Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

Finally decided to call my family doctor nearby and schedule an appointment. I don't know if he's qualified to diagnose me with depression or prescribe me medication, but hopefully he can at least direct me towards some psychiatrists nearby that'll take my dad's insurance. It actually feels kinda nice just to know that I might be getting help soon. So I'm kinda feeling okay tonight, and I'm hoping it'll last through tomorrow as well Also this shit had me cracking up for five minutes straight holy shit: [img]http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/076/821/055.jpg[/img]

Gonna post a pic of my grandfather when he was in the Marines just for the hell of it, helps me cope to share I guess [t]https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpt1/v/t1.0-9/12717445_543746755786992_8633180414488319381_n.jpg?oh=f8f30a1714258a08d7cf671be14a858c&oe=57692111[/t]

so yeah i've never had a job before not a formal job at least, just nebulous money making practices that happen probably 3-5 times a year if i'm lucky. but there is a significant chance that i could work for google or microsoft by the end of the year. i dunno how this is even possible but i'm very thankful for the friends and connections i've made.

I will never understand this "exercise will solve literally all your problems" thing. Sure, it feels nice, but jogging won't cure my social anxiety and it won't take me away from my home in the middle of the fucking forest lightyears away from civilization. My parents won't shut up about it, they if anyone should know how little exercise will affect my wellbeing.

[QUOTE=Flubbman;49712087]I will never understand this "exercise will solve literally all your problems" thing. Sure, it feels nice, but jogging won't cure my social anxiety and it won't take me away from my home in the middle of the fucking forest lightyears away from civilization. My parents won't shut up about it, they if anyone should know how little exercise will affect my wellbeing.[/QUOTE] Exercise lowers your stress and it's good way to vent. It won't solve anything by itself.

Its my birthday today and I can't even leave my bed I feel so afraid of dealing with the world I fucking hate winter birthdays. I've had maybe 2 happy birthdays in my life

Been battling 6 years depression. Pretty strong psychosis that has given med delusions, a lot of sound and mild hallucinations thanks to extreme childhood/youth situations. Last year it went worse, I become very paranoid and lost touch with everyone, on the brink of fucking everything up. Several diagnosis such as Asperger, Tourette (almost gone, yay), and OCD. Extreme nightmares that makes me afraid to fall asleep; waking up terrified, sweaty and cold. I usually drink a lot of water and sit on the soffa to calm me down. This usually happens 2-4 a week and they're extreme. These 4 last months has been different. The psychosis stuff is still here (not schizo), but I've unlocked something within me. At first I started to not give a shit, about my life or anyone else, and that made everything feel even more hopeless and more motivated to take my life. But these 4 months has been amasing because I've realised that if life has no point, why the fuck should I care about problems, I just do whatever I want. My self-confidence has risen, I'm far more emotionaly strong and I actually do stuff, like exploring new hobbies, meeting new people. Because I simply don't give a fuck. That's the key to life, just don't give a fuck. Not about what people think of you, or most importantly what you think about yourself. Tell yourself this: "Stop be such a faggot, win you moron, fuck shit up, you're better than anyone of these losers because they suck and you don't" [T]http://static.tumblr.com/pobvajn/zfjm31tnb/tonysblimp.jpg[/T] [B]This is what I did in 3 and a half month:[/B] - The first thing I did was to bungy jump - Went to Australia (Sydney & Melbourne) - Lost my virginity - Stopped smoking weed - Fixed several friendships (need to do more though) - Bought a dog (German shepard) - Went on my first good date (may not work but I'll move on) - Started playing Airsoft - Actually working out like I haven't since 9th grade - Went from burgers and pizza to sushi 1-3 times a week - Sold my car and started to walk, bicycle and taking the bus - Got my pyrotechnic licens for my occupation which is the film industry - Lots of illegal activities. Not a positive thing but it makes me feel alive (I've never liked adrenalin before!) - My increased activity has given me a nice promotion - Also fuck medication, it's like placing a big fat lie on your face [B]So my next goals is this:[/B] - Fix another date - Go to China, and if I have the balls I spend a year by walking as much as I can, and make a Facepunch thread with pictures for you - Reach 154 lbs (195 right now, 14 lbs done so far :v:) - Get a better apartment - In a few weeks I'm going to New Zealand for a specialized education for filming (maybe spend 1 or 3 years, depending if I want the master degree) Is this economically possible? Fuck yeah it is. Probably because I live in Sweden. There's no way you can tell a depressed person to feel better, because you can't tell cancer to fuck off. But when it breaks you on the point where you can't mentaly take it anymore, something clicks in that little mushroom head of yours and I say fuck depression; because in my position I can and I stomp on that motherfucker. I don't know if this is actually a healthy thing, but atleast I'm happy like a rabbit mating. Peace out.

