Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts.
5,003 replies, posted
So, I'm starting a second degree via distance learning (official state Uni tho, so not shoddy diploma mill), learning a 4th language, and giving private lessons to teenagers, all while preparing state exams for being a public high school teacher. I feel really good about the person I'm building myself to be.
However, whenever I have any small emotional hiccups, [url=https://i.imgur.com/hyjTS1U.jpg]I basically turn into this.[/url] And I'm aware and afraid of that turning away friends, despite them actually counting on me and being supportive. So I end up in a weird state of social anxiety where if I'm alone with somebody else I overthink stuff, thinking I'm being a bore or pedantic, and end up feeling I'm being artificial, as I'm trying to not get in the way (despite people actively seeking me out), and overly thankful of any display of friendship.
Guess I need to relax and unwind.
[QUOTE=hakimhakim;52738147]I see.
Didnt you feel more connected to nature? Feels the wind? Breath of fresh air? With the scenery just scrolling by?
On contrary, nowdays I got dizzy in a car lol.[/QUOTE]
It's hit or miss - when I was riding some girls were down with it (but that probably had to do with the fact that it was a vintage Enfield Bullet and they dug it) but there were a lot that were absolutely terrified that the two of us were going to be future Liveleak material, so....yeah.
Ask them and they're down with it, by all means go for it - otherwise, just don't.
[editline]2nd October 2017[/editline]
[QUOTE=Bathtub;52738344]bumpity bump[/QUOTE]
Yes, but it's kinda important they love you too otherwise it's a bit pointless. You reaaaaallly don't want to be in a one-sided relationship where either one of you is the "expendable" one. Nothing kills your self-esteem faster than discovering which of you was the expendable one after that relationship runs its course.
[QUOTE=snookypookums;52740077]It's hit or miss - when I was riding some girls were down with it (but that probably had to do with the fact that it was a vintage Enfield Bullet and they dug it) but there were a lot that were absolutely terrified that the two of us were going to be future Liveleak material, so....yeah.
Ask them and they're down with it, by all means go for it - otherwise, just don't.
[editline]2nd October 2017[/editline]
Yes, but it's kinda important they love you too otherwise it's a bit pointless. You reaaaaallly don't want to be in a one-sided relationship where either one of you is the "expendable" one. Nothing kills your self-esteem faster than discovering which of you was the expendable one after that relationship runs its course.[/QUOTE]
you're right. i guess i won't know if she will love me if i don't take the time to find out, yknow
it just sucks being the one that "cares" more per se, but I can't resent her for not feeling that way yet cause i got there fairly fast after like 3 months
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;52739284]There's not really anything to do where I live. There's a college and university here so there's loads of people in their early to mid 20s, plus without taking students who don't permanently live here into account the population of the city is approaching 100k. But there's still not much to do here.
It's also really hard to be more interesting when every "interesting" hobby is too expensive for me. I'm an unemployed university student. Plus I have no clue what girls find interesting. If I talk about my passions I just feel their eyes glaze over.[/QUOTE]
Take pictures and learn a little photography - you'd be amazed at the quality of cellphone cameras these days and how far they can go to help you learn basic shot composition and photography techniques without even having to break the bank. Hell, it might even open up your options to actually exploring it as a serious hobby when you [I]do[/I] have money.
Look up cool sights to see in your town, take your camera, take pictures and put them up somewhere like instagram and make it a habit to document your travels. You can even do something my friend did (because he's a cheeky feller) and asked random girls if they'd like to help him with his "Faces of X" project where he got to talk to them about random stuff, took their picture and put them up on his instagram. Dude ended up dating a few of them, too, so there's that. :v:
[QUOTE=gtanoofa;52734555]This chick on tumblr added me and keeps hitting on me. She didn't even ask me if i am into girls(i'm not) and just casually started hitting on me to which i was just passive towards. She keeps telling me to like go to her place and do stuff and i just can't find the courage to tell her to stop. Now that i told her i'm only into guys she sent my profile pic from my tumblr blog to this guy without my consent. :speechless: Should i just block her? I always have this issue where i'm too scared to say no and it ends up with me feeling really violated and gross.[/QUOTE]
at the risk of sounding like an asshole, some internet rando adds you on tumblr, and you don't really like how they are, but you needed other people to tell you to block them despite the fact you wanted to block them but felt too scared to do it? when it comes to internet strangers, it's super easy to ignore them or block them if they're annoying, there's literally zero potential for backlash or future awkwardness. i remember getting on discord with a facepuncher a few years back cause we were gonna play a game together, and then i ended up telling him it wasn't for me cause he wasn't really talkative, which made it awkward and it wasn't fun, and then i bounced. he sent me a few angry pms but i'm not about to sit there for a few hours playing a game with someone who has the emotional range of a potato.
