[QUOTE=G-Wash;47395525]Went on two ayahuasca trips last week, the first one went amazing, the second one I drank way too much, didn't go too well, but I still tapered off an immense feeling of peace and well-being, as well as an amazing insight.
At one point I thought I was going to die, but for some reason it didn't bother me. Death, I realized, was peace. I finally came to peace with my mortality. Throughout our lives we endure so much, take it all in, we're awake for most of it, you don't realize it, but it's all very exhausting. That there's an end to consciousness, that's a gift. Why would I want to live forever when I'm old and tired, of the mind and the soul?
That is not to say that I'm going to go kill myself at any point, I've just come to peace with the eventuality. I don't feel that existential anxiety anymore. I've never believed in an afterlife for any long period of time, but I'd always been horrified by the prospect. I rebelled against the idea that death would mean peace, the end of consciousness scared the shit out of me. I'm okay with that now.[/QUOTE]
Which plants did you use?
[QUOTE=cody8295;47396224]Which plants did you use?[/QUOTE]
Acacia confusa root bark and syrian rue seeds, about 4 grams of root bark w 3 grams of seed the first time, which was awesome, felt like a low level acid dose with none of the tinges of darkness that usually come with it.
That trip made me realize that we are incapable of knowing the truth of the way that things are, especially in a general sense. Things that we know are translated into ideas based on our observations-- but those ideas are not those things. In the same way, words act as bridges between worlds, but words are not those worlds, they are only bridges. So in telling someone of something that you've experienced, be it a movie or a particular artist, it is impossible to get them to fully understand what you understand about that particular thing. This is why people find themselves so unable-- and try so hard-- to be understood. But being understood is only truly possible with someone who has gone through what you've gone through-- and to come even close, someone has to try to understand you. To try to be understood by someone who is not even trying, or someone who is unable through their viewpoint, is a truly pointless. I also learned through observing wasps and crane flies in a tree through an open window that most people simply want to be left alone, and that the pursuit of perfection is the source of all unhappiness.
The second trip was about three days later, where I took 14 grams of root bark, overestimating both my tolerance and levels of psychedelics which are enjoyable. It started off pretty great, but then took a nose dive when the full extent of the drug started to kick in. I tried desperately to vomit, but was unable, and it would have done me no good anyway. I resigned to wrap myself in a blanket and wait for it to wear off-- "it IS going to wear off, don't worry, the world will make sense again soon"--that was in many forms my mantra. The lack of consistent geometries was disturbing to say the least, and the constant kaleidoscopic twisting of the room became unbearable.
Then it started to wear off, steadliy the bed I was laying on started flattening out, becoming a consistent size between all of the times I looked at it, I was incredibly relieved, using my new found sense to scribble "going to be okay-- to be is ALL there is" some statement that was profound when I made it, yet I only have a general sense of the meaning now-- in some kind of tune, too, I can still remember it.
Then it started to ratchet up to full intensity again-- that would be the second sip of the stuff peaking-- bringing me back down. After a few minutes several ideas converged -- high heart rate--didn't follow the diet--high blood pressure--hypertensive crisis--dehydrated--oh god, could I be dying? the idea that I might be about to die went coursing through my head, but somehow that didn't bother me--What I'm going through right now, dying couldn't be much worse could it? Death is not even black; simply absence, nothing, peace.-- I had no urge to throw myself out of the window or anything, just that thought-- may death take me now, let it take me-- I came away from that accepting my own mortality, like I had gone through some near death experience.
I still believe my old stance, that I should fight my own mortality by doing great things with my life, so I don't waste what little I may have, and so I may be remembered long after I am gone. Einstein, Shakespeare, Feynman, Dickens, Sagan- so on and on-- those men will never die. But the only thought that bothers me now is the thought that I might die too soon, or that I spend my life being complacent, and do nothing with it.
In short, heroic doses of psychedelics are not necessarily enjoyable, but they are not entirely useless either. I came down from that trip with a profound sense of meaning and belonging, of profound spiritual simplicity. From then on I started to knock out all of my outstanding school work I had been putting off-- such a simple thing, why did I avoid it so long? my lack of happiness is directly attributable to my avoidance of doing this work, yet all it is really is a couple of hours spent reading and scribbling on a few pieces of paper.
Anyway, I ramble, but talking about shit like this puts me in that state of mind.
[QUOTE=G-Wash;47396455]Acacia confusa root bark and syrian rue seeds, about 4 grams of root bark w 3 grams of seed the first time, which was awesome, felt like a low level acid dose with none of the tinges of darkness that usually come with it.
