Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

Guys I'm over everything! Basically I'm fine the way things turn out no matter what now. I feel in control and happy. Yay!

Well good news since I started the ADHD meds shits been changing fast. The only things really are a problem still are I don't let people get close to me and when they do I go time to go away for awhile/avoid them. Emotions are still kinda not sorted out fully, though as the days go by with the meds it's getting easier to regulate. Now just to get a haircut and a job again for like the 6th fucking time. Hopefully I find one I can stick at for more than just 6 months to a year time frame, as that is what's been happening.

I was just curious, what is your guys opinion on this guy? I'm sure some of you have come across some of his videos. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMIRR_vT0Xc[/media]

Last time i've seen/heard this guy, everyone said he was full of bullshit. You're better off watching a motivational speaker than see someone give 'real' advice apparently. [editline]15th February 2016[/editline] Also shyness != introversion != social anxiety

So I overheard the people in the room next door and I guess they heard my entire conversation with my friend over skype. They woke me up at 2:30 am with their loud shit talking and they said "the motherfucking girl in the other room is a fucking dyke. She owes me like, $600 dollars." I don't owe this random douchebag anything. His girlfriend said "maybe u don't know her story don't give her such a hard time." And I made sure to call my friend and let her know that I could hear the people next door. And I retold my story loud enough for them to hear, and I said: "I dont owe these random people a penny, and I don't know who those people are, but God bless them. I hope they see I'm not a bad person." I feel sick, I look sickly, I'm thirsty, I'm pale as a ghost, my stomach is all loose and it hurts, my face is broken out with acne, I have dark circles under my eyes, my eyes are all sunken in... and I lost weight... Not in a healthy way. I haven't been able to eat a proper meal in three days, and I haven't gotten proper sleep. I just indulged in a shitty dominoes sandwitch and some cinna sticks. I could go for a nice salad with chicken and some clean ice water. I look like a zombie. You have no idea how thankful I was to take a shower after not being able to bathe for two days. I'm thankful I'm sleeping in a bed tonight (even if it is dirty and stiff) instead of a painful rubber hospital mat. It's funny how when life throws things at you, you either give up or toughen up. I was nervous that I wasn't going to know what to do if I hit rock bottom, but I figured it out. Obviously regardless of how much control of my life I take, it's like I barely have any control. I mean, so far everything that's happened feels unreal to me.

Am I dead? Did I just die in the hospital and wake up and get discharged? Is this a dream??? Because the man who let me leave woke me up and told me I was getting discharged. Honestly it feels real, I know this is real life... but the emotion is unreal. I am in disbelief that my life flopped so quickly and that I kept my cool and figured it all out and handled it like a mature adult.

I've never experienced numbness like this before. It's like right now im in some kind of nirvana of not giving a fuck about anything. I'm gonna watch some netflix. Maybe I'll enjoy it, maybe i won't care [editline]16th February 2016[/editline] Wow it's really weird

building this relation to this girl seems like it might become frustrating. I really like her and I'd love to build trust in her but it's hard. I'm not able to offer anything of myself, share secrets, show my bad sides, or open up in general towards her. I know what she wants, I know what I want, but somehow it becomes hard to come with a proper response to messages sent from her. on the bright side, I do notice that she invokes a few thoughts in me that are on the topic of getting better and improving my mental health. I want to get comfortable and happy again so I can open up more to her, let her in more. I sorta have an idea of what would help and that is to work out again so I think I'll do that again. waiting for Monday to come around so I have cash to actually get back into the gym [editline]16th February 2016[/editline] I seem to make some unrealistic expectations for things. I remember thinking that losing weight was the end game, the solution to all the issues I was experiencing. 18.9kg later, it has proven not to be the solution to everything. while I never directly had the thought, I know I've always thought that a relationship would also heal all wounds. I remember the great times from the previous one and I was thinking, hey, if I could have something like that again I would be pretty content with life. now I'm sitting here with a relationship practically on the doorstep and I'm not content at all.

[QUOTE=Qaus;49750836]Last time i've seen/heard this guy, everyone said he was full of bullshit. You're better off watching a motivational speaker than see someone give 'real' advice apparently. [editline]15th February 2016[/editline] Also shyness != introversion != social anxiety[/QUOTE] His opening statements are good though, that shyness/anxiety/etc doesn't define you unless you let it. There are a lot of shy/introverted/anxious people out there, and they do develop positive relationships. Although he doesn't offer much in the way of methods, it is true that all forms of anxiety create negative feedback loops because avoidance causes the short-term benefit of relief. The problem is that you can't function by giving in to it. Small steps help change the negative loop but they need to be ones that produce positive feedback, which is why professional guidance is really important.

