Think you've read bad fan fiction? Take a look at these. The Gutwrenching Fan Fic thread
264 replies, posted
These stories are so bad i can't even do a dramatic reading of them.
Drug me first, it may work.
[quote]It stood erect and proud, pointing straight towards the mighty heavens.[/quote]
I fucking Rolfed at this.
[U][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88OvNyjgZdY[B][/media][/B][/U]
Definitely the worst I've seen in a while.
Chewie smiled a devilish smile at Han, reached under his fur and pulled out a cigarette.
[QUOTE=McMissile;20242799][U][URL="http://www.facepunch.com/#"]View YouTUBE video[/URL] [/U]
[U][URL]http://youtube.com/watch?v=88OvNyjgZdY[/URL][/U]
Definitely the worst I've seen in a while.[/QUOTE]
Someone played this on tf2, everyone on the server was disturbed
How could noone point out the galaxy pasta yet.
pokevagina
i fucking lost it
The tf2 story I read was the worst thing to ever assault my mind, and trust me I have seen some of the worst mankind can offer. Let me delve on this shit. No peice of literature has shook me. It was so odd It wasn't even funny.
[QUOTE=McMissile;20242799][U][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88OvNyjgZdY[B][/media][/B][/U]
Definitely the worst I've seen in a while.[/QUOTE]
Oh god, that was disturbing and hilarious at the same time
[QUOTE=mzathemind;20244521]The tf2 story I read was the worst thing to ever assault my mind, and trust me I have seen some of the worst mankind can offer. Let me delve on this shit. No peice of literature has shook me. It was so odd It wasn't even funny.[/QUOTE]
The engineer... the heavy and medic... the poor spy... :smith:
[QUOTE=juhana;20234945]Titanic fanfic[/QUOTE]
I laughed uncontrollably for a good minute whilst reading that. Thank you.
[QUOTE=DainBramageStudios;20230820]You mean where the announcer traps them all underground for a hundred years or so and tortures them?
[editline]04:02PM[/editline]
and turns pyro into a woman and turns spy into a blob and removes scouts tongue and fuses heavy and medic together and drives soldier insane oh god what the fuck
[editline]04:05PM[/editline]
Here it is:
[URL]http://www.tf2chan.net/fanfic/res/4256.html[/URL]
[editline]04:06PM[/editline][/QUOTE]
That is actually not bad. I liked it quite a bit. It was disturbing and fucked up, yes, but it was also very entertaining.
/breaksdown from the pokemon one in op
[QUOTE=pie_is_good;20222688]My Immortal
[editline]08:12PM[/editline]
[URL]http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/[/URL][/QUOTE]
That's the definitive one Ladies and Gents.
Helped to coin the term "Troll Fic."
Squad broken I'd have to agree with.
Best thing to steer people away from Warhammer.
[QUOTE=DainBramageStudios;20230820][URL]http://www.tf2chan.net/fanfic/res/4256.html[/URL][/QUOTE]
Fuck sake, Why did they have to rip off the best piece of literature turned point 'n click adventure game I've seen?
[QUOTE=Thaard;20238462]nooooooooooooooooooooo!!![/QUOTE]
Part 2: The 2-ening
[quote]His hands began to push up and down on Elaine's head as she took in as much of his cock as she could. Up and down her head went.. soft slurping noises came from her mouth as she tightened her lips around his member...then pulling it out and pushing her tongue through his cock head. Licking that slit where his cum flows and now rubbing his balls as well.
"You like that don't you Kramer??" she said almost in a whisper. "I'd like some of that too!" George said with a horny growl. Kramer just moaned more and then out of the corner of his eye saw Jerry's body tense up. His eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he grunted hard "Ugggggggghhhhhhh fffffuucccccckkkkk!!" Hot streams of white gooey cum splashed into Elaine's dark hair. She seemed oblivious but just for a second.
Quickly she wheeled around on her knees and started licking the cum off Jerry's cock head. Her hands found Kramer and George's shafts (or what passed for a shaft in George's case) and began to pump them. "Oh that feels so incredible Elaine!!" George hissed through his teeth. " You gotta suck me next though! I haven't had a good blowjob in weeks!!"
Elaine tried to mouth something to him but couldn't; Jerry's cock was in the back of her throat and he was fucking her mouth as hard as he could. "Yeah!! Ahhh what a warm mouth you have 'lanie! I almost forgot how good this feels with you!" "Fuck this!" Said George. " I want some pussy and George Costanza doesn't believe in waitin' if he doesn't have to!!" With that George pulled his cock out of Elaine's hand, then joined her on the floor. Soon his hands were working to unfasten the strap on her skirt, trying to get it undone so he would have an easier time taking her then and there. The buttons seemed to pop free very easily after a few moments and he pulled it down over her knees and legs. She still was sucking on Jerry and stroking up and down on Kramer's huge cock.
