Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;49499702]Well I learn a lot slower than most people which is a disadvantage. [/QUOTE] Me too. :smile: Have anybody tested you? Do you have learning problems or is your learning style holistic or do you have any unresolved trauma or something else? I got the first three ones. Besides of difficulties I'm happy I've got this far and I believe you can do it too. We don't have to be perfect to make our dreams true. [editline]11th January 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=PredGD;49500472] its a little worrying that I've begun taking walks again. I remember taking walks when I started descending into my previous isolation and severe depression as a way to get my thoughts on something else. that these walks are coming back is just a sign to me that the thoughts are becoming too much.[/QUOTE] I think it's a good sign you're able to notice how good or bad you're feeling and you can keep your feelings away by walking. All of us are different and use different ways to survive. Imagination is my thing. Have you ever tried to imagine you as your best friend when you're upset? We're our best friends. When we're feeling bad we know at best how we should be talked or treated to that we feel better again. At first you think or write your anxieties down and then you answer to yourself as your best friend. The aim isn't resolve to situation with your friends - just to make you feel better or help you to bear your upsetting feelings.

sexual dependency is a terrible curse

Bit of a change of pace for me but, is there a drug that can kill or block romantic feelings?. Anyone know, would it be an over the counter thing? [QUOTE=Cha;49506900]Me too. :smile: Have anybody tested you? Do you have learning problems or is your learning style holistic or do you have any unresolved trauma or something else? I got the first three ones. Besides of difficulties I'm happy I've got this far and I believe you can do it too. We don't have to be perfect to make our dreams true. .[/QUOTE] I haven't been tested, but I can see people pick things up faster than me. Look, most people have better working memory than me . In my current easily distracted, lazy mode of thinking I'm not going to be successful at anything. What I need to do is not go "I must be a different type of learner" but rather figure out why my brain isn't taking in and using information like it should and do some brain training until that part of my brain does work properly.

My friend unblocked me, and cried to me, venting about her problems, she apologized. Great. I can still be roomates with her, I think. But now I don't know if I WANT to anymore. Which I'm GLAD that she did that, however every time she shows me she's got more faults than me I am too accepting of them and she's magically okay with herself, yet at the same time she doesn't value my opinion, ever. She only values my opinion when she's crying and sad about herself because I think she's learned that I won't be an asshole to her over faults and that I'm very accepting. And that I'm her friend and I immediately tune out any weird flukes she has because I don't give a shit if she's got flukes. She doesn't always do the same for me. However if I do something as simple as repeat something (I have a bad habit of repeating things that are funny and I guess it pisses everyone the fuck off, especially her and I don't mean to do it, it just happens.) example; Friend: "Kylo ren is a whiny piss baby." Me: "Pissbaby? haha. what the fuck?" IDK she just cringes over every little fluke I have. I stutter a little bit sometimes and I can't help it. She makes me feel inferior. She doesn't have any weird flukes, however she does get super psychotic once in a blue moon. I don't feel like me and her are equal and it hurts. I don't dare call her out on it though because then I'm the asshole. IDK what to do anymore.

Why do I have to have people that would be sad if I died. I know it's inconsiderate and all but I wish that everyone would just say "oh ok that's fine" and move on

And even 4 months later now, I'm still as fucked up from my ex dumping me like she did, after lying to me basically for a few months, including a month to my face, especially everytime she said she loved me.

Bowies really making me miss my ex like crazy Was something we always bonded over. Used to listen to all the album's together, was one of the reasons when we first started going out I knew I really liked her. I thought I mightve heard from her but that's just silly I know I need to move on already but shit like this is just making me hurt.

I had a pretty okay day today. went out to town to meet a friend, was with her for a while, went to a pizza chain and just ordered dessert, then eventually left home. what a surprisingly good day I was thinking, very nice! then the one who complains to me constantly sent me a message. telling me everything sucked. that she was too fat. that she was going to starve herself. any help I try to give gets deflected. my mood is significantly worse now. I really need to talk with her but its going to be hard. if I bring anything up, she'll twist it into something negative against her to further drag herself down, then she'll complain to me about that and bring me down with her. what do I do [editline]12th January 2016[/editline] I spoke to the girl I was with today in town about her as this other girl who is so negative is a common friend of ours, and she agreed with me on so many points. that she was scared to really say anything since she was afraid she'd twist it around and ruin her mood and so on. she really is a minefield. just as an example, if she jokingly mocks you and its with obvious "messing around" vibes and both laugh, that's okay. if you try to jokingly mock her with good vibes, she'll get mad, twist it around, and fall into a depressive episode.

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I feel old and can't help but think of when I was younger I used to look at old people and never thought I'd be like that but now I'm just like them...

apparently they picked up my financial aid request again after complaining, and it got accepted today! sweet! I have no idea how much I'll get exactly yet, but they said they estimated 20'220$ a year. it's not a lot, but I don't have any expenses at all yet other than some minor things like servers and domains, so its gonna be a whole lot of money to spend on whatever, at least for a short while. I'm gonna have to pay rent too, and I pay for all of my food as well but I have managed on a lot less than what I'm going to get for ages now. its gonna be nice to have a reliable flow of income

So glad that humans arent allowed to re-live their life and do it over knowing what they know now. It could have turned out much worse than it is.

