Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;52478656]I constantly see "buy me pizza, touch my butt" which I'm guessing is some popular reference I'm out of the loop on[/QUOTE] I think it's vaguely related to "netflix and chill", though I'm probably wrong.

Hi Facepunch, I used to post here a lot in another account before I lost it (it didn't get banned) but I really need help. I had lots of really bad issues in the past but I've worked on many of them and I'm not the same person I was a couple years ago. I'm stronger and happier, that is until today. My girlfriend and I, of three years, have officially broken up and I have to say my depression and my anxiety and everything I fought has returned in what feels like triple the force it began in. We were happy, but she, like a lot of people, needed time to be independent and to herself and to explore her world to find out who she really is. But I was really fucking happy and content, and I made the mistake of putting all my eggs in her basket. I'm honestly devastated and I let her go in good faith and it was a clean, mutually understanding breakup, but I couldn't of wanted the opposite more. and because she really seemed to need this because I want her to be happy but I'm going off the deep end here. I love her and she's fucking gone and this shit is so hard. I really feel like I lost a piece of me and all the cliches and other bullshit seem so real. I've been considering hurting myself, not seriously, but I've already started to try and find another therapist. I'm just torn up guys, and I'm too private and ashamed that I wasn't enough to talk about this. She pulled the usual, you deserve better you're an amazing person you deserve to get what you give blah blah blah. I don't fucking care about that I just wanted her. I sound so stupid and naive right now but this is just ridiculous. Everyone and everything that makes me truly happy just finds a way to slip through my fingers. I don't know what to do

[QUOTE=Chaseymusica;52479669]Hi Facepunch, I used to post here a lot in another account before I lost it (it didn't get banned) but I really need help. I had lots of really bad issues in the past but I've worked on many of them and I'm not the same person I was a couple years ago. I'm stronger and happier, that is until today. My girlfriend and I, of three years, have officially broken up and I have to say my depression and my anxiety and everything I fought has returned in what feels like triple the force it began in. We were happy, but she, like a lot of people, needed time to be independent and to herself and to explore her world to find out who she really is. But I was really fucking happy and content, and I made the mistake of putting all my eggs in her basket. I'm honestly devastated and I let her go in good faith and it was a clean, mutually understanding breakup, but I couldn't of wanted the opposite more. and because she really seemed to need this because I want her to be happy but I'm going off the deep end here. I love her and she's fucking gone and this shit is so hard. I really feel like I lost a piece of me and all the cliches and other bullshit seem so real. I've been considering hurting myself, not seriously, but I've already started to try and find another therapist. I'm just torn up guys, and I'm too private and ashamed that I wasn't enough to talk about this. She pulled the usual, you deserve better you're an amazing person you deserve to get what you give blah blah blah. I don't fucking care about that I just wanted her. I sound so stupid and naive right now but this is just ridiculous. Everyone and everything that makes me truly happy just finds a way to slip through my fingers. I don't know what to do[/QUOTE] I know what you're going through right now. Honestly, I do. And I've been in this place for 3 months now. But there's really nothing I could tell you. Because you probably know already what you could do but maybe don't want to yet. Of course, there's the usual advice that you'll get. "Look for other girls that might also interest you", "Occupy yourself with whatever makes you happy or distracts you", etc. etc. But that will come naturally to you. You won't change because somebody tells you to. You will change because one day you'll wake up and then it just happens. (Please note this doesn't apply to mental illness, so in case you have a history on that it's definitely a good idea to seek a therapist.) It's always good to talk to people, tho. No matter if it's a close friend, relative or to random strangers on the internet.

So to keep shit short, I feel like I'm starting to feel something for one of my coworkers (whom I'll refer to as K going forward). I've known her about a month and I know that stuff between coworkers is usually a no-no, but given that we both work at my family's tap room, it's just been really easy for us to connect with each other on our off time. Talking with her made me realize we both have a lot of similar interests and she seems pretty comfortable with my personality as I am with hers. We've hung out at the tap room on our off time at least 5-6 times now. Last time we were hanging out, K was planning hangout at some pub downtown and I ended up getting invited to go along. Went and did that last night and ended up being out with her and some of her friends until like 3 AM and it was great. During the whole thing, I don't know what it was, but I feel like something just kind of sparked and now I'm really starting to think I might have a thing for her. Is now too early to try and ask her out?

