Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V4 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=wauterboi;49797381]The more I read into it, the more it seems like depersonalization [B]is[/B] the goal. Apparently, with Buddhism, because of interconnectedness and the idea that you aren't reading the words on your screen plus the idea that you're literally everything (your chair, your desk), the goal isn't to become one with your emotions. The goal is to become something that feels nothing and is no longer aware. It's about being sucked out of life. Oh, and if you develop problems because of meditation, it's because you didn't "understand" meditation, and you weren't "experienced". Notice the blame-shifting there? I won't blame it on Solodris - every religious person does this. They're taught to do this. They're taught that failure can only be personal and never a result of the religion they subscribe to. Imagine if we treated anti-depressants the same way: "Oh, you're still depressed? Well it's because you didn't understand the medication, and you weren't experienced with it." There's literally no way I could question Buddhism that wouldn't simply make me the inferior misunderstanding man. There's never going to be any give for me on this. I'm always going to be wrong. But that's okay I guess, because ignore my sources and keep arguing faith and experience.[/QUOTE] Dude, I wasn't brought up with Buddhism, I bought a book about it and started practicing. Sorry about the blame-shifting, I'm autistic and I found that this practice helps me to at least try to learn to communicate effectively. I didn't understand emotions before I was deeply into meditative practice. I'm just trying to program myself to be non-autistic.

[QUOTE=Solodris;49797408]Dude, I wasn't brought up with Buddhism, I bought a book about it and started practicing. Sorry about the blame-shifting, I'm autistic and I found that this practice helps me to at least try to learn to communicate effectively. I didn't understand emotions before I was deeply into meditative practice. I'm just trying to program myself to be non-autistic.[/QUOTE] I'm not sure how it effects people who are autistic, so if it does help, kudos to you. But it's got a high potential for damaging others, and there are things that you are doing that are often associated with religious people. You might not be aware of the logic you are following but you're definitely doing it and it can definitely warp you. The blame-shifting thing wasn't necessarily malicious, but it is a deflection that prevents questioning.

i do not see how meditation can be harmful lol. like it might not work for you but you're not damaging yourself in any way

[QUOTE=G-foxisus;49797600]i do not see how meditation can be harmful lol. like it might not work for you but you're not damaging yourself in any way[/QUOTE] Well, think about it. Meditation has three focuses: 1.) Clearing your mind 2.) Analyzing your emotions as identity as not existing 3.) Achieving something greater than reality If you focus on clearing your mind, that's fine if you're trying to relax every now and then, but returning to that constantly is not a good thing and it could become an addictive way to not deal with your problems. Also, your brain is not meant to be in that trance state constantly. We naturally enter trances all the time when we watch TV and stuff like that, but your mind needs to work and think about things. If you deprive it of thought, it can become damaging in itself, resulting in crazy stuff like relaxation anxiety and other things. This, alongside analyzing your emotions as foreign concepts that don't apply to you and focusing on how you don't exist and aren't any different from others or even inanimate objects in this scheme greater than reality - you can actually end up forgetting who you are, have harder times breaking out of the trance state, become incredibly suggestible (it's why meditation is big in cults), and lose touch with reality. In small doses, it's fine, but even then some people don't react well to it and they start to experience the more extreme symptoms really quick. It ultimately boils down to escaping reality - it's fine if you're playing a game or unwinding with a book because you're still putting your mind to work with stimulation without focusing it on an intense problem. That's why games exist - it's to provide gratification when life gives you none. However, if you take that stimulation away, you can lose yourself. While it's not a complete 1:1 comparison, look at how people respond to solitary confinement, specifically with sensory deprivation. Meditation teaches you to deprive yourself of reality to try and find something greater. It's a delusion, just like convincing yourself that you are unlovable is a delusion. You can't solve problems in reality if you've convinced yourself of a different reality, or in the case of meditation, that reality (i.e. yourself and your identity) does not exist. [editline]23rd February 2016[/editline] The whole reality thing is another thing that bothers me about religion in general. Christianity often preaches that you do not solve your problems alone, and that in fact all problems must be solved through the lord. You've gotta hand off your thoughts and trust to the Lord to solve, and that encourages autonomous behavior where your gratification is earned primarily through the church and hardly anywhere else. Sure, there's varying degrees of this and I know Christians that aren't off the deep end, but if you've got someone really down on their luck and desperate, what are the chances they're going to develop an addiction to those gratifications? What are the chances that they become so dependent on something that presents them an alternative to reality, which is basically a promise that life has intrinsic value and that there's a perfect afterlife? It isn't reality. People are too hyped up on everything that isn't reality that it makes reality itself seem boring and depressing. I would personally never be the one to recommend religion to anyone simply because it can become destructive in all kinds of different ways but mainly brainwashing. It's taking advantage of people. You guys don't need to be taken advantage of. You guys don't need to be told that your reality isn't good enough. You guys don't need to be validated by others. I believe that you guys can learn to love the world for the world and be strong enough to endure the pain. And I believe you guys can learn to love the pain too, because without the pain you don't have pleasure.

