• 3 strange urban legends
    237 replies, posted
You are home to watch Pravda on televisir about degenerate murderer who is on the loose. You look out the window door to beet field, and you notice Man standing in the snow. He look like foto on televisir and he smile at you. You gulp vodka, picking up fone to your right and dialing Local Militia Precinct Commissar. Back out the glass you look, pressing fone to ear. Notice he now closer to you. You drop vodka in shock. No footprints in snow. It was reflection. You dullard! Your apartment is bulldozed down to make way for glorious tractor factory. One night man is riding mule down dirt road. Young woman stands on side of road, calls out for ride home. Is very cold in Soviet winter. Man takes off coat and puts it on back of mule. Girl is also cold. Man gives her sack of turnip for to wear. Girl is much thankful for ride home. Next morning man realize it is day for buying turnip at market, and girl still has sack. He goes to her house. No girl is there, only father. He says daughter died in salt mines ten years ago night before. Man returns to mule, turnip sack is on back of mule. SOVIET HONESTY IS STRONG! EVEN DEATH NOT STOP REPAYMENT OF DEBTS! "Father, I had a bad dream" You take a sip of vodka and roll over. You stare at the clocktower on Sobornaya Square it's 3:23. "Go back to sleep, there is work tomorrow." "No, Father." The familiar warm buzz of vodka starts to sink in. You can barely make out your daughter's pale form in the darkness. "Why is that, devochka moya?" "Because in my dream, when I was about to go back to sleep, the thing wearing Mother's skin sat up." You pause, and face your daughter and look at her intensely. The figure behind you begins to stir. "Don't talk that way about your brother, it is not his fault we have no money for coats. Such is life in Moscow."
[QUOTE=lordilordi;22277955] There were two roommates. One was named Ellissa and the other was named Jane. Elissa liked to constantly study while Jane preferred to party. So that night there was a party but Elissa had stayed home to study while Jane had gone out. To make it easier on Jane, Elissa left the door open so that Jane wouldn’t have to take her keys. At 3 p.m. that night Jane came into the room to get some of her things because she was going back out with some of her other friends. So she did not want to disturb the sleeping Jane therefore she kept the light off , grabbed her stuff and left. The next morning when she came back into her room she saw her roommate murdered and written on the wall was “Aren’t you glad you didn’t Turn On the Light?"[/QUOTE] One day in Soviet Russia two woman stayed in modest apartment of 2x4 metre. One woman studied for Russian nuclear bomb fusion while other went out and danced in street with friends. One woman had to leave door open because hinges had rotted away and local police said she was selfish for asking for new hinges. Other woman had much state approved vodka with friends outside. (Vodka is given out by government more than bread.) Vodka later froze at over -173 degrees. She went back into apartment to get a blanket to cover her vodka with. Light was out due to recurring power shortage. Woman goes back outside to keep vodka liquid. Next she walks in and finds friend dead from radiation poisoning. On wall is written "Be glad you did not turn light on comrade, KGB was here last night disposing of traitors, please clean up mess" Woman finds 5 dead Polish insurgents on floor. KGB arrests her for not buying a new flag to put on wall after bullet holes ruined old one. Apartment is later made way for 15 orphanages. Such is life in Moscow. Later I am doing another one.
That story on the russian sleep experiements is quite genuinly scary, almost probable. Worst of all is how i've been trying to do more lucid dreaming, so the mind is quite a crazy thing for me at the moment. This just makes me feel sort of mad.
[QUOTE=one free man;22448933]That story on the russian sleep experiements is quite genuinly scary, [b]almost probable[/b]. Worst of all is how i've been trying to do more lucid dreaming, so the mind is quite a crazy thing for me at the moment. This just makes me feel sort of mad.[/QUOTE] No it isn't. A person couldn't mutilate him/herself to the extent described in the 'report', let alone remain alive and conscious afterward.
Is it bad that I lauged at the first one?
I would like to see some more scary stories in this thread. I've been reading up on urban legends since the first day I read it.
I think I've heard about the merry-go-round before.
These Russian stories are not funny anymore. It was at first but come on, we need some more real scary stories in here, not just parodies.
[QUOTE=claythepro;22514048]These Russian stories are not funny anymore. It was at first but come on, we need some more real scary stories in here, not just parodies.[/QUOTE] I agree, the first ones were really funny but now they're just annoying
Holy fuck the picture on that dead bart one makes me feel really uneasy.
