If I love a girl, am I making a mistake by leaving for college? Will she be the one that got away? - General

[QUOTE=InvaderNouga;46284048]That's not true. There are many couples who have been together since High School and make it work. Do the majority of them fizzle? Yeah, but it doesn't mean it's impossible. But in regards to OP's situation I recommend placing your education and your future first before worrying about your love life while you're still young. It's much easier when you're single.[/QUOTE] I know a couple who married 5 years after high school and are more than happy. But it's so damn rare that it's hardly worth mentioning. Especially if includes a guy who goes to Facepunch of all places for advice like this.

It's always nice when you can naturally have feelings for someone, but you should also try to see how many tangible things about them objectively work for you before you start panicking about them being "the one." It's possible that if you go to school you'll meet someone that completely blows away your previous concept of compatibility. That's what happened to me.

University or college is a grand time to start really experiencing life on your own. It's new world in itself and it's very exciting! This is the first instance for many to truly begin what they'd consider as their "own" life. During this time you'll meet so many people from all walks of life that it's ridiculous to assume that your high school crush is going to be the ONE girl. Don't limit your possibilities when you're literally just opening the door to an entirely different experience! It's whatever you'll make it be. So what do I suggest? Well, I think you'll meet so many interesting people in university or college that holding on to that high school business is going hold you back. Give it a shot long distance if you so desperately want to keep her around. However, remember that she's experiencing this new world just as much you are. Some times you need to let it go and grow up and experience the world. You may surprise yourself.

One girl compared to the tons you'll meet in college? I personally haven't graduated but that's what I'm looking forward to the most in all honesty, not just girls but meeting new people, which is always a fun thing. Out of all my friends that I've made throughout highschool, in my senior year I can only count the ones who have been loyal on one hand, it's kind of sad but it's reality. I'm hella looking forward to life after highschool, don't hold yourself down for one person man, live life.

Do what's best for yourself. If she can't do long-distance, then even if you stay it's not going to last long, because her decision to not do long distance shows she doesn't care enough about you to put in the effort, and frankly if you don't want to either, I think it shows you're not willing to put in the effort either. Fuck her, it's not going to last anyway, go to school so you set yourself up better for the future, and don't let anyone else stop you from trying to get yourself into a better position in life. If you really love her, and she really loves you, you'll figure out a way to make long-distance work. If you can't, then she wasn't ever "the one," and you staying behind will just lead to the relationship falling apart and you beating yourself up thinking "Why didn't I just go to college?"

You've only just left high school. You'll get over it. [sp]kidding you wont your life is gonna be a katy perry song[/sp]

[QUOTE=gerbe1;46284022]High school romance does last after high school, it's just not overly common. And no it isn't laughable that they might find the one while you're a hormone driven teenager with few real world experiences. It's perhaps unlikely and the odds should be stated but I don't see why it has to be so harsh. tbh I would prefer to be stupid and love and be loved back for eternity than be as smart as Einstein and never have it last. That's a subjective statement.[/QUOTE] Quite literally picking 'the one' at his age is rediculous. Your values and principles change substantially during that time period and within a year or two you'll find yourself not feeling the same way as before, purely due to your developing nature. Trust me, I'm doing this shit right now in my life. OP, she's not tge one. I know its tough to think of you without her, but you're severely limiting yourself by attaching to a high school reationship. I feel you though

There seems to be a lot of misconception here. Some of you are saying that "if she wants you to stay and not leave for a uni, she doesn't actually love you". Fear not, that's not what's going on here at all, she isn't pressuring to do anything. If I do choose to go to the community college, it will only be for two years, then I'll go away to a university. We've talked about this a little, my expectations for how this might go is that we would just kind of go our separate ways, enjoy college life, date other people, do whatever. And then maybe, if we are to be together in the future, we'll come back and start our old relationship again. After further examination of my thoughts on the matter, I realize I'm not afraid for that to happen. It would be totally fine, and if neither of us can find that "best friends that just happen to love each other" kind of connection with anyone else, we could get back together.

