Why do I feel like my usual consciousness is hidden from me, and yet I know how to function better than ever
[QUOTE=ZenX2;47403027]Why do I feel like my usual consciousness is hidden from me, and yet I know how to function better than ever[/QUOTE]
Maybe it is actually self-limiting thoughts that are hidden from you, but you learned to associate it with "usual consciousness"
What have you been smoking, ZenX2
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Psilocybin vials x 9 came in the mail today.
[QUOTE=HJ23;47403131]Maybe it is actually self-limiting thoughts that are hidden from you, but you learned to associate it with "usual consciousness"[/QUOTE]
Yeah that's what I'm thinking, well like that's basically where my anxiety comes from. Thinking too much. I should just embrace that for what it is
Uuuugh I have to be around a shitload of people imminently and I don't really want to do that but I don't really have much choice
At least I can function better than usual? Actually I'm not really worried anymore
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
[QUOTE=Banandana;47403154]What have you been smoking, ZenX2
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
Psilocybin vials x 9 came in the mail today.[/QUOTE]
Dude, just a teensy bit of LSD
You're making me want to find LSD, Zen...
Separating myself and my actions from the anxious and self-depreciating thoughts in my head is probably my biggest obstacle in life apart from finding out what I truly want. I would love to have a similar experience now that I feel I am ready for it.
microdoses are cool
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
LSD is gr9 that's why I'm getting 25 tabs
Dude... I can't even imagine what life would be like if I could afford to buy sheets of LSD..
I'd probably have to quit smoking weed to afford that.
well I sure don't smoke so that's one thing you can do :v:
I also never really buy weed and don't know how much people smoke/how much it costs weekly/monthly, so I'm not really used to having a durg budget, I just buy whatever I want.
Like I could choose to either smoke weed all the time or drop money on trying pretty much every good, interesting thing out there.
I'd much rather see what's out there than just get stoned all the time.
So nothing wild really happened with the 3 to 3 ratio. It was just an incredibly stoned feeling with strong harmala buzz. It lasted under 2 hours and I had fettuccine alfredo and a bunch of pizza at most 7 hours later. Gonna try 2.5 sr to 7 bark next time
You guys I really want to trip. But I'm still just waiting on my psychiatrist appointment because I'm too anxious to get a job. I'm so bored all day I can't even go out because I have no gas.
What're the main differences between lsd and shrooms?
They're both different.
Some like one, some like the other. It's a matter of personal preference.
To put it in simple terms.
LSD feels more spacey Shrooms are more earthly.
I also find LSD to be more manageable than shrooms, as shrooms can get strong and fast and that may cause some bad trips.
Personally i suggest you trying shrooms but that is because i like shrooms more. Also some useful links
[URL]https://www.erowid.org/chemicals/lsd/lsd.shtml[/URL]
[URL]https://www.erowid.org/plants/mushrooms/mushrooms.shtml[/URL]
[QUOTE=Castle;47403527]You guys I really want to trip. But I'm still just waiting on my psychiatrist appointment because I'm too anxious to get a job. I'm so bored all day I can't even go out because I have no gas.
What're the main differences between lsd and shrooms?[/QUOTE]
I've only done 25i and shrooms (which is vaguely similar to LSD but way more "synthetic" feeling from what I've heard), but I can speak from experience on shrooms compared to other RCs/more conventional psychedelics.
For one, shrooms taste like eating rubber. When you get high, you'll see some patterns and stuff, but not nearly as much as with other drugs - mostly just walls morphing and subtler patterns over the really really trippy super-detailed patterns you see with 25i. You feel tingly, especially in your stomach/abdominal area, and you just want to experience everything and feel the world. Mild synesthesia-ish effects.
25i (not LSD, not really similar, but in a lot of areas it's basically the only "acid" you can find) is waaaaay more visual and heady. Less of a connection to everything, way more of a stimulant sensation - you just laugh a bunch, you see incredibly detailed moving murals of designs, and you feel tingly in your head - not so much in your gut.
Someone else can provide a better description of LSD because I know it differs from 25i, but unless you're buying online you're not likely to find actual LSD anyways.
[QUOTE=CoilingTesla;47403189]You're making me want to find LSD, Zen...
Separating myself and my actions from the anxious and self-depreciating thoughts in my head is probably my biggest obstacle in life apart from finding out what I truly want. I would love to have a similar experience now that I feel I am ready for it.[/QUOTE]
i find mxe really lets me separate my thoughts from my usual consciousness, lets me take a step back and think about myself and pretty much everything without getting emotionally worked up.