That trip made me realize that we are incapable of knowing the truth of the way that things are, especially in a general sense. Things that we know are translated into ideas based on our observations-- but those ideas are not those things. In the same way, words act as bridges between worlds, but words are not those worlds, they are only bridges. So in telling someone of something that you've experienced, be it a movie or a particular artist, it is impossible to get them to fully understand what you understand about that particular thing. This is why people find themselves so unable-- and try so hard-- to be understood. But being understood is only truly possible with someone who has gone through what you've gone through-- and to come even close, someone has to try to understand you. To try to be understood by someone who is not even trying, or someone who is unable through their viewpoint, is a truly pointless. I also learned through observing wasps and crane flies in a tree through an open window that most people simply want to be left alone, and that the pursuit of perfection is the source of all unhappiness.
The second trip was about three days later, where I took 14 grams of root bark, overestimating both my tolerance and levels of psychedelics which are enjoyable. It started off pretty great, but then took a nose dive when the full extent of the drug started to kick in. I tried desperately to vomit, but was unable, and it would have done me no good anyway. I resigned to wrap myself in a blanket and wait for it to wear off-- "it IS going to wear off, don't worry, the world will make sense again soon"--that was in many forms my mantra. The lack of consistent geometries was disturbing to say the least, and the constant kaleidoscopic twisting of the room became unbearable.
Then it started to wear off, steadliy the bed I was laying on started flattening out, becoming a consistent size between all of the times I looked at it, I was incredibly relieved using my new found sense to scribble "going to be okay-- to be is ALL there is" some statement that was profound when I made it, yet I only have a general sense of the meaning now-- in some kind of tune, too, I can still remember it.
Then it started to ratchet up to full intensity again-- that would be the second sip of the stuff peaking-- bringing me back down. After a few minutes several ideas converged -- high heart rate--didn't follow the diet--high blood pressure--hypertensive crisis--dehydrated--oh god, could I be dying? the idea that I might be about to die went coursing through my head-- but somehow that didn't bother me--What I'm going through right now, dying couldn't be much worse could it? Death is not even black; simply absence, nothing, peace.-- I had no urge to throw myself out of the window or anything, just that thought-- may death take me now, let it take me-- I came away from that accepting my own mortality, like I had gone through some near death experience. I felt like an old, old man on that bed, and I felt like I was ready to die.
I still believe my old stance, that I should fight my own mortality by doing great things with my life, so I don't waste what little I may have, and so I may be remembered long after I am gone. Einstein, Shakespeare, Feynman, Dickens, Sagan- so on and on-- those men will never die.[/QUOTE]
That's great, i have the day off from work and school tomorrow and i have the same ingredients you used all capped up and ready to go. Ill make the decision when i wake up
[editline]25th March 2015[/editline]
I havent been following a diet but i heard syrian rue is pretty forgiving when it comes to tyramine interactions since harmalax are reversable maois.
[QUOTE=cody8295;47396493]That's great, i have the day off from work and school tomorrow and i have the same ingredients you used all capped up and ready to go. Ill make the decision when i wake up
[editline]25th March 2015[/editline]
I havent been following a diet but i heard syrian rue is pretty forgiving when it comes to tyramine interactions since harmalax are reversible maois.[/QUOTE]
oh yeah I had known that, only the amount of stuff I had heard to the contrary had seeped into my trip, and no amount of rational thought (or at least what passed for it at the time) could completely surpass the bad vibes. That positive doubt definitely helped a lot though.
[editline]25th March 2015[/editline]
Oh yeah and keep in mind that the potency of Acacia confusa can vary slightly, so give yourself a little wiggle room.
[QUOTE=G-Wash;47396552]oh yeah I had known that, only the amount of stuff I had heard to the contrary had seeped into my trip, and no amount of rational thought (or at least what passed for it at the time) could completely surpass the bad vibes. That positive doubt definitely helped a lot though.
[editline]25th March 2015[/editline]
Oh yeah and keep in mind that the potency of Acacia confusa can vary slightly, so give yourself a little wiggle room.[/QUOTE]
I'm guessing it's just over 2-3 grams, and about the same amount of rue, perhaps a little more.
[QUOTE=cody8295;47396607]I'm guessing it's just over 2-3 grams, and about the same amount of rue, perhaps a little more.[/QUOTE]
Yeah that sounds like a good amount. Happy trippin bro
T1's are now my perfect sleep aid. Can't use them to get high anymore though. My recreational drugs now are stims and beer. Nothing else for holy shit they can fuck up your mind pretty damn well.
been seshing call of duty black ops lately, that old school zombies shit is fun as fuck, pissed off though because i'm really drunk and i got a raygun in the mystery box and i [I]just[/I] got to upgrade it with pack-a-punch when my game suddenly crashed
I'm getting really good at scraping my only piece
whoops, I accidentally ate about 10L of ice cream recently, brb gonna unclog arteries before I die
they should put warnings on that shit. it's 49% fat, 49% sugar, and 2% of other things
Double dash is a timeless game
I made a Nutella firecracker for my Grannie tonight
[QUOTE=Halahazam;47393713]He had interesting topics brought up, but most of his mumbo-jumbo was just what he dreamt while being high. I notice that I am in the minority in this thread according to all those ratings, but I don't know what you guys see in him. He has great philosophy and sci-fi value, but other than that it's just hot air. He is supposed to have ''experience'' in a lot of fields, ecology, biology, geology etc, but there are alot of holes in his ''theories''. His anthropology is in general overly optimistic and naive.