Buddhist meditation isn't the only means of meditation. A more realistic and practical means of meditation is doing just step one as a means of a quick de-stressor, not as a means of trying to separate your identity from your problems. Meditation can be great for you in that regard. A couple minutes of peace and quiet a day can give you a chance to clear your mind of anxious and stressful thought and give you a calmer you in order to deal with the problems in a much better way. There is no one brand of meditation that's only based around religious practices. [editline]23rd February 2016[/editline] Honestly, a lot of Western based meditation is just sitting in a quiet room for a time to give your senses a break (which helps people who experience sensory overload, like myself.) Similar to Yoga, in that regard, except Yoga is using movement instead of stillness, but it's to the same end.

I've lost all motivation to do anything. I'm just recovering from the flu, so don't know if its that or what. I literally have lost interest in videogames, etc. I'm seriously thinking I just need a vacation. I've never had one, and I'm burned out on everything. I've been thinking about traveling to Pattaya, Thailand this August and staying a month. The problem is I'm enrolled in School. What should I do?

[QUOTE=Suff;49798664]I've lost all motivation to do anything. I'm just recovering from the flu, so don't know if its that or what. I literally have lost interest in videogames, etc. I'm seriously thinking I just need a vacation. I've never had one, and I'm burned out on everything. I've been thinking about traveling to Pattay, Thailand this August and staying a month. The problem is I'm enrolled in School. What should I do?[/QUOTE] If it's college/uni you can always just take a semester off and have a vacation. The only way I could see this being a problem is if the class requires you to be there every semester. In the meantime you could take a weekend vacation by going camping or just a random adventure. On the whole meditation debate that's been going on, it can help a lot just depends on the type. So pretty much after I got my ADHD diagnosis my doctor prescribed concerta which I've been finding it to be not that great, it does help with the symptoms. The problems I'm having with it are anxiety, I'm finding it sporadic on symptom control, it's dulling my emotions, and it's quite horrible during the comeup and when it starts to wear off. When it starts coming on I get a wave of anxiety and it takes about two hours before I get any real symptom control. When it starts wearing off I get a horrible crash to the point of I just want to go to sleep, even more anxiety, symptoms rebound pretty badly as well. The only side effect that isn't a problem is the odd headache every now and then. Now before I got an official diagnosis I was self medicating with 30mg of vyvanse in the morning, which I never had any of the big side effect issues I'm getting with concerta. Which it never caused me anxiety, symptom control was quite constant, it made me feel more empathy and actually made me want to interact with people. As I have an issue of not liking being touched or close to people though when on vyvanse it had the opposite effect where I quite enjoy being around people and even enjoy physical contact with others. During the comeup it was quite smooth and even when it started fully working I didn't feel much different outside of the fact I was focused and overall more productive. When it starts to wear off I never got a crash or rebound effects the only thing I really noticed was that I wasn't as focused. I just find it a lot smoother and more helpful than concerta. If anyone can answer this question it would be a great help. Pretty much I'm wondering if I should bring it up to the doctor? However it's only my second visit with him after getting officially diagnosed and I don't know if that will come off in the wrong way or not.

[QUOTE=Pascall;49798072]Buddhist meditation isn't the only means of meditation. A more realistic and practical means of meditation is doing just step one as a means of a quick de-stressor, not as a means of trying to separate your identity from your problems. Meditation can be great for you in that regard. A couple minutes of peace and quiet a day can give you a chance to clear your mind of anxious and stressful thought and give you a calmer you in order to deal with the problems in a much better way. There is no one brand of meditation that's only based around religious practices. [editline]23rd February 2016[/editline] Honestly, a lot of Western based meditation is just sitting in a quiet room for a time to give your senses a break (which helps people who experience sensory overload, like myself.) Similar to Yoga, in that regard, except Yoga is using movement instead of stillness, but it's to the same end.[/QUOTE] Meditation has been around for a long time, and there are different kinds of them; Metta, Vipassana and Samatha. They don't necessarily belong to Buddhist practice. If meditation is practiced incorrectly, it only works for a couple of minutes. But when you persist under right understanding and concentration, you start developing meditative attainments, also called jhanas which gives you a higher understanding of who you really are.

