[QUOTE=DWAP;20827801][URL]http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-504[/URL] I wish I had these just to take down terrible comedians[/QUOTE]
hahahaha thats better than what i found, thats for dam sure
[QUOTE=40kplayer;20807449]Also, Dr. Kondraki is the biggest badass ever, if you read the [url=http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/duke-till-dawn]decommission report for the Duke.[/url][/QUOTE]
He is the definition of badass.
Fucking OOOOOLD
[QUOTE=DWAP;20827801][URL]http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-504[/URL] I wish I had these just to take down terrible comedians[/QUOTE]
Better keep them away from In The News:
[quote]
[B]Item:[/B] Three mature SCP-504 tomatoes, one for each test subject.
[B]Subject:[/B] After the introduction to the following news item, [URL="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7976883.stm"]Bomb blows hole in Lenin statue[/URL], the three following jokes were made.
[B]Test Subject 1:[/B] [I]Ooh, that's gonna leave a Marx.[/I]
[B]Result:[/B] Tomato number one 'twitched', but did not displace from its original location.
[B]Test Subject 2:[/B] [I]BBC is just Stalin the good news.[/I]
[B]Result:[/B] Tomato clocked at 152 mph. Chipped tooth and hairline jaw fracture.
[B]Test Subject 3:[/B] [I]That blows.[/I]
[B]Result:[/B] Tomato clocked at [REDACTED]. Subject is hospitalized with a massive skull fracture.
[/quote]
[url]http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-000-j[/url]
Does anyone know what the personnel with guns look like? (Forgot what they are called.)
Op's image and description is very similar to a Doctor Who episode, where you cant blink or turn your back from these distorted angel statues or they kill you.
[QUOTE=KommradKommisar;20841399]Does anyone know what the personnel with guns look like? (Forgot what they are called.)[/QUOTE]
The Agents. They are your standard Men in Black.
[QUOTE=40kplayer;20841827]The Agents. They are your standard Men in Black.[/QUOTE]
I thought they would be in black with all this combat stuff on.
That's underneath. Also, the Task Forces are the ones in full military gear. The Agents are the ground troopers who are allowed high access.
[url]http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-507[/url] This guy is my favorite.
[QUOTE=40kplayer;20842266]That's underneath. Also, the Task Forces are the ones in full military gear. The Agents are the ground troopers who are allowed high access.[/QUOTE]
Ah, I wanted to know about the Task forces. Any place were I can find lots of info about them?
Love it.
It would be ridiculously kickass if their was a show, or a game, or a movie or something in this "universe"
[QUOTE=SL0WP0KE;20842787]It would be ridiculously kickass if their was a show, or a game, or a movie or something in this "universe"[/QUOTE]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_EpGmakF_U[/media]
[QUOTE=DWAP;20827801][URL]http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-504[/URL] I wish I had these just to take down terrible comedians[/QUOTE]
"Note: Whoever snuck SCP-504 into the cafeteria kitchen is getting terminated. Those tomato slices are like fucking shuriken. - Dr. Blast"
:v:
[QUOTE=Lankist;20843018][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_EpGmakF_U[/media][/QUOTE]
It's not the same without the magical vending machine :[
[QUOTE=SL0WP0KE;20843248]It's not the same without the magical vending machine :[[/QUOTE]
It has a mirror that displays an evil duplicate of whoever is reflected.
And they play ping-pong with it.
[QUOTE=Lankist;20843339]It has a mirror that displays an evil duplicate of whoever is reflected.
And they play ping-pong with it.[/QUOTE]
That's awesome!
Any pics of Task force troops?
I would assume the Task Forces would look like SWAT or any type of special forces.
Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato
Subject: A portable computer playing a pre-recorded engineering joke.
Transcript: "2009 is going to be a complex year. We already know the real part; we still have to find the imaginary part".
Result: Supersonic blast detected; computer was completely vaporized by the tomato's kinetic energy. Sensor readings indicate an approximate speed of 3500 km/h (2174 mph).
Hahaha
This is awesome
[quote]Special Containment Procedures: Due to its nature, SCP-024 cannot be moved to a secure location so security measures must be placed on-site. To conceal its location, SCP-024 will have at least 5 identical looking replicas surrounding it at all times. A tight security perimeter must be maintained around SCP-024's compound at all times, with separate security teams guarding SCP-024 and its replicas. None of the security teams, except for team leaders, will be informed of the location of SCP-024. SCP-024 must be secured with magnetically sealed blast doors and reinforced, armored walls to prevent unauthorized entry.