People buy into this kind of pseudoscience way too easily. They hear stuff secondhand and parrot it without any understanding. Psychedelics make you feel smarter and more creative than you actually are. They make you feel like you're in on this grand cosmic secret, but if you were to try to explain that secret to anyone it would sound like run of the mill new age hokum. It is an experience, nothing more and nothing less. It cannot be explained or analyzed very much, when it does the mystique vanishes under scrutiny. Psychedelics didn't create civilization and they won't save it.
ALSO read his brother's book;
Dennis McKenna - The Brotherhood of the Screaming Abyss[/QUOTE]
Terrence McKenna is an overrated drugged-out crackpot that spouts 90% nonsense and 10% mildly interesting brain teasing stuff.
If you want to read or listen to some interesting things, go through some of Aldous Huxley's essays (specifically Doors of Perception, which he wrote after tripping - one of my favorite reads). Or, if you want something less academic and more relaxing and spiritual, just throw on Alan Watts lectures. If you want to learn more about drugs or spirituality or anything, study it, don't parrot the ideals of your idol. Read books. Drugs are cool, and they give you an opportunity to better yourself and expand your worldview, but if you just do drugs to do drugs you're doing yourself a disservice. If you take exercise supplements without exercising you just get bad gas. Use them as an opportunity to grow and develop your own ideas - too many people just jump on the generic stoner psychedelic guy bandwagon and never actually read anything of substance. McKenna isn't philosophy in the slightest - take some logic courses and philosophy courses and reconsider, people - philosophy is math, not just dicking around with cool ideas in your head.
(this wasn't directed to you, more at the people who think McKenna is philosophical at all, because he isn't.)
[QUOTE=.Isak.;47397915]Terrence McKenna is an overrated drugged-out crackpot that spouts 90% nonsense and 10% mildly interesting brain teasing stuff.
If you want to read or listen to some interesting things, go through some of Aldous Huxley's essays (specifically Doors of Perception, which he wrote after tripping - one of my favorite reads). Or, if you want something less academic and more relaxing and spiritual, just throw on Alan Watts lectures. If you want to learn more about drugs or spirituality or anything, study it, don't parrot the ideals of your idol. Read books. Drugs are cool, and they give you an opportunity to better yourself and expand your worldview, but if you just do drugs to do drugs you're doing yourself a disservice. If you take exercise supplements without exercising you just get bad gas. Use them as an opportunity to grow and develop your own ideas - too many people just jump on the generic stoner psychedelic guy bandwagon and never actually read anything of substance. McKenna isn't philosophy in the slightest - take some logic courses and philosophy courses and reconsider, people - philosophy is math, not just dicking around with cool ideas in your head.
(this wasn't directed to you, more at the people who think McKenna is philosophical at all, because he isn't.)[/QUOTE]
Aw man, I would rate him at least 60/40 on the bullshit/interesting meter but i guess we all have different opinions.
[QUOTE=.Isak.;47397915]["idol"] is an overrated drugged-out crackpot that spouts 90% nonsense and 10% mildly interesting brain teasing stuff[/QUOTE]
yeah man i love kurt cobain
[sp]a lot of people get mad at me for not liking kurt cobain but this is pretty much why i don't like him[/sp]
[QUOTE=TCB;47399579]yeah man i love kurt cobain
[sp]a lot of people get mad at me for not liking kurt cobain but this is pretty much why i don't like him[/sp][/QUOTE]
he was probably a very un-fun guy with a stick 2 miles deep in his ass, but he made some sick tunes so eh
[QUOTE=G-Wash;47396626]Yeah that sounds like a good amount. Happy trippin bro[/QUOTE]
6 caps of rue ingested, I can already hear my stomach screaming. If I don't feel sick within the next half hour I'll take 7 root bark caps and hold on tight.
edit: all i've had to eat when I woke up was honey roasted peanuts, a vitamin b12 chewable, and a glass of OJ. Besides that my stomache is mostly empty. I had a good amount of mashed potatoes last night but I think that's an MAOI safe food. So far I feel light and a little less anxious then right before I downed them. 15 minutes from now I'll decide if I want to take the acacia.
edit: all 7 caps down
I like to regurgitate crack-pot bullshit once in a while.
I guess I just enjoy inciting arguments over what's real and what isn't.
