Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=gtanoofa;52858864]Some people have been questioning that in my life. I don't know, my mom is super weird like. She told me my dad's and uncle's penis size for whatever reason when i was younger and has been hinting at that, but i REALLY don't want to find out. I'm gonna talk to her tomorrow about this and tell her to stop being so weird to me because it makes me feel uncomfortable.[/QUOTE] I actually don't think you should after reading that. There is literally no legitimate reason for her to be trying to share that with you in this way. I mean this: please, please find a family member you can trust and talk to them. I also thoroughly recommend ringing a service regarding abuse for any further advice. This is absolutely not normal behaviour and I'm mortified to hear about what you're dealing with. I suggest ringing one of those helplines because those sorts of people will be more useful than I ever could, but don't hesitate to talk to us more here as well if you have any questions or need some moral support. [editline]5th November 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;52858868]What the fuck, is this a joke?[/QUOTE] Yes, but that is before I realised what gtanoofa is going through sounds a lot like abuse. I didn't understand the details then. I will amend my post because it is insensitive at this point.

[QUOTE=gtanoofa;52858946]Wait you think it's abuse? I don't feel threatened just creeped out by her behavior. If i wanted to point out abuse it'd be my dad who has been abusing me since i was a kid, but i'm gonna leave home soon so it's not an issue.[/QUOTE] I was calling it abuse in the context of both their actions together, but her conduct alone is sexually abusive, even if it may not seem that way on the surface. I have to say that I am really quite concerned. I hope you don't think I am blowing this out of proportion, but I really think something has to be done right away, even if it is simply staying at a friend's, or something. Look, a Dutch friend of mine has gone through some pretty bad stuff in this arena and she is a bit of an activist now. I would really feel much better if you spoke to somebody you can trust, but if that isn't practical, may I give you her Twitter so you can talk to her about it? [editline]5th November 2017[/editline] Just to be clear, we can remain here and talk about it, but all I know is that I want to help but have no experience of doing so, and I doubt there is much utility for you in that. She's really nice and always a pleasure to talk to.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52858273]Might need to be evaluating why you might be coming across as creepy.[/QUOTE] Usually is small personality quarks, and to frank, how you look. For odd behaviors and inexperience, I would actually suggest going back and reading this thread. If you really have time, go to the first page of this thread for links to previous versions. Go through them, look at what worked for people, and what did. Despite having absolutely no relationship experience enough, I still maintain enough understanding to avoid common mistakes complete newbies make and even help my friends who are in relationships. Facepunch is a great resource and place to ask questions, so pop in this thread if you want advice as well. And as far as looks go, I am friends with several girls, all of which told me that am "cute" but in the friendly kind of way. One of them even mentioned that I can come off as a bit creepy until they know me better. Today I used a hairdryer after showering instead of letting my hair dry flat, and wore a nicer blue shirt. The very instant they saw me, they actually said I looked attractive ("for once"). It really doesn't take too much, just take care of your hygiene and presentation, it goes a long way. If you want even better results, try working out in a gym yo help your body and self confidence (Im starting now in secret, but mainly because my metabolism is bipolar between "burn with the force of a thousand suns" and "you're a human popsicle now" and I believe a little muscle mass can stabilize that.)

[QUOTE=gtanoofa;52859003]I don't have a twitter or a fb. My only social networking profiles are on tumblr, instagram and snapchat.[/QUOTE] I have sent you a PM with her Snapchat. I hope you find her advice useful, as I am sure mine hasn't been.

[QUOTE=Dan The Man;52858885]I actually don't think you should after reading that. There is literally no legitimate reason for her to be trying to share that with you in this way. I mean this: please, please find a family member you can trust and talk to them. I also thoroughly recommend ringing a service regarding abuse for any further advice. This is absolutely not normal behaviour and I'm mortified to hear about what you're dealing with. I suggest ringing one of those helplines because those sorts of people will be more useful than I ever could, but don't hesitate to talk to us more here as well if you have any questions or need some moral support. [editline]5th November 2017[/editline] Yes, but that is before I realised what gtanoofa is going through sounds a lot like abuse. I didn't understand the details then. I will amend my post because it is insensitive at this point.[/QUOTE] No worries man, I just misread your post and thought that there was seriously such a law on the books :v:

Part of being socially awkward/shy is being afraid of embarassing yourself, so you hold yourself back and don't reveal much about your personality or interests. The other person, however, just sees you being guarded and doesn't know what it is about you that you need to keep so secret. Most normal people wouldn't suspect that what you're hiding are relatively trivial embarrassing things, and instead think there's something really wrong that you're trying to mask, and it sets them on edge. I think that's the root of percieved creepiness with lonely/shy people who aren't [I]actually[/I] fucked up. As for how to solve this: Just try to be more real and casual. Not an easy task I know, it takes practice. Surround yourself with people who you suspect won't laugh at you when you open up to them. Booze can also help (temporarily, anyway).

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;52859084]No worries man, I just misread your post and thought that there was seriously such a law on the books :v:[/QUOTE] Hahaha! It is a bit of a meme that the UK is a repressed society, but there is a certain degree of truth to it. Still, that you thought that law could be legit is fantastically funny to me. I say that, but it is still against the law for me to not be an accomplished Longbowman, and that is 100% serious.

