[QUOTE=bitches;51393506]I too have a problem with this wording.
"Love yourself" is meaningless and unhelpful, unless you're Narcissus.
What I think people really mean when they say this, is to not [I]hate[/I] yourself for being alone.
And I think you're right; there isn't any point in living without others to live for, if you're looking for a deeper meaning to life. Those others don't need to be romantically involved with you for you to find a purpose, though.
I don't think I'd kill myself if I were the last person alive on Earth, despite this. There wouldn't be any purpose in dying either, but there would be endless time for creation and my thoughts.[/QUOTE]
Love is a strong word, and there's nothing wrong about [I]learning[/I] to love yourself for who you are. It's not in the egotistical sense of thinking that you're fantastic, great, and flawless. It's more about acceptance I think.
I do think using the example of not hating oneself is good too though.
[QUOTE=~Kiwi~v2;51393499]Because your life is about you and only you.[/QUOTE]
But while I am actually putting efforts in to reach my goals and aspirations I feel like I shouldn't have to mentally suffer completely alone. I need a relationship. It would help so much.
Love yourself does not mean to be narcissistic. It means to be able to accept yourself and your faults, and work on the ones you can and try to accept the ones you can't. It is not about thinking you are the best; it is about realising that to be the best you can be, you have to be able to accept yourself.
[QUOTE=BlackMageMari;51393529]Love yourself does not mean to be narcissistic. It means to be able to accept yourself and your faults, and work on the ones you can and try to accept the ones you can't. It is not about thinking you are the best; it is about realising that to be the best you can be, you have to be able to accept yourself.[/QUOTE]
But first people tell me I'm single because I need to fix my appearance... Okay, I did it.. but I'm still single. People tell me to go be social... Okay, I did it... but I'm still single... People tell me to find hobbies... Okay, I have plenty... But I am still single. What is going on? This is what I don't understand. I am making myself physically "up to par with what's accepted in society" yet I still don't feel like I've done enough because I am still single.
[editline]19th November 2016[/editline]
I can't accept myself because I have been rejected so much in my life and have yet to find people I can genuinley feel comfortable around.
[QUOTE=Berman Slick;51393577]Love comes from within, nobody can show you how. Understand who you are, your abilities, your values. Love just being anything at all in the first place, it's pretty amazing if you think about it. You're alone by default, you have to just love existing, strange as it is to say[/QUOTE]
But I have been isolated for so long I want to know what it is like to not be isolated.
I feel like the best thing to do at this point is to call a suicide hotline, and try to find some way to talk to professionals who can help you. I think they can do a lot more for you than we can.
[QUOTE=Berman Slick;51393648]Definitely. There are resources out there, people who can further help you[/QUOTE]
I want to seek out therapy but I have no health insurance and like I said I am trapped at my dad's side of the family's disposal and I don't understand how health insurance works and I've tried looking up how to do it but I don't get it. I've called the trevor project out of desperation and I had to hang up because I felt like it wasn't helping.
if you google the word "suicide" it displays a phone number for a hotline relevant to your location
[QUOTE=Ax3l;51393524]Love is a strong word, and there's nothing wrong about [I]learning[/I] to love yourself for who you are. It's not in the egotistical sense of thinking that you're fantastic, great, and flawless. It's more about acceptance I think.
I do think using the example of not hating oneself is good too though.[/QUOTE]
I don't know how to love myself or where to begin.
I don't get it and I don't understand it.
Considering driving to Massachusetts to make sure you're still alive tomorrow.
[editline]18th November 2016[/editline]
Please listen to this on loop
[video=youtube;U9Q3tJOYsrw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9Q3tJOYsrw[/video]
[QUOTE=TheBrokenHobo;51392476]Yeah I'm too worn out from dealing with other stuff to actively pursue a relationship. Stuff like okcupid is too stressful to me.
Right now I'm fine doing my thing and waiting for maybe someone to show up and say hey what's ups let's be pals and if that doesn't happen it's nobody's fault but my own and I will continue to do my thing.[/QUOTE]
I'm too busy with college to pursue relationships.
And I have little interest in finding someone at the moment.
I'm 24 and have never not been single. Still have plenty of hope.
Bottom line for you here is that you will be perfectly fine. There is someone for everyone and being stuck in your locale now has no bearing on where you'll be later.
