I believe RayvenQ wants to commit suicide!!! Can someone please contact and help him !! - General

i can't tell you if your life is or isn't worth living, since I don't know you personally. I will say though, if you are hurting, you should reach out to people you know and let them know you are hurting. One of my friends recently committed suicide, and I didn't even know he was hurting. I hadn't talked to him in some time, so I wasn't too familiar with what he was up to, until he was gone. I still cared about him, and if I had known he was thinking about it I would have helped him

Well, I'm ever so slightly better, but its a cycle, I feel better, then i get the legs knocked from under me, then I'm like this, then something just manages to make me pause just enough and the cycle continues, and I am sick of it.

I know it's tough to do sometimes, and there can be a lot of fear or shame involved for many, many people, but please see your doctor. This isn't a 'hoho Dr FP can't handle this' thing - we're all here for you. But while you lean on us it's also important that a professional looks at the situation and does all the things they can do to help. And they can do [I]so much![/I]

[QUOTE=RayvenQ;48917760]Well, I'm ever so slightly better, but its a cycle, I feel better, then i get the legs knocked from under me, then I'm like this, then something just manages to make me pause just enough and the cycle continues, and I am sick of it.[/QUOTE] When you suffer from depression, it's a constant cycle. And conditioning yourself to not feel as though you want to give up every time you hit your low points is hard. But instead of focusing on the low points, really try to treat yourself at your high points. Find something you like to do or something that brings you a little bit of peace. My high points are when I can spend a little bit of money on myself for something small like a cool thing I wanted or some good food. It's tiny and almost insignificant, but it makes an impact. Self-care is incredibly important, especially when depression is often a life long affliction. But you can learn to take control of it and give yourself the love and care you need when you hit your lows in order to make your highs seem that much stronger and worth it. Like right now? That you're feeling a little better? It's a massive accomplishment. Fucking treat yourself, dude. Buy a new game or take a long nap or just watching a movie that you love to watch. You did something awesome and you deserve something good for it. I know you can get through this lower point in your life. All it takes is something worth trudging through it for. Even if it's just because you want to get back to your high.

Right now it's just a cycle of feeling absoloutely nothing, then feeling the worst I ever have, even though I have near 2 decades experience of dealing with it. If I hadn't had all my protective shields absoloutely knocked out from under me by how things happened, I'd be comping much better and wouldnt be like this, but I'm now missing whats been protecting me and keeping me holding on for 18 years now.

[QUOTE=RayvenQ;48917760]Well, I'm ever so slightly better, but its a cycle, I feel better, then i get the legs knocked from under me, then I'm like this, then something just manages to make me pause just enough and the cycle continues, and I am sick of it.[/QUOTE] I understand, there is only so much you can do before you're tired of it. But perhaps you're just tired of treading the same waters. Having the same conversations and tired of the mundane tasks that embed your life. Perhaps, you need a chance of pace a different outlook on your surroundings. From the gist of it all, you really do. You need to branch out, and when life kicks you down, don't try to let it keep you down for too long. Suffering from a major depressive disorder, a lot of my words would be hypocritical in saying that there is beauty out there. That you will find happiness or things will start to swing in your favor. As I have never experienced this type of anomaly in nature. But perhaps you will, perhaps all your strife will see the end of the storm, and the skies will give way. But perhaps you wont because you don't want too. And you can be hallowed out, left with just a husk which is your body and mind. Walking around in a crowded place just to see that it remains to be void and nullified of all meaning. Do not be sucked into the latter. Do not be one that suffers. You may find greatness one day, once again. Not all is lost, not all is forgotten.

You're grieving for what you lost, is the issue. It'll be a little while before you'll feel as though you can function again without it. Eighteen years is a long time and you definitely have to give yourself time to recover. Don't expect to be one hundred percent after what happened. But it's not something that you can't recover from. You just can't rush yourself to do so. But by the same token, you also need to find things that'll give you a little relief while you're taking that time to grieve. Occupy your time with small things that you're able to do. A hobby or something. Even if you can't put your heart into it right now, it'll still keep your mind and hands busy. Which is better than just stewing in emotion. There are ways to feel okay again, even if it's for a very short amount of time.

Have you ever had a change of scenery? Like moved to a whole new place? Even moving to a new city can help.

[QUOTE=onebit;48917990]You built your house on the wrong foundation.[/QUOTE] If you're not going to say helpful things at this time please don't say anything.

