Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

Girl i mentioned last page about having feelings for but only being a friend introduced me to this girl today. Who is awesome asked her to go for drinks on sunday and she said yes, excite

[QUOTE=_Maverick_;52774595]Remember my roommate situation [url=https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1537757&p=52767067&viewfull=1#post52767067]I posted last page? [/url] the couple bought a kitten and fed it popcorn 3 days later after buying it and now it's dead. [/QUOTE] That's fucking animal abuse - it doesn't take a genius to figure out that an animal won't be able to survive on something that a human couldn't possibly survive on alone. Report it to the store they bought it from, report it to whatever authorities handle this sort of thing.

[QUOTE=snookypookums;52775984]That's fucking animal abuse - it doesn't take a genius to figure out that an animal won't be able to survive on something that a human couldn't possibly survive on alone. Report it to the store they bought it from, report it to whatever authorities handle this sort of thing.[/QUOTE] I'm pretty sure he means the kitten ate a piece of popcorn they fed it and choked to death on it.

[QUOTE=snookypookums;52775984]That's fucking animal abuse - it doesn't take a genius to figure out that an animal won't be able to survive on something that a human couldn't possibly survive on alone. Report it to the store they bought it from, report it to whatever authorities handle this sort of thing.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=loopoo;52776000]I'm pretty sure he means the kitten ate a piece of popcorn they fed it and choked to death on it.[/QUOTE] Yeah, sorry I didn't mean to imply they [I]exclusively[/I] fed it [I]only[/I] a piece of popcorn in three days They had and looked after it for three days feeding it regularly. Then three days later, it ate/was fed a piece.

I don't understand, is popcorn toxic to cats?

No, but kernels can be easily choked on if a kitten doesn't know how to chew and eat it properly.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52776286]No, but kernels can be easily choked on if a kitten doesn't know how to chew and eat it properly.[/QUOTE] Man, that's heartbreaking for me. I had to bury stillborn cats once in a small shoebox I got for them to play in. Still sometimes have nightmares about it, dealing with death of something so small is just awful :frown: My dad lost his best pal,a big ol' German Shepherd named Brutus that travelled with him on ships when he was in the merchant navy, because some kid fed Brutus some chocolate and my dad discovered this too late. Never had a pet since and blames himself for it. :frown:

So i got this weirdo situation on my hands which intermixes tinder/bumble and real life. I want to know what you guys make of it. This involves two girls, trivia girl and bumble girl. I jumped back into dating recently and for a while it was awful but now it's starting to go really well. Two weeks ago, I went out to dinner with my two best friends, and they brought along a friend of theirs I hadn't met before - trivia girl. She and I, it turns out, got on really well, I had a great time talking to her that night, thought she was attractive as hell, and I knew she was single as we spoke about our experiences on dating apps, and I was really excited to see her the following week at a trivia night that we had organised. Come the next week, trivia girl didn't show up at the trivia night - apparently she forgot. I was a bit disheartened by that, but figured, okay, it could just be a mistake, next time I see her I'll see if she wants to go for a drink, and I put it out of my mind. About 5 days after trivia night, I matched with trivia girl on Bumble, completely out of the blue! All signs point to go! I messaged her, pretty excited to get to know her, but she was [I]awful[/I] at talking. The following day (last Sunday) I decided to go for broke and just ask her out for a drink, figuring what the hell, she probably just hates messaging. Cue silence. I didn't hear from her for a couple days so I figured she just ghosted me, I thought that was a bit shit and I moved on. Thus the supposed end of trivia girl. Now, during this saga I'd also been talking to this girl on bumble (bumble girl) and it was pretty casual, but I moved slowly towards asking her out, and I got her number. When we started texting, we found out we had a lot in common, and generally we were having a great time talking. We organised to get drinks at the end of the work week (yesterday) and I was really excited to meet her. She works in finance, she's a bit older than me, fun to be around and holy hell she is attractive. We texted each day until our date. Friday comes. The day of the date with bumble girl and its gonna be fun. On my way to work in the morning, I get a message on Bumble. It's trivia girl. She had been out to a concert last night with our mutual friend, and had messaged me saying: "Also I'm a dick for never replying. That sounds great, maybe we could get a coffee? (emoji)" Inconvenient. I called my friend to ask him what the hell was going on and to tell him I didn't want a pity date if that's what he convinced her to give me. Apparently, she just forgot, and she's really bad at Bumble, and she just left it too long but actually, she [i]is[/i] keen. I messaged her back saying ok, sounds great, but I haven't heard from her yet. Its been about a day. Sort of wondering whether I ever will, but I feel like if I go for trivia girl at all I'd be losing self respect. She didn't message me for a good week, and just shows up out of the blue. Anyway, the final event is the date with bumble girl and I had a great time. My mouth hurt from laughing at points and she got me a bit drunk because she couldn't drink and wanted to live vicariously through me. We kissed goodnight and it felt wonderful. From a personality perspective, I'm worried things with her may be a little intense, but we've had one date, there's no commitment there yet and god I want to see her again. So my question is first of all what the hell is up with trivia girl, are these massive red flags or am I expecting too much, and given that I've been having a good time with bumble girl, should I even bother really? TL:DR Two girls, one I met IRL and we got on really well, but she's being flakey despite being keen, the other I met yesterday and things have been going really well. What is up with the flakey girl and should I write her off given I've met these people once / how should I react to this

You messaging trivia girl through bumble or do you have her number?

[QUOTE=_Axel;52777467]You messaging trivia girl through bumble or do you have her number?[/QUOTE] Through bumble right now, but I’ll be asking for her number if she ever gets back to me

If you get matched to a girl (so you clicked yes and she somehow ended up clicking yes): What the fuck do you message them? (as a guy) I get few of those but idk what to message, the only thing that comes to my mind is: "hi" but that feels weak so I dont message at all :v:

[QUOTE=arleitiss;52777722]If you get matched to a girl (so you clicked yes and she somehow ended up clicking yes): What the fuck do you message them? (as a guy) I get few of those but idk what to message, the only thing that comes to my mind is: "hi" but that feels weak so I dont message at all :v:[/QUOTE] If you want to go down the "pun on the girl's name" route, go to r/tinder. That's almost always what they do. If I was a girl, I'd just unmatch instantly. Otherwise, just see if you can get a read on stuff they like either from their bio or their pictures or even their instagram (99% of them love to put their instagram account info on their profiles) and go from there. In the past (stopped using Tinder/Bumble/OKCupid et al. just didn't seem fun for me anymore) I've had decent conversations which started off with "Hey, that third picture...is that XYZ?" or the more mundane "Hey, it's Friday! Doing anything fun over the weekend?" and seeing where it goes from there.