Same old shit but its starting to really make me have a panic attack. Mom's been guilt tripping me, step dad's been provoking me and harassing me, doing nasty shit while I sleep (masturbating, farting, burping, and yelling, right outside my door) it's like he waits until im asleep to do this shit, RIGHT OUTSIDE MY CLOSET BEDROOM DOOR. Brother was diagnosed with tourettes and constantly makes female orgasm noises every two seconds, dad is dying, the house is disgusting, parents are becoming more alcoholic, playing mind games with me and breaking my self confidence/ self worth, only to build it up when I cry. There is so much shit going on and I have no escape.

I'm really looking forward to my subscription boxes arriving tomorrow; I need the lift-me-up after all the crap these past few weeks.

[QUOTE=Doritos_Man;49707514]Finally went to the Psychiatrist and had an ADHD assessment done. Turns out I'm ADHD-PI, so she prescribed me some Wellbutrin and scheduled an appointment in a month to see how it's working for me.[/QUOTE] Prepare for some of the common side effects- mostly, make sure to eat fiber :v: the majority are benign, and you might feel some mindfog plus have light headaches. Drink lots of water. Any reason they went with wellbutrin over stimulants? Wellbutrin is not as strong of a dopamine reuptake inhibitor, but if depression is something you're dealing with right now I totally get it. The comedown off IR used to result in the worst emotional pain episodes for me. also, no googling! Talk to your psych if a side effect worries you. Outside of a rash and symptoms of an allergic reaction, nothing much to really worry about.

[QUOTE=Flubbman;49712087]I will never understand this "exercise will solve literally all your problems" thing. Sure, it feels nice, but jogging won't cure my social anxiety and it won't take me away from my home in the middle of the fucking forest lightyears away from civilization. My parents won't shut up about it, they if anyone should know how little exercise will affect my wellbeing.[/QUOTE] runnings terrible. Running only ever makes me feel good when i hit that "runners high" level, which usually kicks in between mile 3 to mile 5 on a 8 mile formation run. Which still sucks. At best you can get the same "ahhh" feeling by having a giant cup of coffee on a good day. So unless your running all the time, long distance, its probably just going to make you feel terrible. Lifting. Lifting is a way better stress reliever. Dont have the energy? Fuck it, take pre-work out, than you'll HAVE to go do something physical for 30 minutes.

Also, remember that for ADHD medications are a tool that allow you to build habits! Now is the time to get your workflow together. As a fellow PI type, I know how great it can feel to just be "present" mentally but its pretty important you use your momentum now. I use asana.com to manage my tasks and keep a running list of HW. [url]http://www.forestapp.cc/[/url] this app is brutally effective in keeping me focused in the library. I can't kill little trees! Give it a short. Strict workflow and/or a pomodoro timer is what I use when on a computer. Also, this is my daily routine for having enough energy to work on music/programming/hobbies/etc [url]https://www.reddit.com/r/getdisciplined/comments/3l1ykm/advice_11_ways_to_find_energy_for_your_side/[/url] [editline]10th February 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=ScoutKing;49716312]runnings terrible. Running only ever makes me feel good when i hit that "runners high" level, which usually kicks in between mile 3 to mile 5 on a 8 mile formation run. Which still sucks. At best you can get the same "ahhh" feeling by having a giant cup of coffee on a good day. So unless your running all the time, long distance, its probably just going to make you feel terrible. Lifting. Lifting is a way better stress reliever. Dont have the energy? Fuck it, take pre-work out, than you'll HAVE to go do something physical for 30 minutes.[/QUOTE] This is highly subjective, tbh. Some people really like running, and running for your required PT is not the same as trail running. Trail running can be a highly pleasurable experience.

