fapping in a camper van is awkward because my parents are like 4 meters away from me, plus I have no porn so I have to fap to pictures of my sexy ginger friends, but they're all sfw :(
Fuck, I just had the worst fap of my entire life.
I was fapping in the camper van, parked next to our friends' house. Done fapping, I go to the toilets. My mom wakes up and tells me the toilets are full, and I need to go inside the house, into the bathroom.
So I go there, hoping I can hold onto my cum long enough. I'm at the bathroom, I open, and...
Their gay ass son got there before I did :|
I sit outside the bathroom, and I can't hold on my cum. My pajama pants are fucking sticky. But the worst part is, he spends A FUCKING HOUR in there, taking his shower, singing terrible songs in his horrible voice.
GOD DAAAAAMN.
Last dream before I woke up was going to a strip club and fucking this hot asian all night in a VIP room. Gah, shame I had to wake up in the middle of a BJ.
It hurts when I fap for some reason.
Also, I don't know if it's normal or a super power. But I think I have like, TOO much semen. Makes me feel like doing a before and after picture of my shirt, because afterwards it can look like I took a shower while wearing it. Anyone else have this problem?
Doctors do, talk try talking to one about it
What did EA_GAM3R420 post?
[QUOTE=ZenX2;36947058]Doctors do, talk try talking to one about it[/QUOTE]
Facepunchers are the only doctors you'll ever need. Quickly, someone diagnose Rebi!
[QUOTE=Rebi;36942325]It hurts when I fap for some reason.
Also, I don't know if it's normal or a super power. But I think I have like, TOO much semen. Makes me feel like doing a before and after picture of my shirt, because afterwards it can look like I took a shower while wearing it. Anyone else have this problem?[/QUOTE]
I have too much semen, but thats because i have big balls.
I take steroids so my balls fit in my pants
fap
[QUOTE=Rebi;36942325]It hurts when I fap for some reason.
Also, I don't know if it's normal or a super power. But I think I have like, TOO much semen. Makes me feel like doing a before and after picture of my shirt, because afterwards it can look like I took a shower while wearing it. Anyone else have this problem?[/QUOTE]
Does it hurt because you are using a knife?
Jesus fuck, I'm just trying to get one more jerk off before I go camping for a week and my sister wakes up out of nowhere at this ungodly hour and decides to knock on my door.
Ultimate boner killer, I don't even think I can get hard at this point anymore.
Yesterday's session took me over 30 minutes.
[QUOTE=Cooty;36975373]Does it hurt because you are using a knife?[/QUOTE]
60 grit sandpaper actually, it has been a bit rough on me, I'm thinking about switching to 160 grit, it's a bit finer, softer on the skin.
Also, Mr.Wut, I can tell you, my sessions can last well over an hour, I am an edging fuck.
Paheal's servers are fucked, what a boner killer, now I can't fap furiously to TF2 poses
:suicide:
[QUOTE=Rebi;36987474]60 grit sandpaper actually, it has been a bit rough on me, I'm thinking about switching to 160 grit, it's a bit finer, softer on the skin.
Also, Mr.Wut, I can tell you, my sessions can last well over an hour, I am an edging fuck.[/QUOTE]
eRP sessions take longer then 1-2 hours sometimes, hahaha.....
You guys sure love your masturbation.
[QUOTE=Cpl.Shepherd;36986893]Jesus fuck, I'm just trying to get one more jerk off before I go camping for a week and my sister wakes up out of nowhere at this ungodly hour and decides to knock on my door.
Ultimate boner killer, I don't even think I can get hard at this point anymore.[/QUOTE]
Well then, you'll have to fap while camping.
... we all know how this ends.
Lately, even with my best porn it takes me like an hour to finish. I can hardly fap more than once in a day too. It used to be the highlight of my day and now it's just getting boring.
I can get off in about 3-4 minutes when I'm watching porn, about 10 in bed without. In bed, it feels more like a chore, I feel like I have to go way harder to get off.
Wish me fucking luck fellas. Going off to some church camp for a week.
[QUOTE=No_Excuses;36999130]Lately, even with my best porn it takes me like an hour to finish. I can hardly fap more than once in a day too. It used to be the highlight of my day and now it's just getting boring.[/QUOTE]
The only solution is suicide.
[sp]I don't want to be you next time you get laid[/sp]
[QUOTE=Cpl.Shepherd;36999569]Wish me fucking luck fellas. Going off to some church camp for a week.[/QUOTE]
bone some horny church bitches
I was fapping when my older sister once called on the phone, and she wondered why I was panting so much. If I'd just gotten in from jogging.
Yes... jogging...
[QUOTE=Cpl.Shepherd;36999569]Wish me fucking luck fellas. Going off to some church camp for a week.[/QUOTE]
I thought we were heading to your mothers house..
So far this all looks familiar.
I need a new pillow, I try to put my head under it and then so much cum
[QUOTE=Smugleaf;37002271]I need a new pillow, I try to put my head under it and then so much cum[/QUOTE]
wat
[QUOTE=Smugleaf;37002271]I need a new pillow, I try to put my head under it and then so much cum[/QUOTE]
[t]http://puu.sh/LWy6[/t]
?
[QUOTE=Lord_Schrotty;37002437][t]http://puu.sh/LWy6[/t]
?[/QUOTE]
Thats my pillow
Leave her alone, and don't fap on her! :c
[QUOTE=No_Excuses;36999130]Lately, even with my best porn it takes me like an hour to finish. I can hardly fap more than once in a day too. It used to be the highlight of my day and now it's just getting boring.[/QUOTE]
I'm more wondering how the hell your hand even lasts an hour.
Also, pray any female relatives or crushes of you guys NEVER find this thread. I swear, this is creepy beyond fuck.
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