The Addicts' Lounge IV - fast times at Ridgemont, high - General

#BASED GOD

[QUOTE=PredGD;53173899]vaped some weed last night which was chill for a while until I accidentally did a little too much. my thoughts shifted towards thinking about the universe and life which made me anxious. realizations that we're just complex bags made out of meat and dead stuff, that we're just a complex organic circuits, trying to comprehend how the universe works etc. these thoughts seem to fill me up with anxiety for some reason and I think it might be because I start to doubt that free-will exists. it makes me feel like I'm stuck in this cycle of life where I'm destined to follow my basic instincts and human programming. just for it all to end at one point. I'm thinking that this is the reason behind my weed anxiety. I can try to divert my thoughts but my thoughts seem to not agree and just end up thinking about it again. do you guys have any idea on how I can come to terms with these ideas? I've already accepted them sober but when I get high it feels like I'm in some sort of denial.[/QUOTE] I literally think shit like this when high and sometimes it sucks ever since LSD however ive been having way more existential moments and these thoughts are getting worse. Its like something switched and now all of a sudden, everything became meaningless. Every problem that was holding me back, any direction i take and any hobby i have. All meaningless. It doesnt mean im depressed, all i realized is that there is no right or wrong path to take and theres no place i am supposed be. There is a reddit post that resonated with me and addressed everything i was thinking about that you may also relate with: [url]https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/1629ej/life_has_changed_after_taking_lsd_not_sure_if/[/url] [QUOTE]I have taken 4 hits of LSD spread over the last 3 months. The first hit changed me, it changed the way I think, the way I talk to people, the way I think about advertising, marketing, business, everything. I feel like I can see right through anything. Any movie I watch I am just thinking they are actors and a camera. Any TV ad I just know they are a person you doesn't care about a product, selling me something I don't need and won't buy. Anyone I talk to I feel like they are never genuine. I can't relate to anyone. My friends seem distant to me now, although I hang around them a lot. I honestly feel as though nobody actually knows who I really am and that everyone puts on a face/disguise to cover up who they are. I feel like I can tell immediately when someone is lying or covering something up, like after LSD I can read faces/eyes better and in real time. Everyone I work with is doing a terrible job, I spend most of my time fixing everyone's mistakes and chasing up people up for work who should be chasing me up. Has anyone ever felt like this after LSD? It seems to have opened my eyes to what the world really is like, and it bores me. It has made me realise that I spend all my time working with idiots, hanging out with people I don't think I know and living in a world that doesn't make sense. I know it was the LSD that changed the way I think. Is this depression? I know I never thought this 'outside' way before to what my normal life is like. I used to think my life was normal and everything is fine. I enjoy having a new outlook but it has made me feel distant from all the sheep in the world, going about their day jobs stressing over the dumbest things. Nothing worries me anymore. [/quote] Except for the grandiose sheep part, this post is basically me right now. Once Ive had this realization, i cant undo it or try to go back and un-know what ive learned when tripping. Its like I cant see shit at face value anymore.

dont drink alcohol kids, it's fucking terrible. actually how the FUCK is this legal yet weed isn't?

[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;53174665]I literally think shit like this when high and sometimes it sucks ever since LSD however ive been having way more existential moments and these thoughts are getting worse. Its like something switched and now all of a sudden, everything became meaningless. Every problem that was holding me back, any direction i take and any hobby i have. All meaningless. It doesnt mean im depressed, all i realized is that there is no right or wrong path to take and theres no place i am supposed be. There is a reddit post that resonated with me and addressed everything i was thinking about that you may also relate with: [url]https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/1629ej/life_has_changed_after_taking_lsd_not_sure_if/[/url] Except for the grandiose sheep part, this post is basically me right now. Once Ive had this realization, i cant undo it or try to go back and un-know what ive learned when tripping. Its like I cant see shit at face value anymore.[/QUOTE] I'm glad I'm not alone. sometimes I'm afraid I'm going insane due to these thoughts. like, I see no one else around me who ponders these ideas or are open to discuss them so I'm left all alone to think about it. thanks for linking that post, I can relate to it. I remember talking about it myself after my first few times with LSD and I've never been sure if I like the perspective change or not. I appreciate being able to see things the way I do after LSD, but the fact that I know no one else who sees it the same way does make me feel a little disconnected. so I like the perspective, but I don't like the disconnection. feels like loneliness in a way. sometimes I find myself wishing to go back to becoming ignorant in a way. I don't wish to undo LSD, but like I said, I honestly don't know if the pros weigh out the cons considering the change of perspective. I think it'd be better if I had people around me who could relate to it but I lack those people. [QUOTE=TheDrunkenOne;53174773]dont drink alcohol kids, it's fucking terrible. actually how the FUCK is this legal yet weed isn't?[/QUOTE] alcohol is pretty nice tho. just drank a wine bottle for myself and I'm feeling niiice. day after is bad tho [editline]3rd March 2018[/editline] alcohol + weed = aw ye no anxiety but still high, lifes good. if only I could replicate this kind of mood while sober