You will find someone.
You will be happy again.
You will wake up one day and wonder why you ever doubted it.
You will wake up one day and be thankful you didn't hurt yourself.
Source: I've tried to end my life three times. After much change and recovery, I look back wondering how I ever thought that could be a solution.
[QUOTE=Thomo_UK;51392674]Sick dreads bro.[/QUOTE]
NOPE
[editline]19th November 2016[/editline]
I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship. I feel lonely from time to time, but not to the point of desperation. I'm fairly happy with my life at the moment.
[editline]19th November 2016[/editline]
Don't wanna sound like a dick, though. Be patient and optimistic, even when things don't look so great.
Like Justin Bieber said, "Life is worth living"
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, depression and social anxiety when I was 17, that was 6 years ago. I've had lots of professional help and my family have gotten a better understanding of me. If you feel that there's something genuinely messed up with you, see a doctor and they'll forward you to professionals who are willing to help out of the goodness of their hearts. They're people you can trust and they wont share anything you'd come clean with without your permission.
Having a safe place to let all your emotions go is healthy because bottling it up inside is only gonna hurt you. I let that happen throughout my entire childhood and teenage years, I was on the brink of giving up on life, but I fought for it. Don't let your shitty self-image tear you down. You're the master of your own life and if you're not willing to kick its ass and put it in its place, you won't ever feel better. It's tough - [B]really[/B] fucking tough - and you'll almost definitely feel some hurt doing it, but you will feel better. Trust me, I've had the same doubts as you, IJN.
Take care of yourself before you go looking for love. I'm still struggling with myself because it takes time, but where there's will there's a way. As cliche as that sounds, it's true.
Stay safe, bud. We're all rooting for you here! [img]https://facepunch.com/fp/ratings/heart.png[/img]
[QUOTE=IJNOMED;51393853]I don't know how to love myself or where to begin.
I don't get it and I don't understand it.[/QUOTE]
Because you're overwhelmed right now and having a hard time, which is okay. Please do speak to a professional.
I felt like you, unable to contemplate loving myself, during the spring break of my freshman year. I had opened up to my parents about my depression, anxiety, and ADHD and begged to see a mental healthcare professional. They told me I was lazy, unmotivated, and looking for the easy way out. It took everything I had to not shoot myself over that break.
I'm not going to lie and say everything is 100% better for me now, but seeing a therapist and getting my mental health under control has made life worth living. Its made the possibility of happiness seem possible on days where it previously would not have.
Its scary and making that first step is really tough, but please do give a hotline a shot at the least. If not, inquire more in your local area for services that can be offered to you. You may still be covered by your parent's insurance if you're in the US, and they can't stop you from using it to seek the treatment you want. Just make sure they don't take your insurance card, that's what mine did to me :/
[QUOTE=IJNOMED;51392691]Exactly. I'm just depressed because I can't even find someONE and this is what many people fail to understand. I don't expect the girl of my dreams, I expect a relationship that's somewhat helpful and makes me feel less lonely. A girl I can truly relate to. I may never find this.
[editline]18th November 2016[/editline]
I feel so alone and can't relate to anybody.
[editline]18th November 2016[/editline]
Did I also mention I have no friends?
Like I don't even have close friends anymore. Not one.
That one straight girl... I don't know how to feel about her. I feel close to her but I'm sad because I don't think she's as close to me as I was to her and it hurts.[/QUOTE]
I was also very close to a girl back in high school.
She was my best friend and we had a lot in common and she was bi..but to her it was a phase.
But one day she told me she's more interested in men than women and stop being bi. (Needless to say my heart broke that day.)
It wasn't till after high school that I realized that these [I]feelings[/I] that I had for her [I]was[/I] love. I never had romantic feelings for anyone before so it took me a while.
I moved on (easier said then done imo, in fact it felt like a mess; I went through a depression for two years,) and now I'm more focused on college and hobbies and improving my health.
Yeah like other people have said in order to be happy in a relationship you have to be happy with yourself first. Being lonely can suck sometimes, especially for us considering that its a bit harder for us to get into relationships, but you have to learn how to be happy single first in order for a relationship to actually be healthy and conductive to your life. And remember, being in a romantic relationship really isnt everything, treasure your friendships, hobbies, and other stuff you enjoy too.
