[IMG]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltwgrbJLCI1qzpsuoo1_500.jpg[/IMG]
More precise the Brazilian wandering spider.
Just when you think evolution doesn't have any more creepy shit up her sleeve:pwn:
When I lived in Florida, I was going to the beach one day when we decided to take a path that had 2 bushes on either side. Right as I got between the two bushes, a black racer (or [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coluber_constrictor_priapus]Coluber constrictor priapus[/url] to some people) went shootin' across the path directly in front of me.
I squealed like a girl.
[editline]24th June 2013[/editline]
[QUOTE=Richardroth;41082292]I can't remember the last time I was stung by a bee,wasp,hornet etc; but I do remember getting bit by a nymph assassin bug, got me on the finger when I picked up a brick. That shit fucking hurt, and of course it was on the brick I decided to pick up.[/QUOTE]
My sister got bit by a grasshopper one time.
[QUOTE=Rastifan;41170207][IMG]http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltwgrbJLCI1qzpsuoo1_500.jpg[/IMG]
More precise the Brazilian wandering spider.
Just when you think evolution doesn't have any more creepy shit up her sleeve:pwn:[/QUOTE]
do they use its venom to create viagra
[QUOTE=Recurracy;41178162]do they use its venom to create viagra[/QUOTE]
Nope. This is nothing like that. It's bite causes severe pain, breathing problems, paralysis and possibly even death.
A chemical reaction from the bite causes the long-lasting and painful erections. Not something you would want to consider to impress your sweetheart in bed.
but at least you could say you have such a raging boner you're killing yourself from excitement
when i was a kid a wasp stung me, totally unprovoked too. fucking asshole
much worse was the thing i saw in Italy tho. between the house that we lived in for a week and the swimming pool there was this big tree, it kind of looked like an apple tree. one morning i'm reading under the tree, when suddenly comes the sound of a thousand helicopters and propeller planes having an orgy in a field of vuvuzelas. i look up and see this horrifying thing flying around the tree. it's black, it looks like it's the size of my palm and its wings are a maddening baritone choir of tortured demons
[t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/91/Megascolia_maculata_ssp._flavifrons.jpg[/t]
[t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/93/Mammothwasp9.jpg[/t]
it's one of those lays-eggs-in-larvae types and it apparently doesn't care about human targets, but i didn't know that back then and bolted straight inside, breaking the sound barrier at least seven times on the ten metre journey from the tree to the house
there i ran into a huge beige-colored scorpion
talk about jumping out of the frying pan
[QUOTE=Joazzz;41201794]when i was a kid a wasp stung me, totally unprovoked too. fucking asshole
much worse was the thing i saw in Italy tho. between the house that we lived in for a week and the swimming pool there was this big tree, it kind of looked like an apple tree. one morning i'm reading under the tree, when suddenly comes the sound of a thousand helicopters and propeller planes having an orgy in a field of vuvuzelas. i look up and see this horrifying thing flying around the tree. it's black, it looks like it's the size of my palm and its wings are a maddening baritone choir of tortured demons
[t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/91/Megascolia_maculata_ssp._flavifrons.jpg[/t]
[t]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/93/Mammothwasp9.jpg[/t]
it's one of those lays-eggs-in-larvae types and it apparently doesn't care about human targets, but i didn't know that back then and bolted straight inside, breaking the sound barrier at least seven times on the ten metre journey from the tree to the house
there i ran into a huge beige-colored scorpion
talk about jumping out of the frying pan[/QUOTE]
More like jumped back into the frying pan
I'd rather take on 100 pussy scorpions than take on 1 of what you described
Anyone ever been bitten by a horse-fly?
Those fuckers are on a whole other level. Imagine a common house-fly. Now enlarge it to the size of your thumb and then give it an appetite for blood. They are mostly attacking cows and other farm animals, but can just aswell bite and suck blood from humans.
[IMG]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/14/Horse_fly_Tabanus_2.jpg/220px-Horse_fly_Tabanus_2.jpg[/IMG]
I've been bitten once, stinged like a bitch. Didn't give it enough time to drain me luckily.
My friend once had a wound on his leg from climbing a tree, and he felt something itching on it. He looked down and one of these were literally eating from him.
So, I walk down the basement and see this enormous freaking spider next to my computer. I then proceed to find a weapon to kill it with.
chair? nah I'd miss it with the wheels
my bokken (wooden sword)? too narrow
my shoe! brand new white ones, not happening.
Nerf Rocket Launcher. Yes.
Pumped it up and fired. Shot the fucker and it sent him flying into the wall, where he stayed, splattered and legs spread eagle and everything.
Insect Warfare at its finest.
[QUOTE=Squad1993;41210143]So, I walk down the basement and see this enormous freaking spider next to my computer. I then proceed to find a weapon to kill it with.
chair? nah I'd miss it with the wheels
my bokken (wooden sword)? too narrow
my shoe! brand new white ones, not happening.