[QUOTE=onebit;48917990]You built your house on the wrong foundation.[/QUOTE] The foundation was good, it just got knocked down. [QUOTE=Sgt. Khorn;48918028]Have you ever had a change of scenery? Like moved to a whole new place? Even moving to a new city can help.[/QUOTE] Yeah...I absoloutely can't afford to do that whatsoever.

I do not exactly wish to speak about my own past involving these kinds of feelings, even though it was years ago I still feel a lot of guilt over ir. I don't think I can provide much advice, either, other than reaffirming what other people have said here and that there are still people who do care about you, very much. I don't know you personally, and I don't think I really will, but regardless, I think you should find the people in person who you know care about you, and, surround yourself with them. What of your family, friends? [editline]16th October 2015[/editline] By the way, if there's anything I can do to help you, ask me and I'll see what I can do

Please don't go. I understand if you truly decide you must, I can empathize with some of what you said you've been dealing with and I can tell you it's shit, yeah, but I believe you can come out of it on top for at least another good while. Make the most of the time you have, we're only around for so long anyway. I don't know if I personally can do anything for you, but I'd be willing to do what I can.

Unpopular opinion time: I don't know how you can get to the ripe old age of 30 and still handle a breakup this badly. It was only for two years as well? Calling your ex a fucking sociopath / psychopath because she chose what was best for her in her life (which I don't blame her for, you only live once, I'd do whatever is best for myself as well, and I definitely wouldn't act like I owe it to someone to stay with them forever just cause I'm dating them) is pretty unfair imo. It sucks super hard that you're depressed and having thoughts of suicide, but I think the best thing you could do right now is surround yourself with friends / family. Sitting in your room and just beating yourself up and drowning yourself out with all these self-damaging thoughts ain't gonna do nothing but keep you down. Suicide definitely isn't the way to go, either. There's still plenty to live for. Plus you've got all these people here trying to help you out, which means you've had a positive effect on their lives and it'd make them feel awful if you decided to go through with it. I'm sure it's not just these people on the forums, you've got close friends and family who'd really miss having you around. Sorry to sorta kick you when you're down, but genuinely, although what you had with that girl was the best two years of your life, you're still pretty young in the grand scheme of things. There's still so much more for you to experience and people to meet. You might meet someone a few months down the line in the most surprising way and get to have those 7 years of an amazing relationship that you wish you had with this girl. I think your pre-existing condition of depression is just making normal breakup shitty feelings 10x worse, and you gotta realise that if you just fight off these shitty feelings, you'll eventually go back to feeling how you were before (I dunno if I could say "happy" but maybe "indifferent"? At least that rather than wanting to commit suicide).

You're doing this wrong mate. You don't give rough advice to people who are on the verge of suicide. That's not how it fucking works at all. Rough advice comes later when they're more stable.

just do what I do whenever I hate myself and get blind drunk.

[QUOTE=butre;48919115]just do what I do whenever I hate myself and get blind drunk.[/QUOTE] unhelpful

[QUOTE=Maloof?;48919119]unhelpful[/QUOTE] it works for me

[QUOTE=butre;48919130]it works for me[/QUOTE] This is not about you. This is about us coming together to help somebody who is suffering from a severe low period of depression. Suggesting self-destructive behaviors like non-prescribed drug use or alcohol abuse is not what this discussion needs.

[QUOTE=butre;48919130]it works for me[/QUOTE] By that logic suicide also "works". Seriously you're not being witty or funny or whatever you're trying to be. There is a time and place for dark comedy or whatever the fuck you're doing and it isn't in a thread like this.

If you're committed to ending it, then you have nothing to lose. So I say go out with a bang. Spend the last few days going wild: take a ride on a choo-choo train, visit a petting zoo; and if you still feel up to it: get licked to death by puppies. That's how I'd wanna go

[QUOTE=abcpea;48919219]If you're committed to ending it, then you have nothing to lose. So I say go out with a bang. Spend the last few days going wild: take a ride on a choo-choo train, visit a petting zoo; and if you still feel up to it: get licked to death by puppies. That's how I'd wanna go[/QUOTE] I'd want to be on a choo choo train with a bunch of rabid puppies that derails into a petting zoo.