Hey all, not in a very good spot with some friends right now and need some advice. In short, a bunch of crap i wont get into happened and one of my friends said to take some time to let things die down, a couple months to be exact. i thought id be ok with that but lately ive been thinking about how i messed up nonstop and cant seem to get over this issue, i feel like i really need to talk to them but i need to give it time. i dunno, its a weird situation. i can explain better later when i feel more up to it, rn im just kind of in a rut.

[QUOTE=Spastik2D;52483188]So to keep shit short, I feel like I'm starting to feel something for one of my coworkers (whom I'll refer to as K going forward). I've known her about a month and I know that stuff between coworkers is usually a no-no, but given that we both work at my family's tap room, it's just been really easy for us to connect with each other on our off time. Talking with her made me realize we both have a lot of similar interests and she seems pretty comfortable with my personality as I am with hers. We've hung out at the tap room on our off time at least 5-6 times now. Last time we were hanging out, K was planning hangout at some pub downtown and I ended up getting invited to go along. Went and did that last night and ended up being out with her and some of her friends until like 3 AM and it was great. During the whole thing, I don't know what it was, but I feel like something just kind of sparked and now I'm really starting to think I might have a thing for her. Is now too early to try and ask her out?[/QUOTE] That depends on a lot of things. Whether you are able to keep at least a small amount of distance from her at work. Or how many people work at your company. Or how long both of you plan to keep working there. However, since you're both working for your (!) family, that might lead to a conflict of interest.

[QUOTE=uber.;52484246]That depends on a lot of things. Whether you are able to keep at least a small amount of distance from her at work. Or how many people work at your company. Or how long both of you plan to keep working there. However, since you're both working for your (!) family, that might lead to a conflict of interest.[/QUOTE] yes don't ask her out she might not think she can say no without repercussions, and her saying yes means she's now a conflict of interest when you're in a position of authority (perceived or real) never ask out people you have authority over

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;52485230]yes don't ask her out she might not think she can say no without repercussions, and her saying yes means she's now a conflict of interest when you're in a position of authority (perceived or real) never ask out people you have authority over[/QUOTE] Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.

So I wanted to give an update to this post from 4 days ago [QUOTE=SuperLoz;52470995]I feel like I'm in a rut - I'm 25 and have never had a real relationship. In part because I never put my self out there. So, on Friday- I asked a girl out. A friend - we met on the same course. We've been increasingly close friends for the past 6 months. in short, it was a no. Which is what I expected, really - but I wanted to ask because 1) you don't know for sure unless you ask 2) I could feel myself becoming more interested in her - asking now and getting rejected is better than long term pining 3) rejection helps you grow as a person (to a point. I've not really asked many girls out in my life and need to face rejection better). thanks for reading my blog[/QUOTE] I asked on Friday, then didn't speak to her at all over the weekend. When we saw each other on Monday, and Tuesday, she completely blanked me. Like, silent treatment. I was pulling back and not initiating contact at all, but still. Then today she told me that she was really angry that I had asked. She was dreading seeing me this week. She said she felt like we weren't friends anymore. Then she asked me to apologise for asking her out? I've been totally casual about it - I haven't changed how I am around her, but she's been completely weird about it. I only asked her on a date - it's not like I have feelings or crap like that. Was it weird? Did I mess up?

If she overreacted this much just by the fact you asked her out then it's not really worth it tbh. I guess she was disappointed because she thought she now could have a normal friendship with a man without scalating into something more. But that's just my guess. Shit happens, man. Guess it's time to move on. I don't think you have anything to apologize for really. You weren't creeping on her or forcing yourself into her anyway.

It's totally on her for making it weird if you haven't changed anything at all.

Hey, it happened to me without actually asking out; former friend realized I had something for her, and went from jumping on my back in the middle of the street to blanking me in the span of 3 weeks. Damn fine catalist for the depression I was hatching back then. You can be a genuine friend of somebody you have a crush on, and you can get a crush on a friend. However, too many people pretend to be friends just to try and take it further, so people are wary in general. Oh well, her loss.

