When you realize what [I]truly[/I] matters.
When you go through enough disassociation/psychadelia to shed all of that extra bullshit upholding your self-image and you realize that none of what you cared about this whole time you've been alive has mattered. It's different from person to person, I believe.
Sometimes it's just enough to shed light on what you're capable of without distracting yourself with what you want others to think of you, and other times it may be strong enough to completely destroy your world in front of you. The bigger the ego, the harder the fall, just like with anything else.
Just a little glimpse into death, I suppose. Its very humbling and beautiful if you can stand it.
I don't even know man, I became a fractal today
Like I just turned into tendrils of perception, really became one with my environment in such a more complete way than the first time I tried this
[QUOTE=ZenX2;47278302]I don't even know man, I became a fractal today
Like I just turned into tendrils of perception, really became one with my environment in such a more complete way than the first time I tried this[/QUOTE]
Could I talk to you on Steam?
Dude yeah
But like for reals, goldeneye is so much fun
So today I had an extremely bad stomach virus and was prescribed two different meds to make the symptoms a bit easier.
Turns out one of them is usually used against the stomach cramps but has hallucinogenic properties in higher doses (Dimenhydrinate) and the other is a weak opioid (Loperamide).
According to Erowid, you need like four packages of Loperamide to get any kind of effect and the Dimenhydrinate is supposedly a horrible experience since it is a deliriant, so fuck that noise.
Just found it interesting that you can get high off of so many legal things nowadays. :v:
[QUOTE=geel9;47278009]What is ego death[/QUOTE]
I'm still not exactly sure but when I told people here about my first bad trip on 5-MeO-DiPT + weed, someone said it was ego death. Specifically, it was the moment I realized that I don't physically exist, as in my consciousness, personality, likes, dislikes, etc are held in my brain. When I die, my body and brain will still exist until they decompose, whereas my consciousness ceases to exist instantly. It was something I already knew, but when I was in that state of mind it was so crushing to think about. On the plus side, after it was over, life became a lot more enjoyable.
I'm high all the time now. Not quite sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Since starting university, i've been smoking fuckloads of weed all the time. I thought i'd be pretty much stopping, but the lifestyle leads more to an easy smoke when your waiting for class or hanging with a friend at his dorm. On the home front i've mastered the art of the jamacian shower. I don't own a pipe or anything, so let's just say i've been eating a lot of fruit lately.
[QUOTE=nutcake;47278371]So today I had an extremely bad stomach virus and was prescribed two different meds to make the symptoms a bit easier.
Turns out one of them is usually used against the stomach cramps but has hallucinogenic properties in higher doses (Dimenhydrinate) and the other is a weak opioid (Loperamide).
According to Erowid, you need like four packages of Loperamide to get any kind of effect and the Dimenhydrinate is supposedly a horrible experience since it is a deliriant, so fuck that noise.
Just found it interesting that you can get high off of so many legal things nowadays. :v:[/QUOTE]
i did cyclizine, which is a drug pretty much identical to dph, in a forest at night with a few friends. it was totally manic and one mindfuck after another. every time i looked around i wondered where i was, who i was with and if these people where having a bonfire in my room.
your short-term memory is completely gone and you're just acting upon what you're seeing in front of you, no questions asked.
do not do this by yourself, be ready to humiliate yourself and prepare to only remember 1/10 of the night.
[editline]8th March 2015[/editline]
i think it was mac from dd who once challenged me to do it as a joke, and i planned it out and did it. very happy that i did, cause it's an experience that will stay with me.
it's like a brief view into a full blown schizos world.