Fuck, I'm so unhappy. If I fail this next exam, I won't get into university. But even if I pass, I don't care anymore. I don't want to study music, I don't want to be a composer, I don't enjoy listening anymore because of my tinnitus (which is still getting worse.) No one even likes classical music. My health is so terrible. The doctors can do nothing, everything hurts, I'm exhausted. I feel like World War III is round the corner. I find technology overwhelming. I'm seriously considering giving everything and becoming a Buddhist monk somehow. I want to get away from the world and hide.

[QUOTE=MintyMginty;49799127]Fuck, I'm so unhappy. If I fail this next exam, I won't get into university. But even if I pass, I don't care anymore. I don't want to study music, I don't want to be a composer, I don't enjoy listening anymore because of my tinnitus (which is still getting worse.) [B]No one even likes classical music.[/B] My health is so terrible. The doctors can do nothing, everything hurts, I'm exhausted. I feel like World War III is round the corner. I find technology overwhelming. I'm seriously considering giving everything and becoming a Buddhist monk somehow. I want to get away from the world and hide.[/QUOTE] That's not true man. I have so much respect for people who can compose classical music. That shit acquires serious talent and dedication to pull off. And I can relate to finding technology overwhelming. I have a Bachelor in Sound Design and walking into a studio with a shitload of hardware and complex routing still terrifies me (I do basically everything with software, so that's probably my own fault heh).

[QUOTE=MintyMginty;49799127]Fuck, I'm so unhappy. If I fail this next exam, I won't get into university. But even if I pass, I don't care anymore. I don't want to study music, I don't want to be a composer, I don't enjoy listening anymore because of my tinnitus (which is still getting worse.) No one even likes classical music. My health is so terrible. The doctors can do nothing, everything hurts, I'm exhausted. I feel like World War III is round the corner. I find technology overwhelming. I'm seriously considering giving everything and becoming a Buddhist monk somehow. I want to get away from the world and hide.[/QUOTE] What about film scores?

this one time i was depressed but then i just killed myself you should do the same

[QUOTE=NotYou3;49799358]this one time i was depressed but then i just killed myself you should do the same[/QUOTE] it's true. I feel almost completely dead inside

Looking into homeless shelters is a pain in the ass. I have to get the fuck out of here within these next two weeks or else my friend becomes homeless too. Fuck legal shit. I don't want her to have to deal with that. She's worked hard for this place and Id rather spend about 6 months in and out of homeless shelters than have her wind up losing this all. It's bad enough her mother is scolding her and saying that my friend is a bad person for trying to help me out. Calling her a narcissist and withholding her own money from her. It's not right. It's not right at all. I mean I'm hanging in there and so is she but life keeps getting worse. Whoever said "it gets harder before it gets easier" is a liar, life keeps getting worse. I can be as optimistic as I want about this, it's not going to get better. I need to get used to this homeless shit. It's very rare that homeless people ever end up getting up on their feet.

[QUOTE=IJNOMED;49800376]Looking into homeless shelters is a pain in the ass. I have to get the fuck out of here within these next two weeks or else my friend becomes homeless too. Fuck legal shit. I don't want her to have to deal with that. She's worked hard for this place and Id rather spend about 6 months in and out of homeless shelters than have her wind up losing this all. It's bad enough [B]her mother is scolding her and saying that my friend is a bad person for trying to help me out. Calling her a narcissist and withholding her own money from her[/B]. It's not right. It's not right at all. I mean I'm hanging in there and so is she but life keeps getting worse. Whoever said "it gets harder before it gets easier" is a liar, life keeps getting worse. I can be as optimistic as I want about this, it's not going to get better. I need to get used to this homeless shit. It's very rare that homeless people ever end up getting up on their feet.[/QUOTE] It's truly appalling how some people can lack so severely in self-awareness. If (when) you survive all that crazy crap that's going on then you'll have quite something to tell the world. Not just about surviving, but surviving the type of human evil bred by religious fervor and ignorance.

Got put on Vyvanse as a add on to Wellbutrin and I crash at around 2 in the afternoon, so that's fun. Having major depressive disorder that is moderate, recurrant, AND atypical and with a dash of a possibility of it being bipolar 2 makes all this even more fun when your talking to some doctor about it and get confused with the 5+ mental disorders that I have (which also include social and general anxiety, PTSD, and normal depression according to my chart?). At least I have a [URL="http://www.iccd.org/"]international clubhouse to go to daily.[/URL] Even though I am medicated (which I do need to be and no one else can say otherwise) I still need to go out and do something that is productive otherwise it does not help all that much.