it's someone you don't even know, right (isn't tumblr just all anonymous or am i out of touch with that website)? i'd understand it being awkward or feeling like you can't block them if they were someone you regularly saw in real life, but tumblr? life's a bit of a shitheap, it'll probably be better for you to get over the mental block you have on saying no sooner rather than later.
[QUOTE=Bathtub;52740095]you're right. i guess i won't know if she will love me if i don't take the time to find out, yknow
it just sucks being the one that "cares" more per se, but I can't resent her for not feeling that way yet cause i got there fairly fast after like 3 months[/QUOTE]
There'll always be someone in the relationship who quantifiably cares "more" about their partner. The secret to a successful relationship is for both of you [I]to want to be that person[/I].
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;52739284]There's not really anything to do where I live. There's a college and university here so there's loads of people in their early to mid 20s, plus without taking students who don't permanently live here into account the population of the city is approaching 100k. But there's still not much to do here.
It's also really hard to be more interesting when every "interesting" hobby is too expensive for me. I'm an unemployed university student. Plus I have no clue what girls find interesting. If I talk about my passions I just feel their eyes glaze over.[/QUOTE]
Want to do something that's completely free AND will get you a good tight body?
Parkour!
That shit is fun, and literally the only thing that's going to keep you from doing it (because you can do it even if you're overweight) is if your body is completely incapable of using your extremites.
Make a list.
What are some traits you find interesting?
Some other questions;
Do you have any income?
What do you do during the day?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you've got a computer. Do you like music? Drawings? With a computer, and internet access you have the world of art at your fingertips and... There's free stuff out there for your needs when it comes to making music or art. Legal as well.
I've been feeling pretty depressed quite often recently. I was dating a girl, she ended things, and then when school started she felt too awkward and uncomfortable to talk to me or be around me. Normally whatever except we were really good friends, she said she still wanted to be friends multiple times, we have the same group of friends, we have a few classes together this semester, we would hang out all the time in school with our mutual friends. She's been getting better and we're talking a bit now and she's not avoiding me as much but it's not the same as it was.
So most every time we're together for class or hanging out with mutual friends I just leave feeling really fucking depressed. She was such a good friend before, really opened me up out of my shell. She just has a way of talking and involving people, except now that she's still avoiding talking to me a bit I feel like I get kind of left out since she really gets everyone else involved except me. I feel like an outsider even with my own friends. I may just be looking at things with a bit of bias (idk if I'm totally over things anymore, I thought I was but now I don't know anymore) but it just leaves me so depressed sometimes. It's so difficult and I just want this shit to end, to go back to how things were before. I feel so stupid for ever getting involved with her, it's just caused me so much pain, I wish we had just stayed friends.
This has been dragging me down a lot. Idk what to do besides just suck it up and try to pull through though.
Sorry for the vent, I'm pretty overwhelmed and need to get that off my chest, hope that's okay here
[QUOTE=Pelf;52740532]I've been feeling pretty depressed quite often recently. I was dating a girl, she ended things, and then when school started she felt too awkward and uncomfortable to talk to me or be around me. Normally whatever except we were really good friends, she said she still wanted to be friends multiple times, we have the same group of friends, we have a few classes together this semester, we would hang out all the time in school with our mutual friends. She's been getting better and we're talking a bit now and she's not avoiding me as much but it's not the same as it was.
