Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

Hi guys, just wanna share today's experience with you. I use an app so when I travel (back and forth between the city I study in and the city I come from) I can get other people into my car, they pay the sit, so I can reduce the cost of the travel. I use it every week or so. Today I had to take a girl with me (should I mention I barely see women in my life at all ?) I proposed to listen to Arch Enemy (Death Metal) I'm used to people saying please no, well she said please yes. I was charmed. A beautiful redheaded (a bit of a Emma Stone lookalike) interesting (kinda) metalhead. We talked for about 1h30 in the car. All I was thinking about was that I had to ask her about having a drink together tomorrow. And then she told me she was going to live in Spain for the next 3 years at least, to pursue her studies. That stopped me in my thoughts. I didn't ask her out, don't really know why. Never had the balls to do that physically anyway, + immediately thought of my only relationship, which was a LDR and a disaster. It was 5 hours ago and now I feel regretful. Should I have asked her out ?

you didn't have anything to lose by asking her out, but don't be bummed out that you didn't. it seems hard to find someone with similar interests that you are attracted to, but there are literally billions of people in the world and i'm sure there are other girls with the same interests that live in the same city as you.

[QUOTE=Digivee;52493316]Update on this. She asked me out. Couldn't really say no. Decided I'll take her to a gaming themed bar since she loves video games and beer. While I don't plan on getting physical with her, I have condoms ready. Should I trim/shave up my unmentionables, too, or just say fuck it?[/QUOTE] If you expect someone to put it in their mouth, trim/shave it. [editline]22nd July 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Eirheinger;52493680]Text[/QUOTE] You should do whatever you feel like. Don't read into it too much, there will be many others. Don't know if this is what you meant but yes, the reason she said she's moving to Spain might have been to show that she isn't interested but it could also mean the she was looking for a quick hook up. Or, it could of course also just be that she is moving to Spain and wanted to make small talk.

[QUOTE] You should do whatever you feel like. Don't read into it too much, there will be many others. Don't know if this is what you meant but yes, the reason she said she's moving to Spain might have been to show that she isn't interested but it could also mean the she was looking for a quick hook up. Or, it could of course also just be that she is moving to Spain and wanted to make small talk.[/QUOTE] I do think she's really going to Spain, she's got a spanish language degree, and is going there to graduate to the master diploma (which should take her about 2 years). This was making small talk, no doubt on that. I don't think there was a hidden message under this information, but for a moment I thought that this was not worth the trouble. After all, it would have needed me to finally be a man an ask something face to face. I didn't think at all about quick hook up. Honesty to me it something that happens to some people but will never happen to me. (By quick hook up I understood "let's find someone to fuck this weekend", is that it ?)

Man I am really good at talking to girls but am absolute trash at dancing. I should stop going to bars Is there a technique to bar dancing or are you just supposed to "get it"?

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;52495774]Man I am really good at talking to girls but am absolute trash at dancing. I should stop going to bars Is there a technique to bar dancing or are you just supposed to "get it"?[/QUOTE] ye its called alcohol

[QUOTE=Marzipas;52495804]ye its called alcohol[/QUOTE] The problem isn't me being too shy to dance, it's that I got no moves I dance all the time at bars and concerts and enjoy myself. But it's obvious from the looks I get that I look like a crazed lunatic trying his hardest to pass as a normal guy

i got with that girl that my friend had feelings for. when he found out he initially reacted angrily, but about a week later he was kind of chilling out. we arranged to hang in a group and just last night i was at a birthday party for him (shit was lit). basically everything turned out okay :) also we're official which is nice

[QUOTE=maeZtro;52495349]If you expect someone to put it in their mouth, trim/shave it. [editline]22nd July 2017[/editline] [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52493469]I like to trim up because it makes me personally feel good about myself. There's no harm in it (unless you cut something important).[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=DChapsfield;52493482]If you don't want to do the diddly at all then there's no point, no? Like renegade said though, it's a great feeling. Especially if you exfoliate. (always exfoliate)[/QUOTE] Thanks for the advice big boys. We went out, she got a bit tipsy, we played some mario games (two hours for 16 bucks, which was so cheap I was floored), had pizza, good times were had, all while I had some smooth criminals. Kinda beaned it at the end when I said goodbye, but the date was all in all pretty good :happy:

Hey guys, wanted to ask you a little thing. Its been a few weeks since i told my best friend that i got feelings for her and that i was sorry but i needed to get away for a while. She took it horrendously and called me fake, a bad person and a horny wank. After that she has contacted me several times trying to get me to stay friends and get back on talking. I have told her i need space for my own and tried to explain it to her in a million ways but she just doesn't get it. Last time she called me straight up a bad person for doing this and that it made it easy for her to forget about me. At this point, its making me real mad and frustrated about not being able to explain it, but i cant get to quit this show, like i feel i can maybe phrase it right but its impossible, like i havent gone through something like this where i just straight up CANT express myself, but i want out at this point. I know what i need to do but i wanted to ask you guys if you had gone through something like this and how did it go afterwards.

is there any sort of unwritten rule about dating siblings of friends? i feel like i hit it off pretty well with my friend's sister tonight and she is moving up here so i'd like to hang out with her more but i don't know how my friend would take it, haven't discussed it with him at all so i can't really get his side of it. he is fairly protective of her but we're good friends and i hope he won't be upset about it or anything, but i would still like an outsider's perspective of it, you know? [editline]23rd July 2017[/editline] i would say it is a little complicated because there is this other girl i enjoy hanging out with, but i only really see her as a friend so i don't feel like it should effect my feelings for this other girl

[QUOTE=autodesknoob;52498021]Hey guys, wanted to ask you a little thing. Its been a few weeks since i told my best friend that i got feelings for her and that i was sorry but i needed to get away for a while. She took it horrendously and called me fake, a bad person and a horny wank. After that she has contacted me several times trying to get me to stay friends and get back on talking. I have told her i need space for my own and tried to explain it to her in a million ways but she just doesn't get it. Last time she called me straight up a bad person for doing this and that it made it easy for her to forget about me. At this point, its making me real mad and frustrated about not being able to explain it, but i cant get to quit this show, like i feel i can maybe phrase it right but its impossible, like i havent gone through something like this where i just straight up CANT express myself, but i want out at this point. I know what i need to do but i wanted to ask you guys if you had gone through something like this and how did it go afterwards.[/QUOTE] The only time it happened to me, she's been really comprehensive, pure golden heart this girl. She wasn't quite my best friend though, I only knew her for half a year. If she don't understand your feelings and your choice, she probably isn't a good friend...

Damn, such a weird day yesterday. Tinder date picked me up, and went to the park. Then we went on a roadtrip and she suddenly started taking off her underwear while driving. We stopped by the road and she broke all my barriers, cars kept passing and I was freaking out. The rest is up to your imagination, god damn. Long night, that's for sure.

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;52498624]is there any sort of unwritten rule about dating siblings of friends? i feel like i hit it off pretty well with my friend's sister tonight and she is moving up here so i'd like to hang out with her more but i don't know how my friend would take it, haven't discussed it with him at all so i can't really get his side of it. he is fairly protective of her but we're good friends and i hope he won't be upset about it or anything, but i would still like an outsider's perspective of it, you know? [editline]23rd July 2017[/editline] i would say it is a little complicated because there is this other girl i enjoy hanging out with, but i only really see her as a friend so i don't feel like it should effect my feelings for this other girl[/QUOTE] My sister once dated a friend of mine for a month (not very long, admittedly), which felt a bit awkward. I wouldn't say it made me uncomfortable, but I didn't quite see him (or my sister for that matter) in the same way. It can definitely work, but it really depends on your friend in a way. Ultimately it doesn't matter how he feels, since you're dating his sister and not him, but if you want to keep him as a friend and it makes him uncomfortable that you're dating his sister, then I'd probably keep my hands off.

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;52495774]Man I am really good at talking to girls but am absolute trash at dancing. I should stop going to bars Is there a technique to bar dancing or are you just supposed to "get it"?[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Fit+at+a+club_9cb41b_5431915.png[/IMG] I mean if its just plain old club/pop music just bob and move to the beat. Its not like its swing or ballroom dancing is it? has anyone ever been called or heard the term bruiting? I was out with a friend the other night and she described me as that. I mean I'm the big, tall, silent/shy type that might look a little imitating but I've never heard that term before.

[QUOTE=Branflakes;52499102][IMG]http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Fit+at+a+club_9cb41b_5431915.png[/IMG] I mean if its just plain old club/pop music just bob and move to the beat. Its not like its swing or ballroom dancing is it? As anyone ever been called or heard the term bruiting? I was out with a friend the other night and she described me as that. I mean I'm the big, tall, silent/shy type that might look a little imitating but I've never heard that term before.[/QUOTE] i've never been tall.

[QUOTE=Branflakes;52499102][IMG]http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Fit+at+a+club_9cb41b_5431915.png[/IMG] I mean if its just plain old club/pop music just bob and move to the beat. Its not like its swing or ballroom dancing is it? As anyone ever been called or heard the term bruiting? I was out with a friend the other night and she described me as that. I mean I'm the big, tall, silent/shy type that might look a little imitating but I've never heard that term before.[/QUOTE] Lmao brooding It just means you're the strong silent type

So I've been in a long distance relationship for three weeks now and so far everything is going great, although we miss each other a lot. We video chat several times a week and text almost every day but because we are talking so much we sometimes run out of things to say. It's not a big problem and we are going to see each other again in two weeks, but do you guys have any tips for how we can keep in touch without this happening? The most obvious thing is to talk less, which I have talked to her about but we both have trouble just letting each other be for a day. Maybe it's because it's new and it will get better with time? I would also like to hear tips on having a long distance relationship in general if you have any. This is the first one I've ever been in and I'm head over heels for this woman.

[QUOTE=cis.joshb;52496917]i got with that girl that my friend had feelings for. when he found out he initially reacted angrily, but about a week later he was kind of chilling out. we arranged to hang in a group and just last night i was at a birthday party for him (shit was lit). basically everything turned out okay :) also we're official which is nice[/QUOTE] hey man thats good to hear. i dont see a problem with another friend's feelings getting in the way, if they arent going to do anything and you have feelings for the chick then its their loss. if they are your friend they should be able to get over it (which sounds like your mate did). a while ago a friend asked me if i liked her because she was dating my mate and he didnt want to go ahead with it if i was going to pursue her. she was like a real good friend, like a sister, someone who i just wouldn't have even thought about in that way, but years later i feel like a fucking moron for not seeing that she was into me. [editline]25th July 2017[/editline] story of my life so far though, i have 0% ability to read someone, i need people to be upfront with me and it ticks me off when they dance around the point hiding it behind fucking riddles.

Im a newcomer to this but I finished high school and I said that after high school id look for a relationship. So that being said, I need advice on where to start looking atleast. On highschool im only friends with like one or two girls but they all have boyfriends as far as I know and I think that using Tinder is gonna be still offlimits since im 17. Anyhow, thanks for reading and i appriciate any advice I can get.

[QUOTE=Nope guy;52504955]Im a newcomer to this but I finished high school and I said that after high school id look for a relationship. So that being said, I need advice on where to start looking atleast. On highschool im only friends with like one or two girls but they all have boyfriends as far as I know and I think that using Tinder is gonna be still offlimits since im 17. Anyhow, thanks for reading and i appriciate any advice I can get.[/QUOTE] Maybe those girl friends could have some advice themselves, or friends that might be interested in a relationship? Hanging out with friends and friends' friends can be a good way to see new faces, and could be interesting romantically provided those friends circle is diverse enough gender-wise.

[QUOTE=Nope guy;52504955]Im a newcomer to this but I finished high school and I said that after high school id look for a relationship. So that being said, I need advice on where to start looking atleast. On highschool im only friends with like one or two girls but they all have boyfriends as far as I know and I think that using Tinder is gonna be still offlimits since im 17. Anyhow, thanks for reading and i appriciate any advice I can get.[/QUOTE] Best advice you'll ever get- Don't look for a relationship. Never look for a SO, they will find you. Instead, focus on having fun and improving yourself in equal measure. Find your passion (cliche as hell, right?) and chase it, experiment with a bunch of shit. Work out and live healthy (but not too healthy). Not only love interests, but people in general LOVE it when you're passionate about something you love, and the self confidence you gain from being healthy will only compound that. That's what I've been focusing on for the past 6 months and tbh I'm having the time of my life (21). Really wish I would've been less worried about finding a woman than I was about finding myself when I was your age.

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;52505992]Best advice you'll ever get- Don't look for a relationship. Never look for a SO, they will find you. Instead, focus on having fun and improving yourself in equal measure. Find your passion (cliche as hell, right?) and chase it, experiment with a bunch of shit. Work out and live healthy (but not too healthy). Not only love interests, but people in general LOVE it when you're passionate about something you love, and the self confidence you gain from being healthy will only compound that. That's what I've been focusing on for the past 6 months and tbh I'm having the time of my life (21). Really wish I would've been less worried about finding a woman than I was about finding myself when I was your age.[/QUOTE] I have always in my life agreed with this, but I'll make the point that every year older I've gotten, the more isolated my life has become - not through general depression or anxiety, but just through things like full time work in a small department, living in a very isolating and unfriendly city, and so on. Nothing to be mad about, just general life circumstances. I'm not one for the whole meetup with a bunch of strangers scene either which doesn't work to my advantage. Statistically speaking, as people get older, men are significantly more likely to become socially isolated, so it's tough. At this point if I want to date / find an SO I usually just admit to myself I want some more connection in my life and sign up to a dating app. The world is sort of moving in that direction anyway. I think it's okay to admit you're looking for someone special in your life so long as you always ensure you retain a strong sense of the treatment you're willing to put up with, the boundaries you have in place, and a strong core of friends, hobbies and passions that round out your personality and make you a better person. It just so happens that in the majority of cases, particularly when you're young, 'not looking for an SO' generally gives you the sort of attitude that might put these conditions in place anyway

[QUOTE=The golden;52504897]This is one of the dangerous traps of long-distance relationships. Online communication is so incredibly easy that it makes you think that the person on the other end should constantly be available and you end up being up each others butts non-stop. "She [I]could [/I]be messaging me right now but she's not so she must be ignoring me" and other various ways of thinking are REALLY easy to fall into. It can turn toxic very quickly. In-person relationships are not like this because you give each other space and privacy but online people feel this desire to talk 24/7. Sorry if I'm rambling a bit as I'm half asleep. Either way, you need to work something out with her or it can get ugly very quickly.[/QUOTE] Thank you for your input but I don't think that's how it is, I trust her and I'm not worried at all if she isn't available to me and she seems really chill about it herself. She will go away on a camping trip soon anyway so we'll get some space from that at least. In other news, she invited me to her sisters wedding in two months so I guess I'll be flying over there for that. This relationship is moving along at rocket speed but it feels right with her so why not? :smile:

Had a couple of friends over. One of them, as a joke, marked that I was 'interested' in a festival that's coming up on Facebook and this girl I have a crush on commented that she's really glad I'm going, even though I wasn't really planning on going. I'm torn on what to do; it's just a music festival, I'd really only be going because of her but I don't think she's that in to me. Do you guys think I should cut my losses, go to the fest and just try to have fun with my friends? It's kinda pricey: 55 for the ticket, who knows how much for food and shit.

Honestly, just go. Don't be chained by the "maybes" or "what ifs". You might end up having a great time with that girl and you will thank yourself in the future.

some of y'all may remember that rough breakup i had about 2 weeks ago, i've still been feeling down so today about 20 of my friends on twitter tweeted out like "@bathtub is a good guy" and it made me cry i have such incredible and thoughtful friends

what is with it and girls never responding on tinder I gave her one of the best puns of her life, she responded which was a good sign and the message was positive, but now 2 days later still jack shit. Fuck everything [editline]26th July 2017[/editline] Sweet jesus only 30 minutes after I posted this she responded :poot:

[QUOTE=redBadger;52510822]what is with it and girls never responding on tinder I gave her one of the best puns of her life, she responded which was a good sign and the message was positive, but now 2 days later still jack shit. Fuck everything [editline]26th July 2017[/editline] Sweet jesus only 30 minutes after I posted this she responded :poot:[/QUOTE] Well, one of my Tinder-matches just stopped responding at all suddenly. Then, 3 MONTHS later she sent me a message saying "What you up to?" and the following events led into a (quite short) relationship. :v:

You guys got any tips to getting some decent pictures of oneself? I've been thinking about making a profile on a dating website, but I have no good pictures to use. Last good picture of myself is four years old. :v: I know selfies are always an opportunity, same with asking my friends, but I always feel awkward, extremely self conscious, and I'm anything but photogenic. Any tips or tricks would be appreciated.