Damn straight, split up absolutely, but be friends. Its the best relationship you can have, fuck girlfriends or wives, your most important people are the ones there for you without a fancy title

[QUOTE=ilikecorn;46290656]A high school relationship isn't damned to fail. I literally got married the day after high school ended and we've been together 6 years with 2 kids, and no sign of issues at hand.[/QUOTE] To be honest dude, that's really admirable. But I think what he was getting at is that most people have their first relationship in high school and that not all high school relationships are meant to last. Don't try to make it artificially last longer than it should. Obviously there are situations where it can work, but should it?

[QUOTE=ilikecorn;46290656]A high school relationship isn't damned to fail. I literally got married the day after high school ended and we've been together 6 years with 2 kids, and no sign of issues at hand.[/QUOTE] Oh of course it can work, though robbing yourself of the wealth of experiences post high school life has to offer is just silly in my mind. Marriage is for my 30s, before that is me-time [editline]20th October 2014[/editline] I could've made things work with my ex of two years, absolutely, but I just feel its necessary to take that path less travelled. We'll be together again if that's how it should be

See I'm the opposite, I try to experience all I can, even when it comes to women. Though I do agree on the importance of being friends over partners. Glad your shits going well

So yeah, I'm now beginning to realize that this thread was kind of me just wanting to know if there are people who have gotten back together after things like this. That is to say, I could meet someone that I find more amazing, there's just straight-up no way of telling, I just think it's unlikely. But hell, I definitely see what you mean about the "me time" aspect of things, I guess it's important to be able to have that freedom to, well, screw whoever you want, to be blunt. I'm only gonna be that age once. She's said stuff that that, so I think in a way I came here and realized something that she's already tried teaching me...? :v: I guess in the end, I think things will be okay regardless. We're happy now, and in the future, in our own way I think we'll be able to take on life together no matter how far apart we are and whether we're together or not.

Damn ilikecorn, i'm jealous of your life.

I'm attending my first year at University personally. I had a really good relationship with a great girl going into it, and being 3.5 hours away was an issue we talked about a lot. I let her know I wasn't all that good with long-distance relationships, but we made a promise to see how it would go, and we could break it up if it didn't work out. We tried to make it work, but a month or so in when I got back home for a weekend visit, the spark truly wasn't there. I didn't love her like I used to and didn't enjoy the time I spent with her like before, and since I didn't want to have a one-sided relationship, I broke up with her. I felt so bad for her and still do, knowing she probably still loved me, but a relationship isn't a good one if only one side loves the other. I guess that absence makes the heart grow fonder if there's real love there, but when I spent so much time away from her I realized that I just didn't truly love her. Honestly, I'm doing fine now. I started dating someone else here and even though the previous relationship was about a year and a half long, it wasn't all too hard to get over it. She was a great girl and I loved the time I spent with her, but I just couldn't handle the long distance relationship. I still spend an occasional moment thinking about what could have been, but I moved on. It was for the better. Things seem so much more serious during high school and the summer break before going to college, but college truly is a new life experience. Some of the best days of my life have been away from home here at college, and this independence and distance from my family is shaping me into a more responsible and experienced person. I'm biased seeing that I'm currently attending a university 3.5 hours away from home, but I would whole-heartedly recommend going to a university. The professors are usually leagues smarter and ten times more passionate than the ones at high school, and learning is way more fun than it was in high school. It's much more easy to meet people here especially considering most everyone else is in a new place away from their old lives. You can spend a long night with a girl without worrying about parents trying to figure out where you are, you can learn at your own accord, and you just have a sense of independence. [editline]20th October 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Nightscout;46290648]If I do choose to go to the community college, it will only be for two years, then I'll go away to a university. [B]We've talked about this a little, my expectations for how this might go is that we would just kind of go our separate ways, enjoy college life, date other people, do whatever. And then maybe, if we are to be together in the future, we'll come back and start our old relationship again. [/B]After further examination of my thoughts on the matter, I realize I'm not afraid for that to happen. It would be totally fine, and if neither of us can find that "best friends that just happen to love each other" kind of connection with anyone else, we could get back together.[/QUOTE] After realizing that a second page existed and seeing what you posted, I had the exact same conversation with my girlfriend at the time (especially the bolded part). While you seem to have more of a connecting with you, just know that it's not the end of the world to break up a high school relationship like that (at least for me.)