So most every time we're together for class or hanging out with mutual friends I just leave feeling really fucking depressed. She was such a good friend before, really opened me up out of my shell. She just has a way of talking and involving people, except now that she's still avoiding talking to me a bit I feel like I get kind of left out since she really gets everyone else involved except me. I feel like an outsider even with my own friends. I may just be looking at things with a bit of bias (idk if I'm totally over things anymore, I thought I was but now I don't know anymore) but it just leaves me so depressed sometimes. It's so difficult and I just want this shit to end, to go back to how things were before. I feel so stupid for ever getting involved with her, it's just caused me so much pain, I wish we had just stayed friends.
This has been dragging me down a lot. Idk what to do besides just suck it up and try to pull through though.
Sorry for the vent, I'm pretty overwhelmed and need to get that off my chest, hope that's okay here[/QUOTE]
As much as you hope there's something you can do, there isn't. like you said you have to suck it up and get through it (You will get through it), chin up and you'll move on. Don't regret dating people, I'm sure you had some good experiences and maybe you'll even learn from it.
So uh, I haven't posted in a while but Im in quite a difficult dituation. I'll try to be brief. For context, I'm in the same group of friends as B, and we all go to the same university.
7 months ago I was with B, things were kind of declining, and she started with some "Prove that you care for me" stuff trating me badly to see if I "actually cared about her". So I decided to end it because I wasn't hacing any of that. B doesn't like this, and on a daily basis she insists on talking with me, asking for chances and telling me how she feels. I refuse and (maybe a mistake right here) support her, but she keeps insisting and I end up accepting her 'talks' evry single time (big mistake). At that time, I just couldn't live with making someone feel so bad, and I wanted things to be better for her,m. After every talk I had hopes of being good friends again, but the hopes died every time because she insulted me and accused me of things on a almost daily basis.
Two months later and I'm starting to feel things my friend C. She said a month before that that she had feelings for me so I go for it. We start dating. But this dynamic with B keeps getting worse and worse. I start doubting myself, thinking that I'm selfish and that I'm incapabld of doing things for others. This affects me deeply for months. C is very supoortive and understanding.
I end up blocking her from everything and tajke a break of B during winter break. I gather my thoughts and I'm able to overcome this phase of constant doubt, also thanks to C's support. But when the break ends, ut gets worse. B now follows me, interrupts me when I'm busy, when I'm with C, and when I'm with our group of friends, all to 'talk'. These talks get worse and worse, to the point of getting a bit physica (Nothihg myjor, she hit me with her finger, like agressively pointing (?)). I get scared, C is a bit scared too, and I begin to fear seeing her. I started to feel unsafe in my own university. I try to move on, and somehow got B off me for a few weeks.
B then starts making snarky comments to me when we are with our friends. I confront her, she refuses to do change anything and says I have to "suck it up". I get sick of her and start to hang out with the group a lot less. I forgot to block her again after this.
A couple of weeks later, she starts to message me asking me to block her. A lot. I was busy so I didn't reply. 6 calls and about 200 unanswerwd messages later, all very toxic and aggressive, I tell her to get some dignity, and then I go to sleep. The next day I wake up to 50 more messages from her. This is where ir gets even more fucked up. She somehow knows a lot about my relationship with C, and accused me of cheating ln her with C when I was with her. This is of course something I had denied a thousand times in the past. Then she starts messing with C: accuses her of cheting on someone with me when we started to be together (!) and then accuses her of cheating on me now (!!!). All on thise messages. I block her for good and delete her number.
But I was scared, to the point of feeling very sick and of starting to tremble, and had a similar experience in the past where the allegation turned out to ne true. So I talk things with C, explained her how I heard that, and who said it. C says that it's a lie, and she has no idea where B could have gotten that from. C's words were pretty honest, so I absolutely believe he, but C was affected by this accusatiobr. So yeah, B tried to fuck with my very happy relationship accusing someone who has nothing to do with her of cheating. I feel so angry with her, I think about all of this almost constantly, and I can't seem to get over it, and ir makes me feel so sick. C also feels very angry and hurt by B. I don't know how can we overcome all of this, we have talked a lot abput this, and habe decided that it's not a good idea to confront B. But I don't know, I can't stand being near B anymore, I'm starting to feel alienated from the group of friends. I'm losing motivation to do things, and I'm constantly afraid of bumping with B, as she might try something else, or say more huetful things. I feel very creeped out and scared. Should I let things settle and avoid her as best as I can? How can I support C, since she's very affected too? I'm sorry, it ended up being a wall of text.