"Yeah this is what I've been waiting YEARS for!" George shouted aloud. It was as though he had just won the NY lottery. As he finally eyed Elaine's crotch he could see she had on just a small thong. He then proceeded to pull it off and threw it on his pile of clothes. "I'll keep this as a souvenir for later!" he thought to himself. Then with a quick motion he placed his head under Elaine's pussy and begin to lick her outer lips. She momentarily stopped sucking Jerry's cock so she could absorb this feeling. It had been a long time for her too since a man had gone down on her.
As he sat there gasping she felt George's tongue slide up and down her slit, over her clit and then back where it started, only to repeat the process over and over. She moaned and pulled Jerry's cock from her mouth. Between her legs she could feel herself getting wetter by the moment, and when she turned back around she saw George was masturbating himself as he licked her pussy. "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" She said.
George was lost inside his own little world at this point. He slid a finger deep inside Elaine as his mouth cupped her clit and began to suck it around inside his mouth. She gasped more and started to grind her pussy hard on his face, coating his lips, mouth and tongue with her juices. George held her clit into place with his teeth and moved his tongue back and forth against it. He knew this trick worked on Susan and thought that perhaps Elaine would like it as well! She did and her trickle of wetness now became a flood and George was hard pressed to swallow it all.
He released her clit from his mouth and moved his tongue to her pussy's opening. He then slid it inside her body, making it firm and rigid like a cock, but with the flexibility no man's organ has. From side to side he wiggled it, making Elaine shudder, then cum hard on his face. Before either of them realized it, she had came several times. George didn't have much in the way of manhood but he was a proficient pussy eater.
"Hoochie Mama!" Shouted Kramer, as he saw how Elaine's body was reacting to George's tongue. He then knelt down and came up behind her. "Here, we gotta get this off." he said as he tugged on her shirt. On cue Elaine took both hands and pulled off her spandex running top. Her breasts were a nice C cup and the nipples were a dark brown, jutting out like two little erasers. Kramer motioned for George to get out of the way so he could get into a doggy style position. "Well ya want your blowjob George?" Now's the time to take action man!" He hollered.
George got up and raced around in front of Elaine, then laid down in front of her and spread his legs. Jerry said "one sec" and then walked over to his Superman magnet on his refrigerator. "You don't need to see this" He then took the magnet off and laid it face down on the kitchen counter before strolling back over.
George was now masturbating and looking into Elaine's eyes once more. "Ok I did you" He said in an excited voice. "Now you do me!!" Elaine lowered her mouth and took George's small member inside as Kramer began to fuck her sopping wet pussy. "Hoochie MAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMAAAAAAAA!!" He said once more. Jerry stood by and began to masturbate once more. "Oh yeah this is cool!" He said. Then he seemed to be lost in deep thought for a bit, ran to his bedroom and brought back a camcorder. "'I'm gonna want to see this again in the future!" He chimed.
He set the camcorder down and turned it on to record. The red light flashed and soon all three of his friend's sexual activity was caught on tape.
[/quote]
~To be concluded in Seinfeld Sex Part 3: Electric Boogaloodammit I fucked up the reference~
<------ my face
Good god, the TF2 one really scared me.
[quote=space spam squid;20224473][url]http://www.toplessrobot.com/2010/02/fan_fiction_friday_harry_potter_and_the_surprise_p.php#more[/url]
hermione commands an army of dick spiders to rape all of the gryffindor boys.[/quote]
sweet jesus fuck
[QUOTE=mzathemind;20244521]The tf2 story I read was the worst thing to ever assault my mind, and trust me I have seen some of the worst mankind can offer. Let me delve on this shit. No peice of literature has shook me. It was so odd It wasn't even funny.[/QUOTE]
Having read the original short story that it was based on, it was pretty damn good.
[quote=Harry Potter Fanfic]Harry’s anus throbbed with anticipation as he frolicked wi-[/quote]
I stopped reading there.
You read the part about Heavy and medics sodomy first and think the story would be funny. It is so disturbing the sodomy fits. First time when male sodomy doesn't get to you.
A really bad sex-themed real people fanfic that I found:
[QUOTE]Kate was exhausted from all of this touring! Her new band ROFLCAKES had taken off
and now had a large underground following, specifically among young anime fans and
older, creepier men.
The band was made up of Kate on vocals, 1Justin on harmonica and Claudia on banjo.
Somehow they made these instruments sound like hardcore emo-tronica with hints of
folk-core and heavy country.
There was a writer from Pitchfork Media in the audience, reviewing their show.
“Holy cow! The house is full to-night!” Kate exclaimed into the microphone.