[editline]26th March 2015[/editline]
lets me do some deep thinking without interference, and examine problems and find some solutions to it. i would almost say i have a far more constructive personality while on low mex doses than i regularly am, there's just the whole "woah fuck i am walking like a damn glitchy terminator" aspect that makes actually doing anything pretty much impossible
It's 1AM, I'm drunk, and as much as I'd say I don't care, there's this thing on my mind.
I've been thinking about women. It's hard, one, meeting women given my current situation, and two, finding someone who isn't just completely biased against the use of psychedelic drugs.
I work at an online home improvement site, and most of my time is spent programming. I make a lot of money for someone my age, but because of how much I work in hope of moving out, I also never really am at the place to find a girl who's actually fucking interesting (either that or they're way older than I am, which I kind of think as a plus). I hang out with friends at a hookah lounge quite often and am in the process of finding my own place, which isn't even a problem.
It's just hard when you're a software developer and every girl out there seems so into horses, country music, or their looks. It doesn't help when telling someone you love doing psychedelic drugs is something that makes them back the fuck away from you like you're a creep. I'm pretty accomplished for my age, and I honestly think that drugs are a least common denominator when it comes to the kind of people that use them, (pretty much anyone) so the conception is that most people who use drugs are deadbeats. Obviously this isn't true, but from what I've seen, a lot of them are misconceived as such. Me being out there, I can see how someone more conservative would think the same way to a bigger extreme.
Hopefully you guys can make sense of this. I'm pretty normal I think; I don't give off any indication that I do drugs or anything, nor am I attracted to people who do (because most people seem pretty unintelligent and tend to abuse them instead of using them responsibly). It's just frustrating finding someone who isn't a dopefiend (or looks like it, but maybe I'm just prejudice), but also doesn't mind someone who enjoys alternate states of mind.
[editline]27th March 2015[/editline]
I should hit on women at work, but seriously, they're all at least 4-5 years older than me (I really am attracted to older women, but I'm afraid they'll say I'm too young for them). I'm a 19 year old software developer and most people my age are working shit jobs. I could afford a nice fucking place with whatever on the side, but I seriously couldn't care if that's what I'm using as a baseline to represent myself. I've worked a shit job and it sucks. I just feel like I have no opportunity to meet people with my interests.
I'm just not normal. I listen to the strangest fucking music, my hobby is basically computer programming, which is why I love my job, I like getting fucked up and partying, and I'm in the process of moving out. I think of myself as a programmer who isn't socially fucking inept. Maybe I'm just overthinking how strange I am but srs my favorite kind of music is this kind of shit:
[video=youtube;_8LnzDTaCDk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8LnzDTaCDk[/video]
something most people would hate.
You guys are cool, and I've seen some of your posts, some of you are really on my level when it comes to how we think and our opinions. What do you guys think.
Also I feel like going to San Francisco.
Like getting shit together and just going to San Francisco to fuck around, get hammered, sickled, and have a good time.
Wow I really kinda shit my brains out onto the forums there, that probably would have been better off texted to myself but w/e
I haven't tried shrooms but the best way I can describe LSD is that for a little while everything you thought of as "you" disappears (although it's still accessible if necessary) and you experience the pure, unadulterated beauty of the universe flowing directly into your senses
Like imagine you've lived your whole life holding this mask on a stick that is "you" in front of your face, and you just put it down for a while and exist as a floating brain
I mean sure, there's visuals. Things lose the rigidity of their dimensions, moving in impossible ways that you realize have always been possible in your perceptions but you just never noticed. Textures growing and shrinking infinitely within themselves. But that's not really where the power of the experience is
I'm definitely glad I took the time to meditate this time. I can't really put what I experienced into words other than "rainbow gloopy glorp" as I previously mentioned, or new age mumbo jumbo like "feeling my energies align". Mostly I just felt the asymmetries of my body/mind and tried to get them as close to being "aligned" as I could manage. Although something I realized/realized last time but understood better now is that nothing will ever be perfectly symmetrical in the actual universe, and it's kid of required. If there wasn't an asymmetry to the waves of the ocean they would never crash, never stop rolling
[QUOTE=Banandana;47404398]Maybe I'm just overthinking how strange I am[/QUOTE]
you are. you don't sound very weird at all, EDM-style shit isn't that unusual (at least in my area), you have a good job, etc.