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;53173768]where do you guys buy kratom? am i going to run into any trouble ordering it online in australia?[/QUOTE] AUS? Not sure about the laws.. Look for an AUS based vendor if that's even a thing.. I only bother with US vendors that ship from within the country so there's no hassles from 3 letter organizations.

[QUOTE=PredGD;53175003]alcohol is pretty nice tho. just drank a wine bottle for myself and I'm feeling niiice. day after is bad tho [editline]3rd March 2018[/editline] alcohol + weed = aw ye no anxiety but still high, lifes good. if only I could replicate this kind of mood while sober[/QUOTE] I dont know why but too me, alcohol is the most boring drug. I see people around me have a great time drinking but for me it just dulls my mind to a point thats just boring. What I get from booze isnt worth the day after, the only time I really enjoy it is drinking moderately while smoking bud.

Pill I had last night was good. Looks like I've run out of the "magic" with mdma a bit though. I got all the same effects I used too minus that super lovey dovey feeling and these days it's kinda just meh.

[QUOTE=Inzal;53175762]Pill I had last night was good. Looks like I've run out of the "magic" with mdma a bit though. I got all the same effects I used too minus that super lovey dovey feeling and these days it's kinda just meh.[/QUOTE] Ah man that sucks, how long did it take before the magic started too fade?

[QUOTE=bs8814;53175767]Ah man that sucks, how long did it take before the magic started too fade?[/QUOTE] Idk but it's probably cos of all the meth and etc that I used to abuse, probably, maybe.. Feel like that's just fried me to a certain degree now most drugs just aren't what they used to be anymore Might have been better if i had more but dunno. It was still good just not that amazing feeling it used to be lol. Miss that a bit but also don't wanna chase it.

[QUOTE=ghosevil;53175229]AUS? Not sure about the laws.. Look for an AUS based vendor if that's even a thing.. I only bother with US vendors that ship from within the country so there's no hassles from 3 letter organizations.[/QUOTE] Its illegal in AUS, similar to NZ. There are quite a few online vendors that mention discreet packaging and worldwide delivery last time I looked into it. [editline]4th March 2018[/editline] Drove up to the Coromandel (cool place in nz) with my new girl. Blazing along the way and checking out cool views and nice beaches, thought Id share some photos with you guys. [t]https://scontent-syd2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/28641714_10155501881554370_84924639_o.jpg?oh=95b01400efcf0921355323aca291ceae&oe=5A9DF4C1[/t] [t]https://scontent-syd2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/28755131_10155501881604370_1489847747_o.jpg?oh=3e484929dadb7b7611fd25eab798dbe3&oe=5A9E38FD[/t] [t]https://scontent-syd2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/28694462_10155501881484370_1755062629_o.jpg?oh=141cae679c086d4eefe7f174e6bd7295&oe=5A9E47B0[/t] looking super excited about being in cathedral cove [t]https://scontent-syd2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t35.0-12/28694578_10155501881379370_1047142152_o.jpg?oh=91a256717998dda3068257e096e1e74e&oe=5A9E6CD6[/t] [editline]4th March 2018[/editline] [QUOTE=Inzal;53175867]Idk but it's probably cos of all the meth and etc that I used to abuse, probably, maybe.. Feel like that's just fried me to a certain degree now most drugs just aren't what they used to be anymore Might have been better if i had more but dunno. It was still good just not that amazing feeling it used to be lol. Miss that a bit but also don't wanna chase it.[/QUOTE] Yea meth fucks with your serotonin so if you went to hard it would fuck with your mdma experiences.

