I use my balls as a comfy pillow to piss off of on lazy days
big dick mayuN!
Once while I was pissing into the toilet I fucking sneezed and the whole toilet was covered with my piss.
[B]Failure.[/B]
I see the problem; you had an erection.
"one of those pisses that last nearly 30 seconds to a minute"
You call that fucking hard to hold in?
A few months ago I went to school without going to the bathroom after I woke up, and I had a couple bottles of water while I was there. Soon enough it was the last class of the day and once I got out I realized I had to go to the bathroom really fucking bad. I wasn't going to go in school since I never do and I would end up missing my bus. I asked the driver if he could let me off at a stop sign that's along the bus route so I can run down the street instead of waiting 10 minutes for it to get to my stop. The driver said no because it isn't a stop, even though he could have just let me off at the stop sign anyways.
Now the bus starts moving and I'm practically laying in my seat hoping for the bus to drive faster. This was to the point where my kidneys were going to explode and I would piss myself if I laughed for more than a second. I decide I'd get off at the first stop and make a run for it and beat the bus to my stop. So I get off and I notice a girl that use to take the bus was driving right behind it. She stops and I tell her she needs to drive me 2 blocks to my house because I had to take a massive piss. The bitch wouldn't drive me, and it was raining and cold that day.
I fucking run my ass home in the rain with my entire abdomen killing me and I get to my house.
I timed the piss to be ~79 seconds, and this is casual piss pressure, not taking my time.
Thought I'd die that day. According to google maps I ran half a mile
[QUOTE=Tippmann357;20636313]"one of those pisses that last nearly 30 seconds to a minute"
You call that fucking hard to hold in?
A few months ago I went to school without going to the bathroom after I woke up, and I had a couple bottles of water while I was there. Soon enough it was the last class of the day and once I got out I realized I had to go to the bathroom really fucking bad. I wasn't going to go in school since I never do and I would end up missing my bus. I asked the driver if he could let me off at a stop sign that's along the bus route so I can run down the street instead of waiting 10 minutes for it to get to my stop. The driver said no because it isn't a stop, even though he could have just let me off at the stop sign anyways.
Now the bus starts moving and I'm practically laying in my seat hoping for the bus to drive faster. This was to the point where my kidneys were going to explode and I would piss myself if I laughed for more than a second. I decide I'd get off at the first stop and make a run for it and beat the bus to my stop. So I get off and I notice a girl that use to take the bus was driving right behind it. She stops and I tell her she needs to drive me 2 blocks to my house because I had to take a massive piss. The bitch wouldn't drive me, and it was raining and cold that day.
I fucking run my ass home in the rain with my entire abdomen killing me and I get to my house.
I timed the piss to be ~79 seconds, and this is casual piss pressure, not taking my time.
Thought I'd die that day.[/QUOTE]
Damn dude, you're a fucking badass.
Good job! +10 man points
[QUOTE=Tippmann357;20636313]"one of those pisses that last nearly 30 seconds to a minute"
You call that fucking hard to hold in?
A few months ago I went to school without going to the bathroom after I woke up, and I had a couple bottles of water while I was there. Soon enough it was the last class of the day and once I got out I realized I had to go to the bathroom really fucking bad. I wasn't going to go in school since I never do and I would end up missing my bus. I asked the driver if he could let me off at a stop sign that's along the bus route so I can run down the street instead of waiting 10 minutes for it to get to my stop. The driver said no because it isn't a stop, even though he could have just let me off at the stop sign anyways.
Now the bus starts moving and I'm practically laying in my seat hoping for the bus to drive faster. This was to the point where my kidneys were going to explode and I would piss myself if I laughed for more than a second. I decide I'd get off at the first stop and make a run for it and beat the bus to my stop. So I get off and I notice a girl that use to take the bus was driving right behind it. She stops and I tell her she needs to drive me 2 blocks to my house because I had to take a massive piss. The bitch wouldn't drive me, and it was raining and cold that day.
I fucking run my ass home in the rain with my entire abdomen killing me and I get to my house.
I timed the piss to be ~79 seconds, and this is casual piss pressure, not taking my time.
Thought I'd die that day. According to google maps I ran half a mile[/QUOTE]
Piss in the bushes?
That drawing is beautiful.
Good job
[QUOTE=orbitrek;20636682]That drawing is beautiful.[/QUOTE]
Thanks, I worked hard on it.
I think you spelled something wrong. In your picture, it says big, when it should say small.
At my school we always have piss on the floor.
Is this how it happens??
