Thinking of a Masterplan: Some fools stealing my food - General

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43841436]...I could lock the door and place a camera in there...[/QUOTE] false imprisonment [editline]13th February 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=D3TBS;43873067]In 100ml theres 66,7g of Lactulose, 10g Galactose and 6,7g Lactose. The woman in the drugstore told me I had to take 15ml twice a day. Guess Ill go a bit higher for the effects to come faster[/QUOTE] i hope they are not underage, or you can get into trouble

[QUOTE=cucumber;43898986]false imprisonment [editline]13th February 2014[/editline] i hope they are not underage, or you can get into trouble[/QUOTE] What if there's a sign that says "Don't eat these !" ?

[URL="http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC"]Offer some of these to the thieves next time you catch them.[/URL]

[QUOTE=Sableye;43863942]"highly explosive" is a relative term, its unstable, but it only explodes into a puff of purple smoke, not like say nitrogen azide which is also a contact explosive and is whats in your airbags[/QUOTE] That "purple smoke" is iodine gas, which is dangerous. Breathing it in can cause chemical burns to your lungs, mouth, throat, nose, whatever.

You should buy really appealing food, then fart on the food. I recommend u buy something that can be covered up, like a pie or cake, something that has some sort of covering on it. When they eat it tell em wat u did.

[QUOTE=noh_mercy;43902600]You should buy really appealing food, then fart on the food. I recommend u buy something that can be covered up, like a pie or cake, something that has some sort of covering on it. When they eat it tell em wat u did.[/QUOTE] Best idea right here.

I've been in a couple of dorms in Lisbon and I got to ask if isn't there any kind of security or cameras or even someone responsible for the dorms you could contact. I mean it's not like it isn't fun to scare them shitless but here they won't even let me in if I don't sign a paper with ID and a confirmation that I'm aquainted with a person I'm visiting there.

Last time I had the same problem the drug store clerk just laughed and she gave us free laxatives and wished good luck.. I don't know where those laxatives have traveled by now, but I sure somebody had a good time. Also, maybe laxatives + some nutmeg, that should be an intresting trip :v:

If you find out who is taking your food replace theirs with IOUs (Cook their food and hand it to some homeless people, all of it)

[QUOTE=BLOODGA$M;43843877]Put laxatives and viagra so that they get poopboners[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=SwizzChees;43845592]If you know a butcher nearby you can do this: Ask him if he has a spare pig eye or any disposable meat that he can give to you. (the grosser the better). Cover them in chocolate and make em look like sweets. Put in fridge, done. Also i've seen this done before, they bite everytime.[/QUOTE] FP always has the best answers.

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43841436]I need help on planning some evil shit. So basically I live in a dorm where theres 6 rooms and a shared kitchen. In this kitched we share fridges and theres no locks. And now the food stealing part: Ive seen my food "magically disappear" from my fridge about 3 or 4 times now for the course of the last few months. Im tired of this shit because sometimes at the end of the day its all I have to eat and when its gone Im left with not much. Since we all know each other in our "house" I didnt suspect it would be anyone from inside ,and I was right, because tonight I met a trio of guys from eastern europe or some shit just chilling in the kitchen alone. I dont know where they were from or who they were with, but after they left I noticed that they probably had rearranged my fridge compartment. So now Im gonna ask around see who these guys are. And in the meantime, its payback time. So what can I do to fuck up with these dumb bitches? Of course theres always the confront them and talk it out or take it out, but Im sure theres better ways. I was talking to a friend of mine and he suggested that I put a trap, like some kind of laxative food. Then what would be better was if I could lock the door and place a camera in there. Thats recipe for a viral video. But Im sure we can think of better plans. So how is it going down?[/QUOTE] I feel your pain bro. Next time I'm in a shops with a pharmaceutical section I'm buying laxatives and spiking the cunts protein shakes. *Only one guy is stealing from me and I've already punched him in the face*

considering all these comments about revenge I'm surprised that no one thinks they are going to try getting back at you.