Just had a chat from an old friend since elementary school. Sometimes I thank social media for bringing old buddies together. If it all goes good I might meet my friend at a get together with food and music. [QUOTE=Eriorguez;52486294]Hey, it happened to me without actually asking out; former friend realized I had something for her, and went from jumping on my back in the middle of the street to blanking me in the span of 3 weeks. Damn fine catalist for the depression I was hatching back then. You can be a genuine friend of somebody you have a crush on, and you can get a crush on a friend. However, too many people pretend to be friends just to try and take it further, so people are wary in general. Oh well, her loss.[/QUOTE] Same situation back at college. There was a girl I had a crush on. I didn't want to make it so sudden to ask her out at first sight (Didn't want to look weird. Do people even ask out on dates after the first conversation?). We talked, got to know one another, etc. Then the one time I wanted to ask her out (we had common interests, and we seemed a bit compatible and make each other feel good), she just got silent with me. Not even a hello. Then the next time we met up she kept dodging me like I was some psycho. From chatting with some of my friends she apparently had some sort of issue that I might have ...well "triggered" unbeknownst to me and others. I felt bad after words. We stopped talking at college, but we're still buddies online so it's super weird.

[QUOTE=Eriorguez;52486294]Oh well, her loss.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=SoftHearted;52485801]Guess it's time to move on.[/QUOTE] Oh - so is the friendship over, too? Fuck

[QUOTE=SuperLoz;52486316]Oh - so is the friendship over, too? Fuck[/QUOTE] That's your choice to make, but keep in mind you don't have to apologize for simply asking someone out. This is a really weird demand on her part.

Feel a little bit more level-headed. Am I really just going to have to wait for things to get better with my friends? I mean, I can't stop thinking about it and get this feeling that I have to keep apologizing to them for stuff I did even though in reality everything is okay for the most part. I've always had anxiety issues though, maybe it's just that.

Without more context on your situation there is little advice to offer. Unless these are like your best friends from childhood I would take "a couple months to be exact" to mean the friendship is over. Are these months of no contact or are you guys still talking but just not about what happened?

[QUOTE=darksoul69;52486529]Without more context on your situation there is little advice to offer. Unless these are like your best friends from childhood I would take "a couple months to be exact" to mean the friendship is over. Are these months of no contact or are you guys still talking but just not about what happened?[/QUOTE] In short, I got jealous because one is dating the other, to put it bluntly. And yes, months of no contact. I sorta freaked out on them and had a period where I was extremely anxious and vented to them a lot and it got funky.

[QUOTE=LordyLord;52486639]In short, I got jealous because one is dating the other, to put it bluntly. And yes, months of no contact. I sorta freaked out on them and had a period where I was extremely anxious and vented to them a lot and it got funky.[/QUOTE] I'd assume the friendship is over then because even if one of them can get over it in a few months the other friend may not be able to and it's just going to be awkward because "why do you hang out with xyz" is going to keep coming up between them.

[QUOTE=darksoul69;52486721]I'd assume the friendship is over then because even if one of them can get over it in a few months the other friend may not be able to and it's just going to be awkward because "why do you hang out with xyz" is going to keep coming up between them.[/QUOTE] Does it really matter if it's irl vs online friends? They're both online friends, and they both seem pretty understanding to my anxiety and situation. It's just hard to read at this point because I've stopped contacting them for the most part. Puts me on edge.

I've been speaking to this really nice gal for about a week now, it's the first time in a while I've felt a genuine chemistry with someone in about 2 years so I'm pretty happy rn it turned out we're both in one of those shitposting groups on facebook, and she liked one of my memes like 6 months ago before we even met, thought that was pretty incredible [editline]20th July 2017[/editline] it was a shitposting group for [URL="https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=the+smiths&oq=the+smiths&aqs=chrome.0.0j69i61l2j0l2j69i60.1413j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8"]the smiths[/URL] too which is pretty romantic

how do you even come across a shit posting group for the smiths? i doubt anyone i know would even know who they are if i asked. [editline]20th July 2017[/editline] yo if i found a chick who was into the smiths i'd be all over that don't know how the wife would feel about that though

My favourite song by The Smiths is the one where Morrissey is sad and depressing 😂😂😂