Nerf Rocket Launcher. Yes.
Pumped it up and fired. Shot the fucker and it sent him flying into the wall, where he stayed, splattered and legs spread eagle and everything.
Insect Warfare at its finest.[/QUOTE]
Spiders are arachnids though. :v:
Actually that does remind me of a story of my own though. Must've been a couple years back. I was in the bathroom, preparing to take a shower. I had gotten my shirt off when a faint, erratic buzzing sound caught my attention. That's when I saw it. I don't think it was a wasp, but that thing had this long, thin body with even more unnaturally thin legs branching from it's sides, and the buzzing sound was the sound of it zipping about the bathroom wall. I had- and still have- no idea if it could cause any harm to me or any of the belongings of mine, but hell that thing was gross, and this was human territory damnit. I had an example to set.
Neglecting my shirt, I ran downstairs to retrieve the hiking staff I had for my brief stint in Boy Scouts so long ago. It's rubber-tipped end would make a terrific battering ram and keep my hands clean of it's disgusting innards. I ran back up the stairs and went to look for the beast with my weapon clutched between my hands. It was right where I left it, too lazy and stupid to hide anywhere but the middle of a clean, white wall.
Perhaps I don't do the beast justice though, because it was swift. With a reaction time bordering on precognition it would dart out of the way of each thrusting strike. I'm not sure how many minutes passed (my best estimate is 15) as our struggle continued until, finally, I managed a hit! Unfortunately, I only clipped him, and this had the unfortunate implication of disabling his twig legs. This meant he could no longer land. I now had a constantly moving target. [i]Lovely.[/i]
Perhaps another 5 minutes passed of constant battle. By now my grip on my staff is slicked by sweat, my hair is a mess, and I'm still half-naked. That was when fortune smiled upon me, for the crippled beast finally found the strength to land. It stopped on the ceiling, right above me. I tightened my grip on the staff and made sure my aim was on. It was now or never. I let loose a war cry as I rammed the staff into the ceiling with all my might.
Beneath the sound of the rubber end of the staff bumping into the ceiling, I heard a soft, sickly, and wet squish.
I did my best to scrape the remains off the ceiling and offer my adversary a proper funeral (see: wiping him off with a paper towel and flushing it down the toilet). Despite my best efforts and many others, we could never quite get rid of the stain though.
[QUOTE=Raxas;41210954]Spiders are arachnids though. :v:
Actually that does remind me of a story of my own though. Must've been a couple years back. I was in the bathroom, preparing to take a shower. I had gotten my shirt off when a faint, erratic buzzing sound caught my attention. That's when I saw it. I don't think it was a wasp, but that thing had this long, thin body with even more unnaturally thin legs branching from it's sides, and the buzzing sound was the sound of it zipping about the bathroom wall. I had- and still have- no idea if it could cause any harm to me or any of the belongings of mine, but hell that thing was gross, and this was human territory damnit. I had an example to set.
Neglecting my shirt, I ran downstairs to retrieve the hiking staff I had for my brief stint in Boy Scouts so long ago. It's rubber-tipped end would make a terrific battering ram and keep my hands clean of it's disgusting innards. I ran back up the stairs and went to look for the beast with my weapon clutched between my hands. It was right where I left it, too lazy and stupid to hide anywhere but the middle of a clean, white wall.
Perhaps I don't do the beast justice though, because it was swift. With a reaction time bordering on precognition it would dart out of the way of each thrusting strike. I'm not sure how many minutes passed (my best estimate is 15) as our struggle continued until, finally, I managed a hit! Unfortunately, I only clipped him, and this had the unfortunate implication of disabling his twig legs. This meant he could no longer land. I now had a constantly moving target. [i]Lovely.[/i]
Perhaps another 5 minutes passed of constant battle. By now my grip on my staff is slicked by sweat, my hair is a mess, and I'm still half-naked. That was when fortune smiled upon me, for the crippled beast finally found the strength to land. It stopped on the ceiling, right above me. I tightened my grip on the staff and made sure my aim was on. It was now or never. I let loose a war cry as I rammed the staff into the ceiling with all my might.
Beneath the sound of the rubber end of the staff bumping into the ceiling, I heard a soft, sickly, and wet squish.
I did my best to scrape the remains off the ceiling and offer my adversary a proper funeral (see: wiping him off with a paper towel and flushing it down the toilet). Despite my best efforts and many others, we could never quite get rid of the stain though.[/QUOTE]
That sounds like a Daddy Long Legs
[t]http://i1.treknature.com/photos/2515/daddy_long_legs.jpg[/t]
At first I thought you were talking about [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pholcidae]these guys[/url] until I checked wikipedia. I actually didn't know that "Daddy Longlegs" refers to [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crane_fly]crane flies[/url] in the UK/Ireland/etc.