I'm really rapidly running out of things to do to distract myself, I have no work, no motivation to come up with any personal projects, and video games and internet aren't fun. I'd just sleep the day away if I could sleep at all.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49751680]So I overheard the people in the room next door and I guess they heard my entire conversation with my friend over skype. They woke me up at 2:30 am with their loud shit talking and they said "the motherfucking girl in the other room is a fucking dyke. She owes me like, $600 dollars." I don't owe this random douchebag anything. His girlfriend said "maybe u don't know her story don't give her such a hard time." And I made sure to call my friend and let her know that I could hear the people next door. And I retold my story loud enough for them to hear, and I said: "I dont owe these random people a penny, and I don't know who those people are, but God bless them. I hope they see I'm not a bad person." I feel sick, I look sickly, I'm thirsty, I'm pale as a ghost, my stomach is all loose and it hurts, my face is broken out with acne, I have dark circles under my eyes, my eyes are all sunken in... and I lost weight... Not in a healthy way. I haven't been able to eat a proper meal in three days, and I haven't gotten proper sleep. I just indulged in a shitty dominoes sandwitch and some cinna sticks. I could go for a nice salad with chicken and some clean ice water. I look like a zombie. You have no idea how thankful I was to take a shower after not being able to bathe for two days. I'm thankful I'm sleeping in a bed tonight (even if it is dirty and stiff) instead of a painful rubber hospital mat. It's funny how when life throws things at you, you either give up or toughen up. I was nervous that I wasn't going to know what to do if I hit rock bottom, but I figured it out. Obviously regardless of how much control of my life I take, it's like I barely have any control. I mean, so far everything that's happened feels unreal to me.[/QUOTE] As the saying goes; You will never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.

Great, 3 tests today and I'm pretty sure I fucking failed all of them. I hate being the biggest fucking idiot on this fucking earth.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49751698]Am I dead? Did I just die in the hospital and wake up and get discharged? Is this a dream??? Because the man who let me leave woke me up and told me I was getting discharged. Honestly it feels real, I know this is real life... but the emotion is unreal. I am in disbelief that my life flopped so quickly and that I kept my cool and figured it all out and handled it like a mature adult.[/QUOTE] Where are you going? Do you have a place to go?

Flipflopping between "okay Nick, you got this, either she calls/texts you back or she doesn't" and "Nick you totally fucked this up, you idiot moron" ugh [editline]17th February 2016[/editline] More on the former though so thats good

I completely lost the motivation to start conversations with people. I just hope that someone else messages me, so I won't feel really lonely at last. I feel like I'm letting my friends behind.

I'm at my friends house sooner than I intended but it worked out great thanks to a mistake I made in rescheduling the ticket. I ended up saving a hundred bucks. She's an incredible person. My family completely disowned me. I was homeless. My family wanted me locked up in a mental hospital for good. I can never forgive my family for what they did. I cut contact with them and I kept my younger brothers contact because I felt bad for them. But now my mom took my brothers phone and is trying to pose as my younger brother and get information from me. Which is sad and creepy because now I can't trust my younger brothers and I might have to cut contact with them too. In other news: I feel indestructible and like I can solve all of life's problems, as long as I'm alive, there's a way. And if I can't solve it I can learn to deal with it.

I have a bit of a problem myself. Long story short, I'm Trans, MTF and I have Autism, and since I have Autism, I am not good with changes, I feel really sick and scared when major changes happen Recently I shaved my legs and I am not coping too well with it, I don't think it's because the hair is gone, but because the idea of having to shave a lot is an idea I really don't like. I try to limit my time in the bathroom as I like to get stuff done and the sooner the better, so shaving my legs would make me stay in the bathroom longer, unable to do stuff. I was wondering if you lot have any ideas on what I could do to help me. I did come up with some ideas, such as getting my leg and thigh hair removed permanently, shaving my legs the same way I shave my facial hair, not all the time, just when I need to (such as when it's starting to get obvious, or I am going out) I don't know if this really is a post suitable for this thread, and if it is, then sorry about that.

