• Think you've read bad fan fiction? Take a look at these. The Gutwrenching Fan Fic thread
    264 replies, posted
[IMG]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2523/4109753134_e6d9ec8aaa.jpg[/IMG]
[QUOTE=juhana;20227755]Here's a really bad one: [URL]http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3339050/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Very_Merry_Library_Adventure[/URL][/QUOTE] I stopped reading after the first 5 words
This Power Rangers fanfic, "Agony in Pink" is very VERY hard to read. [url]http://www.asstr.org/files/Collections/Old_Joe%27s_Collection/Serials/Agony%20in%20Pink%20-%20Special%20Edition.txt[/url] I barely managed to read all of it. It's truly an awful masterpiece of shiterature
[url]http://www.freewebs.com/bonsaimallorn4/Celebrian.htm[/url] I've read it, I wasn't that bothered by it but all my friends were disgusted. Make of it what you will.
[quote=oh god]Her poke-vagina was yellow with infection[/quote] [img]http://dog.fpsbanana.com/ico/sprays/frame_0_1.png[/img]
[QUOTE]White mixed with black blood as he pulled out. Blood and feces dribbled out. The sight of Gardevoir laying there, whimping, smeared with mud, blood, cum, and her own feces unlocked something deep within David's soul"[/QUOTE] I almost want to get a degree in psychology just so I can find out how the FUCK this could turn anyone on.
[QUOTE=Lambda 77 :D;20234186]I almost want to get a degree in psychology just so I can find out how the FUCK this could turn anyone on.[/QUOTE] WHY DO I KEEP CLICKING ON THIS THREAD. ARAHG I'M TRYING TO EAT. Seriously, that part made me "What the fuck?" but I was compelled to read on. I wish I didn't D:
[url]http://rogue.macrophile.com/stories/behind.html[/url] :psyduck:
[QUOTE=Joppu;20225666]This is just obligatory. [B]DOOM: Repercussions of Evil[/B] John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway. John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy." Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS" There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons. "This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!" So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall. "HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons "I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill. "No! I must kill the demons" he shouted The radio said "No, John. You are the demons" And then John was a zombie.[/QUOTE] But that, like squirrelking's writing too, was made to parody fanfictions.
[QUOTE=Smasher 006;20233863]I have to know, Was someone actually banned for that reason, or did someone shop it in.[/QUOTE] It's real. [url]http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=531908[/url] [editline]19:40[/editline] I'm not too sure now, but this is Hezzys doings.
[quote]Ron finally entered via a mysterious ceiling entrance that not even he himself knew about[/quote] I laughed so hard at this part. [editline]07:52PM[/editline] Also: [quote] World of Warcraft In the futures, people were run out of Internet, so they had to make ration of internet! But on day, all the nerds went to the internet maschine, to make a stealing from the internet so they could make a play World of Warcraft all the time! The police heard of their crimes with their megaphone. The nerds went back to their computers and made a playing on warcrafts. They wore many goggles and made that Star Trek sign with their hands at each other. Suddenly, the police burst into the rom. "YOU SHALL NOT MAKE A STEALING FROM THE INTERNET!" yell police, and they make a shooting at the nerds. "You shall no shoot us!" they make a shouting, and they hide behind the internet. The police bullets shot the internet! "BUT THIS WAS THE LAST INTERNETS WE HAD!!!!!!!!!!" scream police, and the internet exploded and no more internets. [/quote]
Just when you thought chewbacca was ruined forever, read the dry bones one. :smithicide:
I think my favourite Hans Von Hozel story is the one called "Komissar Rex". Apparently, he seems to think that Rex is a dinosaur cop: [QUOTE]Kommissar Rex Rex was in Dinosaur Police school, to make a learnings of police! Rex hold a diploma. "You have passed school!" say Brontosaur, "Now you can go to police station!" And so Rex made a running into Police Station. "NO A DINOSAUR!" shotued Police, as Rex made a running about the station. "I am Rex!" say Rex, "I am here to make a training as police!" But the human police made a rejection of him. "The humans have made rejection of Dinosaur!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" scream Rex, and so Rex made an eatings of all the police. "Oh no I have eated all Police!" say Rex, as criminals make a crimes across the city. [/QUOTE] Here's his Titanic fanfic: [QUOTE]Titanic The Titanic was swimming on the sea. Suddenly, an iceberg apeared! "Oh no!" said Titanic, and it tried to run away from the iceberg, but the iceberg started to follow Titanic! Then the iceberg jumped on top of the Titanic and started to boat rape! "YOU GET OFF ME NOW!" said Titanic, but Titanic was much to weak to fend of the attacking iceberg! The iceberg laughed as it contained it's pleasures. "I shall make you take!" yelled the Iceberg. The Titanic tried to off it shake, but suddenly, the iceberg inserted its ice into the ship, and a hole was in the Titanic. "Oh no." said Titanic, as it sinkt under the water. Then the iceberg touched the water and melted. [/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=mzathemind;20234735]Just when you thought chewbacca was rined forever, read the dry bones one. :smithicide:[/QUOTE] I read it while listening to this. [url]http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/nintendo/nes/Smbunder.mid[/url] Brought both hilarity and sickness.