[editline]5:40[/editline]
[QUOTE=Atomic elephant;20637354][img]http://i620.photobucket.com/albums/tt285/1337_mod/untitled.jpg?t=1268091287[/img]
Fixed.[/QUOTE]
OP isn't asian
Id like to bring into question the length of the penis. If his balls got in the way of it, I am lead to believe the MS paint is grossly exaggerated and would not hold up in a civil court of law as valid proof of having said huge penis.
[QUOTE=Zenpod;20636649]Piss in the bushes?[/QUOTE]
Assuming I'm going to go up to a random house and piss in bushes. If there were woods I'd do it yeah
Why not drop your pants down since you are in your own apartment?
[QUOTE=VHASE;20636177]I don't fully get it how your balls got in the way of your pee.
Your story reminds me of this:
[url]http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191[/url][/QUOTE]
Fucking lol
Wait your balls got in the way of your dick i can't picture this at all. Did you use the zipper? I never use the zipper lol.
How about you castrate yourself? It'll never happen again! :downs:
[QUOTE=squeaky024;20641558]Why not drop your pants down since you are in your own apartment?[/QUOTE]
Lazy.
[QUOTE=Ragdollpwner;20643002]Wait your balls got in the way of your dick i can't picture this at all. Did you use the zipper? I never use the zipper lol.[/QUOTE]
Neither do I. I just pull my pants down.
[QUOTE=duckduckdean;20641424]Id like to bring into question the length of the penis. If his balls got in the way of it, I am lead to believe the MS paint is grossly exaggerated and would not hold up in a civil court of law as valid proof of having said huge penis.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=OP]I really have [I]no[/I] idea how this is even remotely possible.[/quote]
OP's dick is smaller than his testicles.
what?..........
I can't even begin to imagine [I]how[/I] you did this.
But congrates on the achievment
[QUOTE=Wakka;20643571]OP's dick is smaller than his testicles.[/QUOTE]
His picture proves otherwise.
[QUOTE=Dark Link;20635717][b] despite my [u]dog going crazy.[/u] [/b]
***More story***
[B]The piss reached the fucking hallway.[/B]
[/QUOTE]
Your dog pee'd in in the hallway
[QUOTE=VHASE;20636177]I don't fully get it how your balls got in the way of your pee.
Your story reminds me of this:
[URL]http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120921191[/URL][/QUOTE]
I couldn't stop laughing.
[QUOTE=FreddiRox!;20643961]Your dog pee'd in in the hallway[/QUOTE]
[quote=Dark Link]It's possible, but I don't think he would. He's trained and he's never pissed in the house before[/quote]
[QUOTE=KSI;20635766]i've always wanted to piss everywhere, carelessly[/QUOTE]
I took a piss in the middle of this room I was sleeping in at a house my mates and I were renting one time. It's pretty cool.
That and a bunch of other stuff made me lose my bond though.
That is fucking funny.
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
You made my day
[QUOTE=Dark Link;20635717]Let me start off by saying that the following story is fucking [I]unbelievable.[/I] I really have [I]no[/I] idea how this is even remotely possible. Read on, if you will.
So after work, I stop at the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru because I'm fucking starving. Haven't eaten in hours. I finish eating on the way back to my apartment, and realize that I desperately need to take a piss. This is clearly one of those pisses that last thirty seconds to a minute. Really fucking bad. I quickly unlock the door and rush through the house to my bathroom, despite my dog going crazy.
So do you know how when you're wearing jeans just pulled down a little how they push your ballsack up? Well, I didn't realize that it was [I]just[/I] under my dick. So to prevent pissing all over the toilet seat, I push my dick down [B]right in front of my balls.[/B] The results were similar to when you put a spoon under a running faucet - the bathroom was [I]covered[/I] in piss. My boxers, jeans and shirt were soaked, there was piss all over the floor, on the walls, in the shower, on the counter, in the sink, on the mirror. Piss was on every fucking visible surface.
So after about five minutes of cleaning up the entire bathroom and changing my clothes, I let out a heavy sigh before turning off the bathroom light and walking down the hallway. I step in a yellow puddle. [B]The piss reached the fucking hallway.[/B] I don't even understand how, seeing as how the door is pointing at the mirror and I'm several feet to the left of the mirror. It's fucking mind-boggling.
So, FP.. Here I am, sitting at my desk, pondering this situation. Post your thoughts.
[B]tl;dr:[/B] my balls get in the way of my dick, results in piss-covered bathroom
[B]EDIT: [IMG]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/2866863/diagram.png[/IMG][/B][/QUOTE]
Deformed sac?
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