Under no circumstances can any security or research personnel enter SCP-024. Only D-Class personnel are allowed entry and strictly for research purposes only. All researchers are to observe and experiment with SCP-024 from the remote observation lab. Any personnel attempting to leave the remote observation lab or enter SCP-024 without prior approval from a level 4 researcher must be immediately apprehended, with termination authorized.
Should containment be breached, or SCP-024's true nature compromised, then the entire compound must be destroyed via specialized demolition charges planted throughout the compound.
Description: SCP-024 is an abandoned sound stage that was once owned by █████████. However, SCP-024 itself had been abandoned since 19██, and it is unknown whether its special properties manifested before or after its abandonment. SCP-024 is located in the heart of █████████, ██████████, and was initially discovered when a group of teenage youths broke into the abandoned compound. The testimony of the lone "winner" when she turned herself in to the police was enough to have Foundation assets mobilize to contain SCP-024.
Upon entering SCP-024, visitors are immediately greeted by an anonymous announcer, who communicates via intercom and is able to hear and comprehend the voices of people within SCP-024. The announcer will inform the "contestants" that they are about to take part in a game show in which the winners will win fabulous prizes, but will also warn that the game will be extremely hazardous, and that the losers will never leave SCP-024. It is at this point the announcer presents the choice of whether to stay or leave SCP-024. Contestants who accept will continue to particpate in the game while those who decline are immediately expelled from SCP-024. Contestants that win the game or decline to participate may never enter SCP-024 again, as entry is denied by an impenetrable, invisible barrier.
It is then that the contestants are led to the actual game. The style, composition, and appearance of the game always changes in every individual playthrough, but the game is always centered around a long, elaborate obstacle course that the contestants must navigate through. The rules also vary. Some playthroughs may only allow a single winner, while others encourage the creation of teams to win the game. More often than not, the obstacles seen in these games range from incredibly benign to extremely hazardous and life-threatening. As the contestants attempt to negotiate the course, the announcer will continuously update their status and actively participate in the game, often giving advice, conversing with contestants, and adding new rules. As the game progresses, the obstacles become significantly more dangerous and difficult to overcome, and it is not surprising to have the entire pool of contestants succumb to the rigors of the obstacle course. If such an event happens, the announcer will express sadness at the lack of a winner and SCP-024 will shut down, resetting only when a new batch of contestants enter.
Any attempts to "break the rules", such as assaulting other contestants and deliberately bypassing obstacles, are met by extreme violence. The announcer will call out the offending contestant, who will be quickly and forcefully ejected from the course by "studio guardians". These studio guardians will immediately materialize within SCP-024 when called upon by the announcer and disappear when not needed. The contestant will never be seen again.
When a winner is declared, he/she will recieve a random grand prize. Any contestants that have survived the course but failed to win are immediately declared losers by the announcer. The lights will switch off, and the winner will immediately appear outside of SCP-024 with his/her prize while the losers completely disappear.
However, the most mysterious aspect of SCP-024 is that after every game, a VHS tape or DVD will appear in the mailbox outside of SCP-024's main entrance. This recording is a complete record of the entire game that was previously played, even though winners have claimed that they had never seen any cameras or recording devices inside SCP-024. Also, more strangely, a live studio audience can be seen in the background cheering on the contestants. Again, winners have claimed not to have seen a live studio audience while inside SCP-024.
Addendum 1: So far, the list of prizes awarded to winners has included, but are not limited to: cash prizes, electronics, various consumer goods, cars, collectibles, full-paid vacations to various countries, [DATA EXPUNGED]. Close examination of these prizes have confirmed that they are completely genuine, and possess no unusual abilities or characteristics whatsoever. There appears to be no consistent pattern for what the prizes will be.
Addendum 2: In an attempt to track where the "losers" are taken, GPS locator beacons were planted on subjects D-124 through D-135 when Group D245 was sent into SCP-024. When the losers were taken away, all signals from the beacons were lost. Whether this is because the beacons were destroyed, or because the losers were taken to an area that cannot be located via GPS is currently unknown.