I just had a mind blowing like, 8 hour conversation and have integrated my experience far far better than I thought was possible, like I just didn't leave it hanging and sorted out what happened and holy shit my life has been changed
Tonight I've brought together all the ideas I've been working towards for months and now it's all come together, like I now have this deep understanding of what the nature of my anxiety is and now it's not a problem, and I figured out how to describe the transformation that my perception underwent and I realized that that was the structure of all ideas and it just exploded from there
I took it like 17 hours ago and I'm still getting some pretty chill visuals all over the place gosh damn
But yeah I understand that weird spinning/spiraling feeling of acid really well now, and I'll probably be able to handle it so much better next time
Like when you feel yourself unravel, haha holy shit you just become your core ideas and nothing else, your body just doesn't exist anymore
[editline]8th March 2015[/editline]
Also at the very end of the night everything got wrapped up into a tiny package that'll remind me of what I discovered tonight for the rest of my life
I saw a penny under a drinking fountain and instead of ignoring it, I was just like, "what's the story behind this?" And I picked it up and it turned out to be old as fuck, like it's just been around for like 60 years maybe more, and it's just the idea that when you just follow your curiosities, you see how interesting the world really is
Also books and water are essential and universal, and you just gotta have it for yourself and make sure everyone else is covered as well, that's all you need really
Decided to smoke a bowl on the road to work...
... not regretting this. Coffee and weed make for a good high too.
What even is weed at this point, now it's like and old friend that I just kind of understand, and then I take that up as high as I can go and maybe I see the structure of my thoughts and space itself warbling chaotically, but like just smoking weed is just such a casual friend, like when you have a history and understanding and remembering that history you can accept that it's there but just chill as friends (you and the weed are the friends)
I took some lorazepam to just kind end it at this point because I'm extraordinarily tired and I just want my brain to slow back down to something near normal speeds
The keyboard on my phone is still having some subtle bubbling rainbows
[editline]8th March 2015[/editline]
There was a point when I was peaking where i felt the gap between me and my surrounding pinched off almost but just not quite completely, and I think that was the point when my ego had an unspectacular 'pop', kinda like a zit of your own existence
Holy shit like, aciiiid
Definitely a milder experience like my first time has it's purpose, but this was something else, like perception, what is that, why not just see everything as this triangle/hexagon strange pattern
I want too sleep more than anything right now, but my brain is still driving on and on
I love acid and I love you guys, g'night y'all hahaha, like 22 hours awake and 18 of that tripping, hahaaha whaaat
[QUOTE=CoilingTesla;47276223]Lexapro, weed, and Seroquel don't. I didn't even get to take my jeans off and put my phone on the charger before I passed out on my bed. I had the most depressing lucid dream about losing all my friends, failing school, and my life spiraling into hatred and sadness. I felt dead and I wanted to stay that way. All I can remember is fighting with my best friends and wanting to off myself. I woke up fat and bloated from the seroquel and I felt drunk and disoriented all morning. I slept in the car the whole way to and back from the Arlington cemetery to see my grandfather. Finally starting to become sentient and balanced again. I can't believe that 50mg puts me on my ass like that, but people take 400mg at a time, twice a day for different disorders. That shit is powerful.
A+ nodding, sedation, euphoria, and mild OEV's before passing out tho.
I seriously must gain like 10 to 15 pounds in my sleep on seroquel. I woke up looking and feeling like a truck driver, but I'm always skinny as fuck.[/QUOTE]
I take 200mg of seroquel, my weight has stayed pretty steady though, it was the other meds I've gotten over the past year and a half that made me gain weight, by the end of last summer from the beginning of october I went from 150 to 195 because of like invega sustenna, latuda, geodon, and risperdal, and haldol.
Got some 15x Salvia on the way, excited to try it, not much else to say at the minute, someone gave me some free film so I'm gonna get some pictures on film at some point, excited to try film out again.
Job hunting isn't going well, nowhere seems to be hiring
First time posting here, still pretty much a novice when it comes to drugs. Ive smoked alot of bud in high school but ive only done acid and shrooms once. I absolutely adore psychedelic drugs and might get ahold of some pretty soon.
Though im a lil worried that even once i finish with the rest of my school ill still have lingering stress from my finals and whatnot which could interfere with my trippping
Clean off H for 3 weeks as of today. I've drank twice since then but I stopped smoking cigarettes and everything else. Feels so good to say!