[QUOTE=snookypookums;52777832]If you want to go down the "pun on the girl's name" route, go to r/tinder. That's almost always what they do. If I was a girl, I'd just unmatch instantly. Otherwise, just see if you can get a read on stuff they like either from their bio or their pictures or even their instagram (99% of them love to put their instagram account info on their profiles) and go from there. In the past (stopped using Tinder/Bumble/OKCupid et al. just didn't seem fun for me anymore) I've had decent conversations which started off with "Hey, that third picture...is that XYZ?" or the more mundane "Hey, it's Friday! Doing anything fun over the weekend?" and seeing where it goes from there.[/QUOTE] That's great, because I've given up cause I don't get a single match.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;52777397]So i got this weirdo situation on my hands which intermixes tinder/bumble and real life. I want to know what you guys make of it. This involves two girls, trivia girl and bumble girl. I jumped back into dating recently and for a while it was awful but now it's starting to go really well. Two weeks ago, I went out to dinner with my two best friends, and they brought along a friend of theirs I hadn't met before - trivia girl. She and I, it turns out, got on really well, I had a great time talking to her that night, thought she was attractive as hell, and I knew she was single as we spoke about our experiences on dating apps, and I was really excited to see her the following week at a trivia night that we had organised. Come the next week, trivia girl didn't show up at the trivia night - apparently she forgot. I was a bit disheartened by that, but figured, okay, it could just be a mistake, next time I see her I'll see if she wants to go for a drink, and I put it out of my mind. About 5 days after trivia night, I matched with trivia girl on Bumble, completely out of the blue! All signs point to go! I messaged her, pretty excited to get to know her, but she was [I]awful[/I] at talking. The following day (last Sunday) I decided to go for broke and just ask her out for a drink, figuring what the hell, she probably just hates messaging. Cue silence. I didn't hear from her for a couple days so I figured she just ghosted me, I thought that was a bit shit and I moved on. Thus the supposed end of trivia girl. Now, during this saga I'd also been talking to this girl on bumble (bumble girl) and it was pretty casual, but I moved slowly towards asking her out, and I got her number. When we started texting, we found out we had a lot in common, and generally we were having a great time talking. We organised to get drinks at the end of the work week (yesterday) and I was really excited to meet her. She works in finance, she's a bit older than me, fun to be around and holy hell she is attractive. We texted each day until our date. Friday comes. The day of the date with bumble girl and its gonna be fun. On my way to work in the morning, I get a message on Bumble. It's trivia girl. She had been out to a concert last night with our mutual friend, and had messaged me saying: "Also I'm a dick for never replying. That sounds great, maybe we could get a coffee? (emoji)" Inconvenient. I called my friend to ask him what the hell was going on and to tell him I didn't want a pity date if that's what he convinced her to give me. Apparently, she just forgot, and she's really bad at Bumble, and she just left it too long but actually, she [i]is[/i] keen. I messaged her back saying ok, sounds great, but I haven't heard from her yet. Its been about a day. Sort of wondering whether I ever will, but I feel like if I go for trivia girl at all I'd be losing self respect. She didn't message me for a good week, and just shows up out of the blue. Anyway, the final event is the date with bumble girl and I had a great time. My mouth hurt from laughing at points and she got me a bit drunk because she couldn't drink and wanted to live vicariously through me. We kissed goodnight and it felt wonderful. From a personality perspective, I'm worried things with her may be a little intense, but we've had one date, there's no commitment there yet and god I want to see her again. So my question is first of all what the hell is up with trivia girl, are these massive red flags or am I expecting too much, and given that I've been having a good time with bumble girl, should I even bother really? TL:DR Two girls, one I met IRL and we got on really well, but she's being flakey despite being keen, the other I met yesterday and things have been going really well. What is up with the flakey girl and should I write her off given I've met these people once / how should I react to this[/QUOTE] If trivia girl doesn't respond, just leave it there? It doesn't sound likely she will without some prompting and this other thing you've got going sounds great. Flakey people are the worst. Would you want that in a relationship?

Pretty angry right now. I recently moved to Austin, Texas about 6 months ago. About two weeks after moving into my new apartment, a couple of girls moved into the apartment directly next door. They introduced themselves and were real polite. One girl (who we'll call Jane) gave me her number and invited me over that evening. I didn't go. We texted a few brief times and talked about hanging out but never got around to it. Today she came over and invited me to a party they were having tonight. I thought a lot about going but ended up staying in for the night. Fast forward a few hours later and you can hear the party next door. It eventually dies down. After a bit, I hear some crying outside. Someone is out their bawling. I had to see what was wrong so I stepped outside. I see an EMS vehicle down in the parking lot and a police officer and a few medics coming up the stairs. Jane is out their crying, falls to her knees and says 'I got fucking raped!" When she said that, I felt all of my skin turn cold and I felt like I lost my breath. I was so mad and sad and full of regret knowing that I was invited over there and could have potentially stopped this from happening. This polite girl who couldn't hurt a fly was taken, siezed, 30 feet from my front door. I just keep replaying in my head seeing her alone and bawling as the cops were coming up the stairs. She had to feel so alone. I'm so mad. How can people be so evil.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;52755760]I got hammered last night and texted a girl I like saying I love her. I've never fucked up on such a big scale :v: Its fine tho, she read it but didnt reply, it wouldnt work out anyway so its fine that she knows it now, literally doesnt change a thing.[/QUOTE] Okay I got hammered again and messaged her again (even though she read my last chat and didnt reply). I sent her memes. First I sent her: [URL]https://i.imgur.com/LqKE7xO.jpg[/URL] and few hours later I sent her: [URL]https://i.imgur.com/rJ7hzUy.jpg[/URL] I am a total dingus, this relationship is a toast :v: On a bright side - I messaged another girl last night randomly saying: Wanna go out? She said yes so arranging that now. P.S - She read those memes but obviously didn't reply.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;52778705]Okay I got hammered again and messaged her again (even though she read my last chat and didnt reply). I sent her memes. First I sent her: [URL]https://i.imgur.com/LqKE7xO.jpg[/URL] and few hours later I sent her: h[URL="https://i.imgur.com/rJ7hzUy.jpg"]ttps://i.imgur.com/rJ7hzUy.jpg[/URL] I am a total dingus, this relationship is a toast :v: On a bright side - I messaged another girl last night randomly saying: Wanna go out? She said yes so arranging that now. P.S - She read those memes but obviously didn't reply.[/QUOTE] that's the cringiest thing, please stop doing it. especially since she totally ignored your first out of the blue message stating your crush for her. and you yourself said nothing would come of this, so what on earth are you doing going back for round two? either keep your phone out of reach when you know you're getting shitfaced drunk, or just don't get drunk to the point where texting her seems like a good idea. doing the :v: like it's hilarious but it's actually really embarrassing.

