[QUOTE=ljonny;47452873]You know, I had the same dream.
Except it was that I somehow stumbled upon a mighty rock of Amphet.
and I somehow got a hold of a nice nice Pyrex Pipe, and every time I hit it, I realized, I'm dreaming. But I couldn't wake up, because I didn't want to not have such items.
But ofcourse it always comes when i open my eyes.[/QUOTE]
Ah yes, I've had many dreams of a drug-yearning nature. When I quit smoking for a few months, whenever I would try to sleep, just as my consciousness started to slip and my vision began to shimmer into hypnagogic illusion I would see smoke rise in the front of my vision as if I'd just lit a cigarette. Then I'd be ripped from the dreamstate in cold sweat.
During the nights I'm away from ice for more than a couple days I'll have dreams reminiscent of buying some meth, crushing it up and cutting it fine, getting ready to take a nice line then waking up. Or having a friend crush up some rocks and then finding big chunks everywhere all over the table and the floor afterwards.
Some drugs can be like devious little worms that work tunnel into the depths of your mind.
[editline]3rd April 2015[/editline]
For me, the worst part of these dreams is the feeling of waking up and realising I don't have whatever drugs. However, I've been told that people who have been trying to quit a drug and dream about buying/having/using that drug feel immense shame due to the dreampt relapse.
[QUOTE=Draginz;47447271]Do you mind me asking of the nature of your schizphrenia?[/QUOTE]
Imagine the meanest person possible. Now imagine they hear your every thought and are "critiquing" you on it and you hear every word and they don't give one fuck about it and continue as scheduled. Now imagine if that person were embodying other people to make it sound like it was emanating from them. This is what I deal with every thought I have while around another human being.
[QUOTE=Creid;47453563]Imagine the meanest person possible. Now imagine they hear your every thought and are "critiquing" you on it and you hear every word and they don't give one fuck about it and continue as scheduled. Now imagine if that person were embodying other people to make it sound like it was emanating from them. This is what I deal with every thought I have while around another human being.[/QUOTE]
I always try to imagine what people are thinking about me when I speak to them, I'm not very good at it but just trying is beneficial because it's the only way I'm gonna maintain eye contact. But shit in your case I would just try to embrace the hate, analyze the critiques and determine if they're suggestions that will actually benefit and advance your quality of life, if not, consider the anger incompetent and not worth believing (most of the time).
I can't imagine having schizophrenia, but I don't see a way of using your mind to think a way out of it. If the voices are hitting you 24/7 then it can fatigue you pretty quickly to try and fight every critique that comes at you. Better off using drugs to decrease the symptoms enough so it can be put off as a bothersome noise in the background than directly trying to combat the thoughts. In my opinion paranoia is one of the worst symptoms to have, because when a human can't trust their own senses/observations for reactions they have nothing to keep them grounded, not even their own thoughts are safe, and the sense of safety is paramount to healthy mind.
[QUOTE=Cpn Crunch21;47454006]I can't imagine having schizophrenia, but I don't see a way of using your mind to think a way out of it. If the voices are hitting you 24/7 then it can fatigue you pretty quickly to try and fight every critique that comes at you. Better off using drugs to decrease the symptoms enough so it can be put off as a bothersome noise in the background than directly trying to combat the thoughts. In my opinion paranoia is one of the worst symptoms to have, because when a human can't trust their own senses/observations for reactions they have nothing to keep them grounded, not even their own thoughts are safe, and the sense of safety is paramount to healthy mind.[/QUOTE]
The only thing which really sucks about having it is dealing with people who use schizophrenia to box you in what you are allowed to do. Otherwise the hallucinations are one-off things which just catch your eyes, and any noises you hear tend to be very minimal at best.
[QUOTE=Creid;47453563]Imagine the meanest person possible. Now imagine they hear your every thought and are "critiquing" you on it and you hear every word and they don't give one fuck about it and continue as scheduled. Now imagine if that person were embodying other people to make it sound like it was emanating from them. This is what I deal with every thought I have while around another human being.[/QUOTE]
When I was on Focalin I had something like this but it was more that any talking I couldn't quite hear sounded like it was about me/sounded like derisive laughter, I only rarely heard voices when no one was talking but they sounded fairly close to my head/like a thought I didn't think/had no control over. I feel like it's the same mechanism but at a much lighter degree
DMT inbound, I'm coming for ya you little dimension you!
[QUOTE=JoeSkylynx;47454042]The only thing which really sucks about having it is dealing with people who use schizophrenia to box you in what you are allowed to do. Otherwise the hallucinations are one-off things which just catch your eyes, and any noises you hear tend to be very minimal at best.[/QUOTE]
holy shit is that whats wrong with me
i thought it was some sort of hppd
[QUOTE=TCB;47454101]holy shit is that whats wrong with me
i thought it was some sort of hppd[/QUOTE]
If you just see distortions and illusions then it's likely just HPPD. Schizophrenia is particularly characterised by delusional thoughts and beliefs, thought disorder, speech disorder aka word salad, significant paranoia, auditory delusions/hallucinations or in some cases catatonia.
I have visual distortions almost constantly, most often it manifests as a fog or miasma flowing and morphing over a particular object, eventually changing the shape of the object with it. Besides that I have constant visual static (however I learned to ignore it long ago). I've half heartedy tried to find an "x factor" which might influence the degree of intensity of the distortions (I wouldn't even call them hallucinations) which I believe may reside in diet, mood or both.