Seroquel gave me the worst cold sores of my life. What the fuck.
I need to stop depending on having to go get drunk somewhere on the weekend
[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuoiRr6hLjg[/media] I don't even know how I didn't find this band earlier
[editline]8th March 2015[/editline]
why the fuck aren't my media tags working shit
Do any of you think that maybe you do TOO many drugs
been hitting the addies last night, i initially took it because im wanting to rewrite my phones OS but instead spent that time chillin with friends. I just landed a job and i start on monday (nightshifts) So i am happy :D
[QUOTE=geel9;47282524]Do any of you think that maybe you do TOO many drugs[/QUOTE]
Too many? How many is too many? But seriously? Probably.
I'm long past that point, though, my friend, maintenance of mental and emotional health is always going to be key, though.
You could probably get high off a few of these thread-goers' piss, just like a shaman haha.
[QUOTE=geel9;47282524]Do any of you think that maybe you do TOO many drugs[/QUOTE]
no obviously not this was DD for a reason yo
Going to do an ayahuasca trip sometime during spring break, want to do it with someone else, but all of my closest friends aren't into drugs, and most of my friends that do drugs I don't really know too well, or are generally uncomfortable around. I have two friends who I think I would genuinely enjoy tripping with, but one is out of town and one is on antidepressants, which would give a good dose of serotonin syndrome and other delights with the MAOI (or in my case, the RIMA)
So my question is whether or not it would be a good idea to do it alone. I'm planning on going to the woods around noon, tripping all day and camping the night in a tent, nice woods but not dead quiet (you can always hear the distant, low rumble of the freeway where I live) I think I can handle myself and might actually be able to enjoy myself more alone, but that runs counter to almost everything I've been told by people with experience with psychedelics.
So my question is this: Would it be better to trip with someone I don't know too well or to trip alone?
[QUOTE=G-Wash;47282561]Going to do an ayahuasca trip sometime during spring break, want to do it with someone else, but all of my closest friends aren't into drugs, and most of my friends that do drugs I don't really know too well, or are generally uncomfortable around. I have two friends who I think I would genuinely enjoy tripping with, but one is out of town and one is on antidepressants, which would give a good dose of serotonin syndrome and other delights with the MAOI (or in my case, the RIMA)
So my question is whether or not it would be a good idea to do it alone. I'm planning on going to the woods around noon, tripping all day and camping the night in a tent, nice woods but not exactly quiet (you can always hear the distant, low rumble of the freeway where I live) I think I can handle myself and might actually be able to enjoy myself more alone, but that runs counter to almost everything I've been told by people with experience with psychedelics.
So my question is this: Would it be better to trip with someone I don't know too well or to trip alone?[/QUOTE]
they couldn't give him an SSRI instead? atleast with those you don't have to change your lifestyle.
Been thinking of smoking the rest of my weed after sort of deciding not to smoke it due to the awful result I got from it. Though I don't believe I gave it enough chances to brush it off like that, so I'll at least smoke what I have and then I'll see if I buy more or not. Little paranoid over having weed sitting around like that.
I'm a little concerned over time and when I can smoke. Obviously I'm not too experienced as I've only smoked 3 times (4 if you count one miserable attempt which failed). When do you guys get high on whatever it might be and where? Do you live with parents or by yourself? I live by my parents during the weekends and a mental ward during the weekdays so smoking during the weekdays is out of question for me.
[QUOTE=G-Wash;47282561]Going to do an ayahuasca trip sometime during spring break, want to do it with someone else, but all of my closest friends aren't into drugs, and most of my friends that do drugs I don't really know too well, or are generally uncomfortable around. I have two friends who I think I would genuinely enjoy tripping with, but one is out of town and one is on antidepressants, which would give a good dose of serotonin syndrome and other delights with the MAOI (or in my case, the RIMA)
So my question is whether or not it would be a good idea to do it alone. I'm planning on going to the woods around noon, tripping all day and camping the night in a tent, nice woods but not dead quiet (you can always hear the distant, low rumble of the freeway where I live) I think I can handle myself and might actually be able to enjoy myself more alone, but that runs counter to almost everything I've been told by people with experience with psychedelics.
