• Facepunch Community Contest: Erotic FP Fanfiction! Hot Prizes!
    317 replies, posted
I'm going to assume: Postal, Craptasket, BDA, Rusty, Autumn, and of course Garry. With a pinch of MaxofS2D
I personally used Autumn and Zonesylvania in mine unfortunately I sent mine via guerrilamail so I don't have it saved to post here and hoard funnies
Ill send whoever gives me gold a picture of my nipple
[QUOTE=Zombie_2371;47105893]Ill send whoever gives me gold a picture of my nipple[/QUOTE] You have now guaranteed that it will not be my gold that you get. I do not want child pornography.
Probably give the gold to the runnerups?
[QUOTE=Crazy Ivan;47106008]You have now guaranteed that it will not be my gold that you get. I do not want child pornography.[/QUOTE] Im not child Added bonus ill send you a picture of my hairy leg no extra cost one time offer
My offer of a C$25 STEAM game still is on the table
[QUOTE=Crazy Ivan;47106008]You have now guaranteed that it will not be my gold that you get. I do not want child pornography.[/QUOTE] You'll get an agree rating from me if you give me gold. I know I'm giving too much, but I think you'll find it's worth it ;)
So whens the next contest?
[QUOTE=Killbane;47107472]So whens the next contest?[/QUOTE] Probably won't be for a bit. I don't want to risk Garry's ire by giving gold member too freely!
Are runners up being posted or are we posting our own stories now?
Has it been decided who will get the gold membership?
[QUOTE=gastyne;47108352]Has it been decided who will get the gold membership?[/QUOTE] I've only gotten a reply from one of the winners so far. I'll be awarding the titles/memberships in a single wave, so as soon as I've heard from all three of the winners, the magic will be bestowed. I'm also working on the recordings right now! I doubt I'll finish them tonight (I'm gettin' [I]rad[/I] with 'em), but expect them soon! Be on the edge of your seat! Wait with baited breath! All the other stories will be released in a single file, too. The Facepunch Storybook. Plan to release them when I release the winners, so I can wrap everything up with a single climactic post. It'll really be something to behold. Truly!
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47107670]Probably won't be for a bit. I don't want to risk Garry's ire by giving gold member too freely![/QUOTE] Other prizes perhaps?
Might as well post mine. [quote] Community Contest 1: john_pelphre John Pelphrey to FacepunchCommunity 8 days agoDetails Garry came home from a long, exhausting night of leering at his computer screen, rolling in the bank. Slinking from the door to his bedroom, and throwing his tired mass to the bed. He stirs for a slight moment, and deviously smirks. Garry jolts up, fearfully glances about the room, and sighs as he enjoys the silence. Then, peacefully fritters towards the bed, lifts up the mattress, and reveals his holy solitude. Underneath the white mattress is a laminated, crumpled picture. Garry licks his lips, sucking slightly at the bottom, and reaches for the picture. He quickly snatches it, and allows the mattress to fall with a thud. Garry sits down, slowly unbinds his pants, and is stuck in what god gave him with the picture. Garry glances down, and feels feverish. He reaches and rubs and his growing bulge, almost completely faint from seeing the marvelous picture. Garry rubs harder. His whole body tingles at the sight. His thoughts all day were about this moment. Garry lowers his hand, and becomes to rub his penis. Garry furiously rubs himself to he glowing picture. Postal’s hairy cheeks filling Garry’s thoughts as he relaxes. The crumpled pictures held in his hand, adding to the wrinkles as he lies back and runs harder, motioning perfectly. “Oh, Postal” Garry moans. Garrys head fills with Postal’s ass. Postal’s ass floats all around Garry, as he rubs himself. The ass circles Garry, taunting him with its perfect follicles. “Oh please, closer” and at these words, Postal’s ass being to