[QUOTE=Xonax;49761142] I was wondering if you lot have any ideas on what I could do to help me. I did come up with some ideas, such as getting my leg and thigh hair removed permanently, shaving my legs the same way I shave my facial hair, not all the time, just when I need to (such as when it's starting to get obvious, or I am going out) [/QUOTE] do it either when it gets uncomfortable or when you're going out, whichever comes first. [editline]17th February 2016[/editline] also exfoliate and use moisturizer

[QUOTE=Xonax;49761142]I have a bit of a problem myself. Long story short, I'm Trans, MTF and I have Autism, and since I have Autism, I am not good with changes, I feel really sick and scared when major changes happen Recently I shaved my legs and I am not coping too well with it, I don't think it's because the hair is gone, but because the idea of having to shave a lot is an idea I really don't like. I try to limit my time in the bathroom as I like to get stuff done and the sooner the better, so shaving my legs would make me stay in the bathroom longer, unable to do stuff. I was wondering if you lot have any ideas on what I could do to help me. I did come up with some ideas, such as getting my leg and thigh hair removed permanently, shaving my legs the same way I shave my facial hair, not all the time, just when I need to (such as when it's starting to get obvious, or I am going out) I don't know if this really is a post suitable for this thread, and if it is, then sorry about that.[/QUOTE] It is a bit of a chore to do a body shave all the time however sticking to a strict timetable for shaving might help prioritise and cut down how much needs shaving each day by just working on one body part at a time. In between doing that you should have more time to do things without being stuck in the bathroom and hopefully you can find something that will work better than just shaving :smile:. Take it slowly, cuts will heal over time.

:snip:

[QUOTE=Xonax;49761142]I have a bit of a problem myself. Long story short, I'm Trans, MTF and I have Autism, and since I have Autism, I am not good with changes, I feel really sick and scared when major changes happen Recently I shaved my legs and I am not coping too well with it, I don't think it's because the hair is gone, but because the idea of having to shave a lot is an idea I really don't like. I try to limit my time in the bathroom as I like to get stuff done and the sooner the better, so shaving my legs would make me stay in the bathroom longer, unable to do stuff. I was wondering if you lot have any ideas on what I could do to help me. I did come up with some ideas, such as getting my leg and thigh hair removed permanently, shaving my legs the same way I shave my facial hair, not all the time, just when I need to (such as when it's starting to get obvious, or I am going out) I don't know if this really is a post suitable for this thread, and if it is, then sorry about that.[/QUOTE] I shave in the shower. And I shower at night. So I can take as much time as I want because I'm not in a hurry or anything. It's just apart of my routine now because I shave literally every day (but I'm picky and I don't like leg hair at all).

[QUOTE=Xonax;49761142]I have a bit of a problem myself. Long story short, I'm Trans, MTF and I have Autism, and since I have Autism, I am not good with changes, I feel really sick and scared when major changes happen Recently I shaved my legs and I am not coping too well with it, I don't think it's because the hair is gone, but because the idea of having to shave a lot is an idea I really don't like. I try to limit my time in the bathroom as I like to get stuff done and the sooner the better, so shaving my legs would make me stay in the bathroom longer, unable to do stuff. I was wondering if you lot have any ideas on what I could do to help me. I did come up with some ideas, such as getting my leg and thigh hair removed permanently, shaving my legs the same way I shave my facial hair, not all the time, just when I need to (such as when it's starting to get obvious, or I am going out) I don't know if this really is a post suitable for this thread, and if it is, then sorry about that.[/QUOTE] Use an electric trimmer and it'll make the job done so much faster. It still takes time but 20 minutes a leg is much better than one hour a leg.

[QUOTE=Mister Sandman;49762463]Use an electric trimmer and it'll make the job done so much faster. It still takes time but 20 minutes a leg is much better than one hour a leg.[/QUOTE] What are you doing that it takes an hour with a normal razor? Takes me like 10 minutes each leg.

Jesus christ why can't I voice with anyone without every fiber in my being telling me that I'm gonna act like a spastic retard

:snip: prolly the wrong thread for this

[QUOTE=Xonax;49762708]What are you doing that it takes an hour with a normal razor? Takes me like 10 minutes each leg.[/QUOTE] Thick hair and blunt blades

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49761057]I'm at my friends house sooner than I intended but it worked out great thanks to a mistake I made in rescheduling the ticket. I ended up saving a hundred bucks. She's an incredible person. My family completely disowned me. I was homeless. My family wanted me locked up in a mental hospital for good. I can never forgive my family for what they did. I cut contact with them and I kept my younger brothers contact because I felt bad for them. But now my mom took my brothers phone and is trying to pose as my younger brother and get information from me. Which is sad and creepy because now I can't trust my younger brothers and I might have to cut contact with them too. In other news: I feel indestructible and like I can solve all of life's problems, as long as I'm alive, there's a way. And if I can't solve it I can learn to deal with it.[/QUOTE] This may just give me the inspiration to do what I wanna do without being scared, and try to be happier. Glad to see you're in a better place and whenever possible, please keep contact with me (and, well, all of us :v:); I want to hear how things go for you :)

[QUOTE=Fort83;49763845]How do I get over an addiction? An addiction to something that is a necessary part of every day life?[/QUOTE] If you're talking food limit yourself and deal with whatever is causing you to eat so much. If you can't limit start exercising a lot then you can still eat tons and get healthy. Should still exercise anyways though.