Addendum 3: The announcer living within SCP-024 appears to be sentient and aware of events that take place outside of the compound. During the test of Group D523, which consisted only of Dr. ████████, the announcer instead engaged in a conversation with Dr. ████████. Analysis of the conversations have shown that the majority of the subjects are centered around pop culture and information distributed through television, implying that SCP-024 somehow is able to access and interpret television signals. Cutting all power and signal lines, as well as removing any potential wireless recieving equipment on SCP-024, does not affect SCP-024 in any way. When it became clear that no other contestants would particpate, the announcer kindly asked Dr. ████████ to leave SCP-024 and suggested he return with more contestants.
Addendum 4: The studio guardians that the announcer uses to enforce the rules vary in appeareance every game, just like the course. If they appear, the guardians will always be dressed in a manner that matches with the theme of the obstacle course. The only common attributes all guardians share are the possession of humanoid appearance, ability to suddenly appear and disappear, superhuman strength, and face concealing masks or headgear. However, winners have claimed that the guardians have no apparent shape or form inside SCP-024, instead appearing as huge, shadowy figures that engulf the offender.
Adminstrative Note: Allocation of D-class personnel to experiments involving SCP-024 has been restricted until researchers can prove in their requisition reports that they need the personnel for actual experiments rather than for personal recreation. I have seen the recordings myself and have to admit that they are amusing on some level, but there are limits. It's not as if D-class personnel grow on trees, you know.[/quote]
[editline]06:02AM[/editline]
This guy killed it completely
[quote]Item #: SCP-ಠ_ಠ
[b]Object Class:[/b] Keter
[b]Special Containment Procedures:[/b] SCP-ಠ_ಠ is impossible to contain, since the IP addresses of the websites in question apparently do not exist. Personnel are advised to report any occurrence of SCP-ಠ_ಠ on the Internet. Personnel are required to go through an extensive psychological exam and two week therapy after viewing SCP-ಠ_ಠ.
[b]Description:[/b] SCP-ಠ_ಠ constantly changes its form. SCP-ಠ_ಠ often appears as the same form, and prefers some more than others (see document ಠ_ಠ-1). Every image is disgusting or displeasing in one way or another. Castration, gore, disembowelment, regurgitation of bodily fluids, consumption of [DATA EXPUNGED], and sexual acts have been reported by personnel. SCP-ಠ_ಠ often appears with sound, or as a video, flash image, or an animated .gif image. Few personnel can view SCP-ಠ_ಠ without experiencing one of its symptoms. Upon viewing SCP-ಠ_ಠ, personnel may vomit, defecate and urinate on themselves, bleed from their ears and eyes, or any combination of the above. Some commit suicide after viewing SCP-ಠ_ಠ.
Document ಠ_ಠ-1: Common forms of SCP-ಠ_ಠ
WARNING: Reading the following document may occasionally cause symptoms similar to the usual symptoms caused by SCP-ಠ_ಠ. Proceed at own risk.
A Caucasian male stretching his anus for view of the camera. This appears to be SCP-ಠ_ಠ's favorite form.
Three elderly Caucasian males committing various sexual acts on each other.
A Mongolian female spewing diarrhea from her anus into her mouth, in a tub.
A Caucasian male with his eyes hanging from their tendons out of their sockets.
A drawing of an anthropomorphic male fox performing fellatio on an anthropomorphic male wolf.
A mutilated Caucasian infant.
A video of two Caucasian females [DATA EXPUNGED] a cup [DATA EXPUNGED].
A window of an internet browser of unknown make, displaying image #2 (amongst similar pictures) and emits, at a very loud volume, the words "HEY EVERYBODY, I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO!" from the speakers. It is difficult to close the program, due to the window shifting position and pictures overlapping.
[DATA EXPUNGED] in each other's anuses.
A transsexual committing a sexual act with a squirrel.
A disemboweled walrus.
A picture of President [DATA EXPUNGED]. The bodies were never found, even though the surrounding environment indicates where they were buried.[/quote]
[editline]06:07AM[/editline]
Oh its meant to be "funny", still killed it.
[QUOTE=Gummylamb;20846885]Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato
Subject: A portable computer playing a pre-recorded engineering joke.
Transcript: "2009 is going to be a complex year. We already know the real part; we still have to find the imaginary part".