slowly close in on Garry, all of the asses falling around Garry’s face. Each one being to pat Garry on his face, each one smothering him with its beauty. Garry thrusts harder as each one of the disembodied images of Postal’s ass lightly pecks him. Slowly, Garry begins to creep to the point of eruption. One of Postals ass grows in size, the hair and albino like skin falls. Garry pants and sweats as the ass grows larger, and finally falls on Garry’s face. Garry loses it as Postals ass begin to suffocate him, and he gushes a bullet of cum out of his cock. Garry lies with the picture of Postals ass lying on his chest. He moves the picture to his face, and lightly kisses it, with a slight bit of tongue. “Thank you” Garry sensual whispers, and rises from his lurid scene, to work more on Rust. [/quote]
I guess I'll post mine. It's not as funny or stupid as the other ones (which is a bad thing). [QUOTE]Garry’s Birthday Written by LTJGPliskin It was an important night at Garry Newman’s house. It was his birthday, with many members of the Facepunch forums attending for his party. Garry was as depressed as ever. Craptasket sidled over to Garry. “How’s it hanging?” he chuckled. “Just fine…” Garry replied, visibly annoyed, as he drank his punch and spit it out. “God, this is fucking disgusting! Max! What did you put in this punch!?” MaxofS2D peeked over from a corner. “Old French recipe!” Garry shot him a look. “Yeah, it probably has a nice helping of social justice, too. Get the fuck out.” Max quietly left, passing RAYHALO, who was handing out copies of Kim Il-Sung’s “10 Point Programme”. “Kill yourself and watch anime!” Craptasket yelled at the distraught Max. “Hey!” a voice yelled. It was Hezzy, recently un-banned former moderator and Garry’s old partner, with a box under his arm. Hezzy took a wide turn around Big Dumb American, maneuvered past BANNED USER, and walked right up to Garry. Garry gave him an angry stare. “Why, you slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler! You’ve got a lot of guts coming here, after what you pulled.” Hezzy wasn’t looking to get banned again. He knew how his alts fared. Garry lunged at Hezzy, putting his arms around him. “How you doing, you old pirate! So good to see ya! I never thought I'd catch up with you again.” Garry said, laughing. “Hey,” Hezzy said, relieved. I’ve got something for you.” He pointed to the box. “Let’s go up to the old room and crack it open.” Garry opened the door to his bedroom, leading in Hezzy and closing it behind him. “I think you’ll love what I got you…” Hezzy said, as he placed the box down on Garry’s bed. Hezzy turned around to see Garry, already stark naked, right in front of him. Garry shoved him onto the bed. “It’s been too long. I need you.” Garry started unbuckling Hezzy’s pants, taking out his throbbing member. “It’s just as big as I remember”, Garry said, swirling his tongue around it. Hezzy moaned. “Come on.” Garry turned around, and bent over. “I want you inside me.” Hezzy spread Garry’s asshole as far as he could and shoved his cock far inside. Suddenly, the door opened. It was doommarine23. “Oh shit, I’m sorry!” he said as he quickly closed the door with a big grin on his face. Garry and Hezzy were unfazed. “Oh, FUCK!” Garry screamed. Hezzy pounded as hard as he could. “Oh god, I think I’m cumming!” Hezzy yelled. “Shoot it inside me!” Garry pleaded. Hezzy let loose, filling Garry’s insides with warm semen. They both collapsed onto the bed, kissing each other passionately. “I love you, Hezzy,” Garry cooed, as he cuddled up to his partner. “I know,” Hezzy sighed. “Aren’t you going to open your gift?” Garry tore open the box. It was a Minecraft Lego set. Garry smiled, and went to sleep with his old partner. FIN[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Headhumpy;47109042]Other prizes perhaps?[/QUOTE] Won't rule it out, but it wouldn't be anything worth cash unless I win the lottery or something. I'm not [I]made[/I] of money, you know!
