[QUOTE=KirinoKousaka;36295620]Sometimes I go for a fap, open up the porn and then go "nah, fuck it" and don't fap.[/QUOTE]
I usually skim through the front page of a couple different sites, and if there's nothing interesting I'd just go to sleep.
Sometimes you hop in bed and it's real torture to make the decision to fap or not when you're as hard as you are tired.
I love my family, but nobody respects privacy in this fucking house.
If I lock the door to the bathroom while I'm showering and trying to get down to business, they just use the key and just walk in and do whatever in there.
Fuck, it's been almost a week since I last jerked it so I'm getting pretty moody.
Whenever I fap in bed it's like "can't sleep, time to fap" and when Im done it's like "Im too tired to throw this tissue away"
First world problem.
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;36351618]Whenever I fap in bed it's like "can't sleep, time to fap" and when Im done it's like "Im too tired to throw this tissue away"
First world problem.[/QUOTE]
Or being too awake to sleep, but too tired to fap.
I'm starting to get the feeling every time you guys pop a boner you jack off.
Wat.
Not if I'm occupied.
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;36351618]Whenever I fap in bed it's like "can't sleep, time to fap" and when Im done it's like "Im too tired to throw this tissue away"
First world problem.[/QUOTE]
That's why I have a garbage bag in my room.
two hands and lube
shit feels good
Thread music
[video=youtube;58yiJvGGye4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58yiJvGGye4[/video]
How do I give myself a blowjob.
How.
[QUOTE=Garik;36357511]How do I give myself a blowjob.
How.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Scarabix;36224495]My friends calls it the rollback technique. You sit naked on the floor, a wall a half meter away from your back, you roll over your back, put your feet on the wall, and try to slowly "walk down" until your feet are as close to your shoulders as possible.
Then you can suck your own dick, come back to this thread and thank me. Although you probably won't be able to get more than an inch in, really. But hey, at least you got the tip, that's the best part of the dick![/QUOTE]
Ah, yes, I just remembered that I can suck my dick while standing up.
But sadly, that style will get me raped in the ass someday.
I think it'd be funny if you ejaculated while flaccid.
Is that even possible?
I think it is, when I fap and forget about it and then start again, I usually come very close when it's just waking up again.
I never finish off that way because I'm an edging fuck.
[QUOTE=Cpl.Shepherd;36351597]I love my family, but nobody respects privacy in this fucking house.
If I lock the door to the bathroom while I'm showering and trying to get down to business, they just use the key and just walk in and do whatever in there.
Fuck, it's been almost a week since I last jerked it so I'm getting pretty moody.[/QUOTE]
In all seriousness, have you tried talking to them? Say that you're not comfortable with them invading your privacy like that, and ask if they can at least knock and wait for your answer before coming in.
They'll never change their ways if you never say anything!
I fap when bored at night, because facepunch is boring at night, and porn is entertaining.
so yeah.
Welp. That's terrifying.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v21iDJeWfVE[/media]
Stapling tape worms on your penis is the best way to masturbate.
[editline]17th June 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;36363243]Lads, I discovered today that my bro has a Fleshlight, and it's the real deal, not one of those custom made ones. So I did what any other male gentleman would do. I cleaned the shit out of it while he was gone and used it.
I must say, it's pretty accurate to the real thing...err...minus the rest of the women of course.[/QUOTE]
I wish I could inconspicuously buy a Fleshlight. I don't know if my parents would like finding one in the mail one day.
[QUOTE=UntouchedShadow;36363243]Lads, I discovered today that my bro has a Fleshlight, and it's the real deal, not one of those custom made ones. [B]So I did what any other male gentleman would do. I cleaned the shit out of it while he was gone and used it.[/B]
I must say, it's pretty accurate to the real thing...err...minus the rest of the women of course.[/QUOTE]
apparently i'm not a real gentlemen :v:
[QUOTE=Zoran;36364151]I wish I could inconspicuously buy a Fleshlight. I don't know if my parents would like finding one in the mail one day.[/QUOTE]
Have it addressed to your dad
Any of you feel guilty after doing it
Maybe if I do it to something fucked up, but that's an extreme rarity.
[QUOTE=CHARL;36365198]Maybe if I do it to something fucked up, but that's an extreme rarity.[/QUOTE]
It's not a rarity for me! Makes me feel more sad than guilty though.
Like after doing it I look at all the puppy pictures I feel very guilty
I always feel like doing it again.
[QUOTE=Zoran;36364151]Stapling tape worms on your penis is the best way to masturbate.[/QUOTE]
I second this
I melt Chupa Chup Lollipops into syrup and then pour it onto my dick. I then look at the girls in the Hot Girls thread so I maintain a boner. I will do this in the sun until the melted Chupa Chups dry. I tear it off my penis and then suck it. Suck it good.
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