[quote]he slid up next to her. "how does it look, nurse?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. "not very good, i'm afraid the rejuvenation chamber won't be enough for--" "no, not the pokemon. Your cunt."[/quote] whyyy
[QUOTE=Gubbinz96;20233908]This Power Rangers fanfic, "Agony in Pink" is very VERY hard to read. [URL]http://www.asstr.org/files/Collections/Old_Joe%27s_Collection/Serials/Agony%20in%20Pink%20-%20Special%20Edition.txt[/URL] I barely managed to read all of it. It's truly an awful masterpiece of shiterature[/QUOTE] i have been looking for this after a friend read this over a skype convo, thank you so much, now i can read it to little kids on video games
[QUOTE=juhana;20227755]Here's a really bad one: [url]http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3339050/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Very_Merry_Library_Adventure[/url][/QUOTE] He then cast a spell, turning Ron into a frog, and shoved the small amphibian up Hermione’s ass. What the fuck [editline]03:28PM[/editline] "He tore the fetus from its womb and ate its face, then smeared the rest of its body all over the floor and licked it up."
[QUOTE=Leo Leonardo;20235255]He then cast a spell, turning Ron into a frog, and shoved the small amphibian up Hermione’s ass. What the fuck [/QUOTE] Yeah, I hope I've forgotten that sentence by the time the Deathly Hollows movies come out, it could seriously ruin the whole film experience.
[QUOTE=DANKA;20222683] I DONT EVEN WANT TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT THIS WHAT THE FUCK [url]http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/07/fan_fiction_friday_the_pokemon_story.php[/url] [/QUOTE] What the fuck did i just read?
I believe I've found the single greatest line of all time. "[i]He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.[/i]"
[QUOTE=Ivebo;20236158]I believe I've found the single greatest line of all time. "[i]He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.[/i]"[/QUOTE] Nah, greatest line is in the story I posted above. Something about a 2 foot long dick with moles on it.
[QUOTE=Ivebo;20236158]I believe I've found the single greatest line of all time. "[I]He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I’m a girl so I didn’t get one you sicko.[/I]"[/QUOTE] No, man, [i] [B]The tree where I lost my virility to Draco[/i][/B]
[quote]Harry’s anus throbbed with anticipation as he frolicked with glee to the Hogwarts campus library to meet Ron and Hermione.[/quote] I'm sorry, I just couldn't read any more.
I once came across an Um Jammer Lammy Family guy crossover Fanfiction. I didn't dare read it.
My dick actually fucking hurt as I was reading the pokemon one. No fucking joke.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq4DGqx5nqI[/media]
[quote]"Holy Shit!!" exclaimed Elaine Benes as she opened the door to Jerry Seinfeld's apartment!! There to her dismay were her three good friends, Jerry, George Costanza and Cosmo Kramer all pleasuring themselves on the couch! She could see plainly that all three men were naked and furiously masturbating up a storm as a cheap porno movie played on the television. Kramer spastically tried to cover his privates with a nearby pillow, almost knocking himself off the couch in the process. "'lanie!!" Jerry shrieked with some dismay in his voice. "It's not what it seems!" Jerry looked at Elaine and pleaded with his eyes for her to listen and not bolt out of the apartment as she was likely to do. "Well what the fuck ARE you doing???" She shot back. "I can explain it all!" George said as he raised up off the couch and stood before her. Elaine looked up and down at George's body and tried unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh; it was no use. She chortled and grinned as she looked at his manhood. All 3 inches of it sticking out like some obscene, little worm. "Hey hey hey!!" George shouted!! " I didn't really have a chance to play with it yet! Give me a minute and it'll be much longer.. MUCH!" He said in a dignified voice, with just a bit of hurt in it. Kramer, now a bit more composed, also raised up off the couch. "Look Elaine" he began to say. But Elaine wasn't listening. She was too intent on Kramer's throbbing manhood, eyeing it the way a hungry dog eyes a steak bone. She licked her lips and said " MY god you are huge!!!" It was true. Kramer was the opposite of George in many respects and the sizes of their manhood differed as much as anything else. " We just had a wage...." but before Kramer could finish, Elaine was on her knees licking up and down his massive 12" cock. George stood transfixed, watching Elaine as she massaged and caressed their friend's member. Soon his hand found his still erect cock and began to masturbate as he locked eyes with her. Jerry gasped loudly from the couch and then replied "Wait for me!" He jumped up and stood to the other side of Kramer, forming a circle with all three men around Elaine. "OOOHHH YEAH BABY!!!" Kramer giggled excitedly. "Suck it... Suck it for daddy!!" [/quote] ~~2 be continued~~
Oh god. I don't want to do anything anymore. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. This thread single handedly destroyed my childhood. Thank you internet.
[quote=sigma-lambda;20238049]seinfeld story[/quote] nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
if anyone's seen the end of 2001: a space oddesy, they'd know the amount of mindfuck i'm going through by reading this thread.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.