I spoke with my therapist as to why I'm such a loner irl but not online: I've had some pretty shit experiences in high school involving "friends," bullying, and sexual assault, and it makes it pretty difficult to really trust people close to me, even my family :cry:

I wish that I was actually good at something.

How am i supposed to feel good if the whole world is shit and everything is fucked? The sea levels will inevitably rise,millions will die and there will be mass migrations,super storms,extreme weather,entire cities disappearing and it's all inevitable. Civilization as we know it won't last even 100 years.What's the point?

considering self-harm yet again

[QUOTE=kijji;49513938]I spoke with my therapist as to why I'm such a loner irl but not online: I've had some pretty shit experiences in high school involving "friends," bullying, and sexual assault, and it makes it pretty difficult to really trust people close to me, even my family :cry:[/QUOTE] Just as long as you keep in mind that you're not alone in this. I was also bullied a lot as well as sexually assaulted back in school.

[QUOTE=FreyasFighter;49514105]Just as long as you keep in mind that you're not alone in this. I was also bullied a lot as well as sexually assaulted back in school.[/QUOTE] I'm always asked why I don't have a lot of friends irl or why I don't go out, makes me feel abnormal

i cant even look at people anymore. i just look down at the ground and walk with my hood up recently. my self esteem is super low and i have no one to talk to, i havent opened my mouth to speak in days

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;49507909] Look, most people have better working memory than me . In my current easily distracted, lazy mode of thinking I'm not going to be successful at anything. What I need to do is not go "I must be a different type of learner" but rather figure out why my brain isn't taking in and using information like it should and do some brain training until that part of my brain does work properly.[/QUOTE] Sounds like a plan to me. :smile: Go for it!

[QUOTE=KillRay;49514513]i cant even look at people anymore. i just look down at the ground and walk with my hood up recently. my self esteem is super low and i have no one to talk to, i havent opened my mouth to speak in days[/QUOTE] yeah, I tear up all the time when walking past groups of people or if walking past someone on a really long street and I've seen them coming for a while so now I just look at the ground most of the time

the worst thing I find about humans is that we emotionally tie ourselves to people we enjoy being with and its never guaranteed that it's mutual. I have a friend who I consider close who also happens to be the one who constantly drags me down, and I'm positive that my relation to her is a lot stronger than hers to mine. it hurts since she doesn't show the same level of interest in hanging out, keeping a conversation going and so on.

[QUOTE=diobono;49514038] The sea levels will inevitably rise,millions will die and there will be mass migrations,super storms,extreme weather,entire cities disappearing and it's all inevitable. Civilization as we know it won't last even 100 years.What's the point?[/QUOTE] If you honestly believe this then stop watching TV.

I have fallen into deep depression regarding my ex. I was the one to break up with her, but I haven't gotten over it. I wanted to see her again and she already has a new boyfriend. She told me she hated me and hope I keep hurting. She was never mean to me, for over a year we dated and she was my best friend. To have her say such things give me pain like no other. I can't sleep, barely eat. My chest just hurts all the time. I feel so alone now, and it's a small town so she is everywhere. I know this will go away, but what if I don't make it to that point? Having crazy serious thoughts that are concerning me. Not about suicide. Just about giving up, moving, quitting my job, just.. stopping.

Depression and health keeps getting worse and worse. I'm too tired for anything anymore.

First two days of work thus far and my only words of advice for anyone shopping for furniture: For the love of fucking christ, buy an Ottoman couch with a back-piece, and set fire to any recliner you find. It makes our jobs in the warehouse so much easier, and ensures that your warehouse jockeys are not having couches drop on them on accident when offloading from trucks.

Got back to school and had a breakdown mid class Went to perform at an open Mic and bombed harder than I've ever bombed in my life Feeling incredibly down on the world. The one thing I thought I was any good at and thought I had a handle of I fucked up :v:

I'm worried about going back to Jail and flunking School. I have a warrant for failure-to-pay for a ticket. I wasn't able to make the full payment, and she explained to me that it needed to be in total for it to count, though I managed most of it. I was hoping that being a Student, and a fulltime worker would be taken into consideration for payment arrangements, but they will have non of it. It's all or nothing. I have the rest of the money for the ticket, and I'm only [I]two weeks[/I] overdue, but now with this FTA charge, I'll be arrested if I enter the City Hall to pay it. There is no way they will OR me. I have no community ties. It could be months before a trial, and then they'll just give me time-served. I asked over the phone about turning myself in, and there are no options that allow me to be free, attend School, and make payments. This has been causing me extreme anguish. Just felt like venting.

So with all the cash I spent trying to do everything I could to keep my girlfriend, I'm now over 1,200 dollars in debt, with no car, no phone, and my family living across the state. gr8

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