[QUOTE=loopoo;52778788]that's the cringiest thing, please stop doing it. especially since she totally ignored your first out of the blue message stating your crush for her. and you yourself said nothing would come of this, so what on earth are you doing going back for round two? either keep your phone out of reach when you know you're getting shitfaced drunk, or just don't get drunk to the point where texting her seems like a good idea. doing the :v: like it's hilarious but it's actually really embarrassing.[/QUOTE] I don't really feel embarrassed, just know it was stupid and weird. But yeah, I need to stop alcohol, just doesn't work out for me. Our relationship was weird, she knew I had crush for her (one of mutual friends blabbed about it) but we continued talking like friends and just kinda okay. After I lost job I kind of went into depression for 3 months where I ignored everybody, after I got out of this state - I apologized to everybody and we all still hangout and talk fine but she wasn't happy about it (kind of understandable after 3 months of pure ignoring). I play CS and other games with her distant cousin (They dont talk, like literally I talk to her cousin more than she does) and her cousin knows the entire story and said that I should message her from time to time and eventually she might start talking to me again, so me admitting crush for her wasn't really news but yeah it's still weird. But yeah I defnetely should pick what I message (if I do) instead of sending stupid pictures.

[QUOTE=Ignhelper;52777889]That's great, because I've given up cause I don't get a single match.[/QUOTE] I stopped bothering because I honestly have better things to do with my life than be some girl's entertainment until someone better looking comes along. Not to mention creativity is dead. I'm tempted to make a Tinder bingo card where the following things appear as items: 1) Loves to Travel 2) "Adventures" 3) Picture of girl at Machchu Pichchu 4) Atleast one photo of them as a bridesmaid in their friends wedding (23 years and above only) 5) The Office Reference - "I'm not superstitious...I'm a little stitious" 6) The Office Reference #2 - "Looking for the Dwight/Jim to my Jim/Pam" 7) "Not looking for hookups". On a hookup app. 8) Emoji salad 9) "If I superliked you, it was an accident, sorry." 10) "I probably swiped right because of your dog/cat/flesh-eating octopus" 11) "Tall guys only"/"You must be atleast six feet to ride ;)" 12) "Netflix" 13) "Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica." 14) They don't connect their instagram to their Tinder account, but do list it as the only thing in their bio. 15) The montage - Every single picture is with them in a group and you just [I]know[/I]it's going to be the least attractive one in the gaggle. 16) Bot. 17) "Yes, the ankle-biter in that picture is my darling boy/girl and they come first in my life." Depending on the area, the number of single mums goes up dramatically. 18) Yoga pants picture 19) Absolutely horrendous taste in Spotify music 20) "Just ask!" 21) Their height. 22) Their MBTI type - i.e. INTP, ENFP, etc. 23) Their Horoscope sign 24) "Foodie" 25) (If nerdy) Least obscure Star Wars reference. 26) "Wine and cheese for days" 27) "I like long walks to the refrigerator :D :D" :suicide: 28) At least one obligatory picture of her in a bikini 29) At least one picture of her doing rock climbing that one time, but still listing it as if it's a regular hobby 30) Same as above, just with Skydiving 31) On a boat 32) (Specific to certain states) "Love to go mudding" 33) Emoji flags of all the countries they've been to (even if it was a stopover at the airport, it counts :v:) 34) Must be <insert local sports team> fan. Atleast one picture of them wearing the jersey on the couch in someone else's house. 35) Game of Thrones mentioned in likes. 36) "I like listening to music" :suicide: Mind you, this is just for women - dudes are no less guilty and I've explored what other people do just for research to see what the hell women see. It's a sea of shirtless pictures where men are giving themselves hernias to show some muscle definition while standing in some disgusting dingy bathroom. Oh, and depending on the state, it's also a picture of them holding or posing next to some animal they killed, posing with their most expensive guns (Texas), posing in what appears to be the Urban cowboy getup (again, Texas with consolation prize going to Tennessee) and of course, posing with their car/friends car - it really depends on the perceived brand value so if it's a Merc or a Bimmer or a Jaguar or an SUV, it's going in there. Ditto for bikes. I had been using Tinder (somewhat successfully, not a bad set of matches) when one day I woke up and realized that I had no interest in meeting people this way, uninstalled it and never looked back.

