The Masturbation Thread - General

So speaking of masturbation my mom found this in the mail today, addressed to me: [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/admEs.jpg[/img_thumb] [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/9BOiW.jpg[/img_thumb] I'm 16 lol I'm sending them a letter asking why they sent a 16 year old a porn offer. [sp]I also want to know what the mystery gift is[/sp]

stop signing up for porn /w your real name lmfao

I masturbate.

I bet your mother is so surprised that you masturbate. I bet she had no idea.

I haven't fapped for two days and I don't want to. OH GOD I'M DYING

[QUOTE=RIPBILLYMAYS;36333271]So speaking of masturbation my mom found this in the mail today, addressed to me: [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/admEs.jpg[/img_thumb] [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/9BOiW.jpg[/img_thumb] I'm 16 lol I'm sending them a letter asking why they sent a 16 year old a porn offer. [sp]I also want to know what the mystery gift is[/sp][/QUOTE] You're going to get a handwritten response from Hugh himself saying; "What? You're sixteen and you DON'T want free porn?"

[QUOTE=Archimedes;36334659]You're going to get a handwritten response from Hugh himself saying; "What? You're sixteen and you DON'T want free porn?"[/QUOTE] Its a promo: 12 issues $12 Did you read the letter?

From what I've seen of Playboy magazines, the only true pornographic content within, is the cover. Everything else is highly informative articles.

I like to sit on my hand 'til its numb so it feels like someone else is touching my danger zone

[QUOTE=CaptnObvious;36335415]I like to sit on my hand 'til its numb so it feels like someone else is touching my danger zone[/QUOTE] Did you seriously just say danger zone? What are you, 6?

[QUOTE=atttapi0;36335864]Did you seriously just say danger zone? What are you, 6?[/QUOTE] I rather like that term.

[QUOTE=KirinoKousaka;36331505]I was listening to Dead By April and fapping to some hentai, and while I was fapping I looked at my media player on my other monitor (well, it's my TV. I use it to put my media player on) and I came while doing that so did I just fap to Dead By April?[/QUOTE] Yes, and I assume you watch porn and fap to the background music in the pornos too.

[QUOTE=CHARL;36337606]Yes, and I assume you watch porn [B]and fap to the background music in the pornos too.[/B][/QUOTE] Who doesen't?

[QUOTE=Scarabix;36330647]And you find a sponge/glove that big, where?[/QUOTE] Could stack sponges I guess, and get the biggest size of glove you could find and hope for the best. Not that I'd ever do it.

[QUOTE=ShitStopper;36318954]How many of you also have one of [I]these[/I] bad boys? [IMG]http://popmycherryreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/dragon-tonque-500x410.png[/IMG][/QUOTE]how i am supposed to fuck this?

[QUOTE=Wolfz;36341329]how i am supposed to fuck this?[/QUOTE] stick it in your pooper

Yeah This thread is getting too weird for my tastes

What are you talking about? If anything it's not weird enough.

I can't fap to porn that has music in it, or porn which has obviously been dubbed over afterwards

I just mute everything, mainly because I don't want anyone to hear it. Plus I always need to keep an ear out on my door. It's practically facing my computer screen. Sucks big time.

[QUOTE=CaptnObvious;36335415]I like to sit on my hand 'til its numb so it feels like someone else is touching my danger zone[/QUOTE] I like to sit on my balls 'til they're numb and then get someone else to touch my danger zone

[QUOTE=KirinoKousaka;36343569]I like to sit on my balls 'til they're numb and then get someone else to touch my danger zone[/QUOTE] I like to sit on my dick 'til it's numb so it feels like I'm giving someone else a handjob

[QUOTE=nimaratu;36186696]You men and your Fapping. Personally, I use a Baseball bat/Cricket Bat/Anything long without a sharp end. Mine have rubber hand grips, so it's fair to say it's -almost- as good as a Dick.[/QUOTE] I don't know why but that post just made me cringe. [QUOTE=atttapi0;36335864]Did you seriously just say danger zone? What are you, 6?[/QUOTE] Yeah I mean really you call it the no no square not the fucking danger zone. [QUOTE=Sheepy <3;36343422]I just mute everything, mainly because I don't want anyone to hear it. Plus I always need to keep an ear out on my door. It's practically facing my computer screen. Sucks big time.[/QUOTE] Lock your door and wear headphones problem solved.

[QUOTE=geogzm;36342091]I can't fap to porn that has music in it, or porn which has obviously been dubbed over afterwards[/QUOTE] 'I'm so fresh you can suck my nuts' perfect

Masturbating with soap for a long time starts to burn penis skin, learned that a while ago thus is till fap with the harshest of soaps.

[QUOTE=fish puncher;36343767]I like to sit on my dick 'til it's numb so it feels like I'm giving someone else a handjob[/QUOTE] I like to sit on someone elses hands 'til they're numb so it feels like they're giving themselves a handjob when they touch my weewee

[QUOTE=DaedraWorship;36347903]Masturbating with soap for a long time starts to burn penis skin, learned that a while ago thus is till fap with the harshest of soaps.[/QUOTE] Good god don't use soap that will get your dick and balls to peal off skin. Just use saliva.

Low grade detergent?

Chlorine Bleach?

[QUOTE=.FLAP.JACK.DAN.;36348279]Good god don't use soap that will get your dick and balls to peal off skin. Just use saliva.[/QUOTE] I do that when my penis is too fucked up for soap.