Then again I also like to yell the names of chemicals in public once in awhile- Like yelling "Dextromethorphan Hydrobromide!!" or something similar while walking into a walmart. The looks of confusion from people who heard it but don't know it are hilarious, only beaten by the looks from people who [I]do[/I] know these chemicals. Maybe I'm just used to being looked at like a crackpot.
[QUOTE=EditOutJ;47399615]he was probably a very un-fun guy with a stick 2 miles deep in his ass, but he made some sick tunes so eh[/QUOTE]
nirvana are cool; all the other members were really good but the only impression i ever got from cobain was just strung out rambling, like take heart shaped box, diehard fans say it preaches wisdom and understanding deeper than any other artist, while to others (eg me) it's literally just pseudo-poetic nonsense. yadigg?
in other news, my cousin is selling me this sexy alto sax
[img]https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t34.0-12/11079757_1087539171259663_226332776_n.jpg?oh=865482152a44125f8b81ad47fa407187&oe=55173FB1&__gda__=1427501201_12829fae8754bab17164921a5b388e9d[/img]
yall ready for this? [I]i dont think so[/I]
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
have fun cody myman ily<3
LSD round 3 today, woo
It's now about 25 minutes later, I decided to smoke... I really wish I hadn't done that. A feeling extremely reminiscent of coming up on shrooms has taken over me. It's all good though, I got my Strange Days album playing and I'm feeling good so far. Nausea was (semi) bad at first but now all I can feel is from my heart.
Recently went back to PCP. I'm far more comfortable with it now that I've used deleriants.
[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;47399951]Jealous as fuck.[/QUOTE]
i've got loads of 25i and some 2-cb and 2-ce
livin big
And here I am with just a huge bag of mushrooms :(
You people are rapidly making me want to trip again.
Feeling goood, maybe some vasoconstriction but whateveer
goddamn, playing bloodborne whilst high is a great feeling
Tripping at a restaurant, what
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
I'm glad I didn't smoke this time, it's much smoother. Really easy to integrate into everyday activities
But also dope CEVs on the beach, aaaa
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
I'm glad I didn't smoke this time, it's much smoother. Really easy to integrate into everyday activities
But also dope CEVs on the beach, aaaa
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Live your lives as one big song, guys
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Meditating is opening up the world right now, holy shit
All dischord and bad juju and whatever in the world only serves for greater resolution later
Why do people have to be different, I just don't feel it anymore
Everything just flows together if you let it
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
I've simultaneously forgotten who I am while still being me
Everything is that is and will be, shiet
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
My world is kind of falling apart right now, but in a good way?
Like, I have a life?? What is time. I've been posting things, what is posting, what is history? What is experience? Why did I have anxiety at some point? What the fuck is this thing called marijuana? Why?
I've just been drawing mandalas in the sand and meditating and that's good enough I guess
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Nothing is eternal but the fact that existence is real
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
I'm so obsessed with my own unhappiness that I forget to live
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Everything is harmonious rainbow gloopy glorp
I live in my thoughts instead of the outside world
I think of myself as something special, something smart, something creative
Then why does it never feel that way
Why do I care that there is a difference
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Rereading all this is reassuring
I think I need to cool it on the drugs for a few months, fuck
I think I'm in a better place, on a better path,
I feel like I'm forgetting my past and the world around me but it's still here in some ways, I've just taken another step out of myself
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Steve jobs was a fucking genious, holy shit
The fact that he tripped a lot makes all of Apple make sense all of a sudden
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
I don't think I know what countries are anymore
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Too often I get lost in the framework of the world and forget that a framework only exists to hold something
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
I feel like the bottom section of the letter i, always grasping at that dot but I don't know why
The letter I really aligns with the concept of the self
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Why have I always been so attracted to psychedelic concepts, even before actually taking psychedelics
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Whoa I am like rapidly descending back to reality, that's very comforting. What is comfort. Why do I care
How did I even have a worldview before I started seeing everything as this big fractal ball of amazing
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Haha I feel like I can totally understand where people would lose their shit as have a bad trip, but that's the part idgaf about. Like forgetting your past, wow it's surprising that happened. But I didn't really care because
Shit idk anymore I'm just gonna roll with it forever I guess
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
I used to have this idea of what un-reality looked like but I just don't have it anymore, shit childhood imagination lost I guess. Traded out for drugs
Maybe that's why I'm so happy I stopped smoking weed. It just replaces your imagination like a parasite
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Yeah I'm not gonna smoke weed again for a while. Fuck thaaat
The new tame impala song, good golly. Words to live by
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
What does it even mean to be "overwhelmed"
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Kid A, Everything in it's Right Place. Fucking perfect, of course. Like how often do you not find yourself, awake, in the midst of eating a citrus?
Everything in it's right place.
[QUOTE=GayIlluminati;47399981]Recently went back to PCP. I'm far more comfortable with it now that I've used deleriants.[/QUOTE]
Be careful please.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