[QUOTE=Lebofly;52740918]Broken keyboard?[/QUOTE]
Phone and late night typing
my new roommate keeps eating my food and using my pots and pans then not washing them
unfortunately I probably won't do anything about it because I'm spineless and let people walk all over me at will
also I can't understand him through his accent
My conflict mediation skills are absolute trash.
[QUOTE=AtomicSans;52740958]my new roommate keeps eating my food and using my pots and pans then not washing them
unfortunately I probably won't do anything about it because I'm spineless and let people walk all over me at will
also I can't understand him through his accent
My conflict mediation skills are absolute trash.[/QUOTE]
Kill him in his sleep
[QUOTE=Lebofly;52740990]Kill him in his sleep[/QUOTE]
This is a completely sane and rational thing to do.
But you might want to try and write down your argument first before hand and take your time in explaining your issues so that you don't mess it up
Perhaps organise a schedule for cleaning?
[QUOTE=AtomicSans;52740958]my new roommate keeps eating my food and using my pots and pans then not washing them
unfortunately I probably won't do anything about it because I'm spineless and let people walk all over me at will
also I can't understand him through his accent
My conflict mediation skills are absolute trash.[/QUOTE]
the least he could do if he uses your equipment is clean it once he's done, its only fair that if you make it dirty then you should have to wash it.
[QUOTE=AtomicSans;52740958]my new roommate keeps eating my food and using my pots and pans then not washing them
unfortunately I probably won't do anything about it because I'm spineless and let people walk all over me at will
also I can't understand him through his accent
My conflict mediation skills are absolute trash.[/QUOTE]
Until recently (like a little over a year ago) I let people walk over me too. I come from a pretty silent family and my father is scared of conflicts so naturally I would avoid them too. Once I started speaking up for myself my life changed drastically as I realized that the root of almost all interpersonal problems I had was due to poor communication. While it might seem frightening to do at first, it will grow on you and you will start doing it without thinking.
Just go to him and tell him to wash your stuff or leave them the fuck alone. Or you could be gentle at first but if the stuff is dirty right now and he doesn't go clean it the minute after you speak to him then tell him to go clean it. Nothing he's doing is more important at the moment.
[editline]3rd October 2017[/editline]
Wait WTF that asshole is eating your food? Go tear him a new one boyo!
[QUOTE=AtomicSans;52740958]my new roommate keeps eating my food and using my pots and pans then not washing them
unfortunately I probably won't do anything about it because I'm spineless and let people walk all over me at will
also I can't understand him through his accent
My conflict mediation skills are absolute trash.[/QUOTE]
become a worse cook, make sure all your food has salmonella, he'll get food poisoning from eating your food.
result- he wont steal your food again
[QUOTE=AtomicSans;52740958]my new roommate keeps eating my food and using my pots and pans then not washing them
unfortunately I probably won't do anything about it because I'm spineless and let people walk all over me at will
also I can't understand him through his accent
My conflict mediation skills are absolute trash.[/QUOTE]
Just put some laxitives in your food and hog the bathroom, that'll show him
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;52741368]Just put some laxitives in your food and hog the bathroom, that'll show him[/QUOTE]
Congratulations, he has now shat on the sofa, now making everything worse.
[QUOTE=gtanoofa;52740965]I’m way too submissive as an individual to say no to others. That’s just how I am. I don’t really consider you an ass, no. I’m almost 24 years old. I’ve been through military service. I have been in situations where something bad was going on and I wanted it to stop but it didn’t. I shut down when someone is doing something I don’t want to and don’t even outright say no if they go over my boundaries and ask me if it’s okay. It’s just how I am and I can’t change it.[/QUOTE]
seems like a limp excuse, people can change. you may have tried to change in the past but found it difficult, that doesn't mean it's impossible.
reminds me of that quote "man is both the marble and the sculptor". shaping who you want to be as a person isn't a cakewalk, but I'd rather go through the difficulty of changing myself, than to live a life where internet strangers can affect me so badly that I wake up dizzy in the mornings.