I took 20mg 4-ho-met last night, had a fucking BLAST what a wonderful chemical. So much more clearheaded than mushrooms and ridiculously visual, also smoked a oil bit of DMT during the peak and everything had holographic symbols flying off and when I closed my eyes I saw some insane frog-themed geometry :v I also s otter a good amount of IPPH the other day... and my nose has been bloody and shit since then, oops probably gonna stick to putting it in capsules

[QUOTE=Stormcharger;53176110] Yea meth fucks with your serotonin so if you went to hard it would fuck with your mdma experiences.[/QUOTE] On the plus side it was nice to have a good run in with it again. Was kinda therapeutic in a way, just not as fun as it used to be towards the end could feel a lot of the more difficult thoughts i'd been having lately untangling/unwinding and simplifying in a sense, made it easier to let go of certain little things i'd been holding onto, After recovery yesterday I feel pretty refreshed towards life atm. Was starting to feel pretty jaded and run down from the daily grind but now i'm like aw yeah

[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;53174665]I literally think shit like this when high and sometimes it sucks ever since LSD however ive been having way more existential moments and these thoughts are getting worse. Its like something switched and now all of a sudden, everything became meaningless. Every problem that was holding me back, any direction i take and any hobby i have. All meaningless. It doesnt mean im depressed, all i realized is that there is no right or wrong path to take and theres no place i am supposed be. There is a reddit post that resonated with me and addressed everything i was thinking about that you may also relate with: [url]https://www.reddit.com/r/Drugs/comments/1629ej/life_has_changed_after_taking_lsd_not_sure_if/[/url] Except for the grandiose sheep part, this post is basically me right now. Once Ive had this realization, i cant undo it or try to go back and un-know what ive learned when tripping. Its like I cant see shit at face value anymore.[/QUOTE] I tend to feel this way, even despite having never (yet) experienced LSD. Wouldn't know where to get it around where I am. I've really only done the typical booze and weed. But I think some of my life experiences have led me to the same type of thinking and perception. From going to school for graphic design (so that I end up never being able to unsee focal points, good and bad spacing/font use, etc. again), to feeling the biggest adrenaline rush each time I've participated in a trackday at racetracks in my region, my experiences have really changed my outlook on life. I think I just really filter through, what I consider distractions, better than I ever previously did. It's like I have a simplistic view on what I feel is worth my time, so I don't let too many things effect me. I'm not 100% immune; Facebook and other clickbait-y websites are good examples of this (as it is for most people).

[QUOTE=PredGD;53173899]vaped some weed last night which was chill for a while until I accidentally did a little too much. my thoughts shifted towards thinking about the universe and life which made me anxious. realizations that we're just complex bags made out of meat and dead stuff, that we're just a complex organic circuits, trying to comprehend how the universe works etc. these thoughts seem to fill me up with anxiety for some reason and I think it might be because I start to doubt that free-will exists. it makes me feel like I'm stuck in this cycle of life where I'm destined to follow my basic instincts and human programming. just for it all to end at one point.[/QUOTE] for me, knowing that all we are is a collection of atoms and chemical reactions is the most comforting thing in the world. knowing that all of these physical processes leads to me having this grand experience of life somehow makes me feel like this is how everything is, that because i am experiencing things now via chemical reactions then everything else likely has some level of experience in some way. dying doesn't really bother me now after my use of dissociatives. i believe that consciousness and experience are the result of chemical reactions, and when my body stops reacting in the way it does (ie death), that doesn't mean that experience stops, it just transforms into something else. to react is to experience, and to experience is to react. whether conscious or not, it doesn't really matter. everything is just the interactions of atomic elements with each other, and whether those interactions are neurons firing or molecular structures decaying and spreading across the universe, [i]something[/i] is still proliferating, reacting, and interacting with the universe. i may be impermanent, temporary, ethereal, but the effect and interactions i have had upon the universe are the sum of everything before me and will reverberate throughout the rest of time until it all comes to a standstill, even if they are miniscule on a universal level. and then, once it does come to a standstill, i don't see why it won't explode out again, much like how the big bang that started this beautiful experiential experiment some several billions of years ago occured. everything is cyclical, reducing all of existence down to a single point for it to explode out into infinity, then slowing down, receding back into itself, and expanding again. like waves crashing upon the shore, or the orbit of our planet around the sun, the beginning and the end are one and the same. we come from nothing and everything, and we go into nothing and everything, over and over again. life's a ride, so live it how you want. [editline]5th March 2018[/editline] maybe these are just the ramblings of a drugged out mind, but it is what brings me comfort and understanding in this crazy world we live in

