coworker takes a 2 hour dump every day - General

[QUOTE=Bacongrave;23615270]Then he tells me how its not his fault that he has diarrhea.[/QUOTE] To have diarrhea that many days in a row is generally not good. Like, 'holy shit you're going to die' not good.

[QUOTE=Bacongrave;23615300]He is paid to do a job there. He works 5 hours, and from those he is 2 hours shitting.[/QUOTE] 5hours?! Shit, want to swap?

[QUOTE=Baldr;23620741]Your high horse; get off of it.[/QUOTE] so now its a high horse not wanting spam in your thread? The poster got banned the mod thought so too. I say again: If you find "have sex with him" as an answer funny then go back to preschool. Shit like this you find in every thread because there is always some joker who whores funny with this bullshit. i suggest you be quiet about a "high horse" seeing as you recently got banned for repeated trolling.

[QUOTE=sp00ks;23615145]Tell your boss, going for a 2 hour dump is a shitty thing to do.[/QUOTE] better yet, because you're doing yours and HIS work during those two hours. you deserve his pay for the duration of his shitty work habit. maybe he'll start working

Maybe its just an excuse for jacking off

You've made my day sir, have a parody thread. :love:

[QUOTE=Anthophobian;23621811]You've made my day sir, have a parody thread. :love:[/QUOTE] You are late bro. Someone already did this on the top of the page of the page. Thanks though good it amused someone.

[QUOTE=Bacongrave;23621840]You are late bro. Someone already did this on the top of the page of the page. Thanks though good it amused someone.[/QUOTE] Damnit, why can't I ever be original. :sigh:

Ow my god did you have a sandwich with sald dressing hahahaha lol that guy is jerking off to you. lol. Anthophobian --I've recently been hired by an estate agency and my co-worker is the hottest guy I've ever seen, I can't help myself but fantasize about him all day. The only time I can get some relief is after lunch, which is when I jerk off to him on the toilet. I'm getting worried about getting caught though. I have hundreds of videos of him on my phone and an unspeakable amounts of images. I even dedicated one of my bedroom walls to him. If he ever finds out about it he's defiantly going to freak out. My biggest problem though is that I feel really guilty for the one time that I came in his sandwich and placed it back in his lunchbox. He looked so surprised (and HOT) when he took a bite and it dripped down his face and neck. Can't believe he thought it was salad dressing though. Am I going too far with this Facepunch? What should I do? How can I show him my feelings without losing my job?

Report him you idiot. is only good for you More work=More pay for you If they have a replacement of him it sure is going to be someone efficient that doesn't take 2 hour long craps

It's a good time killer at work.

After he is done, do the same, he will see how annoying it is.

have sex with him

Do you live in Texas? It could be all the steak. Tell him to eat some fried butter, it might help. This is a serious answer.

[QUOTE=Bacongrave;23615150]If I tell my boss he will probably get fired. I can't do that. @Micr0 and WillerinV1.02: I have contacted a moderator because of your spam. If you think "have sex with him" is a valid answer then go back to preschool.[/QUOTE] A guy like that deserves to be dumped--um... fired.

Lock all the stall doors except one by going in closing it and locking it then crawling out underneath the door. Stand on the toilet in the one unlocked stall and have the door ajar. When he realizes this is the only unlocked one he will go in. This is when you tackle him and lock him in the stall with you. Rape him and take all of his money and kill him and be sure to smear shit and blood all over the stall. When your boss asks where he is tell him he had a seizure on the shitter and died. Trust me I've done this before it worked perfectly.

just get him fired he's no help now anyway

I love the thread icon you chose for this thread... news... So if he takes a 2 hour shit everyday, install a spycam and watch what he does. If he is doing a shit honestly for 2 hours, leave him. If he is doing something... else... then do something. Like sabotage what he's doing.

You should just talk to him about it. Maybe it's medical?

Ok so your telling your boss, but from what it seems, your co-worker is only taking a 2 hour "shit" because you wouldn't do anything about it till now. Also when he said "you can't do anything about it" when you asked him to do some work, he finds you as a pushover, which from what your saying so far, is true. You let him push you around and do some of his load of work till now. Just get his ass fired, he doesn't deserve to work.

[QUOTE=sp00ks;23615145]Tell your boss, going for a 2 hour dump is a shitty thing to do.[/QUOTE] Holy shit, I barely even caught that pun.

Just do what he does and go to the bathroom for 2 hours

And I thought I was bad taking 15 minutes. Game over.

If you bring some sort of suitcase, take a ziplock bag and shit in it, then put the ziplock in your suitcase. When he goes to take his 2 hour long bathroom break, wait about 15 minutes so you know he's now settled for a while. Then, make your way over to the bathroom and get into the stall next to him, bringing your suitcase. Open the suitcase, take the ziplock back of shit, stand on the toilet and peg him in the face with the ziplock shit while hiding behind the stall wall. He will obviously be shocked at what just happened, take this time to book it out of the bathroom and back to your desk, meanwhile zipping up your suitcase. Hopefully you have a mean joker face, because it'll be hard trying to act normal when he's walking around covered in your shit.

[QUOTE=Elstumpo;23630399]And I thought I was bad taking 15 minutes. Game over.[/QUOTE] I go 30. Make sure its [I]all[/I] out.

[QUOTE=DJFender;23632736]I go 30. Make sure its [I]all[/I] out.[/QUOTE] wtf. I'm in the bathroom like a total of 4 minutes. That includes washing my hands.

Throw a live firework into his stall when he is getting it on.

get really close to him, like faces almost touching, after he's left the toilet. While he's thinking "what the christ" whisper in his ear "You ever had your shit pushed in?".

Unless the guy is a real asshole, just tell him what you think of him. [editline]07:05AM[/editline] Not an attempt to make another shitty pun. [editline]07:05AM[/editline] Oh god damn it.

That's fucking ridiculous. it has to be a massive shit!