Something of notable interest is that my hallucinations worsen significantly whenever I become rather stressed.
i've gotten really paranoid lately and i'm hella plagued with ~mental issuez~
[editline]4th April 2015[/editline]
definitely gonna go see my psychologist, april throws my serotonin out the damn window
Here's a video I like to show people to give them an idea of schizophrenic thought/speech disorder (you have to watch at least three or four minutes in to get a decent idea).
If you pay a bit of attention to his wording he almost exclusively talks metaphorically or via some other indirect manner.
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1XO6o-9mqQ[/media]
stay positive TCB, my based nigga
ily
I'm rollin hard on MDMA right now.
Protip: Always have menthol when rolling, it's like your high rocketships to space
Yeah i recently started getting weed for $15 a gram and i'm super fucking happy about it. Then i realise that that isn't cheap at all. I wish i could save up enough money for a 1/4 Ounce.
When I used to smoke, it was $20/gram for good stuff and $10-15 for the shitty stuff.
So after Monday, I'm going to be going through some intense opiate withdrawal until Friday. What should I do to keep it contained? It rips me up every time and disables me practically to the point all I do is sleep, throw up, and roll around on the bed going "ohhhh".. I usually smoke a lot of weed but even that's starting to just NOT help whatsoever.
The pain medication I take is my own prescription, I just don't get enough and I'm a bastard that steals them from where they're kept because I just hurt all over, all the time, so damn bad.
I had the random urge to go to an Infected Mushroom show, I checked if they were touring and they're gonna be in my town in a month. Fuck yeaaaah
It feels so good to be able to go outside without a hoodie or coat. Spring is finally here, I feel my mood improving already. Being able to chill in my back porch at night without freezing my nuts off feels good man, brings back all the summer memories.
Ive been gettin bomb weed for cheaper than normal
i'm all about that hash at the moment
I've been racking up weed debt and paying it off with favors.
I figured out if i go sleep sober i wake up feeling a lot better. The problem is that i like getting high before bed and playing videogames. What a legit struggle.
So apparently MDMA doesn't have a bad reaction with Wellbutrin, I could have sworn I read multiple places it did and I just checked again today and everything says that for the most part there's no interaction (or just a potentially dampened experience)
So yeah I'm gonna be rolling at that Infected Mushroom show, so excited
My good friend was visiting the far north, first time I've seen her in a couple of months. We sat at my place and had some wine and smoked a spliff, which was enough to make her sick and pass out (which is fine, used to people crashing after mixing weed and liquor). I was on some stims so I couldn't really fall asleep, so she's been sleeping behind me for the past 4 hours while I made a track for her 'cause I'm a good pal.
[media]http://soundcloud.com/gryoss/noga-sleeps-wip[/media]
[t]http://i.imgur.com/45RwJJ4.jpg[/t]
I should post more stuff in here that isn't my high music, so I'll take a break for a while so I don't annoy anyone haha
[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;47456833]If I could have one wish involving weed it would be to have a fucking choice of what strain I buy.
Every person I buy from has no fucking idea what the strain is that they're selling me, they just say it's "some weed", "homestone" or "good hydro".
I've only ever had the strain name given to me once or twice. It'd be nice to know so I can compare easier and know what I'm fucking buying into.[/QUOTE]
What province are you in?
West coast BC weed is always $10 a gram and it's always good indoor. Buy a lid for $140 and you're getting it at $5 a gram.
Im out of weed I can't reup for another week. I'm loading my baccy from my blunts that I put in a plastic bag, and I'm packing it in my bong. Feels exactly like hookah, and the buzz is insane
feelin good, finally getting to work on some video projects I've been putting off and I'm glad to be productive. I also just copped a solid RTA and variable wattage mod, so that's been nice as it gets. there's some weird shit going on in my neighborhood, i'll put it in spoiler tags to prevent harshing anyone's night.
[sp]Apparently someone in an apartment building near me killed and dismembered someone, then left their body in a duffel bag on a pedestrian path I walk on every day. Weird too, seeing as it's IN SIGHT of the police station. I'm not too worried, seeing as it's a nice neighboorhood, just a little weird. It's been on my mind so I thought I'd share.[/sp]
Apart from that life is good! I've been forcing myself to become more social and I think it's helping with confidence and whatnot. I'm off to cali to visit a college and family in a few weeks, i'm pretty excited. Happy Easter DD!
[QUOTE=explodingape;47460114]spoiler[/QUOTE]
this is the kind of crime that happens when we let these 'stoners' get their next hit
srs tho, that sounds awful
[QUOTE=NoobieWafer223;47457242]So after Monday, I'm going to be going through some intense opiate withdrawal until Friday. What should I do to keep it contained? It rips me up every time and disables me practically to the point all I do is sleep, throw up, and roll around on the bed going "ohhhh".. I usually smoke a lot of weed but even that's starting to just NOT help whatsoever.
The pain medication I take is my own prescription, I just don't get enough and I'm a bastard that steals them from where they're kept because I just hurt all over, all the time, so damn bad.[/QUOTE]
I've went through withdrawals the various times I kicked heroin and I have never found anything that really helps. Benzos supposedly do, but I've never had access to those. Honestly, the only thing that ever helped (marginally and for a short duration) is jerking off. Here's hoping you don't have many obligations this week.
Speaking of, I relapsed like a fucking idiot but I'm going to try and quit again before my problem spirals and I spend all the money I've saved for a new car. It's really true what they say about the company you keep. I was clean for a good bit and then one day decided to go see my old nodding friends and boom right back into it like nothing ever changed. I can't wait until I move.
On a happier note, I found a DMT connection. I've never done psychs before, but I really want to try it. Would it be a decent first time trip drug?
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.