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;53179641]for me, knowing that all we are is a collection of atoms and chemical reactions is the most comforting thing in the world. knowing that all of these physical processes leads to me having this grand experience of life somehow makes me feel like this is how everything is, that because i am experiencing things now via chemical reactions then everything else likely has some level of experience in some way. dying doesn't really bother me now after my use of dissociatives. i believe that consciousness and experience are the result of chemical reactions, and when my body stops reacting in the way it does (ie death), that doesn't mean that experience stops, it just transforms into something else. to react is to experience, and to experience is to react. whether conscious or not, it doesn't really matter. everything is just the interactions of atomic elements with each other, and whether those interactions are neurons firing or molecular structures decaying and spreading across the universe, [i]something[/i] is still proliferating, reacting, and interacting with the universe. i may be impermanent, temporary, ethereal, but the effect and interactions i have had upon the universe are the sum of everything before me and will reverberate throughout the rest of time until it all comes to a standstill, even if they are miniscule on a universal level. and then, once it does come to a standstill, i don't see why it won't explode out again, much like how the big bang that started this beautiful experiential experiment some several billions of years ago occured. everything is cyclical, reducing all of existence down to a single point for it to explode out into infinity, then slowing down, receding back into itself, and expanding again. like waves crashing upon the shore, or the orbit of our planet around the sun, the beginning and the end are one and the same. we come from nothing and everything, and we go into nothing and everything, over and over again. life's a ride, so live it how you want. [editline]5th March 2018[/editline] maybe these are just the ramblings of a drugged out mind, but it is what brings me comfort and understanding in this crazy world we live in[/QUOTE] I used to see it that way too and it's a shame it brings me anxiety instead of comfort now. I'm comfortable with the idea when sober but when high on certain drugs, like weed, it makes me anxious. I suppose it's because of my previous bad trips and I'm associating the high with those experiences. nowadays, thinking about those things while high makes me irrationally worried about losing control and going insane. not entirely sure why since my bad trips didn't really explore these ideas, it only felt like I was dying due to feeling physical pain in my heart, heat flashes, cramps and cold sweating. I have explored the ideas while tripping before but those weren't bad trips, but still kind of uncomfortable due to the sheer intensity. it made me realize that I'm not a single person, but instead a complex collection of chemical reactions that creates me. which was kind of uncomfortable since on top of that, I also got the feeling that I'm not really the one pulling the strings either. it felt like I thought I was in control, but the truth was that there is something in my brain with higher authority that I can't see who is pulling all the strings. so I suppose that might be why these thoughts scares me? I don't believe it 100% since I can't confirm it, but after having those experiences I'm not denying it either. I guess its kinda true due to instincts and emotions controlling us to a degree but what I experienced felt more 'sinister'. something that could make me do things I don't want to, something that could fool my senses to trick me and so on. [editline]6th March 2018[/editline] here, have a shitty paint illustration [t]https://pred.me/pics/mspaint_2018-03-06_01-15-01.png[/t] life is like a straight line. you get born, have your experiences, then die. I've had a few instances with LSD or 2C-B mixed with weed where the second situation happens. it feels like my brain suddenly disconnects me from the outside world and traps me in a loop where it begins feeding its own input into itself. like a feedback loop. I try to distract myself, but no matter what I do, I end up thinking about it again since everything reminds me of it. every time I became aware of said loop, it'd shrink. so it'd take less time until I was made aware of it again. I'm surprised I didn't bad trip when this happened since it was horrifying. horrifying to realize that I was looping and that the loop was getting smaller and smaller. I was having vivid hallucinations that I'd be screaming forever since the loop would shrink to the point where I'd be stuck screaming. this is where I first had the feeling that there's something in my brain with higher authority than me. something that could put me in these loops and make me insane.

