Thinking of a Masterplan: Some fools stealing my food - General

Pee on your food. Then pee on them.

[QUOTE=ghosevil;43842110]For CHRISSAKES. They're going into someone else's food bin and STEALING from it. There's no sorry note, no second thought, no remorse.. The bastards who do this have it coming.[/QUOTE] That is still justifying doing something wrong to someone because "they started it". Rise above that or you're just like the person you're judging.

[QUOTE=GeeOhDee;43856288]That is still justifying doing something wrong to someone because "they started it". Rise above that or you're just like the person you're judging.[/QUOTE] So... do nothing? Doesn't work that way outside of kindergarten, sorry. There's a difference between doing something unprovoked and retaliating. People who can't tell the difference and think right and wrong are static no matter the circumstances are as bad as victim blamers.

[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;43856763]So... do nothing? Doesn't work that way outside of kindergarten, sorry. There's a difference between doing something unprovoked and retaliating. People who can't tell the difference and think right and wrong are static no matter the circumstances are as bad as victim blamers.[/QUOTE] except retaliation is pretty underhanded in most situations lol

Telling people to "rise above" those who do shit to them is literally telling someone: "I stole your wallet. Become a better person and hold yourself to an unrealistically high standard or else YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS ME!!!" Doesn't work that way. If it did, we might as well throw the entire concept of justifiable homicide and mitigating factors out the door. This is the same situation but with less murder and theft and more shit sandwiches.

Hey Im usually a down to earth person and I like to avoid getting worked up over small things but in this case I just want it to be over. I already left a note on the fridge a couple of days ago asking people to stop stealing. Now I just want to have some fun

[QUOTE=GeeOhDee;43856288]That is still justifying doing something wrong to someone because "they started it". Rise above that or you're just like the person you're judging.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=U.S.S.R;43856763]So... do nothing? Doesn't work that way outside of kindergarten, sorry. There's a difference between doing something unprovoked and retaliating. People who can't tell the difference and think right and wrong are static no matter the circumstances are as bad as victim blamers.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=killerteacup;43856794]except retaliation is pretty underhanded in most situations lol[/QUOTE] Why are people responding to this seriously? OP is obviously not going to poison anyone, the most I can see them doing is putting something spicy in there and then jumping out and going "HA! NOW STOP EATING MY SHIT!". There's no harm in that at all, you all need to calm down and realise this is nothing more than a bit of banter. [QUOTE=D3TBS;43856829]Hey Im usually a down to earth person and I like to avoid getting worked up over small things but in this case I just want it to be over. I already left a note on the fridge a couple of days ago asking people to stop stealing. Now [B]I just want to have some fun[/B][/QUOTE] Exactly. I suggest that you put a sticky note inside the sandwich that reads something along the lines of "fuck you" or if you find out who it is then write "I'm watching you ___". I'm sure that will get them to stop and will also be a good laugh.

Hide some of those fuzzy pipe cleaners with the metal parts stripped out in some food so it'll feel they're eating a caterpillar or something.

[QUOTE=Sableye;43854930]passive-aggressively place a trail and nesting doll of stickynotes on the fridge, one on the doors, seran warp your food togather put a note ontop of that, then a note on the individual items and then a note inside each item. by the time they finally get through all that they will think that its a trap that or make some contact explosives [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogen_triiodide[/url] is a good one because its more stable when its chilled so it lasts longer, place it on the lid of your stuff and after getting hit with a cloud of purple stuff a few times they will stop (that or they'll call the bomb squad) unfortunately i know a guy who was trying to make the stuff and it is kinda hard to make so...get a methlab to make you some[/QUOTE] You do realize that you'd have to fucking make Nitrogen Triiodide in the fridge right where the food will be or something, because it can be set off just by air current. It's literally impossible to transport the shit. It's also highly explosive.

[QUOTE=draugur;43859472]You do realize that you'd have to fucking make Nitrogen Triiodide in the fridge right where the food will be or something, because it can be set off just by air current. It's literally impossible to transport the shit. It's also highly explosive.[/QUOTE] Also covers your whole fridge in iodine gas so you wont want to eat anything else in there.

-snip fuck shit i missed the dorm part-

[QUOTE=iamgoofball;43860126]Call the police since they're obviously breaking into your house and stealing?[/QUOTE] Worst reading since forever.