[QUOTE=Duck M.;51394171]Yeah like other people have said in order to be happy in a relationship you have to be happy with yourself first. Being lonely can suck sometimes, especially for us considering that its a bit harder for us to get into relationships, but you have to learn how to be happy single first in order for a relationship to actually be healthy and conductive to your life. And remember, being in a romantic relationship really isnt everything, treasure your friendships, hobbies, and other stuff you enjoy too.[/QUOTE]
That's what I meant in terms of building something more than the sum of your parts with someone: you already are complete, both of your, but get to add upon the happiness you both experience and the general breadth of experiences you have (which means they're also not all good).
I want to find someone that is down with my soppy little dream of a nice house with some land outside Seattle, and who wants to have 3 dogs too. And a reading room, I've already decided I shall have a glorious reading room. And a bed of tulips somewhere, I love tulips :D
[sp]the craziest part of this dream is finding a house with land anywhere within driving distance of the aero jobs around here :/[/sp]
[QUOTE=Firecat;51394296]I'm scarily content with simply talking to no one and doing little to nothing on a majority of my days[/QUOTE]
i feel this
also the other thing kinda keeping from wanting a relationship is like... idk i just feel like it would be so awk for me? just doing shit with another real human being is weirdly off putting to me and i cant really explain it, just freaks me out if im going to be all the way real
[QUOTE=Berman Slick;51394692]Marry me
[editline]18th November 2016[/editline]
I always had this idea for a big spiral garden, a pond, veggies n fruit, a bigggg garden. And a colourful room for when my mind is wandering, music or reading or tinkering[/QUOTE]
gardens are a full time job unless it's just a pet tomato
[QUOTE=bitches;51394765]gardens are a full time job unless it's just a pet tomato[/QUOTE]
pet tomatoes are a full time job too, you have to feed them, give them water, clean up after them, take them out on walks, give them love and attention, and put them at the top of the grocery bag so they don't get squashed under the soup cans
im too absent minded for plants tbh
I'm content with a pet rock.
[QUOTE=Duck M.;51394771]im too absent minded for plants tbh[/QUOTE]
I'm better at taking care of animals and plants than I am with other responsibilities.
[QUOTE=Adelle Zhu;51393858]Considering driving to Massachusetts to make sure you're still alive tomorrow.
[/QUOTE]
I'm stable enough to not act on anything, If anything I am too scared to go through with suicide but I constantly wish I could do it because my life isn't going well and I'm stuck. No one believes me when I say this and they wind up laughing or being mean to be over it which only increases the feeling.
I mean I actually got a text at 8ish at night from this woman who works at my local gym saying they basically hired me I just have to show up there so I can do some paperwork and background checks so this soothes my doubts about my social skills because I managed to get a job just by socializing and being a local at my gym.
That's one good thing going for me and that brings me one step closer to my goal of wanting to be a personal trainer.
depression sucks, I've been off my meds for weeks because I don't understand how insurance works and it's been a pretty awful experience. I'm rooting for you, dear, we can make it.
[QUOTE=Mort Stroodle;51394767]pet tomatoes are a full time job too, you have to feed them, give them water, clean up after them, take them out on walks, give them love and attention, and put them at the top of the grocery bag so they don't get squashed under the soup cans[/QUOTE]
If you think pet tomatoes are bad, try pet onions, fuckers are a bitch to grow without letting them rot, so much as the tiny bit of damp gets to them they start to sprout, if you don't plant them when they do that they turn to mush.
Are you talking about the tiny onions which randomly grow in gardens?
They're pretty cute but they're really strong.
[QUOTE=IJNOMED;51394968]I'm stable enough to not act on anything, If anything I am too scared to go through with suicide but I constantly wish I could do it because my life isn't going well and I'm stuck. No one believes me when I say this and they wind up laughing or being mean to be over it which only increases the feeling.
I mean I actually got a text at 8ish at night from this woman who works at my local gym saying they basically hired me I just have to show up there so I can do some paperwork and background checks so this soothes my doubts about my social skills because I managed to get a job just by socializing and being a local at my gym.
That's one good thing going for me and that brings me one step closer to my goal of wanting to be a personal trainer.[/QUOTE]
I can't make you happy. Only you can make you happy.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