Make a sandwich and put it on a plate, then get a couple of those pull string firecrackers (aka these things [url]http://www.wackystacker.com/imagesLAUGHS/048.jpg[/url]) and tape the strings to the bottom of the plate and onto the surface of the fridge and make sure its covered up by the plate. That or make some chocolate milk and grate a couple nuts of whole nutmeg until you have about 3 tablespoons worth of fresh nutmeg, then you just add it into the chocolate milk and stir, the person who drinks it will most likely start feeling groggy and feel nauseous and also in large amounts it can cause vomiting, hallucinations, and diarrhea as well. Its recommended that you add sugar and cinnamon to it to hide the bitter taste Also there's a erowid page on some of the effect of nutmeg here ([url]http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/faqs/natural_highs_faq.shtml#nutmeg[/url])

Pour an entire bottle of Yacon syrup. It's a natural laxative that's immensely powerful with just two teaspoons. You can find it at fitness stores. I took it once as a dietary supplement and I've vowed never to take it again.

Anthrax, the only answer.

Hidden video camera, Ghost pepper. It's been suggested a lot but it sounds by far the most satisfying thing to do. Or... you can dress up inedible stuff to look like food. Urinal cake burger. Dog-shit con carne. sponge-bread. Get a load of conkers, cover them with stuff, and carefully put them in a box of ferrero rocher. Swap cream for toothpaste. List goes on.

[QUOTE=ghosevil;43841561]You could substitute the laxatives with a [I]moderate[/I] amount of LSD! I've yet to see such a viral video.. edit: Hell, you could put both in at equal amounts.. Now THAT would be instant gold.[/QUOTE] I thought the shitboot was bad enough... I can't even imagine how a shittrip would end

[QUOTE=Kyle902;43880299]What childshit is this Sprinkle this shit [url]http://www.hotsauce.com/16-Million-PURE-Capsaicin-Crystals-1-0ml-p/hsc-16-million-crystals1.0.htm[/url][/QUOTE] This. There is no flavour here. This is just literally the chemical responsible for spicy.

Dude. Spaghetti, but put a shitton of mealworms in it.

I can't wait to hear what happens

Well heres what it happened. I laced some food with laxatives and left it in the fridge. Meanwhile I talked to a roommate, asked him who the people that night were, and he said they were his friends but that they didnt take it, which is obviously a lie. As to the laced food, its still in the fridge, nobody touched it yet, so I guess Im safe. Sorry there was no shit filled story or anything, I was hoping for something better too

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43994117]Well heres what it happened. I laced some food with laxatives and left it in the fridge. Meanwhile I talked to a roommate, asked him who the people that night were, and he said they were his friends but that they didnt take it, which is obviously a lie. As to the laced food, its still in the fridge, nobody touched it yet, so I guess Im safe. Sorry there was no shit filled story or anything, I was hoping for something better too[/QUOTE] I'm curious, what did you put the syrup in? Don't imagine just pouring it over regular food would work too well because of taste/syrup all over pasta or something.

[QUOTE=Terminutter;43845321]Alcohol based antibacterial hand gel in a sandwich or whatnot. That shit tastes absolutely foul. They won't rob again after it.[/QUOTE] How do you know this tastes foul? No, seriously?

Buy the nastiest dog food you can get and bake it into a pie/pastry, slice it up and leave it for about a week. ask everyone if they enjoyed it, then reveal to them they ate dog food and kindly ask them to stop stealing your shit.

[QUOTE=reverno;43994315]I'm curious, what did you put the syrup in? Don't imagine just pouring it over regular food would work too well because of taste/syrup all over pasta or something.[/QUOTE] i just soaked some waffles in it. Theres probably some better way though

Just take out all the food and replace it with a live animal. A shark would be best, but a raccoon may be used as a substitute.

[QUOTE=Padgoi;43998601]How do you know this tastes foul? No, seriously?[/QUOTE] Ate a sandwich after using antibac. Some of it was still on my skin, got on the outside of the sandwich, and I didn't realise until I was gagging. :v: Sorry it's not the exciting story you were probably expecting!

[QUOTE=D3TBS;43994117]Sorry there was no shit filled story or anything, I was hoping for something better too[/QUOTE] oh for fuck's sake, just eat the laxative waffles and film it already

Take out/eat all the good food in the fridge, replace with, say, a few cheeseburgers and lace them with a combination of broken glass and laxitives.

Methylene Blue is a pH indicator that can turn your urine blue in the right concentrations, just be wary some people are allergic.