as long as you don't start out by saying "yeah i like DOING LOTS OF LSD AND EXPLORING THE UNIVERSE" you shouldn't come off as that weird. everyone and their mother in my town knows I do psychedelics and smoke and stuff, plenty of them think i'm weird, but most realize that I'm a pretty normal guy outside of that and it's very much a rarity.
i know how you feel, i've been single since junior year of high school and i've fucked once in the last 2 years - don't put too much thought or effort into that shit. hormones will make you want to, but it's not worth it. as long as you aren't oblivious when a girl actually hits on you, you'll be fine. i met a girl at UME through a friend and now we've hit it off pretty well even though we met while rolling and wasted. you'll have temporary success with women if you play the game and fuck around, but you're more likely to find an actual worthwhile relationship if you're just a genuine person and you don't go out looking for a girl. people are attracted to guys who aren't constantly trying to get with them.
hit the gym, go to more parties, network a little bit outside of work, meet friends of friends of friends - if you're social you shouldn't have that much trouble meeting people. don't expect to find your dream girl, but keep an eye out for people that vibe with you
[QUOTE=Banandana;47404398]It's 1AM, I'm drunk, and as much as I'd say I don't care, there's this thing on my mind.
I've been thinking about women. It's hard, one, meeting women given my current situation, and two, finding someone who isn't just completely biased against the use of psychedelic drugs.
I work at an online home improvement site, and most of my time is spent programming. I make a lot of money for someone my age, but because of how much I work in hope of moving out, I also never really am at the place to find a girl who's actually fucking interesting (either that or they're way older than I am, which I kind of think as a plus). I hang out with friends at a hookah lounge quite often and am in the process of finding my own place, which isn't even a problem.
It's just hard when you're a software developer and every girl out there seems so into horses, country music, or their looks. It doesn't help when telling someone you love doing psychedelic drugs is something that makes them back the fuck away from you like you're a creep. I'm pretty accomplished for my age, and I honestly think that drugs are a least common denominator when it comes to the kind of people that use them, (pretty much anyone) so the conception is that most people who use drugs are deadbeats. Obviously this isn't true, but from what I've seen, a lot of them are misconceived as such. Me being out there, I can see how someone more conservative would think the same way to a bigger extreme.
Hopefully you guys can make sense of this. I'm pretty normal I think; I don't give off any indication that I do drugs or anything, nor am I attracted to people who do (because most people seem pretty unintelligent and tend to abuse them instead of using them responsibly). It's just frustrating finding someone who isn't a dopefiend (or looks like it, but maybe I'm just prejudice), but also doesn't mind someone who enjoys alternate states of mind.
[editline]27th March 2015[/editline]
I should hit on women at work, but seriously, they're all at least 4-5 years older than me (I really am attracted to older women, but I'm afraid they'll say I'm too young for them). I'm a 19 year old software developer and most people my age are working shit jobs. I could afford a nice fucking place with whatever on the side, but I seriously couldn't care if that's what I'm using as a baseline to represent myself. I've worked a shit job and it sucks. I just feel like I have no opportunity to meet people with my interests.
I'm just not normal. I listen to the strangest fucking music, my hobby is basically computer programming, which is why I love my job, I like getting fucked up and partying, and I'm in the process of moving out. I think of myself as a programmer who isn't socially fucking inept. Maybe I'm just overthinking how strange I am but srs my favorite kind of music is this kind of shit:
[video=youtube;_8LnzDTaCDk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8LnzDTaCDk[/video]
something most people would hate.
You guys are cool, and I've seen some of your posts, some of you are really on my level when it comes to how we think and our opinions. What do you guys think.
Also I feel like going to San Francisco.
Like getting shit together and just going to San Francisco to fuck around, get hammered, sickled, and have a good time.[/QUOTE]
dude i fucking wish women understood my music tastes. this shit is bumping.
Thats not strange, its just trap, loads of people love that stuff. Hell that tune has 2.2 million views
Sounds like meeting a girl at a rave would be ideal.
But I know how much easier said than done that is. Usually Im concentrating too much on keeping my jaw on my face than noticing what gender the person next to me is.
[QUOTE=ZenX2;47404422]Wow I really kinda shit my brains out onto the forums there, that probably would have been better off texted to myself but w/e[/QUOTE]
Nah, I really enjoyed reading about the mindset you were in. I find people's mindsets to be relatively understandable based on what exactly they've been doing, so someone who's done LSD can understand the mindset more, if that makes sense.