I don't know how this will sound. I don't know if it is anxiety or what, but essentially I call it "post-traumatic school disorder." It would be cool if anyone would have ways of dealing with this. I'm now in my masters of architecture. Year 5 of a 6 year degree that is totally hellish in terms of workload. During the year you are pretty much working 24/7 everyday. Essentially now I can't properly enjoy my free time. No matter what I'm doing, work, personal projects, things that used to be fun for me like video games, I don't really enjoy any of it anymore because in the back of my head there is a constant nag saying "you are wasting time, you should be doing something more important, do work." Even if I am on holidays with nothing to do, this never goes away. The only time I have motivation to work on anything is when I am unable to do it. So during school or while I'm doing homework I'm constantly thinking things like, "I can't wait till I have free time to play this or that game" or "I can't wait to have free time to do this one design personal project, like work on my website or something." Yet when I get free time I just sit there without an ounce of motivation, so I watch A LOT of tv. I took a year off from school to work (which was a nice break because I didn't have any homework obviously), but these things continued. They lessened a little bit maybe, but not as much as I was expecting. I'm just worried that I'm going to burn out before finishing. I end up staying up later and later because I feel like I need to accomplish something, either getting work done or actually doing something enjoyable, before going to bed. I just want to be able to relax and enjoy my time off again.

I'm wondering if it's best to have a thread for depression, because although it seems great in theory, it seems like people might just bring each other down and reinforce bad thoughts, i.e. "why is this happening to me", "why is this happening to them", "there is no hope", etc. I generally try to post in here to be the opposite of that, but even though it might free oneself from bottled emotions, it might have the negative consequences of creating a habit of bad thinking. It becomes impulsive to continue thinking negatively and posting about it, and then reading other people's negativity and posting about it. [editline]17th February 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=IJNOMED;49749163]These past few weeks have felt like a dream. [B]I am officially homeless. Right now I am spending a night in a hotel, I had to change my flight to the 17th (this week the day after tommorow) I had to look up cabs to get to the airport, etc [/B] What led me to this rock bottom point in my life? My parents found out I'm gay... and then tried to throw me into a mental institution. They called the cops and made up a story, I didn't get arrested but the cops wanted to get me out of there. I talked with the paramedic woman and she let me sit next to her instead of being strapped down. (I didn't give the cops a reason to take me out of the home) I legally had to spend a night in the hospital because 6 people against 1, took forever to get out, the staff was incredible cooperating with me and they are actually very disturbed with my life's story and see a lot of potential in me. They think my family is nuts. I had to call a police escort to help me get my belongings safely without me getting hurt and without my family pointing fingers at me and accusing me of false stuff. I barely got to pack my stuff I just have the essentials, my laptop and documents, clothes, etc. The police officer even gave me a ride to the cheapest motel I shook his hand. I was originaly going to stay at a homeless shelter for 11 days until my flight, however just my luck, the homeless shelters were all full. So now I'm at a motel, however I'm only allowed to stay one night because I'm not 21 and I mentioned I was homeless, and its negative degrees outside so the guys was being nice. I was doing my reasearch and got resourcefull and found a hotel that allows 18 year olds, and is super cheap, cheaper than this motel, and its nicer. It's right near the airport. Its all set up. I'm just trying to relax and go with the flow and if life throws hurdles at me I'll swiftly jump over them like I have so far. You have no idea how hard it is to advocate for yourself when your entire family wants you locked up for being gay. [editline]16th February 2016[/editline] [url]https://www.gofundme.com/9fh85sea[/url] Incase anyone has any spare money, I dont mean to sound selfish. But I'm tight on it right now and I'm going to make it by the skin of my teeth.[/QUOTE] If you're looking for a place to move, Colorado has some seriously cheap places to live and you get surrounded by the beauty of Colorado. Check it out! Colorado also has a 1/50th chance of including your family.