[QUOTE=paindoc;49716309]Prepare for some of the common side effects- mostly, make sure to eat fiber :v: the majority are benign, and you might feel some mindfog plus have light headaches. Drink lots of water. Any reason they went with wellbutrin over stimulants? Wellbutrin is not as strong of a dopamine reuptake inhibitor, but if depression is something you're dealing with right now I totally get it. The comedown off IR used to result in the worst emotional pain episodes for me. also, no googling! Talk to your psych if a side effect worries you. Outside of a rash and symptoms of an allergic reaction, nothing much to really worry about.[/QUOTE] I'm not sure why she suggested Wellbutrin over stimulants. I think it may have been when she asked how I was feeling I was iffy about saying I've been okay but I think I forgot to also include that it's not that I'm feeling depressed as so much as being stressed out.

Being lonely in real life is awful, though I can say I'm blessed because I have a great friend in the city side who shares common interest with me in many things, but he's always so busy and often doesn't reply to texts or calls (from anyone, mind you) but a thought always lingers in my mind that he doesn't enjoy my company anymore, but that's probably not true and just my paranoia speaking. Whenever I get too attached to something or someone negative thoughts like this always appear when idleness comes on, and I try not to take action too quickly because I'm worried about bothering them or interrupting something. It's fairly difficult for me to meet completely new people too, I always assume the worst in people and am always aware for being taken advantage of. With strangers, I only feel comfortable around friends of friends.

So I too have joined the ADHD-PI today after seeing the doctor guy. Which is a load off of me now and the start of a new whatever thing for me. Does anyone know how concerta as I start it tomorrow, 27mg extended release. Any tips would be great too. Though I've never tried this I have had some stimulants in the past "off label" and most of the time I just wanted to get out and hang out with people and keep everything clean.

I hate being so lonely and not doing anything about it

[QUOTE=DELL;49717664]So I too have joined the ADHD-PI today after seeing the doctor guy. Which is a load off of me now and the start of a new whatever thing for me. Does anyone know how concerta as I start it tomorrow, 27mg extended release. Any tips would be great too. Though I've never tried this I have had some stimulants in the past "off label" and most of the time I just wanted to get out and hang out with people and keep everything clean.[/QUOTE] Short bursts of stimulants cause euphoria, that fades by about the third day of treatment. My first week started with euphoria and ended with me talking slowly because I was enjoying the ability to do that :v: Idk about Concerta. These are indirect stimulants and work in different ways. I've only been on adderall ir/xr and wellbutrin. Same as above, use the initial burst of "I CAN DO EVERYTHING" to start establishing habits. [editline]11th February 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=kijji;49718210]I hate being so lonely and not doing anything about it[/QUOTE] Then do something about it, anything, because bitching on FP or feeling general self pity does not help you in the slightest.

Who else has trouble staying awake during the day and sleeping during the night?! Grrr... :v:

yeah i feel like it might be pretty common. but i deal with that shit too. i have wicked insomnia at night but as soon as the sun comes up i could literally sleep anywhere at any time shit sucks because i have shit to do during the day but i very rarely have any energy anymore

I'm in a loop, I feel good for a week and it takes one silly thing from work, or what ever, and I'm drinking myself to sleep again. I keep pushing people away from me and I can't make any more friends because I'm so afraid of what they think of me. Waking up, the only thing getting me out of bed is work or going to the gym right now, I know this is a terrible mindset, but I keep getting stuck in it arrrrrrrrrrr

We are all frail little people with big dreams and aspirations caught up in the miracle of time and space that we know as 'life'. I would argue that we all hold the keys to all of our problems though most people often can't see the simple solutions right in front of themselves that could improve the quality and capacity of their lives. No matter how bad things get, there is always someone worse off; no matter how good things get, there is always someone better off. If things were great all the time, we wouldn't appreciate the small moments of respite we get when things work out our way, it would lose value and wouldn't taste as sweet. I can't say I understand what it feels like to have depression or psychological condition but I have spent countless hours sitting up into the night listening to people talk about their problems and offering insight when and where I can; most of the time I find people take things for granted, not consciously but people can get caught up in the moment, wrapped up inside a cocoon of negativity that they can't seem to break out of when in reality they have something or someone close by that can offer them comfort, be that family, friends or an escape through the internet; there is usually something. Always look on the bright side of life I suppose, keep your chins held high and enjoy the time you have being alive.