Besides, the insight one gains from something like LSD can definitely be shared with others. It's not like you're the only one with some of the issues you might have resolved during a trip.
[editline]27th March 2015[/editline]
And finally, for fucks sake people who understand me :/ Every girl I've seen my age is so fucking fake it's unbelievable, and it's probably because I don't have a really diverse pool of people, just a bunch of basic uninteresting girls for a lack of better way to put it.
[QUOTE=ZenX2;47404422]Wow I really kinda shit my brains out onto the forums there, that probably would have been better off texted to myself but w/e
I haven't tried shrooms but the best way I can describe LSD is that for a little while everything you thought of as "you" disappears (although it's still accessible if necessary) and you experience the pure, unadulterated beauty of the universe flowing directly into your senses
Like imagine you've lived your whole life holding this mask on a stick that is "you" in front of your face, and you just put it down for a while and exist as a floating brain
I mean sure, there's visuals. Things lose the rigidity of their dimensions, moving in impossible ways that you realize have always been possible in your perceptions but you just never noticed. Textures growing and shrinking infinitely within themselves. But that's not really where the power of the experience is
I'm definitely glad I took the time to meditate this time. I can't really put what I experienced into words other than "rainbow gloopy glorp" as I previously mentioned, or new age mumbo jumbo like "feeling my energies align". Mostly I just felt the asymmetries of my body/mind and tried to get them as close to being "aligned" as I could manage. Although something I realized/realized last time but understood better now is that nothing will ever be perfectly symmetrical in the actual universe, and it's kid of required. If there wasn't an asymmetry to the waves of the ocean they would never crash, never stop rolling[/QUOTE]
holy shit try man I can't believe you haven't tried shrooms
i felt like a hippie, rubbing my face against a concrete wall because I was so in love with everything around me and I just felt like I was another motion in the process of life and I felt so interconnected and shit
then I had an anxiety attack but for that little bit of time it was great
seriously, try them
I feel like I shouldn't be sober going to a rave. I should be rolling on at least 140mg.
[editline]27th March 2015[/editline]
with lines to do for the rest of the night.
That and I have no idea how to find a rave. :/
the club scene where i live is so dead i just want to get mexxed and dance to trap music fucking seattle is too far away
fuck this dude I should go to San Francisco with a fuckton of drugs, find a rave, and just party the night away
[QUOTE=Banandana;47404434]
And finally, for fucks sake people who understand me :/ Every girl I've seen my age is so fucking fake it's unbelievable, and it's probably because I don't have a really diverse pool of people, just a bunch of basic uninteresting girls for a lack of better way to put it.[/QUOTE]
don't judge people as "fake," it's just a guise people put on to hide insecurities - underneath the "basic bitch" persona there's almost always a genuine, complicated person who's incredibly interesting to get to know
trust me half my friends are stereotypical white girl wasted sort of people on the surface but they're really interesting people further down.
i just downloaded gravity boys and bladee and thaiboy digital and i'm spacing the fuck out right now
I used to be the same, but I havent taken MD in 8 months and just drinking at raves instead. Cant deal with comedowns any more and I like remembering what actually happened.
[QUOTE=Harry3;47404451]I used to be the same, but I havent taken MD in 8 months and just drinking at raves instead. Cant deal with comedowns any more and I like remembering what actually happened.[/QUOTE]
loads of alcohol + a stimulant
fantastic for raves, I got incredibly fucked up and popped a vyvanse before most nights at UME and it was wonderful, only took molly once and it was overwhelming
you get the euphoria plus you have the energy to actually go wild and dance
[QUOTE=.Isak.;47404450]don't judge people as "fake," it's just a guise people put on to hide insecurities - underneath the "basic bitch" persona there's almost always a genuine, complicated person who's incredibly interesting to get to know
[/QUOTE]
Also this, I always go out and dismiss every girl I see as being too good looking for me, or being too fake. When really I have serious self esteem issues and havent even tried speaking to them.
[QUOTE=.Isak.;47404450]don't judge people as "fake," it's just a guise people put on to hide insecurities - underneath the "basic bitch" persona there's almost always a genuine, complicated person who's incredibly interesting to get to know
trust me half my friends are stereotypical white girl wasted sort of people on the surface but they're really interesting people further down.
i just downloaded gravity boys and bladee and thaiboy digital and i'm spacing the fuck out right now[/QUOTE]
I'm going to internalize this to better myself, as strange as it sounds. It makes sense now that I think of it, and thank you for bringing that point up. I wouldn't have thought about it otherwise.
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