[QUOTE=PredGD;53179814]I used to see it that way too and it's a shame it brings me anxiety instead of comfort now. I'm comfortable with the idea when sober but when high on certain drugs, like weed, it makes me anxious. I suppose it's because of my previous bad trips and I'm associating the high with those experiences. nowadays, thinking about those things while high makes me irrationally worried about losing control and going insane. not entirely sure why since my bad trips didn't really explore these ideas, it only felt like I was dying due to feeling physical pain in my heart, heat flashes, cramps and cold sweating. I have explored the ideas while tripping before but those weren't bad trips, but still kind of uncomfortable due to the sheer intensity. it made me realize that I'm not a single person, but instead a complex collection of chemical reactions that creates me. which was kind of uncomfortable since on top of that, I also got the feeling that I'm not really the one pulling the strings either. it felt like I thought I was in control, but the truth was that there is something in my brain with higher authority that I can't see who is pulling all the strings. so I suppose that might be why these thoughts scares me? I don't believe it 100% since I can't confirm it, but after having those experiences I'm not denying it either. I guess its kinda true due to instincts and emotions controlling us to a degree but what I experienced felt more 'sinister'. something that could make me do things I don't want to, something that could fool my senses to trick me and so on.[/QUOTE] i guess the way i see it is that instinct and emotions controlling us are not sinister, but the natural order of things. relinquishing control to these forces has brought me peace, as i know that they are natural, that i cannot control them. in attempting to wrest control over these instincts, i found anxiety, by letting myself flow with them i have come to peace. we are influenced by everything around us, and by recognizing that we can come to understand that while our will might not be free, the illusion thereof is what grants us the capacity to experience things. the forces that influence our experience are not malicious, they are just how they are. [editline]5th March 2018[/editline] PredGD, I want to give you a hug

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;53179887]i guess the way i see it is that instinct and emotions controlling us are not sinister, but the natural order of things. relinquishing control to these forces has brought me peace, as i know that they are natural, that i cannot control them. in attempting to wrest control over these instincts, i found anxiety, by letting myself flow with them i have come to peace. we are influenced by everything around us, and by recognizing that we can come to understand that while our will might not be free, the illusion thereof is what grants us the capacity to experience things. the forces that influence our experience are not malicious, they are just how they are.[/QUOTE] 100% agree. trying to control these things is bound to fail and cause pain. I imagine its just the bad experience with these things that is still lurking in the back of my head. perhaps my brain decided to associate these things with something bad due to my bad experiences, hence anxiety? I feel like the only way to truly get over this fear is to try again so I can accept these things. not entirely sure how I'd go about doing that though. I know that thinking too hard about it will make for another bad experience so is it as simple as shutting ones thoughts off and riding through it? meditate during the experience maybe? I wish to return to LSD since its truly a great drug with a lot of potential for self discovery. I've pondered the idea of starting small with 100uq and ordering some xanax just in case shit hits the fan to the point of no return. hopefully it'll be a better trip since I'll be more prepared for the worst case scenario [quote] PredGD, I want to give you a hug[/quote] <3 reading your perspective on this and unloading my thoughts about my difficult experiences helps a lot, so thank you. its comforting to hear a more positive twist on the same kind of thoughts and it makes me feel a lot better about all those things

the best thing to do is to relinquish control, and let the experience guide you, rather than try and hold onto what you have. it takes a lot of trust, but it is worth it. being able to let go and ride the wave will bring you into peace. the fear from previous bad experiences will occur, but you should let the fear wash over you so that it may pass. trying to hold it back will only compound it. it is okay to be afraid, and on the other side you will come out stronger. [editline]5th March 2018[/editline] some day i will write up my experiences with dissociatives, and what i feel they mean. i have gone through some crazy, almost ritualistic shit and i am not quite sure what it means but it feels important. now is not the time, though.

