[QUOTE=darkheadcrab;21320244]I doubt you realize it, but the fact that you're looking for a way to "help" her is just another way that she's exhorting her "power" over you - by causing you to be concerned. You're buying into exactly what she wants you to buy into.
Power is such a stupid concept - so many people think there's something magical and powerful about words, but there isn't. You need to man up, homie. If you want to ask her something, then ask it, but stop letting her attitude dictate your behavior and feelings. She can't control you, you're just letting her control you. Be your own man, she's being her own woman. If keep it up with the passive attitude, she'll dictate all your feelings and tendancies.[/QUOTE]
The OP made the dreadful mistake of having her gender being buried deep in the context. I was uncertain myself, until I read through the thread. Interesting read, I suppose.
Psychiatry seems to be sort of along the lines of "absolute nutcase," instead of "minor (albeit snowballing) problem" in this generation anymore. It never seems to be the correct solution, if you wish to act upon it delicately and maintain your friendship whilst solving her problem.
The easiest way would be recommending her for psychiatry and ending the friendship, but that could create future grudges as well.
Talking it out could help, but based on what you've said you have done that lightly, and if you keep pushing it could cause an unwanted reaction.
And that's about all I could think of for how to solve the situation, besides what others have suggested.
[QUOTE=GreyIOutcast;21320567]The OP made the dreadful mistake of having her gender being buried deep in the context. I was uncertain myself, until I read through the thread. Interesting read, I suppose.
Psychiatry seems to be sort of along the lines of "absolute nutcase," instead of "minor (albeit snowballing) problem" in this generation anymore. It never seems to be the correct solution, if you wish to act upon it delicately and maintain your friendship whilst solving her problem.
The easiest way would be recommending her for psychiatry and ending the friendship, but that could create future grudges as well.
Talking it out could help, but based on what you've said you have done that lightly, and if you keep pushing it could cause an unwanted reaction.
And that's about all I could think of for how to solve the situation, besides what others have suggested.[/QUOTE]
I decided after learning my dad was having internet sex with someone who's not my mom, that i was never ever going to get involved in anyone's personal problems... ever.
[QUOTE=shill le 2nd;21320177]stop shitting up Katie's thread, gosh[/QUOTE]
Yeah, guys. It's seriously starting to smell in here.
[QUOTE=darkheadcrab;21320244]I doubt you realize it, but the fact that you're looking for a way to "help" her is just another way that she's exhorting her "power" over you - by causing you to be concerned. You're buying into exactly what she wants you to buy into.
Power is such a stupid concept - so many people think there's something magical and powerful about words, but there isn't. You need to man up, homie. If you want to ask her something, then ask it, but stop letting her attitude dictate your behavior and feelings. She can't control you, you're just letting her control you. Be your own man, she's being her own woman. If keep it up with the passive attitude, she'll dictate all your feelings and tendancies.[/QUOTE]
Even though I'm not a man, I can still take pretty much every bit of advice here. I really do need to grow a pair. I told myself that today was the day; that I'd be honest with her. But I just tried talking to her and she's busy writing gay Jrock smut.
This is probably not the time to bring up her sexual issues. Tomorrow, I guess. :/
[QUOTE=GreyIOutcast;21320567]The OP made the dreadful mistake of having her gender being buried deep in the context. I was uncertain myself, until I read through the thread. Interesting read, I suppose.
Psychiatry seems to be sort of along the lines of "absolute nutcase," instead of "minor (albeit snowballing) problem" in this generation anymore. It never seems to be the correct solution, if you wish to act upon it delicately and maintain your friendship whilst solving her problem.
The easiest way would be recommending her for psychiatry and ending the friendship, but that could create future grudges as well.
Talking it out could help, but based on what you've said you have done that lightly, and if you keep pushing it could cause an unwanted reaction.
And that's about all I could think of for how to solve the situation, besides what others have suggested.[/QUOTE]
The advice is still legit even though some people here don't know I'm a girl. I'm still taking this all to heart. :)
At this point, I'm almost beyond caring about an "unwanted reaction". Sometimes she's almost parasitic and it's draining. The next time I can catch her in a serious but decent mood, I'm going to bring it up. A lot of you have made me feel better about this. Thank you.
I still want to know how you are going to bring it up and how you think she's going to react.
[QUOTE=abigserve;21321832]I still want to know how you are going to bring it up and how you think she's going to react.[/QUOTE]
Knowing me, I'll probably end up posting it here.
A GIRL ON FACEPUNCH??? WTF???
lol, jk
I hope so, I forsee it either ending in a 2 hour long talk which ends with you holding each other and crying or her calling you a sensitive bitch and leaving the room
Beat her, show her who's boss. She won't be fond of rape anymore.
[QUOTE=VagueWisdom;21244086]Well because they show confidence, if you even bothered with relationships and had confidence you'd probably get the girls too (well depends on your looks too). I hate it when people say this, it just annoys me.
[editline]07:15AM[/editline]
Wrong, then again some people are different. Some girls love the guys who lack the balls to even say hi to them, but usually that's only a few number.[/QUOTE]
You seem to assume EVERYTHING you say is a fact when generally humans act differently, especially in different places across the world
Okay, fuck it. I'm doing it now through MSN so that it's nice and clean. No tears. I feel like I should post it since you guys did take some interest in this, even though this transcript is pretty anticlimactic.
