it'll be worse. I really just need to stop picking my face - I could just glance at a mirror and spot one, then move on to smaller and smaller ones, sometimes spending hours.

you look pretty cute tbh

[QUOTE=Talvy;48695630]I can't help but to think that I had a nice face and I've destroyed it. [T]http://i.imgur.com/tYrb6vQ.jpg[/T][T]http://i.imgur.com/g0BphHN.jpg[/T] I try to tell myself that I've had this fear before and my acne product fixed it, but I always fear it'll be much worse. I really need to get rid of my addiction to pick my face. I can just glance at a mirror and spot one, and then move on to the small ones you can't even see. Sometimes I spend hours.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't worry about it to be honest, you'll eventually "grow out of it" so to speak you still look fine

You look good tho, like a mix between bennedict cumberbatch and bjork

Someone else has called me Cumberbatch, I think it was even that same bus photo. I never knew what to think of it. :downs:

[QUOTE=Talvy;48695630]I can't help but to think that I had a nice face and I've destroyed it. [T]http://i.imgur.com/tYrb6vQ.jpg[/T][T]http://i.imgur.com/g0BphHN.jpg[/T] I try to tell myself that I've had this fear before and my acne product fixed it last time, but I always fear it'll be worse. I really just need to stop picking my face - I could just glance at a mirror and spot one, then move on to smaller and smaller ones, sometimes spending hours.[/QUOTE] The general reddish flush of the "new" photo is even [b]cuter[/b] to some, remember!

[QUOTE=Talvy;48696250]Someone else has called me Cumberbatch, I think it was even that same bus photo. I never knew what to think of it. :downs:[/QUOTE] He's got a polarizing look, but the people who like him [I]really[/I] like him plus your features are more reigned in. Honestly, you're an attractive person. Your anxieties should stem from more sensible shit like losing/ not having money or being killed in cold blood by a stranger

I don't think I'm ugly (especially now :smile:), I'm just worried about my habit.

I got skinnier. Those two weeks where I ate nothing sure were effective.

[QUOTE=Systema;48691304]I was pretty much homeschooled in a little house in a little neighborhood in Georgia because my parents asked me whether I wanted to be schooled at home or in public, and I chose the former. I had two brothers who were both teenagers at the time and my mom and my dad and the pets and pretty much nothing else. I would go into stores with my mom and all that but I never had any real extensive, meaningful interaction with other kids. and I still haven't had that with anyone my age in real life, either. you can totally credit technology to some of the latter period, for the better or worse. now I'm kind of at a stage in life where I don't really believe in people. I've had more than enough serious, personal conversation with majority of people I know. My mom and dad let me down because of how I was raised, my brother let me down because of him stopping our DIY home business that was coming along fine. my other brother let me down because of him leaving the family, and my ex pretty much let me down because of presenting me so much promise and then shelving all plans and breaking up a month prior to me being about to visit, but you gotta do things for yourself sometimes, so that's ok. It's just hard to let faith in yourself matter when restoring your loneliness when it requires faith in other people just as much to fulfill that. all that being said they're fine, wonderful people. now I have a job as a courtesy clerk coming up soon and hopefully I can get a bit of humanity restored by just interacting with people and being nice with everyone, and then maybe some new social opportunities will roll around. but, that still won't enable you leave that youth loneliness behind yourself. because no matter what it's practically a part of you that's gonna ride until the end. coming to terms with that is one of the hardest personal experiences I have to go through right now, and being the fact i'm still coming of age, emotionally confused and developing into a young adult isn't helping ease anything. I don't think it's something any medication can mute indefinitely and have it work out, it's just basically a lifelong personal battle that i'm waiting for the payoff on. such is neurosis though, right? I've got pretty much everything on my plate and all the tools I need but I just gotta go through with things no matter how overbearing it gets, and I'm starting to doubt the integrity of people experiences being able to help me, but I dunno, maybe things can roll around eventually.[/QUOTE] Well first off, congratulations are in order for getting a job, it's definitely gonna be a huge help if you connect with the real world. Heck you're already better off than me in one way so far. Second, trying to come to terms with how your life turned out is a tough but necessary part of recovery if you are to let those feelings of self hatred go. I know it's been tough on me. If I can give you a piece of advice, You should try and focus on what made you feel you were better off being homeschooled and away from other kids your age. Now me? I recently discovered that the reason why I always felt I couldn't connect and interact with my peers was because I was a compulsive perfectionist, I always felt I had to do everything right, say everything right, or else a voice inside my own head would remind me of how much of a failure I was, and the thing is, I was so up of my own head all the time, trying to reach impossible standards, I just couldn't give much of a damn about most people around me. Eventually realizing how I would never be as good I thought I should be launched me in a deep depression, causing the voice I mentioned earlier to be even more bitter and vicious, eventually leaving me to aimlessly procrastinate for the past 3 years. Kinda heavy stuff, but when I took a look back at my own life, the fact that this voice, this part of me, was the reason for all the pain I went through... It just kinda made it go away on it's own. As simple as it sounds, that's how it happened. Hell the reason it took so long was because I didn't know the words to express how I felt. Good luck, man. Feel free to tell us more if you feel the need.

Sobotnik is currently trying to kill themselves while talking to me and I have no fucking idea what to do help

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;48699753]Sobotnik is currently trying to kill themselves while talking to me and I have no fucking idea what to do help[/QUOTE] Call someone close to him, a family member or friend. If that's not possible, you may wanna call the police... I think, I'm not sure.

:snip: couldn't do it

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;48699774]Call someone close to him, a family member or friend. If that's not possible, you may wanna call the police... I think, I'm not sure.[/QUOTE] he's in the UK, way the hell away from me, I don't know his family

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;48699815]he's in the UK, way the hell away from me, I don't know his family[/QUOTE] Good luck dude I hope he ends up alright, just know that whatever happens there is only so much you can do