I learned something today.
[QUOTE=Rangergxi;41070161]It's like they attack for pleasure instead of survival.[/QUOTE]
I'm sure they do, evil creatures. I want to see them extinct.
[QUOTE=Raxas;41210954]
I did my best to scrape the remains off the ceiling and offer my adversary a proper funeral (see: wiping him off with a paper towel and flushing it down the toilet). Despite my best efforts and many others, we could never quite get rid of the stain though.[/QUOTE]
Bugs leave the worst stains on every surface. I have mosquito goo smeared on the ceiling of my basement's stairs, and it looks like someone wiped blood on the wall.
Last week I was taking a shit, suddenly I see one of these fucks on the wall next to the toilet
[t]http://russellspest.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/scutigera_coleoptrata.jpg[/t]
I was just really hoping it wouldn't move at all. No, it fucking crawled right on over to the toilet. So I jumped up, midshit, and had to run upstairs to the other bathroom to finish. Now yesterday I saw a baby one on my living room wall. The fucking thing laid eggs and every night I am horrified that i'll wake up to find one on my bed.
Seriously, fuck house centipedes.
[QUOTE=Whyt546;41243901]Last week I was taking a shit, suddenly I see one of these fucks on the wall next to the toilet
[t]http://russellspest.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/scutigera_coleoptrata.jpg[/t]
I was just really hoping it wouldn't move at all. No, it fucking crawled right on over to the toilet. So I jumped up, midshit, and had to run upstairs to the other bathroom to finish. Now yesterday I saw a baby one on my living room wall. The fucking thing laid eggs and every night I am horrified that i'll wake up to find one on my bed.
Seriously, fuck house centipedes.[/QUOTE]
you ran away, now it knows you're afraid.
god help you.
Once when I was eight, I saw a spider crawling across the floor. Having been scared of spiders my whole life, I decided it was my time to be top shit and stomped on it. It got its fucking revenge from beyond the grave, I'll tell you that. When I lifted my foot, thousands of baby spiders poured out from their dead mother, all of them going in opposite directions. I panicked and ran away, right into the wall. I fell backwards onto the floor, letting some of the baby spiders into my hair. I started jumping around, rubbing my hair, screaming like a bitch. Some of them crawled onto my hands, so I restorted to smashing my head and hands against the wall. I even made a hole in the wall.
Kinda hard to believe, but I'm not forgetting that night ever. I tried overcoming my fear, only to develop it further.
[QUOTE=Mac807;41249486]Once when I was eight, I saw a spider crawling across the floor. Having been scared of spiders my whole life, I decided it was my time to be top shit and stomped on it. It got its fucking revenge from beyond the grave, I'll tell you that. When I lifted my foot, thousands of baby spiders poured out from their dead mother, all of them going in opposite directions. I panicked and ran away, right into the wall. I fell backwards onto the floor, letting some of the baby spiders into my hair. I started jumping around, rubbing my hair, screaming like a bitch. Some of them crawled onto my hands, so I restorted to smashing my head and hands against the wall. I even made a hole in the wall.
Kinda hard to believe, but I'm not forgetting that night ever. I tried overcoming my fear, only to develop it further.[/QUOTE]
I believe you. They are evil little critters from the 5 level of hell. Well excluding spiders who does not bother you and saves humanity from rampaging wasps^^
One time a bee flew up my nose and stung me. Luckily I'm not allergic so I was just left with the horrible feeling of a bee wriggling inside my nose and the pain of the sting.
my mum sat on a wasp without noticing once. turned out she was super allergic and she had to go to the hospital
I'd say I've been stung at least 15 times in my lifetime by wasps.
Nine of those times were when I was in my uncles pool, and I accidentally sprayed into the forest type thing nearby with a super soaker, and a small swarm came and attacked me.
Also, already posted this in the video section, but anyway, I have an extremely irrational fear of spiders, so when word got around that there were some venomous fuckers popping up around our coast, and I saw this, I wasn't taking any chances.
[video=youtube;-QNIKOpArFs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QNIKOpArFs[/video]
[QUOTE]Once when I was eight, I saw a spider crawling across the floor. Having been scared of spiders my whole life, I decided it was my time to be top shit and stomped on it. It got its fucking revenge from beyond the grave, I'll tell you that. When I lifted my foot, thousands of baby spiders poured out from their dead mother, all of them going in opposite directions. I panicked and ran away, right into the wall. I fell backwards onto the floor, letting some of the baby spiders into my hair. I started jumping around, rubbing my hair, screaming like a bitch. Some of them crawled onto my hands, so I restorted to smashing my head and hands against the wall. I even made a hole in the wall.[/QUOTE]
That reminds me, when i was 5, we were living in a makeshift living place (my house had burnt down a while ago) and i wanted to set up this track cars racing track. As i approached the 1x2 metre box i see this massive fucking huntsman the size of my hand start bloody rushing at me, so i start screaming my little ass off and mum comes rushing in wondering what the fuck's going on, and she sees the spider rushing at me and pushes the track box over the spider. I was relieved, but not for long, this was crazy shit out of a terminator movie, i lift the box up and the spider's flattened into the carpet, next thing i know it pops up like a jack in the box and i continues scuttling towards me, so i started screaming again except this time my dad woke up (his bed was 3 metres away) he was still wearing his sleep apnoea breathing mask thing with the machine attached to it, he jumps up (with the machine dangling behind him with the power cord following) and grabs a cushion off the couch and starts hammering this god damn spider, after several hits he grabs his air machine and goes back to bed. Even after that it kept twitching.
Back on topic. I was hanging my hand out the the window and this fucker landed in my hand and stung me before i flung it off, at first i thought a rock flung up and hit me on the hand.
[IMG]http://www.ozanimals.com/image/albums/australia/Insect/IMGP8059-600.jpg[/IMG]
A year or two ago, I was coming back home from visiting my cousin who lives in a rural area. I'm sitting in the passenger seat with the windows rolled down. Motherfucking bee got sucked in the car or something and stung me in the face because of it while we were going 40 something.
When I was at camp facepunch for the first year I woke up one morning extremely hung over with a sore forehead. Turns out I slept on a wasp, and as I was getting dressed I found another inside my shirt. I ended up beating them both to death with a packet of pasta.
Alright horror story time:
I was staying in a crappy dorm in western Massachusetts for a summer music program. The building was old and the interior looked like it had sustained a few serious bar fights; holes, cracks, graffiti, cracked glass, torn wallpaper, and a massive gaping hole in one of the two closets in my room. The drywall had been torn completely out and you could see the studs. Thankfully the 3ft diameter piece that had been torn out was still there when I moved into the room with two roommates for the summer semester. We taped that back in place, but we were unprepared for the real issue of the room.
What we didn't know was that inside the eastern wall, there was a massive FUCKTON of yellow jackets, and that every so often, a few would go exploring and wander through any one of the 50-odd holes and cracks in our walls and ceiling. The next 6 weeks were equal parts paranoia nightmare and insectoid massacre.
They'd come out one or two at a time, with as many as 8 circling our bare lightbulbs. We already shared a collective fear of wasps to begin with. The issue with killing them is that it released a pheromone that enticed more workers to come along to figure out what happened.
The administration was USELESS. They refused to acknowledge the problem, their single handyman never solved any of the building integrity issues, much less cared to give us a trap to put up (the closest Walmart was 35 minutes by van). By the end of the 6 weeks we lived there, it took a a large ziploc bag filled to the brim with dead wasps to convince them that there actually was a serious issue here.
There were yellow jackets EVERYWHERE. I woke up once with 3 asleep (in the dark) on my shins. SHIT.
When the light goes off, they will land on the closest surface and compress their bodies.
They'd hide in clothing, under toilet seats, in showers, under sheets...
At the last day of the program, they fumigated the residence and were scooping buckets-full of dead wasps from a hole they had bored in the wall. The exterminator remarked it was the biggest nest he had seen in a decade O__O
[QUOTE=Killer monkey;41146728]These live in my garage, I dont really mind them
[t]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_tnZEKUGN87A/TB-uNd7HW0I/AAAAAAAACao/FrGkiw6Gz_U/s1600/bluemuddauber.jpg[/t][/QUOTE]
Keep them, they eat spiders. :v:
Its awesome watching them hunt spiders down.
This happens to me on a regular basis! I have an unnatural fear of flying insects, unless they are small like a gnat. Then i take great pride in crushing them :tinfoil:
At work we have this big blue dumpster for barbage bags.
You open it from the side and toss the bag inside, which is what i was doing.
But then i noticed a small wasp-nest hanging from the hatch. It was pretty small, about the size of a golfball and there were no wasps around so i thought it was abandoned. Might aswell get rid of it. I plucked it down with my hand, and then i remembered how cool these are inside, so i carefully ripped it open and looked at the tiny hexagonal structures.
And look there's even a dead pupae.
And larvae.
Alive larvae.
I bolted the fuck out of there.
There was this one time during summer 2001, I was 8. I went out to my mailbox and tried lifting it up from the bottom, the reason for doing which escapes me at the present. Well, when I lifted, I had my hand directly on a fully occupied wasps nest and was slowly pushing it as I was lifting. Well, these ASSHOLE FUCKING WASPS were super pissed about the whole thing and decided to chase me around my own house 4 fucking times. As fast as I ran I STILL got stung.
One cannot help feeling there ought to exist a game where you fight hordes of wasps and destroy their hives with flamethrowers, molotovs and what's not.
It would be... fulfilling.
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