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;53179943]the best thing to do is to relinquish control, and let the experience guide you, rather than try and hold onto what you have. it takes a lot of trust, but it is worth it. being able to let go and ride the wave will bring you into peace. the fear from previous bad experiences will occur, but you should let the fear wash over you so that it may pass. trying to hold it back will only compound it. it is okay to be afraid, and on the other side you will come out stronger. [editline]5th March 2018[/editline] some day i will write up my experiences with dissociatives, and what i feel they mean. i have gone through some crazy, almost ritualistic shit and i am not quite sure what it means but it feels important. now is not the time, though.[/QUOTE] I've done it countless of times before and I should be able to do it again. as soon as I got the benzos on hand, I'll get ready for the trip and see how it fares. hopefully I'll be able to embrace it and move on, and if not, at least I got a failsafe

[QUOTE=PredGD;53179977]I've done it countless of times before and I should be able to do it again. as soon as I got the benzos on hand, I'll get ready for the trip and see how it fares. hopefully I'll be able to embrace it and move on, and if not, at least I got a failsafe[/QUOTE] i hope your travels are fruitful, and you move through these trying times

wish i knew how to identify the good kind of mushies. been raining like crazy around here and i live near a lot of bush land. noticed a few different species of mushroom while i was walking my dog but i don't know which ones are psychoactive and which ones will make me very sick.

What's you guys experience with 1p-LSD? I'm thinking of getting some cause im in no mood to deal with the bullshit associated with getting regular LSD like last time, and i heard 1p-LSD is basically just a prodrug of LSD. I am also asking cause my mom wants to trip too and we're both willing to go through any avenue to acquire some. Also, my mom is a frequent sufferer of migraines as well. Shes tried alternative treatments that either bring bad hormone changes or dont last long enough. The next one on the list is botox injections. ive done my own personal research on psychedelics and know that they provide temporary remission of symptoms of both migraine and cluster headaches, so we are also curious on how it will effect her. The last time we tripped together, she actually experienced lasting relief from LSD which in itself is remarkable.

1P-LSD is indistinguishable from LSD recreationally / effects-wise, not sure if it has all the same "medicinal" properties but in theory it should.

[QUOTE=sam6420;53182083]Does weed cause that same disgusting layer of gunk when smoking indoors that tobacco/cigarettes cause? I would have to imagine it does.[/QUOTE] Yep. me and my friends hotboxed inside their car for upwards to months, and there was definitely a permeating smell of weed coming from the interior when we get inside without the intention of smoking. although not as damaging as tobacco, its still pretty smelly

[QUOTE=sam6420;53184669]I wonder how effectively you can reduce the harm through fans/air purifiers.. I'm tempted to work on a smoke room. [editline]7th March 2018[/editline] Probably more work than it's worth though[/QUOTE] its definitely not impossible, i have a friend who knew someone who managed to pull it off in their apartment and there wasn't even a trace of weed smell. still, id rather not jump through an extra hoop just to smoke so i just vape concentrates lol

I just got the weirdest looking speed I've ever bought. [t]https://i.imgur.com/CcpMdh7.jpg[/t] anyone got a clue why it's this color? all the speed I've purchased has either been white, white with yellow tint or white with pink tint. this shit is all out brown / orange. it's kinda rocky as well but I think that's because it froze a bit in the mailbox

looks more like mdma

[QUOTE=G-foxisus;53186035]looks more like mdma[/QUOTE] Looks more like frozen poop

[QUOTE=SataniX;53186073]Looks more like frozen poop[/QUOTE] that thought struck me as well, gross. there's no smell to it though. I've sat it out to dry a bit and it's turning more orange now but it's still pretty rocky. [editline]8th March 2018[/editline] for all I know, I ate shit. took 50mg of it to begin with, barely any effect. took another 50mg about 1.5 hours in and I still don't feel much.

I would stop taking any until you at least reagent test it. I'd send a small sample to Energy Control or WEDINOS or whatever your local test center is.