[QUOTE=Ragamuffin..;22566355]Holy fuck the picture on that dead bart one makes me feel really uneasy.[/QUOTE] Dead Bart was a good one
[QUOTE=NoShogun;22568014]Dead Bart was a good one[/QUOTE] :love:
[QUOTE=Ragamuffin..;22566355]Holy fuck the picture on that dead bart one makes me feel really uneasy.[/QUOTE] I know I hate it!
[QUOTE=theseltsamone;22278597]I've seen the 3rd one a lot. There are a couple versions. Another one: A young lady is alone in her apartment. She goes to sleep with the dog on the floor beside her. In the middle of the night, she is awoken by a strange sound. She is alarmed, but reaches down to the dog who licks her hand. She is reassured and goes back to sleep. In the morning, she finds her dog hung in the shower. [B]Where the dog slept, she picks up a note that says "Humans can lick too."[/B] [url]http://snopes.com/horrors/madmen/lighton.asp[/url] Source[/QUOTE] Variation: The dude cut the dogs tongue off and left it hanging in her shower cut open, bled out, and missing a tongue. He used the dog's tongue to lick her hand Only one I may have is a full ghost story,called Scratches.
must have been some god awful tasting pancakes...
[QUOTE=lordilordi;22277955]There was once an amusement park which contained a Merry Go Round. This Merry Go Round was not very profitable so the owner of the park decided to shut it down. It remained shut down for 10 years until the daughter of the owner decided that such a beautiful merry go round could not stay shut down, so she decided to re-open it. In order to attract publicity she asked her boyfriend to ride the merry go round for 72 hours straight. So the next day the boyfriend began his amazing ride. 5 Minutes into the ride the boyfriend complained that the horse he was riding had bit him but his girlfriend thought he was trying to back down. So the boyfriend continued to ride the horse. 10 minutes later the boyfriend collapsed and the ride was stopped. To everyone amazement the boyfriend had died. Later investigation showed that there was actually a poisonous snake living within the horses mouth and that was why the boyfriend had collapsed and died. There was once a happy married couple with 2 beautiful kids. With the outbreak of World War 1, the husband was drafted into the army and was later pronounced dead. A week after he had died a jar was sent to the family from the army. The family believed that the parents had received the casket. The next day relatives came to mourn him and pancakes were made for everyone. Later that evening they all filled up on the pancakes and then later that night the parents arrived. When asked about the jar containing his cremated remains the family was shocked and appalled by what they had just done earlier that day. There were two roommates. One was named Ellissa and the other was named Jane. Elissa liked to constantly study while Jane preferred to party. So that night there was a party but Elissa had stayed home to study while Jane had gone out. To make it easier on Jane, Elissa left the door open so that Jane wouldn’t have to take her keys. At 3 p.m. that night Jane came into the room to get some of her things because she was going back out with some of her other friends. So she did not want to disturb the sleeping Jane therefore she kept the light off , grabbed her stuff and left. The next morning when she came back into her room she saw her roommate murdered and written on the wall was “Aren’t you glad you didn’t Turn On the Light?"[/QUOTE] [quote=lordilordi;22277955]Horses[/quote] One day in Soviet Russia man and wife go to carnival. Merry-go-round not popular so they try make it more popular. Man complains about horse biting him. Turns out horse has Stalin's face on it to make glorious Soviet Union better. Man is arrested by KGB for complaining about Stalin. [quote=lordilordi;22277955]Pancakes[/quote] One day Germany invaded the Soviet Union. Dyanko has family on collective farm with great kids. He goes to war, he is killed. The family gets mad that they don't get his body, but they don't know the body was destroyed by artillery. So they telegraph Stavka and ask for his body. Stavka gets frustrated so they say "He is in Moscow in a morgue". The family travels to Moscow via horse-and-buggy and arrives at the mausoleum where he is. They take his body, which was under glass. They thought it was because he was good soldier. They take the body and have it cremated. They then accidentally use the cremation jar for pancake flour. The body they actually got was Lenin's body. The family died a day later in an "unfortunate" steam train accident. [quote=lordilordi;22277955]Partying[/quote] There were two roommates at collective farm in Moscow, Sasha and Natascha. Sasha was Stalinist, Natascha Marxist. Sasha decided to kill Natascha for glory of USSR. The KGB was happy and Stalin was too. I just had to do these.