Please remember also that it doesn't take much research to find hundreds of accounts of people who have had failed suicide attempts, and a vast majority of them realised during the attempt (often after the point of no return) that there were solutions to their problems, and that the problems weren't worth dying for. I imagine it wasn't necessarily a case of seeing exactly what those solutions were, but rather the realisation that hunkering down and weathering the storm was far more important and worthwhile than throwing it all away. There are professionals who can help you find those solutions. Here in NZ I can get some free counselling sessions via my GP, with free higher level psychotherapy available if I need it too. If your GP's office doesn't offer this, find one that does. The investment of time is only that - time. And you might not click with the first counselor you meet, that's okay. They should be open to allowing you to bring this up and switch to another counselor. The investment of your time in this is the most valuable investment you will make. Please seek it out.

Man, I don't think I'll ever get to know you personally, but hear this: There's lots of shit worth living for. You can come out on top as long as you want to. I realize what happened to you is extremely painful, but you have to fight it as much as you can. Your life WILL improve from this. For now, all I can say is to do what you like - be it games, jogging, cards - I believe it helps one keep a cool head.

Imagine yourself as a pixel on a monitor/screen/whatever. All the other pixels are everyone you know. The collective lives of everyone represented as a pixel are the viewer. It may seem like compared to the whole tv, you're just a tiny part that really doesn't matter much and that it doesn't matter if you killed yourself/died. Now think of the viewer (the collective lives of everyone else). While it may have seemed like to you that you were insignificant, you are now the single most impacting thing for everyone else you know because of your death. The now blank (white) space you used to fill is now the most significant (noticeable) thing in the entire group of people (screen) and will forever impact everyone (again, the screen). [sp]I know it's a bit corny but I wanted to help.[/sp]

Rayven, I know you said your relationship ending was a catalyst for these feelings, and that you feel like you'll never be able to trust anyone again - but time can heal all wounds. Obviously at the moment you're still reeling from the break-up, which is understandable, it can take a lot of time to get over someone - especially in the circumstance you described. But... as far as love is concerned - the girl you lost, she's a person. There are over 7 billion people in the world today. Statistically, many will be like her. Hundreds, probably thousands will be just like her. And quite a few, as far as you're concerned, will be [B]better[/B]. If you decide to end things now, when your judgement is affected by the breakup, you'll deny yourself the chance to meet that special person - the one who won't abandon you. In time, you [I]will[/I] learn to trust again, because if you've made it this far living with all your problems, you're made of damn strong stuff. Please don't end it all now and destroy any chance of happiness you have. You never know what's around the corner - imagine if you ended it tonight, not knowing tomorrow you will meet someone special who ends up being the person you spend your life with. Life is full of pain and misery, as you know. But those things make the love and happiness we experience so much sweeter. Death is the end, the end of all possibilities. Once life is over, it's over. Please don't extend that eternity. In life, all things must end - relationships, careers, good times, friendships. But darkness, depression - they also come to an end. You just have to keep carrying the fire, and holding out for the next break in the clouds for the Sun to shine through again.

I don't know if it's fair to try to force someone to live through a lifetime of guaranteed physical anguish due to severe scoliosis.

First Sobotnik, now Rayven? Christ, don't go through with it man. Even with the absolute anguish, there indeed has to be help somewhere for you.

Reading this thread I feel the need to contribute, I've lived and live through similar emotions RayvenQ and lost three of my friends to suicide one of them a best friend, you've bought tears to my eyes with your honesty. I know it doesn't mean much from us random dudes, but stay strong people do care, though it can seem very bleak we need those downs in our lives or it would get pretty stale pretty fast; think on it, and yep your ex sounds like a harpie, I can relate with that too but live for yourself not for others it's fucking hard but you can do it, it feels heartless but fuck it you are important too.

Like I told someone else who went through a similar situation as you, I know I'll sound like an asshole when I say this, but [QUOTE=Soriddo;47741373][IMG]http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2015-04/27/15/enhanced/webdr02/enhanced-25945-1430163345-12.jpg[/IMG] Man up, don't let some selfish cunt ruin your life.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Soriddo;48921473]Like I told someone else who went through a similar situation as you, I know I'll sound like an asshole when I say this, but[/QUOTE] I feel like Ravyen losing his significant other, to breaking away, [i]reason[/i] why hes here. We're just skimming the surface to a much more accumulated topic. Years of torment has a number on you, and sometimes it takes 1 thing to set off an eruption.