[quote]“Deal With It” Written by: NoobSauce It was a winter morning in a humble abode settled in the UK. Within the home, lives a man with the name of Garry Newman. As the sun slowly lit up the room with a pink and orange hue, Garry lifted his fine toned legs and stood straight up from his bed. He flexed his large, muscly arms, and did a great loud yawn that rumbled the room. Garry walked over to the nearby mirror and admired his well chiseled looks. He took off his thin white shirt, showing his large, curved abs that could match to a God. His hands smoothed over his sharp pecs, rubbing the rock-hard surface of his chest. From his dresser, he held out a bottle of lemon-scented lotion. He popped the lid open, and squeezed out a nice lob of slippery liquid. Garry slowly started to rub the oily lotion on his neck, then continued to move south down to his sharpened nipples. In a circular motion, Garry continued to rub the lotion in every curved crevice that his chiseled abs provided. Within a sudden second, he stopped in mid motion. From the corner of his eye, he noticed his dear old friend spying on him. Garry looked back and said calmly, “Don’t think I don’t see you now, you don’t have to be embarrassed, come in.” His friend slowly shuffles into the room. “My friend, ForumLayout,” Garry said. “We’ve known each other for such a long time, have we not?” ForumLayout blushed, and nodded. “For the time we’ve lived together, I’ve noticed you’ve been eyeing me for quite some time.” Garry said calmly. ForumLayout held his head down. He was motionless, embarrassed beyond comprehension. Garry closed in on ForumLayout and held his silky hands tightly. “I think we should go back to the olden days.” Garry said. ForumLayout looked straight up into Garry’s hypnotic eyes. ForumLayout softly said into Garry’s ear, “I…I wouldn’t want to change… for the good of everyone we know…. but I guess your wish….is my command.” Garry’s calm, naturally soft look, quickly turned into a menacing, lustful face no man can perceive. Garry quickly grabbed ForumLayout’s shoulders and threw him against the bed. He forcefully threw off his clothing, showing his thin, organized body. His white silky skins glistened against the sunlight. Garry jumped onto the bed like a madman and forcefully opened his legs. Garry unbuckled his pants and released his throbbing, 13-inch monster. The veins on his organ were constantly pulsing in and outwards, synchronized to seconds that went by. Garry looked at ForumLayout and said in a malicious tone, “ I’m gonna fuck you into an interchangeable state.” And rammed into ForumLayout’s butthole with the force of a thousand suns. All the air within ForumLayout was pushed out of him faster than lighting. ForumLayout was gasping for air, but Garry showed no mercy. He continued pumping, and pumping, and pumping. “I’m…gonna..cum…” Garry murmured. In no time, Garry shrieked out,” DEAL WITH IT!!!” And unleashed the storm.[/quote] [sp]I'm still salty[/sp]
[quote]The Facepunchers A group of forum-goers enters the office of the renowned and respected Yonkers mayor Brandon Neider, hoping to earn the position of city performers. Neider reads the entrants’ resume, and comments “It says here that you perform the act of civil discourse. As a prominent and mature politician, this interests me very much. Can I see what a performance of discourse looks like?” The lead of the group, a foreign man with bad English announces: “greeting politic guy,,, today i perform for you act in my country very nice!” Tropsical steps back. Postal drops his pants and bends over, showing his hairy ass at Neider. As he begins jerking off over a photo of Stalin and Natrox accused him of some “tyrannical, Russian-type style bullshit,” MaxOfS2D takes a baguette and shoves it into his fellow-mod’s asshole, tearing his anus as the puffy pastry pounds Postal’s posterior. From behind him Gary steps forward with his arm in a Nazi salute and begins shitting all over the floor in the characters “R-U-S-T” before a group of children begin rolling around in it. Craptasket wraps a noose around Max’s neck and rip him towards the ceiling. As Max suffocates to death, he ejaculates all over Postal’s bleeding pastry ass. Craptasket says “Heh, how’s it hanging?” before whipping his cock out and pissing all over Hezzy. Soon Garry and Postal join in, and scores others follow. The torrent of piss is so much that Hezzy begins to drown in it, screaming “Pissing in a sea of piss!” in his last breaths. Sobotnik comes running in and trips on his sunglasses and scarf. He gets up and immediately starts fucking Big Dumb American’s big fat bell button. DainBramageStudios starts spouting some crazy right-wing bullshit and arguing with Emperor Scorpius who can hardly stand up for anything. Monkey 123 begins shoving hundred dollar bills up Gary’s asshole before exclaiming “Oh shit, I’m really shoving 999.95 dollars up there! I’m so fucked!” Doug attempts to take control of the situation and draw glory to himself, but Pr3dator comes in and shoots everyone. Jewdozer comes in with full Nazi regalia and begins murdering kittens over their corpses before shitting on a drawing of Muhammed. Funion calls everyone gay and a robot with “xkcd.com” stenciled on it announces “You have terrible tastes”. The Big Bomb starts a fivesome with his friends James, Dan, and Alec and CourageDog. BB put his pregnancy stick in her mouth and James was ramming her up the ass. Alec was up the vagina and Dan was boobies. Firerain ripped Dan off because he needed the boobies, as he was the titty king Suddenly Akbar, Azim, Daniel Malloy, Druid Vampire, Synopsis, Elder, Eric, Flavius and a host of others announced that the boys are back in town and converted to communism. Neider, his jaw hanging to the “Grow up” stenciled on his shirt, could only think of one thing to say: “What do you call that!?” he exclaimed. Everyone in unison answered: “[URL="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGA0dIz9-Wk"]The Facepunchers[/URL]!” [/quote]
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;47110036]Won't rule it out, but it wouldn't be anything worth cash unless I win the lottery or something. I'm not [I]made[/I] of money, you know![/QUOTE] I don't mind sponsoring a contest if you come up with one I really like.