How do you guys deal with having anxiety around someone you're trying to form a relationship with? Has anyone ever had an event where they have an absolute breakdown over something stupid, and then worry the next day that they won't be as into you anymore just because you were overly dramatic about something? [editline]11th February 2016[/editline] It just makes me sick to my stomach knowing that she may end this because of one thing that didn't really express who I really am as a person. I'm probably overreacting though. Please help [editline]11th February 2016[/editline] I'm just in that state of wanting to scream and cry and move around and just keep moving and kicking and punching things and I can't take it. I need some stability. [editline]11th February 2016[/editline] I feel like I fucked up and it will never be the same until this is over [editline]11th February 2016[/editline] I mean she liked me a lot! Like, a lot a lot. Would this one thing change her mind? Even though the day after she went on a date with me? And we're going on a fancy dinner date tomorrow? Should I be worrying at all?

Back to taking my grapeseed for my inflammation, while trying to unfuck my intestines and get my colitis under control with probiotics. Grapeseed's really helping with my mood but I'm still worried it'll stop working too quickly again and going off it will make me worse off than when I started. But man fuck tonight, my pain and mood were at an all-time low, it was worth the risk. Feeling so damn good right now. We've moved into a new place and it's so much nicer than the last as well. We also finally have NBN FTTH. Only issue is that my inflammation and consequently my mood have been a total wreck that I haven't been able to enjoy anything or do anything interesting for long enough. I hope things pick up soon is all.

@NixNax You are definitely overreacting, dude.

Holy fuck and just when I thought life couldn't kick me in the teeth any harder... [B][I]Grandfather got in a car wreck this morning and I had to visit him in the hospital so I had to wake up fucking early to go see him. Not only that but I found out my dads side of the family poisoned me when I was a baby and tried to kill my mom. My dad might not even be my real dad. The man who was my mom's ex was a cocaine using person who inherited a fuckton of money and dumped my mom, my mom met my "dad" but I was born before they met or some shit. Holy shit what the fuck I need a fucking shotgun to the face right now. I didn't need my mom to drop all this shit on me.[/I][/B] What the fuck? God? Are you for fucking real?

A good potential SO will let you talk about your issues with anxiety and accept them, even if they don't understand it entirely. If you suffer from anxiety, being upfront about it is best. Otherwise, they WILL think you're being over dramatic. But you gotta bring it up at some point. And someone who isn't capable of handling that sort of thing is likely not your ideal match.

[QUOTE=Pascall;49720548]A good potential SO will let you talk about your issues with anxiety and accept them, even if they don't understand it entirely. If you suffer from anxiety, being upfront about it is best. Otherwise, they WILL think you're being over dramatic. But you gotta bring it up at some point. And someone who isn't capable of handling that sort of thing is likely not your ideal match.[/QUOTE] You're right. I'm trying to work on it. It's really something I thought I could just "get over", but nope. It's always with me. But I can't let control me. Thank you.

Nah. Anxiety can be a pretty sticky mental disorder and it's not always as simple as "getting over it". But as long as you can be honest and bring it up then you'll likely be alright.

[QUOTE=TheRealRudy;49719569]anyone here knows that feeling that you suddenly don't know what the hell you want with your life? it has been taking a toll on me very hard for the last couple of days, and is been making me very depressed.[/QUOTE] Work on gaining money and power. Trust me, at least this route, when you figure it out, you'll have options. If you never do, at least you won't be screwed.

Im laughing right now. Litterally what the fuck kind of life is this? [editline]11th February 2016[/editline] Im sitting here wide-eyed slumped back in my chair. What the fuck is this?