I call my brother whenever I conceive a magnificent shit
76 replies, posted
Ahhhh yes. The men on the forum know where this sudden deliberation of love has come from, and i wish to spread my wisdom and happiness to people across the forum.
Being in high school while your brother has just graduated is a vivifying experience, but sometimes I miss his obese self. Nay, I will not spend 80$ on gas to drive to his college and back. I have developed a fool proof method to show bromance to another man.
It was a dreary day, I got dumped by my girlfriend, she made out with my good close friend a few hours after, and I failed my Spanish 2 test with a gratifying 69. The rain patted on my roof as I tried to think of something to do, with no car at the time, no girlfriend, and I didn't really feel like hanging out with my friend for obvious reasons, I decided I would watch tv. I turned the television on, and lo' and behold my little sister came in, and demanded ICARLY to be on. Preferring to keep my testosterone, I went to my room.
I began reading some Robert Jordan books, and halfway through the 6th book I begun a while back, I felt a rumbling that could have only been countered by a second Haiti attack. I began feeling well, thinking this would be a gratifying shit, and quickly clenched my cheeks in order to build it up, so when I released, it would destroy my toilet like a thousand potheads to a free buffet. After an hour, it was ready, I could feel the air vibrate with a hum of expectancy, and I began my honored walk to my throne. No toilet could withstand this, unless you have had mine. I am the user who before, took such a large shit, it burst a blood vessel in my asshole, causing me to bleed out of my ass like a whore on her period for 2 days, So I recently upgraded toilets. A super monster, devouring shit with the force of an extra industrial toilet sat in my specific room. As I walked to the toilet, I decided to call my brother, for i haven't seen him in 4 months, and I felt like having a different shit experience, and to share the excitement with my family.
I sat on the toilet, with the missile ready to launch, and called my brother on my HTC INCREDIBLE, and was forwarded to voice-mail. Regretfully, I remembered he was in class, but that would not stop a man such as me. I began to leave a 6 minute phone call. I moaned like a wilder-beast getting raped by an elehorse (elephant horse) and you could hear the missile land against the porcelain wall like an IED against soldiers. The specimen looked like a coiled snake, wrapped around my entire toilet and curled up a little, as if trying to crawl back into the depths of my asshole. After I left my message, I went and watched television. My brother texted me "WTF. I don't know whether to feel scared or honored"
And that my friends, is the story of how I called my brother when I take a magnificent shit. I highly recommend doing this, as it is fun, exciting, and can cheer anyones day up.
[IMG]http://i53.tinypic.com/4igfp4.jpg[/IMG]
[IMG]http://ballyhooligan.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/toilet-face.jpg?w=275&h=275[/IMG]
[IMG]http://www.pitchengine.com/brands/carlsjr/images/3376/20090114toilettragedy.jpg[/IMG]
COURTESY OF DENGEL!!!
[IMG]http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/6855/dnegel.png[/IMG]
Your brother must be thinking shit about you
[QUOTE=Gbps;25601951]Your brother must be thinking shit about you[/QUOTE]
In that case, he think's a lot of me.
:smug:
That day sounded shitty. :smug:
Also, you know your day has sucked when you call your brother and [I]moan like your being raped by an elehorse[/I] because you have nothing better to do
Looks like shit went down for you bro.
[QUOTE=FreddiRox!;25602031]That day sounded shitty[/QUOTE]
Well I asked my toilet, and he said it was a blast.
It's okay, I'll keep it to myself when I need to take a shit
Ironically, I have to take a shit.
BRB.
oh my god
that's amazing
next time shit on canvas and call it an authentic jackson pollock
What a shitty story, also whats with all these shitty puns?
Back from the throne, It was a quick burst of shit, a bit difficult at the end, but I preserved.
Thanks for praying for me religious men, and for the aethiests, I can only hope you were thinking of me.
<3
You could have just recorded it and posted it on facebook. Then everyones day is gonna be shitty :P
[QUOTE=Brimziz;25602154]You could have just recorded it and posted it on facebook. Then everyones day is gonna be shitty :P[/QUOTE]
Women somehow have learned the art's of using the internet, Therefore it would not be a bromantic moment for them. It would be creepy, thus ruining chances of me getting some pussay.
[QUOTE=Septimas;25602213]Women somehow have learned the art's of using the internet, Therefore it would not be a bromantic moment for them. It would be creepy, thus ruining chances of me getting some pussay.[/QUOTE]
It's the damn companies putting web browsers in the ipods ipads wiis and ds thingies that are left in kitchens all over the world.
[QUOTE=Septimas;25602213]Women somehow have learned the art's of using the internet, Therefore it would not be a bromantic moment for them. It would be creepy, thus ruining chances of me getting some pussay.[/QUOTE]
Grrr, stupid women. Nah, kiddin. Still would be awesome if people were gonna check facebook and the first thing they see is a huge dump :)
[QUOTE=Septimas;25602213]Women somehow have learned the art's of using the internet, Therefore it would not be a bromantic moment for them. It would be creepy, thus ruining chances of me getting some pussay.[/QUOTE]
PM it to all your bros then.
[editline]24th October 2010[/editline]
Also, how the fuck did you manage to flush that motherfucker?
[QUOTE=Nightsure;25602261]PM it to all your bros then.
[editline]24th October 2010[/editline]
Also, how the fuck did you manage to flush that motherfucker?[/QUOTE]
I have a large plunger, but I ended up sharpening the end into a point, so i can stab the shit with holes, and it goes down a lot easier.
why do I give a shit about your shit or you calling your brother about your shit
[editline]23rd October 2010[/editline]
oh right I don't
OP, you are one amazing guy.
[QUOTE=SM0K3 B4N4N4;25602307]why do I give a shit about your shit or you calling your brother about your shit
[editline]23rd October 2010[/editline]
oh right I don't[/QUOTE]
Don't thread shit.
:smug:
Post the damn video here. For some odd reason i realy want to watch it ;D
[QUOTE=dengeL;25602330]OP, you are one amazing guy.[/QUOTE]
Why thank you my friend.
"YO BRO I JUST TOOK A MASSIVE SHIT!! GOD DAMN DO I FEEL GOOD" :smug:
/CAPS
im crying im not even joking
this method does not live up to its name for me; I end up breaking an artery in my ass while trying to give birth to such a colossal beast. My asshole is not built for the immense greatness that lies within.
Shit thread, but it makes me wish I had a cool brother instead of some diumb pop culture obsessed sister. :saddowns:
This thread requires MS Paint imagery.
[QUOTE=SM0K3 B4N4N4;25602307]why do I give a shit about your shit or you calling your brother about your shit
[editline]23rd October 2010[/editline]
oh right I don't[/QUOTE]
agree
[QUOTE=Septimas;25602341]Don't thread shit.
:smug:[/QUOTE]
and this is why GD has become fast threads 2.0
[QUOTE=dengeL;25602430]This thread requires MS Paint imagery.[/QUOTE]
I have added a drawing of me, with my hairy self in the OP.
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