[QUOTE=Headhumpy;47109042]Other prizes perhaps?[/QUOTE] Ah, I can see it now. [quote]"Facepunch Community Contest: Erotic FP Fanfiction V2! 1st place wins dragon dong of your choice!"[/quote]
postal's ass seems to feature quite a lot in people's imaginings
Postal's ass is a blessing upon this forum.
Sorry to bump the thread, but did you finish voicing the stories, BDA?
all golds won gold membership Im sensing a conspiracy
[QUOTE=pgr2gamer;47132162]Sorry to bump the thread, but did you finish voicing the stories, BDA?[/QUOTE] Sorry, this week has been stupid busy! I just need a few free hours to finish the recording and editing (I want these suckers to sparkle). I promise I haven't forgotten about them, though! On a related note, I'm still waiting to hear from one winner about his prize. You know who you are. Message me your nomination and new title as soon as you get a chance!
Yes, choose wisely third winner [I]Choose wisely[/I]
I wish I knew who it was so I could bribe them :v:
Choose your winner wisely.
Oh, the last gold hasn't been given away? Well for the person who won, if you feel a tad bit generous and like my story... wink ;) Secrecy Hearts and Flings It was a dark, stormy night at the FacePunch office, lighting struck and rain poured. Craptasket was sitting at his computer desk moderating the forums as usual, as that was his daily task. He went to take a quick coffee break, heading towards the office's kitchen. He came to the coffee dispenser with his little mug and pulled the lever, nothing but a single drop came out. He realized this might break him for today, as coffee gave him his moral and spiritual values, a day without it and he'd be a different person. He took a deep breath and headed back towards his desk with his empty mug, he started to moderate the forums again. Out of nowhere, Garry came around and asked him if he was the person who put a note on the coffee dispenser saying "ur the creep without ur coffee". Craptasket shooked his head no, but gave a little giggle as he started to feel slightly odd. There was something odd going on in his mind, he started to find his own manager [I]sexually attractive[/I]. He shook these thoughts away and continued on his work.[U]-CRACKLE-[/U] Thunder stroked. The office went dark and his computer had no power. He started to think this day was bad luck. Garry came back to tell everyone the lighting probably cut the electricity off. While he was telling everyone to head home, Craptasket felt himself turning into stone.. but only in one area, making him blush. He quickly headed out the office covering his crotch with his mug, looking very suspicious. He headed towards his car only to see that the tires were popped. He saw a note on the windshield and picked it up, it read "Reason: Cannot function on flat tires.". Craptasket became frightened and proceeded to take his phone out to call a tow truck. Garry came out into the parking lot after closing up and noticed Crap's car. He'd later contact the local police and find the culprit on nearby security cameras, then proceeded to offer Craptasket a ride home. Craptasket started to worry if he'd be able to control himself along the way without his dose of coffee. Garry drove him back to his house, and asked him if he'd be ok. Crap's mind started to turnover and asked him if he can come inside. Garry agreed and came in, to find a box of dildos etched with "S12" on them, probably meaning size 12. Crap unaware of them, grabbed Garry by the collar and kissed him onto the floor, making a slobbering mess. He was so thankful to have Garry as company, and started to undress him. He started to grab Garry's genitals and caress them with his mighty keyboard fingers. Garry moaned in enjoyment and started to suck Craptasket's excited cock, removing all of the smegma built on it. Another lighting flashed and a pringle's mascot showed through the windows. The messages became clear. [sp]S12 was... seano12.[/sp] They all fucked. [sp]Also if you don't get the notes and references http://i.imgur.com/7YaJh8N.png [/sp]
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.