So you had an empty tissue box and even [i]now[/i] you wish your first thought would have been to jizz in your hands? What the hell.
[QUOTE=Asmaedus;20794174]My cat hates me because I landed on it because I fell off my chair from laughing.
Apologise to my cat please.[/QUOTE]
*meow, meow meow, hiss* :3:
I call total bullshit on this one. 7 feet? Really? I've hit the roof of the inside of a car before, but the idea of your penis just sticking out, presumably not straight up, and ejaculating 7 feet up is just ridiculous. Not to mention how easy it is to clean a painted wall.
Wtf do you cum bucket loads or something?
[editline]09:49PM[/editline]
What the fuck!
[editline]09:49PM[/editline]
Agree with above post.
[QUOTE=fenwick;20807408]I call total bullshit on this one. 7 feet? Really? I've hit the roof of the inside of a car before, but the idea of your penis just sticking out, presumably not straight up, and ejaculating 7 feet up is just ridiculous. Not to mention how easy it is to clean a painted wall.[/QUOTE]
My legs and penis length made it more like 4 feet, also the average man ejaculates at 100mph. As for the smell my cum was able to dry into the wall, as I spent about an hour and a half getting the shit out with the steam vac.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Thanks OP, that made my night.
I thought I was bad enough for getting semen to stain part of my laptop, but your story really just takes the biscuit.
You have my sympathies.
What the fuck man? That was pretty entertaining to read, I must admit.
Hot wet rag and some elbow grease.
Try spraying some scotch guard on your wall.
What a fucking grand story, I laughed my ass off.
[QUOTE=Wonky;20807528]also the average man ejaculates at 100mph. [/QUOTE]
Maybe internally, but not on exit.
What kind of angle does your penis have when you let go of it? 90 degrees?
[IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/4r81m9.jpg[/IMG]
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH6n-1anfxo[/media]
Thought it pertained to the subject...
I made a photoshop about this.
[Img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/Patrick_learned_the_hard_way.png [/img]
Replacing your drywall may be the only option.
[QUOTE=Tinter;20810658]I made a photoshop about this.
[Img]http://filesmelt.com/dl/Patrick_learned_the_hard_way.png [/img][/QUOTE]
If you go to the photoshop thread wonky replied.
[QUOTE=Wonky;20790614]The walls, the floor, my face, everywhere.[/QUOTE]
That made me laugh more than anything on the internet before, believe me thank you.
Bahahha.
I would pay to see someone cum 7 feet upwards into a ceiling fan on high. What the hell.
I just laughed so hard I nearly choked.
thanks for that
this is the funniest thing i have seen in an awfully long time! i think my neighbours heard me laughing.
not that i believe you, mind, i think you may be exaggerating just a tad, but still freakin hilarious.
the funny thing is, how old are you, sounds like you own the place or at least rent long term, painting being no issue. you should be old enough to know better than delaying visiting the toilet when you have to shit after eating taco bell which you know does not agree with you. not to mention not checking to make sure you had tissues or i dunno a sock, a rag, hell a blanket, a sheet, anything close to...um... to hand(s).
oh bless, this is what the intarwebs are made for.
[editline]06:28AM[/editline]
[QUOTE=Hesychasmos;20806357]So you had an empty tissue box and even [I]now[/I] you wish your first thought would have been to jizz in your hands? What the hell.[/QUOTE]
so true, i thought that was next, some mishap with tissue box, hurting self and somehow falling and damaging the wall. i could [I][B]not[/B][/I] have imagined the actual ending
Repaint your walls.
OP should have just dumped babies in the tissue box. You needed to throw it away anyways.
HA. Fail. Imagine if your parents/friends had decided to walk in
This is the most random, weird, and crazy post I've ever seen here on FP. Now to go masturbate under a fan :3
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