and you fail at them, please leave
So I've been living in this house for a while, stalking the husband, wife, and daughter. I've always found the husband very attractive, but the wife is just a stupid bitch. The daughter saw me one day, and now she's been dreaming about me and asking to sleep in her parent's room every once in a while. So I finally decide, fuck it, I'm gonna try to have sex with the husband, but I'm so hideous that he'll never go for it willingly. I come up with this really good idea to wait until everyone falls asleep, then come in to the couple's bedroom and kill the wife silently, then wear her skin and then try to elicit sex. My scheme goes as planned, I kill the wife, put on her skin, then right as I'm about to wake up the husband to give him the time of his life... The fucking little girl walks in. "Daddy I had a bad dream." "Shit" I think to myself, if she decides to sleep in the bed with us, my plan is screwed. "Do you want to sleep in here with me?" the dad asks... "No, in my dream, when I told you about my dream, the thing wearing mommy's skin sat up." I bolted up immediately. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! I WANTED YOUR DAD TO FUCK ME!" -The end
[QUOTE=cornndog;22570808]So I've been living in this house for a while, stalking the husband, wife, and daughter. I've always found the husband very attractive, but the wife is just a stupid bitch. The daughter saw me one day, and now she's been dreaming about me and asking to sleep in her parent's room every once in a while. So I finally decide, fuck it, I'm gonna try to have sex with the husband, but I'm so hideous that he'll never go for it willingly. I come up with this really good idea to wait until everyone falls asleep, then come in to the couple's bedroom and kill the wife silently, then wear her skin and then try to elicit sex. My scheme goes as planned, I kill the wife, put on her skin, then right as I'm about to wake up the husband to give him the time of his life... The fucking little girl walks in. "Daddy I had a bad dream." "Shit" I think to myself, if she decides to sleep in the bed with us, my plan is screwed. "Do you want to sleep in here with me?" the dad asks... "No, in my dream, when I told you about my dream, the thing wearing mommy's skin sat up." I bolted up immediately. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! I WANTED YOUR DAD TO FUCK ME!" -The end[/QUOTE] That my friend, was fucking golden!
[QUOTE=cornndog;22570808]So I've been living in this house for a while, stalking the husband, wife, and daughter. I've always found the husband very attractive, but the wife is just a stupid bitch. The daughter saw me one day, and now she's been dreaming about me and asking to sleep in her parent's room every once in a while. So I finally decide, fuck it, I'm gonna try to have sex with the husband, but I'm so hideous that he'll never go for it willingly. I come up with this really good idea to wait until everyone falls asleep, then come in to the couple's bedroom and kill the wife silently, then wear her skin and then try to elicit sex. My scheme goes as planned, I kill the wife, put on her skin, then right as I'm about to wake up the husband to give him the time of his life... The fucking little girl walks in. "Daddy I had a bad dream." "Shit" I think to myself, if she decides to sleep in the bed with us, my plan is screwed. "Do you want to sleep in here with me?" the dad asks... "No, in my dream, when I told you about my dream, the thing wearing mommy's skin sat up." I bolted up immediately. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! I WANTED YOUR DAD TO FUCK ME!" -The end[/QUOTE] well done :golfclap:
they arnt legends, they are just really awful situations. Bitten by a snake, Eating some one's remains and a room mate getting murdered.
that was an amazing story, i am in love with you forever
[QUOTE=Foxzrule;22283263]The Medic ------------------------------------ Statues A few years ago, a mother and father decided they needed a break, so they wanted to head out for a night on the town. They called their most trusted babysitter. When the babysitter arrived, the two children were already fast asleep in bed. So the babysitter just got to sit around and make sure everything was okay with the children. Later that night, the babysitter got bored and went to watch TV, but she couldn't watch it downstairs because they did not have cable downstairs (the parents didn't want children watching too much garbage). So, she called them and asked them if she could watch cable in the parent's room. Of course, the parents said it was Okay, but the babysitter had one final request... she asked if she could cover up the clown statue in the corner of the bedroom with a blanket or cloth because it freaked her out. The phone line was silent for a moment, and the father who was talking to the babysitter at the time said, "Take the children and get out of the house... we will call the police. We do not have a clown statue." ------------------------------------[/QUOTE] so?!. they borrowed a clown statue?!. i dont get why the parents make such a fuss about it. and how can a borrowed statue and overreacting parents be scary?
The clown statue was a person
[QUOTE=deathbringer_jo;22583049]so?!. they borrowed a clown statue?!. i dont get why the parents make such a fuss about it. and how can a borrowed statue and overreacting parents be scary?[/QUOTE] nice first post. bad attempt at trolling
Someone do a Moscowpasta of the Russian Sleep Experiments. I expect the end of the world to ensue shortly after.
the clown one fucked with me a little, when i was 8...
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.