Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=IAreLegend;52547992]a few months ago I removed my ex off everything, snapchat facebook etc. today I've got her and her boyfriend "waving" at me on facebook messenger :glare: it started with her boyfriend doing it out of nowhere, never spoke to him or seen him in my life, but I just ignored it. then she started doing it too, so I left if for a few minutes but then started typing out a message before erasing it without sending it, I feel I'm above this shit. then she messages me asking what I was typing, I've just deleted that too if they carry on is it perfectly understandable for me to tell them to fuck off? I want to be above this but it's really getting on my nerves, totally unecessary[/QUOTE] Block and ignore!

right on, I didn't respond and blocked them, I got bigger fish to fry

Sup y'all, this should go in the health thread but we don't have that anymore, so this is probably the next best thing. I'm always tired. and it's getting annoying. Doesn't matter if I go to bed at 11pm or 3 am, the next day I'll wake up, do my thing, and somewhere between 1 and 5 pm I'll need to lay down and close my eyes for an hour because if I don't I'll be exhausted. Anyone else had this problem, what can I do to fix it?

Could be because of an underlying sleep disorder or because of your diet. The former could include lack of restful sleep, regardless of how long you're sleeping. Or interruption of REM for some reason or another. You may have a form of insomnia without realizing it. The latter could be because you're not consuming the right types of food that give you lasting energy or you're just not eating enough throughout the day to contribute to that energy. Might wanna consult a doctor for the former. They can prescribe you a low dose sleeping aid to see if that helps. Otherwise, try to diversify your diet with healthier foods. Look up what can give you a boost in that 1-5pm time slot instead of making you want to sleep. And I don't mean coffee or energy drinks lol.

I've been recently sleeping very bad, I am not well rested at all, I wake up every hour to check email for job offers/responses, I am not too stressed about it consciously but I guess subconsciously I am stressed af (probably because I am in such a fucking debt pit already) and have no job. I got a call like an hour ago, one of 50 companies I was interviewed for hired me, so I can finally sleep well for once.

Is it weird to ask a mutual friend about someone you were interested in on tinder

[QUOTE=redBadger;52551608]Is it weird to ask a mutual friend about someone you were interested in on tinder[/QUOTE] I had this happen to me: (I was the mutual friend): tbh I didn't consider it weird nor I did rat out the person, I understand love and liking and stuff, I was very happy X liked my Y friend, I did not interfere because why? For me it feels like intruding into natural life cycle, so I didnt tell anyone about anything, yes I assisted him at it but nothing else). But then again, I guess it depends on person you ask...

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;52550780]Sup y'all, this should go in the health thread but we don't have that anymore, so this is probably the next best thing. I'm always tired. and it's getting annoying. Doesn't matter if I go to bed at 11pm or 3 am, the next day I'll wake up, do my thing, and somewhere between 1 and 5 pm I'll need to lay down and close my eyes for an hour because if I don't I'll be exhausted. Anyone else had this problem, what can I do to fix it?[/QUOTE] try using [url]http://sleepyti.me[/url]

while we're on the topic of sleep problems ive gone through spells of wanting to sleep for 10+ hours at a time and still feeling tired after i wake up it passes but waking up in the morning and feeling like shit isnt fun, might it have something to do with my sleep cycle getting fucked for long periods of time? i've had trouble falling asleep in the past and that lead to my sleep cycle getting flipped on its head on and off for at least 3-4 years

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;52550780]Sup y'all, this should go in the health thread but we don't have that anymore, so this is probably the next best thing. I'm always tired. and it's getting annoying. Doesn't matter if I go to bed at 11pm or 3 am, the next day I'll wake up, do my thing, and somewhere between 1 and 5 pm I'll need to lay down and close my eyes for an hour because if I don't I'll be exhausted. Anyone else had this problem, what can I do to fix it?[/QUOTE] I would consider visiting your GP, and looking into your diet. I used to be exhausted constantly, I would sleep solidly for 12 hours and then nap throughout the day. I got sent for blood tests and it turns out I have a vitamin B-12 deficiency. Now I get monthly injections and at first they did fuck all but now I can really feel the difference. Other causes of tiredness can be lack of iron in your diet. And it is possible to over sleep, causing you to feel tired when you are not. Hopefully you start feeling better soon, I really feel your pain.

Hey people! I've lurked this thread for a few years but I've never really had any challenges that I thought were worthy of a post here. However, now I do. I'll make it short - I ended college a few years ago and I've been studying at university ever since. I still have contact to most of my college friends and we still hang out every now and then. One of my college friends has always been a bit provocative and has always had terrible situational awareness. He's otherwise cool but the lack of situational awareness sometimes killed the mood. Fast forward to Christmas time last year - I was chatting with a girl during a party and we decided to talk on Facebook the day after. However, she did not seem interested so I let that be it. However, that exact college friend with a lack of situational awareness has begun hanging out with her, and now every time the conversation pops up, he brags to everyone about how I couldn't get with her because I was rejected and that he's "now hanging out with the girl that -he- couldn't get". I can't figure out if it's his lack of social awareness that just kills it because everyone's tired of his shit. I talked to a few of my other friends and they're all thinking the same as I am. I told him to cut it out yesterday because I was incredibly tired of his shit and he just told me "oh, so you're turning the conversation into something about you again. Now we know the real you." I decided to tell him that I didn't want to talk to him anymore and now he's playing it off like it was all some big joke that I didn't get. He's even sending me happy pictures of me and him partying just at random. I simply do not get it. Anyway, my question is - was I the one being an ass here by not just accepting his -sort of- apology? I'm so confused on this matter anyway but I've decided not to respond to any more of his messages as it just makes matters worse. Thank you all for reading.

I think you were justified. He can claim it was acting all he wants, but if that's the case, he should take it down a notch. If he acts like an arse, he should be prepared for people to become tired of it.

[QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;52554161]I think you were justified. He can claim it was acting all he wants, but if that's the case, he should take it down a notch. If he acts like an arse, he should be prepared for people to become tired of it.[/QUOTE] Yeah, that's really what I felt as well. I'll let it all steam off and see where that brings me. He has just always been like this so I really don't think it will change.

I think I've asked this before, but are there any socially acceptable ways to actually meet women if you're starting from nothing? My social circle is a closed loop (all dudes and we don't have any friends outside of each other), I'm not in any schooling, and dating/making more-than-work-friends with coworkers always seemed like a bad idea to me.

[QUOTE=Ardosos;52563295]I think I've asked this before, but are there any socially acceptable ways to actually meet women if you're starting from nothing? My social circle is a closed loop (all dudes and we don't have any friends outside of each other), I'm not in any schooling, and dating/making more-than-work-friends with coworkers always seemed like a bad idea to me.[/QUOTE] It really depends on how you want to meet people, online or the more 'traditional' way. This might sound kinda cliche, but if you have any hobbies, dive deeper into them in the real world. If you love art, go to craft fairs or art galleries; if you love books/history, go to libraries/museums; if you love games/movies/comics/anime, go to conventions- whatever it is that you're passionate about, go somewhere that other people will be equally passionate about those things. And don't go to those places with your friends or with the intention of meeting women. Go there to meet all sorts of people, if your friend group is a closed circle, you have to open up yourself to the world. If you bring your friends, you're more likely to use them as a crutch- if you go alone, you'll have to force yourself to make acquaintances with other people. You can even do some of that online- joining facebook groups or commenting on fanpages for stuff you like. A few of my friends from back in high school met a lot of their new friends by running small fan pages and interacting with others in the comment sections constantly.

[QUOTE=Ardosos;52563295]I think I've asked this before, but are there any socially acceptable ways to actually meet women if you're starting from nothing? My social circle is a closed loop (all dudes and we don't have any friends outside of each other), I'm not in any schooling, and dating/making more-than-work-friends with coworkers always seemed like a bad idea to me.[/QUOTE] I haven't ever tried it, but apparently online dating is the second most common way to meet someone (after being introduced to someone by mutual friends), so it might be your best bet. But I can understand if you wanted to meet someone in a more traditional way.

So my girlfriend of coming up on three years just broke it off and I've got no idea how to process it. She just said she's started seeing me as more of a friend, which I can only understand as boiling to to her getting bored. It's been stressed since moving to Japan because we've had to live apart, despite living together before that, and I want that to be the root cause because I can understand that, but at the same time there was zero alternative. So now I'm stuck in a country I loathe that I only moved to because I wanted to be with her, having had my self esteem ruined by constantly being rejected for jobs, I owe my parents a couple of grand, and feel like I've just been dropped in the bin

Hi everyone, Posting this from an alt because I know people IRL who use this site. Recently over the last couple weeks I've been talking to this girl. We've known each other for a while but never talked. We both share a lot of interests and personality traits and I think I'd really like to make our relationship mean something to both of us. The issue is though that this situation is completely foreign to me. I am usually the one to initiate the conversation and I'm scared that our feelings aren't mutual. We talk over snapchat but rarely in person due to the way school works. I really, really like her but Im afraid of rejection. Even if our relationship doesn't advance any more than it has I still want her as a friend and Im afraid making a move will ruin that for me. I really don't know what to do here, Facepunch. I plan on asking them out to lunch sometime in the upcoming school holidays but I don't know if I want to take this risk. I really, really enjoy their company, I don't want to lose a friend like this.

[QUOTE=Altofmine;52564665]Hi everyone, Posting this from an alt because I know people IRL who use this site. Recently over the last couple weeks I've been talking to this girl. We've known each other for a while but never talked. We both share a lot of interests and personality traits and I think I'd really like to make our relationship mean something to both of us. The issue is though that this situation is completely foreign to me. I am usually the one to initiate the conversation and I'm scared that our feelings aren't mutual. We talk over snapchat but rarely in person due to the way school works. I really, really like her but Im afraid of rejection. Even if our relationship doesn't advance any more than it has I still want her as a friend and Im afraid making a move will ruin that for me. I really don't know what to do here, Facepunch. I plan on asking them out to lunch sometime in the upcoming school holidays but I don't know if I want to take this risk. I really, really enjoy their company, I don't want to lose a friend like this.[/QUOTE] Just give her a hint send her hearts . Ask her if she has some feelings for you, or just tell her honestly it is ok that if she doesn't have special feelings for you, you guys still can be good friends. Girls like honest guys:)

