Oh man I was in so much denial over my gender and orientation throughout school. -too much information- I'd also have so many intrusive thoughts about being attracted to men and I tried so hard to suppress them. In retrospect it had a horrible effect on my mind but that's life I guess. The mind is such a weird thing and it's so fragile. I'm just glad I found mescaline, it helped me so much to come to terms with my gender identity (and is also what made me choose this avatar. It's a pretty accurate representation of how I felt while tripping :p)
Really I've always had trouble with my sexuality+gender identity and I can attribute that to my first girlfriend I had a few years ago. Granted it was long distance and stuff, I was extremely sensitive at the time and very unwilling to be open about myself.
Basically, when I had come to terms with myself being trans, I told them, and they bitched me out, saying that I "wouldn't know what it was like" and that I "didn't know long enough". She was trans too, by the by.
I know I sound like a pussy and that I should "get over it" but that's permanently stuck with me, and I feel that if I present my sexuality/identity to anyone that it will just make them mad, and I have a lot of difficulty trying to be comfortable with myself.
[editline]27th May 2016[/editline]
At times, I feel like it'd be best I had no sexuality at all, so I could focus on more important things.
I kind of feel the same. Some nights, the loneliness and guilt will consume me to the point where I wish I didn't want to be attracted or attached to anyone so I'd never have to think of it again.
It's also a reason as to why I have a (really bad) tendency to become co-dependent when in a relationship. Knowing that I have someone that I could be open to and comfortable with is such a boon to my emotional well-being that it becomes really damaging to end up losing one. I get thrown into a limbo where, regardless of the outcome, I always blame myself for the relationship ending
I know that's really, really bad but it's not something I can just turn off/will away.
[editline]27th May 2016[/editline]
merge
[editline]narkgle[/editline]
If you want me to snip these I will, I don't want to be a downer in the thread
Don't. It's not good to let feelings like that fester inside of you at all.
She sounds like a shitty person tbh. What kind of asshole attacks another person for being trans, especially while being trans themself. I know how hard it can be to open up too, social anxiety is literally a curse. The only time i can even kinda open up is while high or drunk and even then I just make everything awkward. I had a boyfriend for a while a couple of years ago but it never went any further than awkward cuddling cuz I felt like I was doing everything wrong and I'd ruin it if I went any further. Drugs with serotonergic properties seem to help me the most when it comes to opening up but I feel like I've racked up a horrible dependance on them. I can't vouch for the efficacy of a therapist since I don't have insurance but talking it out with someone who can give professional insight might help.
Honestly I also find it difficult to talk about any of these issues with people because if my parents find out I'd be kicked out of the house and disowned v:v:v
For what it's worth, I think you're all very lovely people who deserve to be happy and have good lives.
I went to a meeting to discuss trans rights last week and it really saddens me to see how much permissions people need in order to do whatever changes they need on their OWN body
[QUOTE=Linkuya;50405565]i don't know this man
[editline]27th May 2016[/editline]
[IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG]AND THEN HIS DICK FELL OFF[IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][/QUOTE]
[IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbGJzQgsNhU&list=PLpbLN2O0qi_MQDc2Os3WLgu5JaLS4eEmz]AND THEN THEY FUCKED ALL NIGHT[/url] [IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG]
[QUOTE=Duck M.;50406305][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbGJzQgsNhU&list=PLpbLN2O0qi_MQDc2Os3WLgu5JaLS4eEmz]AND THEN THEY FUCKED ALL NIGHT[/url] [IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][/QUOTE]
Ya botched it, mate.
[QUOTE=Duck M.;50406305][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbGJzQgsNhU&list=PLpbLN2O0qi_MQDc2Os3WLgu5JaLS4eEmz]AND THEN THEY FUCKED ALL NIGHT[/url] [IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][/QUOTE]
Ya blew it
Mmmm 3 day old Little Caesars and cheap wine is the supper of the gods. So what are you guys chowing down on for supper/lunch/breakfast?
[QUOTE=FurrehFaux;50406545]Mmmm 3 day old Little Caesars and cheap wine is the supper of the gods. So what are you guys chowing down on for supper/lunch/breakfast?[/QUOTE]
[t]http://foxcock.me/web/dump/Phone%20Camera/Camera/IMG_20160527_235852814_HDRedit.jpg[/t]
macaroni and cheese and cornbread
[QUOTE=FurrehFaux;50406545]Mmmm 3 day old Little Caesars and cheap wine is the supper of the gods. So what are you guys chowing down on for supper/lunch/breakfast?[/QUOTE]
usually rice with vegetables or soup :v:
i tried asking this in a fast thread but didn't get much feedback so maybe here?