“What?” Justin said.
Kate was too busy working the harmonica with her vagina to take any notice of the black
terror that watched her from the audience.
She could see two eyes staring at her. Through her. Into her.
Those eyes belonged to Christopher Walken, famed actor.
Walken stormed the stage and grabbed the mic from Kate.
“Well…hello Kate” he breathed heavily.
“Holy canoly! It’s Christopher Walken” Kate exclaimed, eyes wide in wonder and
absolute terror.
“That’s right…Kate. It is I, Christopher Walken, and I am gonna…rape you” he moaned.
“NOOOOO!!” Justin and Claudia shouted as they lunged at Christopher.
Christopher held up his hand and the two flew backwards.
“I have….powers, Kate. POWERS!” he shouted.
“W-what kind of powers, Mr. Walken?” Kate asked.
“RAPE POWERS” Christopher replied, his eyes wide.
“Leapin’ Langoliers!” Kate said, scared.
“That’s right, Kate. I’m gonna show you somethin’ reaaaal cool” he said.
“But first,” Christopher said, “I have a couple of friends for Justin and Claudia.”
And with that, Christopher snapped his fingers.
Two figures appeared out of thin air. One was Danny DeVito, and the other was Rhea
Pearlman.
“These are my friends, Danny and Rhea. They’re going to keep Justin and Claudia busy
as I show you my powers” Walken said, his eyes dark.
“Show me what?” Kate asked.
“THIS!” Walken shouted.
Before Kate could look something shot from Walken’s pants. It was a giant mutant cock!
The cock had forced its way into Kate’s young, fragrant, and cleanly shaven vagina.
“OH GOD! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?? AGAIN?? I WAS SO HAPPY
WITH MY MUSIC CAREER!!” Kate screamed.
“NO! KATE! CLAUDIA! DO SOMETHING!” Justin shouted.
“Not so fast, boy” Danny said, rubbing his pudgy little hands together.
“Oh, shit. Danny DeVito! What did my parents tell me about Danny Devito?” Justin said.
Before Justin could remember the advice his parents gave him, he was bent over an
amplifier by Danny and being ass raped.
“Sweet Holy Christ!” Justin screamed, “WHY IS THIS HAPPENING! OH GOD
PLEASE SAVE ME!! CLAUDIA!! DO SOMETHING!!”
“Shut up, bitch!” Danny replied angrily.
Danny was pissed! He was so full of white-hot rage and he began to beat Justin to death
with a guitar.
“ABAROGB!! YOU FUCKING CANADIAN!!” Danny shrieked.
Justin was dead, Danny had failed in raping him.
“NOOOOO!” Danny said as he melted to a pool of acid.
Claudia was being held down by Rhea Pearlman and being raped real hardcore.
“OH KATE!! I NOW KNOW THE PAIN OF BEING RAPED!” she screamed, her lips
flecked with blood.
Meanwhile, Walken was continuing to rape Kate.
“YOU WILL FEEL THE POWER OF THE WALKEN” he screeched madly as his other
cocks began to penetrate her other orifices.
Soon, cocks were shooting out of Walken and penetrating the audience, Claudia, Rhea,
and Justin’s corpse.
“I AM THE RAPEMASTER!” he screamed.
“MMMMGFPHGGGGGB” Kate said, her mouth full of cock.
Walken began to focus his energy.
He sent a shockwave of power through his cocks and killed everyone.
Kate’s body now looked more like a deer that had been hit by a jumbo jet going the speed
of light. Only her small, virginal breasts remained.
“I AM THE RAPE MASTER” Christopher repeated and vanished.[/QUOTE]
This next one isn't exactly a fanfic, but is indeed something very horrible; a disgusting cannibalism sexfic:
[URL]http://rammfics.ifastnet.com/slash/youeat.htm[/URL]
I wonder if he'll post The Other Story next week.
Darkening Dusk - A Twilight Fanfiction
[quote] Edward was gazing into my eyes and I was gazing back into his eyes. His eyes were a radienter amber. Not like a dark amber it was like really bring amber. I was reminded of the colour of my own urine after eating asparagus for dinner. His eyebrows were arched sexily like he was seeing right throguh my clothes and thinking "yeah...I'd hit it, but maybe I'll have a rum and coke first". Close to the corner of his eye there was a speckle of black. I think it may have been an eyelash that had gotten stuck onto his eyeball juice like a little caterpiller water-skiing over the moon. Still, I continued to stare longingly into his illuminous and deepful soul windows till I could see my own reflection. My hair was really scruffy (not like a homeless person of course but like the style some supermodels wear in photoshoots) and I major chagrined.
"Bellapoo, my speshul snowflake, we shall be parted for an undetermined period and my soul is writing in austere anguish! Oh! The adversity! The discomfort! The misery!"