So my question is this: Would it be better to trip with someone I don't know too well or to trip alone?[/QUOTE]
Reposting for new page
[QUOTE=Nightsure;47282434]I need to stop depending on having to go get drunk somewhere on the weekend
[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuoiRr6hLjg[/media] I don't even know how I didn't find this band earlier
[editline]8th March 2015[/editline]
why the fuck aren't my media tags working shit[/QUOTE]
remove the s in https
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuoiRr6hLjg[/media]
Had to get bud form my backup today, ive only had about a third of the 10 i picked up, this is the most gone ive been in a while. It stank the whole house out, and the parents arent too impressed
Can someone give me some pointers with regards to MDMA and (honestly, quite bad) depression?
I'm not on SSRI's and I have been offered a rare opportunity to try some MD with my girlfriend and close friends, as part of a larger group going to a massive house music night. I'm more worried about the resulting days, i'd normally just buy some MJ and stick my head in the sand the next day but I had a really bad experience with some strong Mephedrone a few years ago.
I basically got really drunk, had a load of Mephedrone, smoked a fair bit of weed AND had been taking strong ass cold medicine for about 2 weeks before. I genuinely thought I was dead for about a week afterwards and I was in some kind of life on mars coma or something :v:.
On the other hand, I really want to try MD. Especially with someone I love. Opportunities like this rarely come up for me and i've been thinking about it for a while. I might go for the lowest possible recommended dose and see how it goes?
[QUOTE=G-Wash;47282561]Going to do an ayahuasca trip sometime during spring break, want to do it with someone else, but all of my closest friends aren't into drugs, and most of my friends that do drugs I don't really know too well, or are generally uncomfortable around. I have two friends who I think I would genuinely enjoy tripping with, but one is out of town and one is on antidepressants, which would give a good dose of serotonin syndrome and other delights with the MAOI (or in my case, the RIMA)
So my question is whether or not it would be a good idea to do it alone. I'm planning on going to the woods around noon, tripping all day and camping the night in a tent, nice woods but not dead quiet (you can always hear the distant, low rumble of the freeway where I live) I think I can handle myself and might actually be able to enjoy myself more alone, but that runs counter to almost everything I've been told by people with experience with psychedelics.
So my question is this: Would it be better to trip with someone I don't know too well or to trip alone?[/QUOTE]
Which plant are you using? With acacia confusa its active orally without any beta blockers so it could be safer for your friend on antidepressants. Tripping alone is fun just dont get lost or hurt
[editline]8th March 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=NorthernFall;47283247]Can someone give me some pointers with regards to MDMA and (honestly, quite bad) depression?
I'm not on SSRI's and I have been offered a rare opportunity to try some MD with my girlfriend and close friends, as part of a larger group going to a massive house music night. I'm more worried about the resulting days, i'd normally just buy some MJ and stick my head in the sand the next day but I had a really bad experience with some strong Mephedrone a few years ago.
I basically got really drunk, had a load of Mephedrone, smoked a fair bit of weed AND had been taking strong ass cold medicine for about 2 weeks before. I genuinely thought I was dead for about a week afterwards and I was in some kind of life on mars coma or something :v:.
On the other hand, I really want to try MD. Especially with someone I love. Opportunities like this rarely come up for me and i've been thinking about it for a while. I might go for the lowest possible recommended dose and see how it goes?[/QUOTE]
Entheogens have the possibility to further push your depressiom or to relieve it. The greatest chance of worsening your depression comes from the depletion of seratonin, the chemical consequence. The chance of decreasing your depression comes in the form of realization, the empathetic endeavor.
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