I was in a very serious high school relationship before uni. I wished at the time that we could have stayed together but the truth is that a breakup (especially from serious HS relationships) broadens your perspective massively and is ultimately very valuable in terms of learning some life lessons.

honestly, if she's the one, then long distance relationships will work if both of you are loyal to one another. That's how it was for about three years with my gf and now we're living together. Best thing in my life, EVER.

I broke up with my 'highschool true-love' of 5 years for another girl I met. I've been with her for a year now, and I haven't looked back since.

My friend had a hard time leaving for College due to her boyfriend. Like one week into college she met her current husband.

remember the rule about hard decisions. masturbate first, right after your done re-ask yourself the same question

First. You haven't even left home. You have NO IDEA what love even is. Second, dump her. There are literally MILLIONS of people exactly like her. If you don't find at least 10 girls exactly like her in a week, then you're not looking hard enough. Long distance relationships are lame lame lame. She's probably going to be banging people while you're gone. Just so you know. Might as well not make her feel guilty by still being with you.

I regret not killing my failing relationship off before I moved to university. It caused us both serious hurt and anguish, probably one of the most stupid decisions of my life.

please do not reference katy perry please and thank you

Who's referencing Katy Perry?

Yo if you go to community college, check out their graduation rate. Mine's 25%. Community college is like in rollercoaster tycoon 2, where you could put "DO NOT ENTER" signs around the entrance, so you can get in but not out. edit: also my gf goes to school 2 hours away from me and I just drive down there every couple weeks and spend the weekend with her. Also holidays. Don't underestimate how small the world is nowadays

What major do you plan on studying in college, or are you not entirely sure yet? If you're ambitious and have a clear goal, I feel you would have much better opportunities at university, although that's not to say that going to CC would be dooming yourself. It's very possible to still do well as a 3rd year transfer, but it could be hard adjusting all of a sudden into a new environment just as you start hitting upper division courses. That's as far as my academic advice goes. As for the relationship, I believe my sentiments have already been voiced by many in the thread. Focus on your education, don't invest too much in just one relationship that could easily fall apart.

It's a very hard decision you have here, and your cute story about how you two got together makes it painful for me to say this. If you really want to go to uni you should do it. I believe that you love each other and that she seems like "the one" to you, but as you get older you will realize that there are actually many "the ones" out there. You should NEVER let any girl be an obstacle for something thats meaningful to you and that you really want to do. Also, life doesn't end after uni, there is actually a chance that you guys will get together again if you break up. Whatever you choose to do, best of luck to you.

If you're going to put your dreams of a future career on hold for some highschool crush, maybe you don't belong in the university system.

[QUOTE=Emperor Scorpious II;46283880]High school romance is never adult romance and it will never last after high school. And it's laughable that you found "the one" while you're a hormone driven teenager who has few real-world experiences.[/QUOTE] While what you say is somewhat true, maybe "never" is a bit exaggerated, I know some couples (married) in their thirties and forties that are together since high school

I could say, do it. But in the other hand, is she really THE one? Like, I dated a girl for four weeks and instantly found out she was the one, but she broke up with me because of people bullying me about her. I would do it, do it for the chance to get lucky, or the chance to go on an adventure and seek out a love interest. My best friend made his choice back in Grade 7, now they have a kid together and are quite happy, besides the fact that they bicker constantly, but the love is still there. Falling in love with someone you know from heart is the best place to go. Don't let this opportunity slip through your fingers