[QUOTE=bitches;50400113]The lights on one half of my bedroom don't work. It can't be fixed without opening up the wall.
I want to install a new set of lights in the spot the broken ones are, and I want to make them turn on whenever the lights on the working side are on. That way the newly installed lights and the working ones are all controlled by the same switch.
I plan to use an Arduino with a light sensor, attached to a power relay (lets small signals control huge power output toggling), and some lighting equipment in order to achieve this.
Parts, in order of connection:
[img]http://i.imgur.com/hVk9V8a.jpg[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/Q7FktkW.jpg[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/zg5brBA.jpg[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/mUI082E.jpg[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/9teSoSI.jpg[/img] [img]http://i.imgur.com/mqOpwxH.jpg[/img]
This looks very feasible, but I'm wondering if this project is really worth spending [B]$70[/B] on to get all these parts. I already own the arduino board.
It's a neat idea to me. If anyone has any opinions or ideas on how to make it cost less, or ideas on how to make it more worthwhile (via the arduino programming or even interfacing with my PC) I'm all ears.[/QUOTE]
someone suggested an Adafruit LED strip but they cost up to 70$ each and it they don't seem nearly bright enough if you just buy one
[QUOTE=bitches;50406716]i tried asking this in a fast thread but didn't get much feedback so maybe here?
someone suggested an Adafruit LED strip but they cost up to 70$ each and it they don't seem nearly bright enough if you just buy one[/QUOTE]
I'd say just get a lamp that plugs into the wall socket and use one of these [t]http://i.imgur.com/Q7FktkW.jpg[/t] to amp up the brightness. Using an arduino and light sensor seems unnecessarily complicated just to automate something that takes a few seconds. But if you enjoy tinkering and doing DIY stuff then go for it. The stuff you're looking at seems sufficient enough for what you're wanting to do, although I'd suggest getting an LED lamp with a warm colour temperature for that comfy incandescent feel and the energy savings.
warm lightbulbs are [I]awful[/I]
[editline]28th May 2016[/editline]
what else might I automate with the power relay? anything that can plug into a standard power outlet and let my PC control if it has power or not
[editline]28th May 2016[/editline]
could make my lightswitch control a desk fan just to fuck with my dad
[QUOTE=bitches;50406805]warm lightbulbs are [I]awful[/I]
[/QUOTE]
b-but pitch white / cold lights are so depressing and sterile feeling. Nothing feels more home-y than a nice incandescent bundle of warmth
[QUOTE=FurrehFaux;50406880]b-but pitch white / cold lights are so depressing and sterile feeling. Nothing feels more home-y than a nice incandescent bundle of warmth[/QUOTE]
i get ya but there's a balance to be held to not live in orange hell
[editline]28th May 2016[/editline]
plus my walls are already yellow
Help, got a shit load of exams coming up and stress is killing me.
Send me hugs, please.
Also, been a while fags. Sup?
getting the courage to move out for your first time with other gays is tough, especially when you haven't met them in person yet.
How do I stop procrastinating and just make the phone calls and shit to get this over with? I could have been gone months ago living much more happily if it wasn't for my mind trying to come up with arguments to stay here with my unhelpful family. The only reason i'm even here anymore is because I still love and hang out with my ex, hes my only rl friend. And he's been whining about all his friends moving further away despite him blocking me for weeks every other month with no warning.
Short term pleasure always seems to beat the long term goals for me. :/
[QUOTE=Joseph Smith;50406928]Help, got a shit load of exams coming up and stress is killing me.
Send me hugs, please.
Also, been a while fags. Sup?[/QUOTE]
i'd send emergency pizza if i could
[sp]ciao bellissimo~[/sp]
Pizza is for nerds.
I'm not a nerd,
I'm a dweeb, get it right you dork.
[QUOTE=~Kiwi~v2;50407138]how about we have a big gay pizza festival[/QUOTE]
Big fan of this idea tbh
[QUOTE=Duck M.;50406305][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbGJzQgsNhU&list=PLpbLN2O0qi_MQDc2Os3WLgu5JaLS4eEmz]AND THEN THEY FUCKED ALL NIGHT[/url] [IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][IMG]https://cdn.betterttv.net/emote/55e2096ea6fa8b261f81b12a/1x[/IMG][/QUOTE]
Im massively gay for forsen
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