I reinstalled tinder yesterday after a bit of a dry spell; you just reminded me why I uninstalled it in the first place.

[QUOTE=snookypookums;52778896]I stopped bothering because I honestly have better things to do with my life than be some girl's entertainment until someone better looking comes along. Not to mention creativity is dead. I'm tempted to make a Tinder bingo card where the following things appear as items: -list- Mind you, this is just for women - dudes are no less guilty and I've explored what other people do just for research to see what the hell women see. It's a sea of shirtless pictures where men are giving themselves hernias to show some muscle definition while standing in some disgusting dingy bathroom. Oh, and depending on the state, it's also a picture of them holding or posing next to some animal they killed, posing with their most expensive guns (Texas), posing in what appears to be the Urban cowboy getup (again, Texas with consolation prize going to Tennessee) and of course, posing with their car/friends car - it really depends on the perceived brand value so if it's a Merc or a Bimmer or a Jaguar or an SUV, it's going in there. Ditto for bikes. I had been using Tinder (somewhat successfully, not a bad set of matches) when one day I woke up and realized that I had no interest in meeting people this way, uninstalled it and never looked back.[/QUOTE] I get some of these issues but some of these seem contradictory. Why do you both dislike women saying "No hookups" and those who display their body via yoga pants and bikinis? If you consider Tinder a hookup app I don't see the big deal with sexy shots, and if you consider it a standard dating app then why do you dislike like-minded women? It must vary depending on location though. I've never seen half of the issues you list. The amount of girls who use snapchat filters though... Never seen so many fucking cartoon dogs and hamsters in my life.

I agree with that list. Remember though that is what is considered the average. They're putting no hook-ups because that's what they're looking for. If you're looking for some highly refined bio you're going to be doing a lot of swiping. If you're looking to go out on a date with the person with the above average bio, you're going to have to stand out somehow from the thousands of other dudes who have equally generic bios "IPA's, Reddit, and Working Out" and cropped pictures/gym selfies/whatever. Remember, most of those things are easy to talk about. Having decent pictures, a decent bio, and an icebreaker is like half the battle on any dating app.

Can we all just agree that Tinder is something you use either to hook-up (primarily at least) or for shits-and-giggles? I mean that's oversimplifying it, but still.

[QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;52779308]Can we all just agree that Tinder is something you use either to hook-up (primarily at least) or for shits-and-giggles? I mean that's oversimplifying it, but still.[/QUOTE] Never used it for either of those. Met my ex on there which I spend almost 2 years with, and currently dating a girl I met on there. The whole "match" thing may be based mostly on physical attraction but that's gonna be the starting point of any (most?) relationships anyway. Lengthy bios on dating sites often don't actually bring much more to the table (well, they do make it easier to start a conversation which is a nice plus), most of the time you can only really see if you connect to the person by talking to them. I see Tinder as something similar to meeting new people at a pub, they don't have their whole life written on their face and that's something you discover along the way.

[QUOTE=_Axel;52779194]I get some of these issues but some of these seem contradictory. Why do you both dislike women saying "No hookups" and those who display their body via yoga pants and bikinis? If you consider Tinder a hookup app I don't see the big deal with sexy shots, and if you consider it a standard dating app then why do you dislike like-minded women? It must vary depending on location though. I've never seen half of the issues you list. The amount of girls who use snapchat filters though... Never seen so many fucking cartoon dogs and hamsters in my life.[/QUOTE] Good question and I think some more clarity from my side is needed. I don't have any particular problem with using "No Hookup", but it should be pointed out that this is never actually meant the way it's meant. I hooked up with three women that had this on their profile, which renders the point of this meaningless. Basically, what it should read is "Will hookup if you're hot enough, else no". For anything else, the phrasing is basically "Looking for new friends and/or something long term" for women that are seriously using it as a dating app. To me the whole "no hookups" thing smacks of "not meaning what you say" and that's very duplicitous. Of course, in some cases (like it was the case back in my home country of India) it's there for a good reason too - plausible deniability. In case you should find your cousin on these apps, from the woman's perspective, having "No hookups" gives them an out, especially if their douchebag cousin or relative or family friend sees them and decides to tattle on them to their parents that their daughter was on a "hookup app". As for the women in yoga pants and bikinis thing - that's not really me disliking them for that. I mean, they're bikini/yoga picks and I'm a hot blooded dude, what's not to like? :v: The reason I listed those is that they're the female equivalent of shirtless dudes on guy's Tinder profiles. If you can spoof your location, try seeing what it's like in NYC or San francisco to get an idea of what I've just described. After a while you just lose interest in even swiping, because the profiles just blur into each other with how absolutely dull they are. As for the snapchat filters, as always, there's a reason - I asked one of the most ultra feminine girls I know (her instagram is literally 90% selfies of her, with a healthy mix of snapchat filters). Apparently the dog and hamster filters also kinda blur out the skin on the cheek on the face which remove blemishes and imperfections. It also hides the nose and some folks have some insecurities about that, so yeah. Shit, even my skin looks great with the dog filter on, but I'd die before I put that up anywhere. :v:

[QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;52779308]Can we all just agree that Tinder is something you use either to hook-up (primarily at least) or for shits-and-giggles? I mean that's oversimplifying it, but still.[/QUOTE] It's a tool with the implication that you can hookup and make jokes on, but it can be used for finding relationships. That's really all there is. I wouldn't restrict it to just hooking up. If you're looking for it, sure, but I think generally most people in this thread are asking questions related to it because they want to form relationships. Understand that dating is supposed to be fun and tinder/bumble/whatever are all avenues to meet people who might want the same things you want. So don't beat yourself up about it if you don't click with someone because that's part of dating - finding out if you click.

I have "not into hookups" on my Tinder profile and if some goober thinks that it's just a thing I put there boy do I have some news for them. [editline]14th October 2017[/editline] You know what, I actually also have "asexual" on there so if they still think I'm not serious about it, they might be really dumb lmao.

That stuff is really the only reason I keep having to chicken out of relationships. I get people who tell me that sex doesn't matter to them over and over and yet it's all they seem to talk about, all they seem to allude to and it makes me mondo uncomfortable. Like I have no issue with people who DO want/need sex in relationships cuz that's the majority but it's not what I'm looking for lol.

[QUOTE=The golden;52779637]God. Fuck people who think "asexual" is just for show or see you as a challenge they can "overcome". Not every potential partner/friend wants sexual interaction.[/QUOTE] Oh don't worry, I remember my lesbian and gay friends in uni telling me that the primary reason they're also suspicious of the opposite gender approaching them is that sometimes, they come with the agenda of trying to succeed in "banging them straight". Like, seriously - the fuck are you thinking that you have any chance of success with that approach? :v:

[QUOTE=blacksam;52779402]It's a tool with the implication that you can hookup and make jokes on, but it can be used for finding relationships. That's really all there is. I wouldn't restrict it to just hooking up. If you're looking for it, sure, but I think generally most people in this thread are asking questions related to it because they want to form relationships. Understand that dating is supposed to be fun and tinder/bumble/whatever are all avenues to meet people who might want the same things you want. So don't beat yourself up about it if you don't click with someone because that's part of dating - finding out if you click.[/QUOTE] Like I said, it's over simplifying it, and maybe I should've been more specific. Of course Tinder can be used to look for relationships, and I understand people who do that. Far as I know, that's actually the purpose of Tinder: to help you find someone to get into a relationship with. But it's undeniable that it is primarily used by people to hook-up. There's so many other, better options if you're looking for a relationship rather than a one-night stand.