[editline]3rd October 2017[/editline]
[QUOTE=Kabstrac;52740237]Agreed, and also that's funny you mention that dude you played with. Same thing happened to me a couple weeks ago, and after one session I was like "ah fuck this" and then just severed ties.[/QUOTE]
he had an anime avatar but i was like "don't judge a book by it's cover" but then he was super awkward and just not very fun and 90% of the time just mumbled or outright didn't reply, so I was like "fuck this noise" and told him it wasn't fun and I'd rather just play solo or with someone who's a tad bit more compatible.
he got super annoyed with me but i'm not gonna ruin my own enjoyment just to be polite to someone i don't even know.
[QUOTE=AtomicSans;52740958]my new roommate keeps eating my food and using my pots and pans then not washing them
unfortunately I probably won't do anything about it because I'm spineless and let people walk all over me at will
also I can't understand him through his accent
My conflict mediation skills are absolute trash.[/QUOTE]
Hide your pots
Then he'll come and ask you where your pot is
Take it out, give it to him, but not before telling him to wash it after.
Then he will probably wash them
Stuff like that is why I am terrified of the thought of roommates and would rather get a second job than be forced to share rent with a near stranger.
[QUOTE=Trekintosh;52741649]Stuff like that is why I am terrified of the thought of roommates and would rather get a second job than be forced to share rent with a near stranger.[/QUOTE]
It's luck of the draw - I've had some shitty roommates, but I've had some great ones too who've taken me to the hospital when I fell sick or dropped me off at the airport because they had a car and they wanted to.
Just two main rules : Try not to have your best mate as a roomie and if your roomie is a girl, do not sleep with her. Otherwise, just respect each others boundaries, set rules you can both agree to and you're golden. The first sign of lapses needs nipping in the bud, failing which it's either time to kick said person out or move on yourself.
[QUOTE=Cosa8888;52740811]relationship algebra[/QUOTE]
B sounds like a super toxic and emotionally abusive person. With these kinds of people distancing yourself will only make them 10x worse; it's best to just cut them off completely. Trying to sabotage your relationship and happiness is grounds enough to break contact. She obviously doesn't give a shit about your feelings so why should you care for hers?
So. A year ago I met this girl. We certainly clicked but in a confusing way since she's this really hippy kind of girl and I am usually not like that. Anyway I have to travel a lot for work and she's living on the other side of the country, so we only met up like every few months when she was moving around (she travels a lot, mostly hitchhiking)nor when I was close and each time I fell more and more in love with her. When we were not seeing each other, we would tect at least once or twice a week, even when I was on the other side of the world for work in the middle of the amazonas jungle.
Until a few months ago when I realized that I am in full blow crush mode.
Now. She has a sort of ex. They traveled around the world for 3 years together and during that time they both developed this sort of open relationship, both having other partners. I didn't kow this.
For me it was nice to have that feeling for her but I also knew that I couldn't be with her as long as the other guy is still around.
Nooow. She slowly revealed that they had problems as well. And it felt like she was...well she was visiting me in the town I live in, giving me the looks, touching, all of that stuff.
Until 3 months ago when she was about to leave to a psytrance festival. Since we talk on the phone a lot I phoned her to wish her a good time and all of that jazz. And as usual when we are on the phone, the planned 5 minutes of talk extended to 1.5 hours..
Anyway, 1 day later just before she's about to leave she texts me that she feels like something is between us that needs to be spoken out.
Since I knew that the other dude would be there and that we wouldn't see each other for at least 2 months... I called her and basically told her that I was in love with her.
She was flattered but in the end her message was basically that she kind of moved away from the classic "falling in love with a single guy" thing since there are so many other guys that she also found beautiful and that she ALSO sometimes falls in love with, without loving me any less.
Well I guess it's this hippy free love thing.
2 months later I visited her. For 5 whole days. Five beautiful, exciting, painful, wonderful, colorful, very intimate(not in terms of sex), very ..emotional days.
Since she travels so much she still lives with her parents and I was staying in the home and town she grew up in. She showed me so many very intimate things.
Yet we didn't get...physical. Flirty, close, small body contacts, hidden looks during dinner with her family(what a fucking weird situation) but not the end...
Now I am here diving deeper and deeper into the "damn I should have tried to kiss her anyway no matter what happens afterwards" thought and getting more and more miserable.
The whole situation screams "leave her, forget her, it's unhealthy!"
Yet the first thing I think about in the morning is her and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep is her and I am still so very thankful that she likes me because the ways she makes the world more colorful when she's around has also changed me and made me a more positive man.
Yet these thoughts "what if you've made a move!?" are still haunting me.
And at the same time I feel selfish for thinking like that. She's got some other stuff going on(job and so on) that makes her very very very happy and I feel like I don't have the right to interfere with her and to wish for her to be with me instead, it's her life after all..
I guess I just needed someone to tell this to or something...
[QUOTE=Cosa8888;52740811]So uh, I haven't posted in a while but Im in quite a difficult dituation. I'll try to be brief. For context, I'm in the same group of friends as B, and we all go to the same university.
7 months ago I was with B, things were kind of declining, and she started with some "Prove that you care for me" stuff trating me badly to see if I "actually cared about her". So I decided to end it because I wasn't hacing any of that. B doesn't like this, and on a daily basis she insists on talking with me, asking for chances and telling me how she feels. I refuse and (maybe a mistake right here) support her, but she keeps insisting and I end up accepting her 'talks' evry single time (big mistake). At that time, I just couldn't live with making someone feel so bad, and I wanted things to be better for her,m. After every talk I had hopes of being good friends again, but the hopes died every time because she insulted me and accused me of things on a almost daily basis.
Two months later and I'm starting to feel things my friend C. She said a month before that that she had feelings for me so I go for it. We start dating. But this dynamic with B keeps getting worse and worse. I start doubting myself, thinking that I'm selfish and that I'm incapabld of doing things for others. This affects me deeply for months. C is very supoortive and understanding.
I end up blocking her from everything and tajke a break of B during winter break. I gather my thoughts and I'm able to overcome this phase of constant doubt, also thanks to C's support. But when the break ends, ut gets worse. B now follows me, interrupts me when I'm busy, when I'm with C, and when I'm with our group of friends, all to 'talk'. These talks get worse and worse, to the point of getting a bit physica (Nothihg myjor, she hit me with her finger, like agressively pointing (?)). I get scared, C is a bit scared too, and I begin to fear seeing her. I started to feel unsafe in my own university. I try to move on, and somehow got B off me for a few weeks.
B then starts making snarky comments to me when we are with our friends. I confront her, she refuses to do change anything and says I have to "suck it up". I get sick of her and start to hang out with the group a lot less. I forgot to block her again after this.
A couple of weeks later, she starts to message me asking me to block her. A lot. I was busy so I didn't reply. 6 calls and about 200 unanswerwd messages later, all very toxic and aggressive, I tell her to get some dignity, and then I go to sleep. The next day I wake up to 50 more messages from her. This is where ir gets even more fucked up. She somehow knows a lot about my relationship with C, and accused me of cheating ln her with C when I was with her. This is of course something I had denied a thousand times in the past. Then she starts messing with C: accuses her of cheting on someone with me when we started to be together (!) and then accuses her of cheating on me now (!!!). All on thise messages. I block her for good and delete her number.
But I was scared, to the point of feeling very sick and of starting to tremble, and had a similar experience in the past where the allegation turned out to ne true. So I talk things with C, explained her how I heard that, and who said it. C says that it's a lie, and she has no idea where B could have gotten that from. C's words were pretty honest, so I absolutely believe he, but C was affected by this accusatiobr. So yeah, B tried to fuck with my very happy relationship accusing someone who has nothing to do with her of cheating. I feel so angry with her, I think about all of this almost constantly, and I can't seem to get over it, and ir makes me feel so sick. C also feels very angry and hurt by B. I don't know how can we overcome all of this, we have talked a lot abput this, and habe decided that it's not a good idea to confront B. But I don't know, I can't stand being near B anymore, I'm starting to feel alienated from the group of friends. I'm losing motivation to do things, and I'm constantly afraid of bumping with B, as she might try something else, or say more huetful things. I feel very creeped out and scared. Should I let things settle and avoid her as best as I can? How can I support C, since she's very affected too? I'm sorry, it ended up being a wall of text.[/QUOTE]
Ok, can you read your post and gender flip it for a second? I'd be telling any girl to get a restraining order.
She is toxic as hell, leave her blocked on everything, talk to your friends you like and see if maybe you can start hanging out with them without her. I would 100% be staying out of contact with her because she is clearly trying to fuck with your head here dude. The best thing you can do is not get in contact with her personally. And talk to your friends there's a fair chance based on other behaviours she starts trying to make up shit about you to other people
[QUOTE=AtomicSans;52740958]my new roommate keeps eating my food and using my pots and pans then not washing them
unfortunately I probably won't do anything about it because I'm spineless and let people walk all over me at will
also I can't understand him through his accent
My conflict mediation skills are absolute trash.[/QUOTE]
I feel like I have to continuously tell my roommate not to live like a degenerate slob. He likes to leave food splatters all over the stove and microwave, and I had to train him over time to not leave dishes in the sink for days and days.
He keeps his door closed, so I imagine his room is appallingly disgusting. Especially since he keeps his cats' litterbox in there, and he constantly smells like cat litter.
His big habit lately is hoarding dishes in his room instead of washing them. I emptied the dishwasher yesterday and noticed like 3 plates and a bunch of silverware is missing, so I know he's dish-hoarding again. When we moved in, he had this one bowl and a couple mugs that were his, and I have not seen those dishes in literally 6+ months.
I'm kind of astounded he hasn't accidentally cultivated a new strain of ebola in his bedroom or something.
[QUOTE=Loofiloo;52742369]I feel like I have to continuously tell my roommate not to live like a degenerate slob. He likes to leave food splatters all over the stove and microwave, and I had to train him over time to not leave dishes in the sink for days and days.
He keeps his door closed, so I imagine his room is appallingly disgusting. Especially since he keeps his cats' litterbox in there, and he constantly smells like cat litter.
His big habit lately is hoarding dishes in his room instead of washing them. I emptied the dishwasher yesterday and noticed like 3 plates and a bunch of silverware is missing, so I know he's dish-hoarding again. When we moved in, he had this one bowl and a couple mugs that were his, and I have not seen those dishes in literally 6+ months.
I'm kind of astounded he hasn't accidentally cultivated a new strain of ebola in his bedroom or something.[/QUOTE]
My last roommate was a nightmare.
-Same thing with me - he would cook and not clean my pan to the point where I just took the pan away and brought it home.
-He would turn the heat on when it's 70+ degrees F out.
-Whenever I walked past his door to get to my room, you could smell the utter filth seeping from the bottom of the door. I don't think a single bit of fresh air entered his room the entire year we lived there.
-Would not respond to alarms - I think he had at most 4 alarms going off at once, usually lasting anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes. Not only that but he slept at unusual times of the day, usually staying awake all night watching anime and sleeping all morning. Usually his morning alarms would go off and wake me up, but not him.
-Would take 30 to an hour taking a shit. Usually watching anime on the toilet.
-Would piss all over the floor not bothering to clean it up either.
-Him brushing his teeth sounded like a bull drinking water with its nose. Made so much noise and the mirror needed cleaning way too often. The sink and counter top looked like a bird was taking a bath by the time he was done.
-Back to the kitchen - the fridge and counter and stove were a mess. Did not clean anything all semester.
He certainly could have been worse but damn it's a collection of so many little things that drove me nuts.
This is why you screen roommates or just straight up not move into a place if you've met the roommates and seen they look like messy cunts. If I were to ever room it up with someone, I'd try and nab someone who's working a professional 9-5 job, or working in a high maintenance degree like engineering. if they've got the energy and get up and go attitude to tackle an intensive degree, they're probs on top of their shit in other aspects of their life.
that'd give me some peace of mind knowing they'd be sleeping at normal times, and would have a bit of drive and motivation, instead of sitting in their room all night watching anime and then sleeping all day and being a lazy pig. it's also a massive red flag if you go check out a potential place, and the person you're rooming it up with just seems incredibly awkward or socially retarded.
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Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts.