[QUOTE=Altofmine;52564665]Hi everyone, Posting this from an alt because I know people IRL who use this site. Recently over the last couple weeks I've been talking to this girl. We've known each other for a while but never talked. We both share a lot of interests and personality traits and I think I'd really like to make our relationship mean something to both of us. The issue is though that this situation is completely foreign to me. I am usually the one to initiate the conversation and I'm scared that our feelings aren't mutual. We talk over snapchat but rarely in person due to the way school works. I really, really like her but Im afraid of rejection. Even if our relationship doesn't advance any more than it has I still want her as a friend and Im afraid making a move will ruin that for me. I really don't know what to do here, Facepunch. I plan on asking them out to lunch sometime in the upcoming school holidays but I don't know if I want to take this risk. I really, really enjoy their company, I don't want to lose a friend like this.[/QUOTE] Do you think you could continue being their friend without ever needing more? If not, just ask her out dude.

[QUOTE=Sgt-NiallR;52564135]So my girlfriend of coming up on three years just broke it off and I've got no idea how to process it. She just said she's started seeing me as more of a friend, which I can only understand as boiling to to her getting bored. It's been stressed since moving to Japan because we've had to live apart, despite living together before that, and I want that to be the root cause because I can understand that, but at the same time there was zero alternative. So now I'm stuck in a country I loathe that I only moved to because I wanted to be with her, having had my self esteem ruined by constantly being rejected for jobs, I owe my parents a couple of grand, and feel like I've just been dropped in the bin[/QUOTE] I'm sorry to say this mate but she is an absolute cunt to do this to you, it fascinates me that she feels no remorse at all.

[QUOTE=GoDong-DK;52565923]Do you think you could continue being their friend without ever needing more? If not, just ask her out dude.[/QUOTE] It would be rough, but I think it would be possible. I'm going to give it time. We've only just really starting talking and I think we're catching on as good friends. I have a plan to ask them out at a later date, sooner if a more convenient opportunity arises, just to lunch, we'll see how things go.

A very close friend of mine developed feelings for me over the last few months and then admitted it to me, and when I told her that I didn't feel the same way and that I was sorry, she decided to cut me off. Ah. I really miss her.

[QUOTE=OrkO;52567303]A very close friend of mine developed feelings for me over the last few months and then admitted it to me, and when I told her that I didn't feel the same way and that I was sorry, she decided to cut me off. Ah. I really miss her.[/QUOTE] Give her time she probably needs to regain confidence or just might feel really embarrassed about it.

[QUOTE=TheKingofBees;52567408]Give her time she probably needs to regain confidence or just might feel really embarrassed about it.[/QUOTE] You may be right, but my guess is that she isn't embarrassed. She told me that she is lonely and tired of unrequited feelings, and that hanging out with me but not dating me is hard to do. I don't blame her - I've certainly experienced the same feeling before.

[QUOTE=Akri;52566030]I'm sorry to say this mate but she is an absolute cunt to do this to you, it fascinates me that she feels no remorse at all.[/QUOTE] I do think she feels remorse, but the difference is that she started feeling differently around a month ago (so she says), and had come to terms with it by the time she dropped the bombshell. What really bewilders me, though, is that on Thursday, literally the day before this all kicked off, we had a good day. Went to a theme park, went to a love hotel, spent too much money, boned. I feel like I'm coping okay though. I feel kinda woozy and unmotivated, but that's how I've always felt whilst stuck at my place without anything to do; I do lack the daily skype call to look forward to, but that only lasted an hour or so. :why:

[QUOTE=Altofmine;52567164]It would be rough, but I think it would be possible. I'm going to give it time. We've only just really starting talking and I think we're catching on as good friends. I have a plan to ask them out at a later date, sooner if a more convenient opportunity arises, just to lunch, we'll see how things go.[/QUOTE] I asked them out for an evening coming up, more or less. It's a strange situation. It's a yes.

[QUOTE=Altofmine;52567970]I asked them out for an evening coming up, more or less. It's a strange situation. It's a yes.[/QUOTE] Well, that gets rid of the potential issues then! Worst case scenario you can go back to being friends without any awkwardness, since it was a mutual feeling.

[QUOTE=_Axel;52568018]Well, that gets rid of the potential issues then! Worst case scenario you can go back to being friends without any awkwardness, since it was a mutual feeling.[/QUOTE] It's a strange situation, I'll explain tomorrow when I have time though.

[QUOTE=Milksprain;52570800]Do you have any hobbies or anything you can do to take your mind off of things? I went through a very brief breakup in July. As long as I was doing something - be it going to the library, talking with my parents, drawing, etc., I coped quite well. As soon as I sat down and did nothing, all the feelings came and completely overwhelmed me.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I've got some video games and a few series to catch up on. I'm heading home to Blighty in early October, so I've got that to look forward to, and I do have a little work to do once or twice a week to keep me busy when Obon finishes here in Japan.