Result: Supersonic blast detected; computer was completely vaporized by the tomato's kinetic energy. Sensor readings indicate an approximate speed of 3500 km/h (2174 mph).
Hahaha[/QUOTE]
Item: One mature SCP-504 tomato
Subject: CD player playing "Harmful If Swallowed" (2003, Dane Cook)
Result: At [REDACTED], tomato clocked 167 mph. CD player destroyed.
All I could think of is this being a DLC for Fallout 3.
The Lone Wanderer discovers a secret base in the DC Ruins. Horrible acts against humanity have been at work here until the bombs fell.
[quote]Dr. Gears: To ride SCP-682.[/quote]
:haw: FUCKING AWESOME.
A lot of these are really awesome.
I was reading one of the proposals for SCP-01, this one [url]http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/dr-gears-s-proposal[/url], and I thought "Damn, I gotta draw this".
I fired up photoshop and drew a [b]very[/b] rough sketch of what I imagine it would look like.
[IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/352isr4.png[/IMG]
[editline]02:11AM[/editline]
The joke ones are gold as well. [url]http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-1344-j[/url]
Absolute best joke SCP.
[url]http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3467-j[/url]
[QUOTE]Item #: SCP-3467
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3467 is to be made fun of at every opportunity. Heckling, practical jokes, and pranks are good examples. Filming the more spectacular procedures is a must.
Description: SCP-3467 is a six (6) foot tall, two hundred (200) pound man eating chicken. Subject is thirty five (35), slightly balding, dark brown hair and eyes, and slightly overweight. Name is Hank ██████████, and he has worked as a Level 1 cleanup crew for the past three years. Hank is never seen without a bucket of chicken, and only stops eating it when actually working, which is a rare occurrence in itself.
It is know that Hank still lives in his mom's basement, and hearsay amongst the female staff, is that he is still a virgin.
Additional Notes: All video footage of the more impressive "procedures" performed on Hank are available in the central reading area.
Document 3467-01: "Dammit guys, this isn't funny. The system still freaks out when I enter the building, and I don't have clearance to delete this stupid file. Thanks a lot, assholes." Hank ██████████
Document 3467-02: "Now this is a bit unfair. I mean, it's not his fault he's fat, balding, still lives with his mom and…. No, no, sorry, I can't say that with a straight face. Come on, alright, let me try it again, I'll do it proper this time, I promise." Dr.██████
Document 3467-03: In accordance with SCP protocols associated with this item, the following record of Special Containment Procedures carried out by Dr.Gears is submitted.
After Incident [DATA EXPUNGED]. With its incapacitation, SCP-682 regeneration was being monitored via a sealed observation booth. This booth projected twelve feet into the current containment area, constructed of transparent super dense plastic developed by [DATA EXPUNGED]. SCP-3467 was instructed to clean the observation booth. When SCP-3467 was at the far end to the booth, the security door was locked.
The sounds of SCP-3467 attempting to escape and Dr.Gears uncontrollable laughter attracted the attention of a 67% regenerated SCP-682. SCP-682 attempted to attack SCP-3467; however its current state posed no danger to the structural stability of the booth.
Dr.Gears observed SCP-3467 to emit a loud, extremely high-pitched scream not unlike a small female child. SCP-3467 proceeded to whimper like said small child and ask for “Mommy”. SCP-3467 was instructed to “bark like a dog” if he wished to exit the booth. SCP-3467 proceeded to bark like a small, frightened canine for 48 seconds, after which the security door was opened.
It was observed that SCP-3467 had defecated himself at some point during the event.
Recordings of event are available via a request to Central Records, or Dr.Gears.
“He got on all fours when he barked; I didn’t even ask him to do that!” – Dr.Gears
[/QUOTE]
:iiam:
[QUOTE=tasty-man;20846942]This is awesome
[editline]06:02AM[/editline]
This guy killed it completely
[editline]06:07AM[/editline]
Oh its meant to be "funny", still killed it.[/QUOTE]
Both of those have been posted.
[editline]01:57PM[/editline]
Image form the [url=http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/document-19-v-1911854]Classified SCP page.[/url]
[img]http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/local--files/document-19-v-1911854/eyecreepy.jpg[/img]
Damn, it would be so awesome if this was real.
[url]http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-914[/url]
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