I would probably just lay in bed and pee myself for 3 days till the pain went away
[QUOTE=qwwq4;19041358]I would probably just lay in bed and pee myself for 3 days till the pain went away[/QUOTE]
Honest to god, do this and try to fucking piss, I double fucking dare you. Pissing in this state is like having a midget rammed up your fucking urethra.
One of the first things I learnt when I found jellyfish while fishing
Bad luck I guess, that you didn't wash your hands after going fishing/wiping down lines is pretty skank though
When I saw the title I thought that a jellyfish had tried to rape your face or something.
But this is much funnier.
At least it's not as bad as this
Warning the below image is pretty fucking bad
[media]http://drewpickles.com/files/1246413940441.jpg[/media]
This gave my stomach muscles an amazing workout.
Did the dog really headbutt you in the balls?
I thought you were going to say your cock has the consistency of a jellyfish.
Turns out your story is even better.
[QUOTE=R0Lond;19041458]This gave my stomach muscles an amazing workout.
Did the dog really headbutt you in the balls?[/QUOTE]
[url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=831055[/url]
It was a revenge headbutt.
Quality Thread.
Sucks to be you.
Genius
lololol thats really sad though
[QUOTE=The Mighty Boatman;19040901]I reached for my phone and screamed into it rather unclearly, "MY COCK IS ON FUCKING FIRE." I didn't even know which number I dialed but the guy said back to me "Whit?" then hung up.[/QUOTE]
Best two sentences I have seen on Facepunch in 2009.
[QUOTE=j-richardson;19041439]At least it's not as bad as this
Warning the below image is pretty fucking bad
[media]http://drewpickles.com/files/1246413940441.jpg[/media][/QUOTE]
What the FUCK is that shit?
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NPAsa6w3Tk[/media]
Found your dog.
Thats got to smart.
I thought this was gonna be like one of those little fish that swim up your piss stream and go inside your dick
but with jellyfish
[QUOTE=DuncanFrost;19041644]I thought this was gonna be like one of those little fish that swim up your piss stream and go inside your dick
but with jellyfish[/QUOTE]
I thought this thread would be about masturbating with a jellyfish, but that's just me.
that sucks man. ive been stung by jellyfish multiple times, but they were all rather mild. my guess is yours was a lot worse then what ive felt.
[editline]06:58PM[/editline]
[QUOTE=debmaster;19041662]I thought this thread would be about masturbating with a jellyfish, but that's just me.[/QUOTE]
i thought it was going to be about his penis swelling up to look like a jellyfish
So YOU are the person who called me. I had that on speaker in front of my sister.
Oh my fucking god, the English-Japanese-English version is even funnier:
[quote]Yesterday, my dad and his friend went fishing in the sea-girt aww cool. I'm here any time of year we live in a fairly big fish to get any luck a bit. So I was waiting to set up and cast our rods. Nothing felt that tug pulling two hours when my father or friend. We had fish away and we were drunk. After one hour we went home and we give up sex. The first thing (laughs) had to scrape off the line I take the day it all kind of dirty shit my friend's father. I said, "The IEICE Electronic pulldown rubbed off the seaweed."
He dropped me at my house, I really I had to Autohoippukurimuriku Pvt. Richards is aiming bathroom and toilet. I was relieved to feel drunk. Suddenly, I felt the itch of members. I scratched my crotch area.
"FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" I heard the entire region. The extreme pain was my dong. That shit was suffering. Pissing on the wall to see my father and my mother was crying as Kusobanshi. "HEALP SDFAFDAES" I yelled. "" I pledge to walk the dog laugh to see poor people MEEE Dear God help me.
I, on the ground, rolling it in half the time flapping in the wind only metaphorical cock waving a dog with a smile ear to ear the entire time the dog is angry and tail. My parents just left embarrassed as fuck, I'm in my bed all the time ballsack headbutting, Joe, managed to crawl to the dog, taking pleasure in hurting me luck.
Reached my cell phone, screaming pretty obscure it, "my cock is a fire Onkuso." I also have my number dialed, the man I asked "Whit" and do not know hung up the phone please add. I personally go to the directory, a random phone number. "Oh my God help MEEE HEELPPP kill". My friend from the fishing trip (1), so what I am, I am strong for my suffering, my dog also has ballbags, I answer by asking the fuck he was talking about smashing the skull Ta.
"Oh, that sounds like the cock of a jellyfish."
"What the fuck" is a AAAAAAGH
Is on the tentacles of a jellyfish "when you rub the line to get something. Was to get the number of water probably. The leak when, well ..."
"Did you mean jellyfish my pole. Venom? AAAAAAAGH God" are covered
"But, please try to walk the remaining few days."
"What is my shit right?"
Behind the laughter, everyone burst. "No, to be honest in your penis will feel like it got a stack spear."
"Oh God NOOOOO"
"Male doctors call, you do not know what a jellyfish."
Is what happened. I am now two days to recover and I now I can pass urine without the use of special medical technology. Protest against it as it is done - my dick feels like the sword of moderate size only now I feel anymore! My dog is in a pretty bright side of things that are cheering the first time.
tl; Dr. potentially fatal poison of pain in the penis to urinate on the wall, covered with agitation.[/quote]
my cock is a fire Onsuko
Point of interest: I now ejaculate fucking blood.
[QUOTE=The Mighty Boatman;19042074]Point of interest: I now ejaculate fucking blood.[/QUOTE]
your cock must be a fire Onsuko right now.
[QUOTE=j-richardson;19041439]At least it's not as bad as this
Warning the below image is pretty fucking bad
[media]http://drewpickles.com/files/1246413940441.jpg[/media][/QUOTE]
How the fuck does that happen??
Why is everything on the General Forums about penis's?
[QUOTE=The Mighty Boatman;19042074]Point of interest: I now ejaculate fucking blood.[/QUOTE]
Fucking blood, eh?
[QUOTE=Butthurter;19041175]Shit sounds better than Bengay.[/QUOTE]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8fKEuQEgL0&feature=related[/media]
what
[QUOTE=Ithae;19042162]Why is everything on the General Forums about penis's?[/QUOTE]
Generally, everyone on FP has a penis....
I laughed until I god damn cried. My family was giving me strange looks.
[QUOTE=OutOfPop;19042207]Generally, everyone on FP has a penis....[/QUOTE]
i lack dick
[quote]I rolled on the ground, cock flapping in the metaphorical wind for half an hour, with the dog just wagging it's tail and grinning an angry dog grin the whole time. My parents just left embarassed as fuck and I managed to crawl into bed, Joe the dog headbutting my ballsack all the time, taking pleasure in my flailing hurt.[/quote]
I laughed so hard when i read this,Goddamn. I will remember this thread.
[editline]04:29PM[/editline]
PVT.Richards... I'm gonna write this down.
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