MOO = my friend; changed the name because I'm paranoid.
[QUOTE]Katie says:
Thank you. ^^
Heeey.
You still writing?
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
Im taking a break
Katie says:
Ohh. Okay.
So, I was wondering why you don't like MOO...
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
give me a minute, kay ? gonna lie down
Katie says:
Okay.
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
and I'm a very jealous/protective person, thats why
Katie says:
Okay. But I want you to know he's a good person.
It's just...I don't want you to be posessive because then I feel like you don't trust me with who I'm friends with, and I want you to know you don't have a reason to doubt that. So you don't have to worry.
I'm just kind of feeling like you've been a little too controlling with that. Usually I don't bring this stuff up, but it was kinda bothering me...
I just felt like I had to bring that up.
I'm not trying to hurt your feelings; I'm just trying to honor mine. This is how I feel and you're entitled to my honesty.
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
sirrrt~
*sorrt
and fyi, I'm not serioushalf the time I talk about him. I dont care taht he likes you. I dont hate the guy< i dont know him
Katie says:
Yeah, I know. But it almost makes me feel like you'll hate anyone I'm close with, which I don't like because you're the person I turn to a lot of the time to give me advice on my relationships, you know? And it's hard to get advice if you're already biased before I tell you anything.
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
^^ Don't worry darling. I'm not, honestly I'm not. I just tease. I'm not being serious
I dont hate anyone you're close with
don't hate MOO
don't hate anyone else. I promise. ^^ and I wont be biased
I just like to tease...and sometimes it's hard for me to convey what's a joke and what's serious.
I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. T_T I didn't mean to.
Katie says:
But how could it be a joke? You said yourself that you were jealous and protective.
So that tells me that it wasn't a joke.
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
I was over exaggerating
I am jealous and protective. but not as bad as I made it sound
I should've specified.
agh. Im tired. @_@ okay. let me try to explain.
I most definately am protective. I know that much for sure.
Very protective.
but jealous? that was a joke. Honestly I only said that because I thought you'd go "Noo, you're not jealous!"
like "you're not the jealous type"
or something along those lines.
Katie says:
Is that what you wanted me to say?
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
not what I wanted you to say,
what I thought you would
Katie says:
Okay.
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
you forget, i'm quite tired, so I'm not really thinking very straight, and I was trying to be funny but it didn't quite work out
Look. The only way I'd be jealous is if you really started to ignore me in favor of someone else.
Katie says:
No. I don't play favorites. Don't worry about that, please.
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
I am human, I know I get jealous. But I don't get jealous very easily like alot of people.
I wont. ^^ That's why i'm not jealous
Don't worry about hurting me, and don't worry that I'll be biased or "RAWR MINE" to you or about you. If I do that it's usually just me being teasing. I'll let you know when I'm actually being serious about it
D: I'm sorry if I hurt you. It wasnt my intention
Katie says:
The reason I thought you were though is because it seems like whenever I bring someone up in my life, you assume the worst or you act like they're fucking up somehow. And then sometimes you'll tell me what to do about it, which would usually hurt the other person. Like blocking MOO. That would ruin him.
And you didn't hurt me.
I was just a little...uneasy about it, I guess.
Talking about it is helping.
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
^^ I'm sorry...D: I can be a pessimisst. I was half kidding about blocking him, and I was half worried that he was harassing you. Though when I learned that he's being good to you, I didn't freak. I just...yeah. I do that, I really do assume the worst
I have no clue why, btu I do..I'll try to work on it.
Katie says:
He's never been like that. If he ever was, I wouldn't be talking to him. He's always been respectful and when he talks about anything vaguely sexual, he always asks if I'm uncomfortable or not. That isn't something to worry about with him.
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
good then.
^^
I trust you and your judgment...I can just be quite overprotective.
Katie says:
Yeah. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but I get overprotective when it comes to my friends, too. And that includes MOO.
I'm glad you understand. (:
I want your love and I want your revenge... says:
^^ I do. Ilu~
Katie says:
I love you too.[/QUOTE]
Not sure if that resolved anything. At least she might stop isolating me from my friends. I'm not bringing up the sexual abuse just yet. :/ I think she's worried I'm going to start ignoring her again.
Well that was...really weird. All I can garner from that is she doesn't want to lose you as a friend to some guy she doesn't know. Protective I guess?
[QUOTE=Shoupie;21297091]Sometimes you can't choose who you do and don't care about. I love her (not that way, my god), and I know she loves me too...even if her love of power might be a bit stronger. She actually means something to me. That's why I'm willing to go through some shit for her. That's kind of the basis of friendship, right? ...Even if it's a fucked up friendship.[/QUOTE]
If you really cared, you'd help her.
[QUOTE=Shoupie;21235969]You're right. Her facade is so thick, though. I have to figure out how to get through it without hurting her.[/QUOTE]
[img]http://www.siliconera.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/CrossExamination_00_bmp_jpgcopy.jpg[/img]
:c00l:
Are you like, gonna challenge her to a game of Yahtzee or what?
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