[QUOTE=LordyLord;52486761]Does it really matter if it's irl vs online friends? They're both online friends, and they both seem pretty understanding to my anxiety and situation. It's just hard to read at this point because I've stopped contacting them for the most part. Puts me on edge.[/QUOTE] They may have been understanding about your anxiety and situation but after reading your post history I can better understand how that conversation went down. So your guy friend is straight and dating a girl but you really like him and you got jealous over the fact hes dating someone else so you make a huge thing about it and things get really nasty. He probably didn't know you were gay or at least that you liked him that way so now hes viewing everything you said to him in the past in another light. I don't know if you gave the roommate your benzos before or after this conversation so I'll assume this also happened when you were in benzo withdrawal which just makes things worse. Maybe someone else can chip in more...

[QUOTE=darksoul69;52488788]They may have been understanding about your anxiety and situation but after reading your post history I can better understand how that conversation went down. So your guy friend is straight and dating a girl but you really like him and you got jealous over the fact hes dating someone else so you make a huge thing about it and things get really nasty. He probably didn't know you were gay or at least that you liked him that way so now hes viewing everything you said to him in the past in another light. I don't know if you gave the roommate your benzos before or after this conversation so I'll assume this also happened when you were in benzo withdrawal which just makes things worse. Maybe someone else can chip in more...[/QUOTE] They're both gay. Sorry for the confusion. But yes, one of them was unaware of my crush and I only let it be known after they went public about their relationship plans. Also should be known that the boyfriend is very understanding of my anxiety issues and the like, so he was the one who advised I just take some time to let things die down. I got a little panicky at times and tried to talk to him before I gave it time, to which he didn't answer me at all, understandably. I dunno, it's a whole situation. I felt out of control a lot of that time. At this point I'm just mostly concerned if time will really help out here, or if I just screwed up enough to where I lost really good friends. Really hoping it's the former.

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;52488213]how do you even come across a shit posting group for the smiths? i doubt anyone i know would even know who they are if i asked. [editline]20th July 2017[/editline] yo if i found a chick who was into the smiths i'd be all over that don't know how the wife would feel about that though[/QUOTE] they're pretty common in the UK tbh, most people know who they are [editline]20th July 2017[/editline] brexit and the tories have made everyone depressed so they're still quite popular

Also, completely forgot to mention it, but I got a job a few weeks ago! Saw an ad in the local paper and sent a quick application. Got called into an interview that lasted for about an hour and a half, after which I was hired and had my first work day the day after. So yay me. :v:

Last night: "oh yeah we're all going to this party" 10 minutes ago: "actually no one wants to go now" seriously i fucking hate how stubborn my friends are sometimes

[QUOTE=Digivee;52474095]I have a little bit of a story and a follow up question. So I recently started working again after a break, back into fast food because its all I can get at the moment. My boss is a trans girl, her name is Amy. When I explained my bisexuality to her (because she's really open about that kind of stuff, and I have no shame) she started coming in the back while I was doing dishes or preping food just to shoot the shit and talk about video games and whatever. A co-worker said that Amy's aunt, who also works with us, said that amy's really into me. This seems to be supported by how Amy asked me to be friends, and she did the same to another person that she's really into. She's also sent me various pictures of different outfits she has, many of which show off a good amount of skin. I have no doubt that she's into me, and I want to ask her out, but the big problem here is that she's my boss. I'm getting a job at amazon later on in the year, and I dont know if I should wait until then to ask her out, possibly losing her interest due to the passage of time and cold feet, or as her out now, running the risk of having a weird work relationship with my employer. What do you guys think I should do?[/QUOTE] Update on this. She asked me out. Couldn't really say no. Decided I'll take her to a gaming themed bar since she loves video games and beer. While I don't plan on getting physical with her, I have condoms ready. Should I trim/shave up my unmentionables, too, or just say fuck it?

[QUOTE=Digivee;52493316]Update on this. She asked me out. Couldn't really say no. Decided I'll take her to a gaming themed bar since she loves video games and beer. While I don't plan on getting physical with her, I have condoms ready. Should I trim/shave up my unmentionables, too, or just say fuck it?[/QUOTE] If you don't want to do the diddly at all then there's no point, no? Like renegade said though, it's a great feeling. Especially if you exfoliate. (always exfoliate)