"I comprehend, my adonis-like sparklepants. I too am matyring over our impending seperation!"
I turned to the side dramatically and placed my hand on my cheek in a woefull pose. Flicking my hair seductively so that Edward would get a look at how stylishly messy it is and admire it. I chagrinated greatly before fretting again. How fould I find lethargy now without snuggling up to my stone cold discoball of a husband! Oh,how beautiful he looks when he is escorted by the sandman into the land of dreams! He wears silken pyjama bottoms. Beige, reminicent to the shade of Irish coffee and the vomit which spewed out of my gaping mouth as I stuck my finger down my throat on a bad hangover, except without the traces of blood. His alabaster skin is frosty, imagine if you will cuddling a giant popsicle. I lick him too while he slumbers, he tastes like mango, cherry and human flesh. My Edward elongated while I began to drool.
"Will you watch over our microscopic sex fruit Rennesmoo while I am gone my brunette insufficient lamb?"
Edward bellowed lovingly while stroking my brunette tresses.
"Explicitly! I will, Glitter Butt!"
I thew my limbs encompassing him and wept. He grabbed my head and yanked it up affectionately and spoke to me. My sobbing made me chagrin a little more. His voice was unearthly beatiful, similar to listening to a Mariah Carey album on loop while crashing two dustbin lids together."
"Oh, my SnowyTits, before I set off on my travels, may I please jizz onto your toast and have awareness of you devouring it?"
Without a word I presented to him the porclain plate on which my toast lay. Edward's peepers widened so you could see the little red veins typing his pupils to the back of his eyeball sockets and preventing them from popping out with a slick "pop!" and rolling accross the floor.
Edward's ding dong monster peeped it's head chagrinly from his exposed zipper. It took a look at me and crept shyly back in again. My beloved's pants-eel was frequantly an undeveloped shy. I believe this is why Edward had remained a virgin all these years up untill our marriage.
"Now come on my little friend", I coo'd to my husband's romance maggot "I won't bite! Teehee!"
It shot out again, firm and hard as hard piece of wood that was painted white. Edward began to wrestle with his affection-worm. Jerking it back and forth, his cool white hands caressing it vehemently. They were as white as virgin snow settling on our garden early on a winter's morning, and like a large chunk of dandruff I'd encountered on Edward's coat...so flakey it was, I licked it and a piece crumbled off onto my tongue which I gleefully swallowed. I wanted to save the rest of it, so I wear it in a locket around my neck.
I could tell that Edward was advancing towards orgasm because his eyes had upper lip had begun twitching. Small drops of precious pre-vampire juice were trickling out of him as he milked his sex larvee. A small line of drool journeyed from interier of his upper lip and dripped nonchalently onto my flippantly buttered toast. His palms rubbed faster and faster, my Edward's statuesque torso began to twitch to the left like a frignteed trout thrashing in the water with only his left fin. His anus relaxed to let out an obstreperous burst of gas. It was time.
"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Edward squeeled in measureless gratification. His eyes firmly sealed, teeth clenched into a strange smile as if he were pushing out a rather ample turd that was plugging his butthole. Edward Cullen's passion leech spurted out a thick, slithering, glittering stream of goo that plopped down onto the toast like a dazzling margarine spread.
"UUUGH! UH UGGH! UH!"
My beloved grunted like a pig as the lst remains of his dazzling vampire juice slithered out of him. His little friend had shrivled up again and reminded me of a little snow covered prune. I picked up the toast and savoured every last mouthful of my husband's seamen.
"Teehee I'm consuming undeveloped Renessmoos!"
I giggled, my eyes boring up into his. He slapped me in the face with his man rod and I sighed with chagrin and concluded my extraordinary clenched me by the hair and yanked me up to an upright position so tenderly.
"I guess it's time now my FruityPussy. Oh, my heart is lamenting! Bella! I shall never misrecollect you, and I promise that I shall reoccur in your arms again!"
Tears brindled, down my face. My Eddy was leaving and I was to be individual! For one aftermost instant I had him before me, I was chagrinning, yet I spoke to him in my most tender voice.
"Don't obliterate to purchase milk, and make doubtless you're returned by five for dinner".
Those voyages to the local store are heartbreaking! [/quote]
[QUOTE=McMissile;20242799][U][media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88OvNyjgZdY[B][/media][/B][/U]
Definitely the worst I've seen in a while.[/QUOTE]
Oh what the fuck.
[QUOTE=juhana;20250203]“I AM THE RAPEMASTER!” he screamed.
“MMMMGFPHGGGGGB” Kate said, her mouth full of cock.[/QUOTE]
Oh God, I don't know whether to laugh or puke :byodood:
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