[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;43856763]So... do nothing? Doesn't work that way outside of kindergarten, sorry. There's a difference between doing something unprovoked and retaliating. People who can't tell the difference and think right and wrong are static no matter the circumstances are as bad as victim blamers.[/QUOTE] So you think the only things you can do is nothing or harm the person who stole from you?

[QUOTE=No_0ne;43841654]buy some ghost pepper powder put some in the food and wait[/QUOTE] Yes, just put a note saying "I like my food spicy - D3TBS" and then when the run around with flames coming out of their mouths you can say "I warned you"

[QUOTE=draugur;43859472]You do realize that you'd have to fucking make Nitrogen Triiodide in the fridge right where the food will be or something, because it can be set off just by air current. It's literally impossible to transport the shit. It's also highly explosive.[/QUOTE] "highly explosive" is a relative term, its unstable, but it only explodes into a puff of purple smoke, not like say nitrogen azide which is also a contact explosive and is whats in your airbags

[QUOTE=Sableye;43863942]"highly explosive" is a relative term, its unstable, but it only explodes into a puff of purple smoke, not like say [B]nitrogen azide[/B] which is also a contact explosive and is whats in your airbags[/QUOTE] You mean sodium azide right? Also that has the same problem of being toxic. Also it isn't particularly explosive, just used because of how cleanly it decomposes into nitrogen gas. Nitrogen azide is impossible as it would just be N4, which shouldn't work.

Put some kimchi that's gone slightly bad in the fridge, that shit smells so damn bad. Wait that wouldn't work, [I]you [/I]wouldn't want to open it either, you'd have a hazmat situation on your hands

Do the ghost chilli thing, but cut off all sources of water + other liquids as well. That would be pure evil.

Since this doesn't happen often you might wanna go with lacing something long lasting but delicious - Like chocolate or dry cake. The idea Swizzchees got is brilliant as well. Have you noticed any pattern in regard to the theft? For example, has it been specific types of food or has it only happened in the weekends, etc.? It's way cheaper to pull a prank on them if you can make sure you don't have to repeat the process.

You should put in some bait food and put lots of phenolpthalein on it. They'll shit themselves within 30 seconds if you put in enough.

Just bought a bottle of laxative. This stuff is syrupy

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43871862]Just bought a bottle of laxative. This stuff is syrupy[/QUOTE] What are the active ingredient(s) and concentrations? Should be easier to work out how much to stick in.

In 100ml theres 66,7g of Lactulose, 10g Galactose and 6,7g Lactose. The woman in the drugstore told me I had to take 15ml twice a day. Guess Ill go a bit higher for the effects to come faster

Not sure if 30ml will be enough for the desired effects. Also, as long as you dont put in like 100ml they should be fine (and even then I'm not sure whether it would actually cause any real harm but dont do that in case). It isn't my fault if anything bad happens either.

[QUOTE=No_0ne;43841654]buy some ghost pepper powder put some in the food and wait[/QUOTE] What childshit is this Sprinkle this shit [url]http://www.hotsauce.com/16-Million-PURE-Capsaicin-Crystals-1-0ml-p/hsc-16-million-crystals1.0.htm[/url] [editline]11th February 2014[/editline] Or you could just empty three bottles of visine into their food if you just want to get rid of them.

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43871862]Just bought a bottle of laxative. This stuff is syrupy[/QUOTE] Now plant it in and wait then eavesdrop until you hear "oh my god I just shat my pants" then jump out and say surprise!

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Rub raw chicken over all the food and whoever gets ill took it

This will be pretty interesting...

I've got some. a) The commonly suggested laxatives/ghost pepper/viagra. Bonus points if you combine all three. Use LOTS of laxatives. b) DEAD BUGS! This is the best strategy if you REALLY want some hardcore revenge. You'll want major shock value so use big, crunchy bugs like spiders, caterpillars, etc. Stuff the food of your choice with bugs. Use as many bugs as possible, you'll want at least 15. Bonus points if you use a lot of spiders. c) Acquire chloroform and soak a rag with it. Find a good hiding place in the kitchen and wait until they come to steal your food. Use the chloroform to knock them out and lock them up somewhere where they'll never be found. Tie them up to a bed, get some surgical supplies and slowly torture them to death. Bonus points if you deliver the classic "Does this smell like chloroform?" line while knocking them out. If you use dead bugs, please record their reactions.