I stopped posting in this thread for quite a while now. I used to always be the top poster (as in post count) in here but I've learned to not care about the small problems but just distract myself with an optimistic outlook on life but that's slowly fading away right now. I just had a thought a few minutes ago about how I always hang around with the wrong people, struggling to fit in because of my awful personality. I have a terrible tendency to offend people with negative opinions or remarks that usually causes me to get in a lot shit. I've been like this for years now as a lot of people might now. Because of this, it's difficult to make new friends. Though, I've had two friends for about 10 years now. They have been my friends for that long because they're know how to take a punch and I know how to take a punch from them. It's good stuff but not everyone is like this. I'm not blaming anyone's sensitivity but rather my insensitivity. People joke about how I should be a politician because if there is something wrong I call it even if it offends someone and they're right. It's a terrible habit that will land me in massive shit one day. All my current and previous beefs with people can be summed up as "I said something stupid and the other people has a valid reason to dislike me."

I feel a deep regret for all the time I wasted as a child doing nothing but play video games. Thats all I ever did. In my 20s now, I started picking up art as cool way to feel like I accomplished something. I still play games every now and again but I try to stay away from it and focus more on figure drawing. I've hoarded a lot of free art tutorials and go through bits and pieces of them on a daily basis. My art is still shit since I just started a year ago. One day I want to achieve some wonderful masterpieces like Sakimichan. In the head, I will always regret all that lost time back then that could have been used for something more productive.

[QUOTE=NotYou3;49799358]this one time i was depressed but then i just killed myself you should do the same[/QUOTE] uhh why are people agreeing with this fucktard

[QUOTE=Mysterious;49802012]uhh why are people agreeing with this fucktard[/QUOTE] Just watching him try and ban himself in this thread and failing horribly.

ok so i feel like garbage, don't want to go to college and my pills aren't doing much but make me sleep what to do

[QUOTE=jp_rsardeto;49802031]ok so i feel like garbage, don't want to go to college and my pills aren't doing much but make me sleep what to do[/QUOTE] Tell your doctor?

Fuck, I just score the worst second score on class in chem. Then later my teacher said that I was the only one who failed in another test. It's good to be the biggest fucking idiot isn't it? Oh yeah, you really has to speak it out loud in front of the class didn't you? Do I need to look like an even bigger loser than I already am? Fuck, I hope I get into a fucking accident and die on my way home later, at least that's the last pain that I'll need to feel.

im not really benefiting with these group therapies I go to. I'd rather just have individual therapy

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;49803804]im not really benefiting with these group therapies I go to. I'd rather just have individual therapy[/QUOTE] I always felt like group therapy would pressure people into not saying anything. What if how you feel is hurtful towards someone else? You wouldn't be able to say it without risks.

i always felt like group therapy is cheaper as the psychologist can address more than one person at a time

[QUOTE=G-foxisus;49805355]i always felt like group therapy is cheaper as the psychologist can address more than one person at a time[/QUOTE] What if you think your mom is an asshole and she's in the same room as you? You can't be straight up about it. And sometimes it's important to get your emotions out as sincerely as possible to someone who's not connected. Plus it probably feels good to be honest with yourself.

[QUOTE=wauterboi;49805889]What if you think your mom is an asshole and she's in the same room as you? You can't be straight up about it. And sometimes it's important to get your emotions out as sincerely as possible to someone who's not connected. Plus it probably feels good to be honest with yourself.[/QUOTE] i thought you meant group therapy as in multiple patients being in the same room as the psychologist

Whenever I'm depressed, I take the car and drive through the woods and fields untill I reach the city so I can buy some sushi and watch a movie back home. It clears my head real good; makes me active. So on 2th mars I'm going to see a psychologist about psychosis (delusions, paranoia, etc, you name it). And I wonder if anyone else here have gone to these sessions before? Are there like any tests or some sort.

You wanna know what throws people for a loop? It's when I'm on the brink of an anxiety attack and sobbing and people say "don't worry, things will get better" and I reply with "I know". [editline]24th February 2016[/editline] like yeah, no shit things will get better, but what do you expect me to do in the present when things are terrible? i will simultaneously cry about the present and look forward to the future like i've done the past two decades, because i seem to be the only person on this goddamn earth that can mentally multitask.