Seems like the best place to ask- is Tinder Gold worth it? Google brings up some seriously divided opinions.

Tinder gold isn't worth it, it doesn't suddenly give you a bunch of people you are more compatible with it just gives you more Yes or No chances.

[QUOTE=Elstumpo;52860983]Seems like the best place to ask- is Tinder Gold worth it? Google brings up some seriously divided opinions.[/QUOTE] The newish update shows how many people swiped right on you, except that sometimes those people won't show up unless you've got gold. So it's really up to you

Not sure if this is the right place but my eye lid has been twitching for about a week now, and it's becoming a little concerning. Should I visit the optician or doctor?

[QUOTE=Clive;52861538]Not sure if this is the right place but my eye lid has been twitching for about a week now, and it's becoming a little concerning. Should I visit the optician or doctor?[/QUOTE] Probably magnesium deficiency, I get it from time to time. I don't think your optician can do anything, you should go see your GP if it persists.

[QUOTE=_Axel;52861557]Probably magnesium deficiency, I get it from time to time. I don't think your optician can do anything, you should go see your GP if it persists.[/QUOTE] I've just never had it before and I am over cautious about my eyes so it kinda got me in a panic. I do have my annual eye test coming up anyway so I guess it can't hurt to mention it.

the event turned out really nice last night, but like i guessed, i ended up with people who no one else wanted to take :v: so my car was really depressing, since it was the socially awkward members. then when we got to the event, we all had a brief 5 mins where everyone chatted whilst we waited for stragglers to arrive, and then once everyone got there, people peeled off into their own groups. feels bad

[QUOTE=Clive;52861561]I've just never had it before and I am over cautious about my eyes so it kinda got me in a panic. I do have my annual eye test coming up anyway so I guess it can't hurt to mention it.[/QUOTE] Whilst magnesium deficiency can potentially cause this, eye twitching is most commonly caused by not getting enough sleep. Vitamin D deficiency can also be the reason, but I would try catching up on sleep first, before going to the doctor, if necessary.

[QUOTE=Dan The Man;52861740]Whilst magnesium deficiency can potentially cause this, eye twitching is most commonly caused by not getting enough sleep. Vitamin D deficiency can also be the reason, but I would try catching up on sleep first, before going to the doctor, if necessary.[/QUOTE] I pretty much have done, I slept for like 4 hours a while back and since then I have been having 7 - 8 hours of sleep a night for about a week and a bit so I would say I am pretty caught up. My eye might think differently though.

[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;52858557]You don't need experience to get experience. You'll realize, when you're in a relationship, how little of it you need, which is still ironic but not quite the same. You pick up on a lot of stuff even when you're not in one. You probably know more than you think you do, so leave the stuff you think you don't know in the back of your mind, and focus on what you do know. Be conscious of how you engage in conversation, your mannerisms, how open you are to different topics, etc. and try to fine-tune that.[/QUOTE] What I don't know is how to flirt and show interest basically. Anything other than just acting friendly honestly feels kind of sleazy and like I'd come off as a creep because I'm not attractive enough to get away with it. [editline]6th November 2017[/editline] My "showing interest" is basically just general clingyness and I know that doesn't work.

[QUOTE=Clive;52861781]I pretty much have done, I slept for like 4 hours a while back and since then I have been having 7 - 8 hours of sleep a night for about a week and a bit so I would say I am pretty caught up. My eye might think differently though.[/QUOTE] Time slept and quality of sleep don't always line up either, this happens to me when I'm stressed and my sleep isn't good no matter how much I get. Tend to get little facial twitches then even though I sleep a ton If your concerned check to see if you've got a decent vitamin diet and try to manage stress and get good sleep, then if it's still going you can check the doc but they will just say the same otherwise

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;52861805]What I don't know is how to flirt and show interest basically. Anything other than just acting friendly honestly feels kind of sleazy and like I'd come off as a creep because I'm not attractive enough to get away with it. [editline]6th November 2017[/editline] My "showing interest" is basically just general clingyness and I know that doesn't work.[/QUOTE] There's no need to be anything more than friendly. There are subtle body language cues that are likely demonstrating to any girls you like how you feel, even if you don't think you're doing it. If you were going clubbing, then yes, flirting is kinda necessary, but in social gatherings and such, I have always been okay if I have just been entertaining to be around, asking someone out later after getting to know them.

[QUOTE=Clive;52861269]Tinder gold isn't worth it, it doesn't suddenly give you a bunch of people you are more compatible with it just gives you more Yes or No chances.[/QUOTE] I’m already in talks with 2 girls. I hate swiping so I’m happy so far.

[QUOTE=Elstumpo;52862765]I’m already in talks with 2 girls. I hate swiping so I’m happy so far.[/QUOTE] "In talks" sounds as though you are arranging a business merger, although I suppose you may be wanting to merge your business ends.

[QUOTE=Dan The Man;52863636]"In talks" sounds as though you are arranging a business merger, although I suppose you may be wanting to merge your business ends.[/QUOTE] Sweetie- I live my life one financial quarter at a time.

[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;52861805]What I don't know is how to flirt and show interest basically. Anything other than just acting friendly honestly feels kind of sleazy and like I'd come off as a creep because I'm not attractive enough to get away with it. [editline]6th November 2017[/editline] My "showing interest" is basically just general clingyness and I know that doesn't work.[/QUOTE] show interest in her hobbies, how her day was simple stuff like that isn't really being clingy if you're talking just ask her how her days been so far shit like that.

I learned by accident that my ex cheated on me. She doesn't want me to know that the guy she fucked back then is the same guy she's now been together with for like half a year now. What's even better is that he's double her age (like, he's in his late forties) and a co-worker of mine. Don't get me wrong, I don't envy him. I mean, she's going to leave him eventually cause she already admitted herself that she "doesn't want a life partner". I asked her when she broke up with me whether there is someone else and she denied that. She denied that multiple times. I mean, fuck, three or four days before she broke up with me she showed me something on or phone and a text notification popped up with that guy's name literally asking "What are you doing today?". I didn't realise at the time what was probably going on. Who would, anyway? The girl that you've been together with for one and a half years having an affair with your co-worker who might as well be her uncle? I'm sorry if my writing's a bit incoherent. I haven't slept well the last couple of days. After all, this was my first relationship. I always liked to think that I was a good judge of character. Seems like I was wrong.

[QUOTE=uber.;52865246]I learned by accident that my ex cheated on me. She doesn't want me to know that the guy she fucked back then is the same guy she's now been together with for like half a year now. What's even better is that he's double her age (like, he's in his late forties) and a co-worker of mine. Don't get me wrong, I don't envy him. I mean, she's going to leave him eventually cause she already admitted herself that she "doesn't want a life partner". I asked her when she broke up with me whether there is someone else and she denied that. She denied that multiple times. I mean, fuck, three or four days before she broke up with me she showed me something on or phone and a text notification popped up with that guy's name literally asking "What are you doing today?". I didn't realise at the time what was probably going on. Who would, anyway? The girl that you've been together with for one and a half years having an affair with your co-worker who might as well be her uncle? I'm sorry if my writing's a bit incoherent. I haven't slept well the last couple of days. After all, this was my first relationship. I always liked to think that I was a good judge of character. Seems like I was wrong.[/QUOTE] Dude that is fucking awful, if you still have feelings for her I have no idea how you manage to be around that guy at work it would make my blood boil. Sometimes you don't pick up on the small signs and you convince yourself that nothing is happening, so seeing that text like 99% of the time seeing a text like that is literally nothing, so you treat it as such. It's just that 1% that it isn't and it ruins everything. Your probably are a good judge of character, most people can tell if people are lying and even knowing that we lie to other people, and we know that they know it's a lie but you do it anyway. I know you are sad now but you will eventually get over this and come out stronger while she will be alone after that guy if that gives you any happiness. Sorry to hear about this though, it's shit for you but you'll be better off for it. She doesn't deserve you. Edit: I am not saying I deserve you but if you think I do, PM me for good time.

[QUOTE=The golden;52865395]This is a little trick I taught myself to do in order to prevent my ASD brain from utterly trashing conversations with people - both physical and digital. Ask a lot of questions. Ask questions, ask the person to expand on their points, ask them to give details, share further experiences, etc. It's really easy to do once you get the hang of it and it shows that you are interested in what they are saying and their conversation without taking a lot of effort.[/QUOTE] I'd like to add onto this that you should make sure, when asking questions in a conversation, that you're not being judgemental or overly analytical. For example; if you're talking about music, and you say "I love the Beatles" and the person tells you that they're more of a metalhead, don't ask "Why do you like the metal?" (Actual quote from someone at my college) Instead, ask about their favorite songs/bands, and what ones they'd recommend you listen to. That way, you can listen to it yourself and if you like it, you get into the same kind of music they're into, or if it reminds you of another song/artist, tell them about it. The key to asking questions is to better understand the person; you also have to be sympathetic if they're talking about a subject important to them, listen to them and show them that you relate (if you do). And if you can't relate, that's when you ask them to go further and get a better understanding of where they're coming from.

A buddy of mine who lives in Albania and who's working on a game with me hasn't been active on any online stuff (Steam, skype, etc.) for four days. Is now a good time to panic?

Did he say anything before he left at all? I wouldn't panic I am assuming this is a grown person and probably has other things to attend too also with it being online, it could be an internet issue he is facing. If you don't communicate in any other way then I wouldn't worry, I would just wait and see what happens, give it a couple more days and see if he turns up.

[QUOTE=Clive;52865714]Did he say anything before he left at all? I wouldn't panic I am assuming this is a grown person and probably has other things to attend too also with it being online, it could be an internet issue he is facing. If you don't communicate in any other way then I wouldn't worry, I would just wait and see what happens, give it a couple more days and see if he turns up.[/QUOTE] No, he didn't say anything. Hopefully it's just an internet issue like you say and he turns up right quick and stuff.

could be you've been blocked :smug: